for the parents of the board: what is it like having/raising kids

[actsnoblemartin]

#1 how do you not go insane?

#2 does it change your life, for better or worse?

#3 does it put a strain on the marriage?

#4 how in the world do you do it?

#5 do you respect those who choose not to be parents

Disclaimer: I am not making this thread to insult anyone, just to gain some perspective.

[darin]

#1 - Because we are the parents. We don't let our kids do what makes them 'feel good'. We beat them when they need it. In turn, they respond and grow up to be disciplined, well-behaved, respectful, productive people.

#2 - It's not about me. It's about the kids.

#3 - It can highlight pre-existing problems, sure.

#4 - Because we are the parents. We don't let our kids do what makes them 'feel good'. We beat them when they need it. In turn, they respond and grow up to be disciplined, well-behaved, respectful, productive people.

#5 - Respect them how? As people? Sure...why not. (shrug).

[82Marine89]

Ditto, except I use a cattle prod.

[nevadamedic]

That's it just brag about beating your kids like you enjoy it.

[Trinity]

#1 how do you not go insane?

#2 does it change your life, for better or worse?

#3 does it put a strain on the marriage?

#4 how in the world do you do it?

#5 do you respect those who choose not to be parents

Disclaimer: I am not making this thread to insult anyone, just to gain some perspective.


#1 I make it a point to have me time so I do not go insane.

#2 I guess that would depend on each persons perspective. I personally feel my life is better after having children and always had a hard time understanding why a women would choose not to have children but everyone has there reasons. Some people just aren't cut out for kids.

#3 It can at times but as long as you and your spouse are on the same page with everything, things should be easily smoothed over.

#4 You just do it. You talk to other people, you read information on different things, and you find what works for your family, and do it.

#5 Of course I respect those who choose not to have children, like I said some people are just not cut out for being parents. It would be nice if more people would realize they were not cut out to be parents and we might not have so many messed up people in this world. I am referring to the parent's who mentally, emotionally, and physically abuse their children.

[Hagbard Celine]

I'm getting to the age when a person starts thinking about these types of things and I can barely imagine having rugrats running around everywhere. I can't fathom how people are able to keep track of them or what they are doing at any given moment. I remember being a kid and being semi-independent as far as things like playing with friends, cousins, siblings, etc. I guess that's the part I have a hard time imagining. These little larval people are like little genetic copies of you running around with free will. Does filling the parental role just come naturally?

[Kathianne]

I'm getting to the age when a person starts thinking about these types of things and I can barely imagine having rugrats running around everywhere. I can't fathom how people are able to keep track of them or what they are doing at any given moment. I remember being a kid and being semi-independent as far as things like playing with friends, cousins, siblings, etc. I guess that's the part I have a hard time imagining. These little larval people are like little genetic copies of you running around with free will. Does filling the parental role just come naturally?

If I'm hearing you correctly, for me the answer was no; 'letting go' was not easy at 2, 5, 7, 11, 15, (arrrggg), 18, 21, I'm still not good at it, inside. But I managed to recognize that letting out the strings, later letting them unravel a bit, was necessary for both the rugrats and myself. Children, actually people need some independence when ready for, along with the appropriate responsibilities, so they grow up ready to handle their own lives and those of their own rugrats. ;)

Now that they are 22, 24, and 26 slowly but surely we're able to treat each other as adults, with respect. I no longer 'tell' or even strongly suggest what they should do. I'll mention some things in the course of conversation, I'll leave them articles I think may inform them or give them something to ponder, but I'd do that with any good friends.

[Hagbard Celine]

If I'm hearing you correctly, for me the answer was no; 'letting go' was not easy at 2, 5, 7, 11, 15, (arrrggg), 18, 21, I'm still not good at it, inside. But I managed to recognize that letting out the strings, later letting them unravel a bit, was necessary for both the rugrats and myself. Children, actually people need some independence when ready for, along with the appropriate responsibilities, so they grow up ready to handle their own lives and those of their own rugrats. ;)

Now that they are 22, 24, and 26 slowly but surely we're able to treat each other as adults, with respect. I no longer 'tell' or even strongly suggest what they should do. I'll mention some things in the course of conversation, I'll leave them articles I think may inform them or give them something to ponder, but I'd do that with any good friends.

I don't know. My post was kinda rambling. You know those moments in your life when everything seems like it's starting to come together and you get really vivid flashes of the future and you see important moments in your life that are probably going to eventually happen? I've been getting that a lot lately. My relationship is completely awesome and we both get along with each other's families and I can see the glimmer or possibility of building a great life together and it's a little overwhelming when you get a flash of your rugrats running around at the in-law's lakehouse is all. :dunno:

[Kathianne]

I don't know. My post was kinda rambling. You know those moments in your life when everything seems like it's starting to come together and you get really vivid flashes of the future and you see important moments in your life that are probably going to eventually happen? I've been getting that a lot lately. My relationship is completely awesome and we both get along with each other's families and I can see the glimmer or possibility of building a great life together and it's a little overwhelming when you get a flash of your rugrats running around at the in-law's lakehouse is all. :dunno:

and falling off the pier or burying their brother or sister alive in the sand. :laugh2: There are no such highs or lows as caring for the gifts you made for yourselves and sharing those events in time. Looking back when the kids were small, seems like yesterday. Funny thing, those days were Loooonnnnngggg! :laugh2: Being an at home mom probably added to the length, but I wouldn't trade those memories for the world.

[5stringJeff]

#1 how do you not go insane?

#2 does it change your life, for better or worse?

#3 does it put a strain on the marriage?

#4 how in the world do you do it?

#5 do you respect those who choose not to be parents

Disclaimer: I am not making this thread to insult anyone, just to gain some perspective.

1. Because I love my kids, and I have a wife who does a great job of being a mother, and together we juggle the responsibilities of our three kids so we don't get burned out.

2. Yes, for the better.

3. It can, if you let it. Parenting, just like anything else in a marriage, takes communication.

4. One task at a time. And, by knowing when to put your children's needs and wants ahead of your own.

5. I really don't care if people don't want to have kids or not. What pisses me off is when a childless couple attempts to look down at me because of the choices I've made.

When it comes down to it, parenting is not something that can be fully explained. You have to experience it in order to fully understand.

[remie]

I'm getting to the age when a person starts thinking about these types of things and I can barely imagine having rugrats running around everywhere. I can't fathom how people are able to keep track of them or what they are doing at any given moment. I remember being a kid and being semi-independent as far as things like playing with friends, cousins, siblings, etc. I guess that's the part I have a hard time imagining. These little larval people are like little genetic copies of you running around with free will. Does filling the parental role just come naturally?

That would scare me too if I were you :poke:

[darin]

That's it just brag about beating your kids like you enjoy it.

I Spank my kids because I love them. I brag about loving my kids. (shrug).

[gabosaurus]

I Spank my kids because I love them. I brag about loving my kids. (shrug).

This is the best answer of them all. My parents never spanked me. Just knowing that they WOULD do it was enough to keep me in line. Discipline is the most important aspect of parenting, IMHO. No discipline = no respect. If your kids don't respect you, how do you expect them to obey you? I learned that from my mom, who had to fight this continual battle with my older sister.

I used to think that I didn't want to be a parent. I wanted to have a career. Then I learned that raising kids IS a career. I can only hope to be half the mother that my mom was. And still is. :)

[manu1959]

never wanted kids never wanted to get married....met my wife when i was 35....by time i was 36.....i realized my original ideas about marriage and kids was naive at best arrogant and selfish at the worst....

[Trigg]

I used to think that I didn't want to be a parent. I wanted to have a career. Then I learned that raising kids IS a career.


well said :clap:

Raising kids is hard work, the whole point is to raise a child to become a happy well adjusted adult.

[Trigg]

#1 how do you not go insane? Sometimes you do, just a little anyway.

#2 does it change your life, for better or worse? For me, it changed my life for the better all the way. I'm a better person for having children. They definitally make you think about the future instead of living in the now, afterall your sending them out into the world, you want to make sure it's going to be a good one.

#3 does it put a strain on the marriage? Sometimes it does, if you have a strong marriage you work through those times.

#4 how in the world do you do it? PATIENCE and LOVE

#5 do you respect those who choose not to be parents. Some people arn't maternal, if you don't want to have kids don't have them