Exacty where is 'home' for the holidays?

[Abbey Marie]

I have a brother-in-law who lives about 6 hours away from his parents. His parents still live in the home he grew up in- he is the one who moved away. (We live near his parents as well). He generally does not bother to visit them for Thanksgiving or Christmas, saying he just likes to stay home. Interestingly, his wife's family lives about 20 minutes from his parents, so they could see both families during the same visit.

If you live near (or with) your parents, this is probably not an issue, but if you live a good distance from your parents, where do you spend Thanksgiving? Christmas? Do you consider going to their place "going home" for the holidays, or do you just stay at your home? Do you try to split up the two holidays, and visit for one of them?

[darin]

Home is in puyallup - with my wife and kids. Her parents' house - the house she grew up in - is 'their' home now. Course, we're only about 30 miles away. :)

[Abbey Marie]

Home is in puyallup - with my wife and kids. Her parents' house - the house she grew up in - is 'their' home now. Course, we're only about 30 miles away. :)

Do you visit them (or your parents) on Thanksgiving or Christmas?

[hjmick]

Home is where ever my wife is.

[darin]

Do you visit them (or your parents) on Thanksgiving or Christmas?

Almost every thanksgiving and Christmas Day Night...yeah. It's important to her. The family I had growing up is fairly fractured. There's only 1 of my 3 brothers I see regularly. He and I spend Xmas eve with my Mom and her husband. No real traditions on that side of the family though.

[gabosaurus]

When I was younger, we used to fly to Dallas for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Since my mom and dad both grew up in Dallas.
Now, "home" is in Anaheim, where both of our parents live. We have joint celebrations.

[Said1]

My mother and sister usually come over x-mas morning. Dinner at the in-laws.

I grew up in Alberta, while my entire family was back here in Ontario - with the exception of my aunt and family. Generally, we either went to my aunts if my mother wasn't pissed off at them, other times their friends would invite us for x-mas dinner or we just stayed home.

[PostmodernProphet]

"Home" is about 600 miles away in Iowa and has been for 34 years.....we used to get out there twice a year but now that the kids are older and have part time jobs, it gets tougher to work it into the schedule....we will have Thanksgiving with my sister who lives about twenty miles away.....

[mrg666]

you need to split it up may be one year at mummy and daddies and next year at the inlaws (unless you want to piss em off ).
but you all get thanks giving so its easier

[Mr. P]

Since I left 'home' many years ago...'home' has always been where I hang 'my' hat. There's no going back. IMO.

[Kathianne]

Wow! When I was a kid, family was everything. I grew up with having Thanksgiving at my aunt's house, (dad's sister) and Christmas at my mom's. The aunt on my mom's side would come with my 6 cousins after dinner for dessert. This continued for several years after I married. One fall my aunt said she 'couldn't do Thanksgiving' anymore, my mom offered to host that too. She said no. My cousin's wife did so, (cousin was sort of my aunt's surrogate son), while we continued the tradition. I helped my mom at Christmas.

Then after several years, my aunt said they didn't want to do so much anymore. My mom again offered to host both, saying that both myself and my sister-in-law would help. No go.

Okay, we went down to our immediate family, which for Thanksgiving included my in-laws and my brother's in-laws. When I divorced, my additions were subtracted. In any case, my sister-in-law started to host Thanksgiving for 20-25. I hosted Christmas for the same. The bonds became closer, truth to tell, I still like my SIL stepmom and step sister more, though I've learned to love my SIL.

In less than 5 years we've lost my mom and dad. This year my SIL step mom is doing Thanksgiving, we're all going. Christmas while all are invited, is going to be about 10 at my home. I know it's all slipping away and can't do a thing to stop it. My kids and my brother's kids will lose in the long run, but time will tell how it will play out.

Funny thing, both my brother's and my kids are not quick to getting married or having children. My kids are more reticient for good reason, but while 2 of his have married, one doesn't want kids, the other has to deal with health issues, which may make children an impossibility. In any case, over the hills and through the woods seems to be a thing of the past.

[glockmail]

Way back in the last century Ms. Glock and I would drive 6 hours to see my parents for a day or so, leave on Christmas eve about 9pm (after opening gifts), drive 4 hours to her Mom's house for Christmas morning to open up more gifts, then drive 5-1/2 hours back home. After my oldest was born I put a stop to that, and since then home is my home.

[5stringJeff]

Since I left 'home' many years ago...'home' has always been where I hang 'my' hat. There's no going back. IMO.

Indeed. My wife and I have created a new family, and that's where "home" is for us.

[Abbey Marie]

Don't you all think it is sad for parents that their kids decide after all those years that 'home' is now their house, and everyone celebrates separately? I don't think I've ever had a Thanksgiving or Christmas where I did not see my parents.

[PostmodernProphet]

Don't you all think it is sad for parents that their kids decide after all those years that 'home' is now their house, and everyone celebrates separately? I don't think I've ever had a Thanksgiving or Christmas where I did not see my parents.

there is another side to that coin, however.....my wife and I came to the realization, when our kids were about 12 and 8, that they were growing up with NO memories of Christmas at home, since all their Christmas memories were of long tiring trips to Iowa to see grandparents.....

[Kathianne]

there is another side to that coin, however.....my wife and I came to the realization, when our kids were about 12 and 8, that they were growing up with NO memories of Christmas at home, since all their Christmas memories were of long tiring trips to Iowa to see grandparents.....

I hear you, and I'll say that as a young parent I agreed with you. I guess that is why my house became the Christmas Eve house. We ended up with dinner on Christmas Eve at my abode, though Christmas Day dinner and such was at my mom's.

My mom needed help, yet I wanted to 'be there' for my kids. I took a step back and asked myself, who is this for?

I hadn't a problem after that.

[5stringJeff]

Don't you all think it is sad for parents that their kids decide after all those years that 'home' is now their house, and everyone celebrates separately? I don't think I've ever had a Thanksgiving or Christmas where I did not see my parents.

This will be the first year ever that my wife and I celebrate the holidays without seeing the rest of the family (who is on the West Coast). At some point, the "next generation" has to start having the holiday celebrations at their house.

[Abbey Marie]

This will be the first year ever that my wife and I celebrate the holidays without seeing the rest of the family (who is on the West Coast). At some point, the "next generation" has to start having the holiday celebrations at their house.

I don't think anyone would expect you to travel 3,000 miles for the holidays.

[82Marine89]

This year, Thanksgiving was yesterday for me. The girls are with their mom on Thursday. I'll be by myself watching football. Christmas, I have my girls so it will be in San Diego. Mom and dad are still in New York. They've moved out on the island to a smaller house with my 91 year old grandmother living with them. I'll call them, but no visits this year.

[manu1959]

we have christmas and thanksgiving at our house with the kids......no traveling.......if holiday my kids will remeber will be in their own home..........when they get married and have kids i will encourage them to do the same.....i hted being a vagabond as a child.....hated it.....no wait.....hated it.....

[Trigg]

When I was younger my family lived so far away from each other that we hardly ever traveled for the holidays.

My husband's family lives in the same town, to this day only a few of his cousins have moved. They used to all go to his grandparents for Christmas, until his grandmother died. Now his grandad travels to each of his kids (8)houses on Thanksgiving. On Christmas there is a huge family get together with a rented room and most (100) immediate family members make it.

My family is much smaller and again we all live in the same area. We switch Thanksgiving each year, this yr is at the in-laws and our get together is Sunday at my house. Christmas day evening we spend with my family also since the morning is the big in-law dinner.

I think this works out pretty well. My sister does the same trade since the family she married into is huge also (11 aunts and uncles) and has a big family get together.

[Pale Rider]

My parents live 2,200 miles away from me in Wisconsin where I grew up. The house and land has long since been sold and they live in a condo. Old folks... don't want anything they have to fix. So being the gypsy I am, way the hell out west here is where I call home. If I don't see mountains, I don't feel at home. So home to me is kind of like Mr. P, but not quite. I do like my home, and I put a lot of effort into making my home feel like home. But home to me is where ever I'm living. I hated living back in Wisconsin, and never really considered it home anyway.

[Mr. P]

My parents live 2,200 miles away from me in Wisconsin where I grew up. The house and land has long since been sold and they live in a condo. Old folks... don't want anything they have to fix. So being the gypsy I am, way the hell out west here is where I call home. If I don't see mountains, I don't feel at home. So home to me is kind of like Mr. P, but not quite. I do like my home, and I put a lot of effort into making my home feel like home. But home to me is where ever I'm living. I hated living back in Wisconsin, and never really considered it home anyway.

That's exactly how I feel about it Pale.

[Yurt]

I'll be here. Working on projects, will try to take off turkey day, but I am helping a family member out with some stuff.

Who knows. But I will tell you, it is kinda nice not having to travel this year.

[5stringJeff]

I don't think anyone would expect you to travel 3,000 miles for the holidays.

I know. But it's kind of a good way to get our immediate family to create some of our own family traditions.

[glockmail]

Finally finished the damn turkey. 8 meals in a row (not including breakfasts).