I'll try again, hypothetically...

[jimnyc]

I have a friend, Frank, who has some issues he's seeking advice on. I'm not sure I'm the best to advise him as I have a nasty temper and sometimes let my emotions get the best of me.

Frank is a nice guy. He keeps to himself and rarely leaves his house. He's kind and polite with his neighbors and goes out of his way to avoid conflict, and keep a good standing in the neighborhood.

Unfortunately, Frank has a small issue with a pair of idiots living near him. They don't own a home like him, rather they live in the troublesome apartment complex near his home. While the complex provides parking for it's tenants, apparently they don't provide enough, leaving tenants to find alternate parking on the surrounding roads. Frank has a little sympathy for them, as the parking issues in his town are atrocious, but these people should have looked into this before moving in. Furthermore, they own 2 vehicles, and only get one assigned parking space within the complex.

Rather than walk a few blocks to their apartment by parking in legal spaces, these 2 find the closes possible spot they can to their dwelling and park there, legal or not. Frank doesn't care much that they break the law in general, as Frank is no saint himself. But they take it upon themselves to park in areas that directly effect Frank's living pleasure. They park in illegal spots so close to his driveway that he can barely drive out of his own home at times.

Frank tried to be reasonable at first, and approached the couple in various manners, only to be met with sarcasm, rudeness and filthy language as the couple sped off laughing - then the parking issue continued.

Rather than get in trouble by taking matters into his own hands, Frank asked the police to assist. They came out several times and ticketed the vehicle only as there are no towing ordinances in his town. Being that the tickets are about $6, it isn't much of a deterrent. In fact, some think it's a cheap parking fee. Frank soon became the "villain" to both the police and the illegal parkers for getting the police involved at such a frequency. The police stopped coming, and matters became worse with the neighbors. They started throwing garbage on his lawn as they drove by and calling his son names as they left or arrived at their illegal parking spot.

Frank recently had a minor altercation with the gentleman. They illegally parked once again, and had a few words as the couple walked towards their apartment. The gentleman apparently pushed Frank one too many times, so Frank gave him a friendly punch in the face. Luckily, it ended there, and no police apparently were called to intervene. Of course Frank is now worried about vandalism occurring to his vehicles and/or his home.

My advice to Frank might just make matters worse. How would you guys tell Frank to handle the situation going forward?

[chesswarsnow]

Sorry bout that,

1. Invite the guy out for a beers~n~burgers, and try to make peace over this, at least try it.
2. Explain how you don't want to bash into his car, and how his parking where he does, brings this possibility into play.
3. Make it sound like you're looking out for him, not for yourself.
4. Seems rather petty that this kind of thing has blown up like it has.
5. Two hot heads could have these turn into a death match.
6. Seems rather pointless for that.
7. Throw him and olive branch before this gets crazy.


Regards,
SirJamesofTexas

[jackass]

Thats a tough one man. I think maybe you should try and start fresh. If Frank know where they live (what apartment) knock on the door with a 6-pack and some cookies or something. Tell them that things are getting out of hand and he wants to call a truce and discuss a reasonable alternative. What that alternative will be, Im not sure. Maybe you or Frank has one in mind. I wouldnt let things get much more out of hand then it is. You never know what people will do nowadays.
This will mean that Frank has to be the bigger man, and swallow some pride. I know thats going to be hard for Frank, but the alternatives are worse.

P.S.
Did Frank win the fight??? :laugh2:

[82Marine89]

In the middle of the night, Frank should accidentally spill a gallon of paint stripper on the roof of this guys car or maybe someone that is performing a u-turn should accidentally back into his car, not notice they did it, and drive away.

[jimnyc]

P.S.
Did Frank win the fight??? :laugh2:

Frank got a damn good shot in that put the other fellow to his knees. He "acted" like he wanted more once he got to his feet, but also acted like his 5'3" girlfriend was holding him back. Frank is a nice guy, but has a few temper issues at times. :)

[Pale Rider]

Frank should first exhaust every possible LEGAL avenue he has. If the police have stopped coming, then Frank should call the CHEIF of police and politely explain to him that you still need assistance dealing with illegally parking neighbors.

If this doesn't help, maybe Frank could start documenting how the parking offender is parked by taking pictures and making note of day and time. Catalog a month or so of it and then sue the offender for trespassing and/or infringement on private property and inconvenience, to the tune of say max allowed in small claims court.

If all else fails, go down town and make friends with your local Hells Angels. Wait until the offender is parked where they shouldn't be and invite your new HA friends over for a beer, then tell them what's been going on. Take your new friends over to meet the offender... and try not to laugh when the offender pisses their pants. Problem solved.

[Gaffer]

Sugar in the gas tank sure sucks.

[jackass]

Unfortunetly all of those methods will come back to Frank as well. Im sure the neighbor will know who did it.
I was thinking though, know anyone with a POS car? Have them come over for dinner and accidently back into said offenders car. Cant say it was either of your cars because they will be fine :)

[dan]

Unfortunetly all of those methods will come back to Frank as well. Im sure the neighbor will know who did it.
I was thinking though, know anyone with a POS car? Have them come over for dinner and accidently back into said offenders car. Cant say it was either of your cars because they will be fine :)

Or, if he has regular access to a POS car, he could just leave it in the spot, so they can't park there, maybe?

[Cheyenne]

Jackass & Chesswarsnow are right. Frank is in a VERY difficult situation and any retaliation will only exacerbate the issue to the point where someone just might get hurt, irreparably.

[Pale Rider]

Unfortunetly all of those methods will come back to Frank as well. Im sure the neighbor will know who did it.
I was thinking though, know anyone with a POS car? Have them come over for dinner and accidently back into said offenders car. Cant say it was either of your cars because they will be fine :)

I recommended using the law, until nothing else was left. My last method is intended for the neighbor to know. That's the whole point.

[jackass]

I recommended using the law, until nothing else was left. My last method is intended for the neighbor to know. That's the whole point.

I understand. I meant the others.... :cool:

[mrg666]

In the middle of the night, Frank should accidentally spill a gallon of paint stripper on the roof of this guys car or maybe someone that is performing a u-turn should accidentally back into his car, not notice they did it, and drive away.

thats me as well as letting the tyres down , anything to make the bastards think it's a bad area to park .
psssst im having similar problems here .

[Abbey Marie]

In the sage words of Mike Tyson, "People suck".

What really gets me is that the girl took this scum back after he beat her.

Frank needs to be careful, as this guy has already shown that he is violent and doesn't care about the law.

[jackass]

In the sage words of Mike Tyson, "People suck".

What really gets me is that the girl took this scum back after he beat her.

Frank needs to be careful, as this guy has already shown that he is violent and doesn't care about the law.

I dont think he beat her. I think just Frank and the offender had a fight.

[OCA]

Frank needed to bash this bastard in the head a few times when was dropped to his knees, either that or Frank needs to get a couple of local guineas to pay this guy a visit and i'm sure after that there will be no more cars parked in that spot.

Forget the nice guy peace crap Frank, you tried that, it didn't work. Frank's son got messed with you say? That is enough reason for Frank to put this guy in the emergency room right there, there is no deterrent on earth that is better than for someone to know that if they keep fucking around they could end up with some permanent injury, you need to put the sensation of fearful dred into this bastard's heart, there are some things that eat at a man worse than spending a night or two in the pokey.

Man up Frank.

Cookies.......ROTFLMFAO!:laugh2:

[Abbey Marie]

I dont think he beat her. I think just Frank and the offender had a fight.

From the deleted thread:


She further told me that they were no longer together as he had beaten her, and that she hoped he now died.

[Pale Rider]

Well I'm just a little curious now... what is Frank going to do?

[jackass]

From the deleted thread:

Well how the hell am I suppose to read a deleted thread?!?!?? :laugh2:

[Abbey Marie]

Well how the hell am I suppose to read a deleted thread?!?!?? :laugh2:

I thought you might have read it before it was deleted. Several people did, lol!

[Yurt]

What did hypothical girlfriend say to hypothetical Frank after hypothetical Frank hit hypothetical asshole boyfriend? Given that hypothetical asshole has hit/abused hypothetical girlfriend in the hypothetical past.

And why have we not heard from Jim on this exercise in hypotheticalnessness.

[jimnyc]

Sugar in the gas tank sure sucks.

I've heard as much! I also heard if you lift the hood on a car of that type, and drop a few screw into the carburetor, that it could cause a few issues!


Unfortunetly all of those methods will come back to Frank as well. Im sure the neighbor will know who did it.
I was thinking though, know anyone with a POS car? Have them come over for dinner and accidently back into said offenders car. Cant say it was either of your cars because they will be fine :)

Frank said the offenders car is a pile of shit to begin with and they probably wouldn't notice if someone banged into it.


Or, if he has regular access to a POS car, he could just leave it in the spot, so they can't park there, maybe?

Frank has a decent vehicle, and parks it solely in his own driveway!


Jackass & Chesswarsnow are right. Frank is in a VERY difficult situation and any retaliation will only exacerbate the issue to the point where someone just might get hurt, irreparably.

This is Frank's biggest concern, and the reason I've told him to lay low and just know he's better than this guy, and move on. With a home, vehicles, and most importantly, a child, he has a lot more to lose than a street punk.


thats me as well as letting the tyres down , anything to make the bastards think it's a bad area to park .
psssst im having similar problems here .

Right now Frank would be blamed if the wind blew too hard and dropped an acorn on the hood. I told Frank it might be wise to wait some months until he's no longer a thought before doing anything. BTW - the best way to have fun with the tires is to cut the plugs out, or use a good buck knife and jab directly through the sidewalls!


In the sage words of Mike Tyson, "People suck".

What really gets me is that the girl took this scum back after he beat her.

Frank needs to be careful, as this guy has already shown that he is violent and doesn't care about the law.

This guy might think he's tough with his woman, but he's undoubtedly doing so cause he's too much of a punk to mess with the big boys. Frank knows he'll pummel this guy if it came down to it, but said pummeling can lead to handcuffs!


Frank needed to bash this bastard in the head a few times when was dropped to his knees, either that or Frank needs to get a couple of local guineas to pay this guy a visit and i'm sure after that there will be no more cars parked in that spot.

Forget the nice guy peace crap Frank, you tried that, it didn't work. Frank's son got messed with you say? That is enough reason for Frank to put this guy in the emergency room right there, there is no deterrent on earth that is better than for someone to know that if they keep fucking around they could end up with some permanent injury, you need to put the sensation of fearful dred into this bastard's heart, there are some things that eat at a man worse than spending a night or two in the pokey.

Man up Frank.

Cookies.......ROTFLMFAO!:laugh2:

Maybe Frank needs a visit from OCA to lay the law down! :)


Well I'm just a little curious now... what is Frank going to do?

Frank is biding his time. I calmed him down and told him to avoid any typ of further issues. It's best to turn the other cheek at this point...


What did hypothical girlfriend say to hypothetical Frank after hypothetical Frank hit hypothetical asshole boyfriend? Given that hypothetical asshole has hit/abused hypothetical girlfriend in the hypothetical past.

And why have we not heard from Jim on this exercise in hypotheticalnessness.

Girlfriend just tried to calm her boyfriend down, told him to forget about it, and tried to coax him away and back to their cockroach lair.

As for Jim, I think Frank did the right thing, even if it was stupid. Sometimes a man needs to say "enough is enough" and show someone that if pushed hard enough they will strike back. I have a pretty horrid temper myself though, so I'm not sure I should be advising Frank in such matters! LOL

[diuretic]

PR has recommended the law first up. Very wise idea and one that should indeed be heeded. PR also mentioned the Chief of Police. Also a sage point.

Now, following from that line:

How many cops in the dept? (approx). Are we looking at a moderate size force, a small one?

Cops get bored easily. Cops hate getting called back to the same job time and time again. Cops are also not imaginative in handling repeat calls. This means that they will eventually stop responding. That's not a good thing. That means that the dickhead (ie the male party who is not Frank) will think he now has carte blanche to be an even bigger arsehole than before.

Now Frank has a choice. If he still wishes to pursue the law as an option then he has to get the cops to do their job. This means, as PR has pointed out, contacting the Chief. However if the Chief is a Wiggum clone this is a problem. This is where the difficulty arises. Cops have bosses. Local politicians. Local politicians need to be responsive to their constituents. They will jump all over the chief if they feel their (politicians) interests are in danger.

Frank could also go and see the cops and ask for them to be a bit more imaginative and perhaps look at a problem-oriented policing approach to this situation - http://www.popcenter.org/. This could be a problem in itself because cops hate being told how to do their job by non-cops.

Frank needs to weigh all these suggestions in this thread when they're pointed out to him.

[82Marine89]

thats me as well as letting the tyres down , anything to make the bastards think it's a bad area to park .
psssst im having similar problems here .

Just throw the mini over your shoulder and carry it down the street. :poke:

[82Marine89]

Frank needed to bash this bastard in the head a few times when was dropped to his knees, either that or Frank needs to get a couple of local guineas to pay this guy a visit and i'm sure after that there will be no more cars parked in that spot.


You want that I should have to kick your ass for assuming us Italians are a mean lot?

[glockmail]

When I was in college I had three run-ins with assholes like the ones bothering Frank. All three times I did the same thing. I did a little thinking and investigation and found out how I could hurt the offender real bad and real personal, then threatened him with it face to face. It worked like the nads for two of them. The third was so dumb it took actually doing it, but that worked eventually as well.

[glockmail]

How to deal with problem neighbors real life example #1

You live on the top floor of a high rise dorm. Neighbor directly below you plays his stereo very loud, at all hours. You visit him and ask him politely to turn it down. As soon as you re-enter your own room neighbor friend turns it back up. You find out his phone number and call him. He turns it down to answer the phone, then turns it right back up after hanging up on you.

Thought and research….

You find out that this guy works for the campus radio station, his hobby is electronics and he has access to the roof. You notice an antenna wire running from his window to said roof. Next time the stereo is played, you call up your friend, and when he hangs up, you yank the wire from the roof, turning music into static.

Radio-man replaces the wire the next day and places it out of your reach. Music is on loud again. You then take a hockey stick, grab the wire and re- yank it off the roof. This again changes music to static, and your phone to ring. This time your friend is calling you, threatening bodily harm. You ask him what would happen if the antenna end of the wire were plugged into the 120 volt wall receptacle. This is met with stunned silence, followed by “you wouldn’t do that”, prompting hysterical laughter from you.

Problem solved, neighbor friend purchases headphones.

[Abbey Marie]

Tell Frank that the next time he needs to pee when it is dark outside, open up the neighbor's gas cap, and well, you can guess the rest.

[Yurt]

Girlfriend just tried to calm her boyfriend down, told him to forget about it, and tried to coax him away and back to their cockroach lair.

As for Jim, I think Frank did the right thing, even if it was stupid. Sometimes a man needs to say "enough is enough" and show someone that if pushed hard enough they will strike back. I have a pretty horrid temper myself though, so I'm not sure I should be advising Frank in such matters! LOL

Looks good to me. If the girlfriend told the a-hole to stfu then she knows whats up. If she had been yelling at frank and blaiming frank, then I might be a bit worried. But, since she seems to think frank did a community service, I think frank is ok. Especially since a-hole has abused her and the a-hole probably knows that frank knows this.

[glockmail]

How to deal with problem neighbors real life example #2

Your college roommate is pledging a frat. Roomy also has a habit of porking his girlfriend while you are sleeping and you notify him that his displays of affection are not appreciated. Miffed, he invites his frat buddies-to-be up to meet you, and the largest does not speak, but with actions threatens you with bodily harm. You respond by inviting your friends in to meet him, and your new friend then leaves politely.

Roomy moves out. The phone in your room begins to ring at wee, with unfamiliar voice threatening you with bodily harm. You respond by asking his name and location so that you may visit to receive such treatment now. Unknown voice responds with further untenable threats until hanging up. This is repeated once or twice weekly for a while.

Thought and research….

You determine the name of the fraternity, and on the next weekend visit home locate a “paddle” from said fraternity owned by your older brother. You proudly display it in your dorm room. Phone rings again at wee hours. You instruct your friend to go to a certain room, look up your brother’s name on a certain plaque, then ask the frat president what would happen to him if he was found threatening the brother of an alumni. Then you hang up the phone.

The next day Roomy visits room to “pick up some belongings” and notices said paddle. He then compliments you on what a great guy you are and how nice it was to know you.

[diuretic]

Yer a bunch of evil bastards.

I like it. :laugh2:

[Pale Rider]

And last but certainly not least, lets not forget making friends with the H.A.'s. Believe me, motorcycle gangs are great problem solvers.

[OCA]

You want that I should have to kick your ass for assuming us Italians are a mean lot?

Frank is from the boroughs of NYC or damn close as in single digit miles not hours, everyone in NYC knows someone who knows someone who knows some of the local connected guineas who will take care of your problem for you provided you are a standup guy yourself.

Not saying that all guineas are mean bastards but hey its a fact that some are downright ruthless and thats what I love about my guinea neighbors.

[glockmail]

I've come up with a possible solution but I need to know if James, er, Frank has a garage. You see, Frank has a tremendous advantage here, in that he owns his property and can park his car on it, while POS is merely parking his sled near Frank.

[diuretic]

If things get really bad a cellar might be useful......

[glockmail]

A garage would be helpful to protect Frank's car from retaliation. But as long as "Frank" can park his car on his property near his house my solution will still work.

POS has a POS car so he doesn't car about acid, key marks, or the like. He cares that it starts and drives when he needs it to. Take that away from POS and he'l think twice about being an asshole. Sugar and screws can cause permanent damage and could get Frank in trouble. A better solution is easy to implement, temporarily diables the vehicle but does no permanent damage.

1. Purchase a Shader valve tool at a local bike shop. This is a 20 cents device that is used to screw out the itty bitty valve from the valve stem.

2. Install motion sensitive lighting on the house or on a pole to light up Frank's car if someone comes near it at night.

3. Under the cover of darkness take said tool and loosen two tire valves just enough so that they leak out all the air before morning but slow enough so that they don't make a hissing noise. If POS has a working spare, he will need to diagnose the problem and fix it, requiring at least two hours out of his day, taxi rides or help from his wench. They'll be late for work, won't be able to prove anything, and the cops won't be a help to them or bother Frank.

4. Repeat process 3, for three, then all four tires, for as long as it takes POS to find another place to park.

[Gaffer]

A garage would be helpful to protect Frank's car from retaliation. But as long as "Frank" can park his car on his property near his house my solution will still work.

POS has a POS car so he doesn't car about acid, key marks, or the like. He cares that it starts and drives when he needs it to. Take that away from POS and he'l think twice about being an asshole. Sugar and screws can cause permanent damage and could get Frank in trouble. A better solution is easy to implement, temporarily diables the vehicle but does no permanent damage.

1. Purchase a Shader valve tool at a local bike shop. This is a 20 cents device that is used to screw out the itty bitty valve from the valve stem.

2. Install motion sensitive lighting on the house or on a pole to light up Frank's car if someone comes near it at night.

3. Under the cover of darkness take said tool and loosen two tire valves just enough so that they leak out all the air before morning but slow enough so that they don't make a hissing noise. If POS has a working spare, he will need to diagnose the problem and fix it, requiring at least two hours out of his day, taxi rides or help from his wench. They'll be late for work, won't be able to prove anything, and the cops won't be a help to them or bother Frank.

4. Repeat process 3, for three, then all four tires, for as long as it takes POS to find another place to park.

Even needle nose pliers will do the trick for this.

[jimnyc]

Similar to what Paul Kersey did, "Wildey" is on his way! (You'll have to know Charles Bronson and the Death Wish movie to get that)

[diuretic]

Similar to what Paul Kersey did, "Wildey" is on his way! (You'll have to know Charles Bronson and the Death Wish movie to get that)

There were three of them from memory. I also used to like the Mack Bolan books. I have a NEED for revenge :lol: