Taliban Quits Twitter To Protest Return Of Trump

[Gunny]

KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN — Individuals and organizations are quitting Twitter in droves to protest Elon Musk's "recklessly violent" decision to reinstate Donald Trump's Twitter account, chief among them the Taliban.
The legitimate government's final tweet read, "So long, and thanks for all the American weapons!"
"Long has Twitter served as a safe haven of free speech for North Korea, Iran, Al Qaeda, and ourselves," said Taliban Spokesman Badrash Onmyrhir, still tired from a long day of lashing young women for daring to remove their head scarves. "But with Trump's return to the platform, we no longer feel safe from his violent and hurtful tweets."
North Korean Press Secretary, Hae Yu Suk applauded the Taliban's decision, saying: "We, The Democratic People's Republic of Korea have followed The Taliban's courageous gesture and have quit Twitter for fears that allowing a violent lunatic access to the free speech platform may lead to the deaths of millions."
Al Qaeda is reportedly up in the air about quitting Twitter, stating legitimate fears that Trump's mean tweets could reign terror upon the world, while at the same time recognizing Twitter as a powerful tool for recruiting suicide bombers.
At publishing time, the Taliban had already resumed using Twitter, stating in a tweet, "After pausing for much of the weekend to assess our concerns, The Taliban is resuming its activity on Twitter as we continue to monitor the situation."
https://babylonbee.com/news/taliban-quits-twitter-to-protest-trumps-reinstatement

[jimnyc]

"So long, and thanks for all the American weapons!" :lol:

[Kathianne]

https://babylonbee.com/news/taliban-quits-twitter-to-protest-trumps-reinstatement

So much reminds me of RL CBS. LOL!

[Gunny]

So much reminds me of RL CBS. LOL!

Since you brought it up :) :


NEW YORK, NY — This week, CBS News confirmed that Hunter Biden's laptop detailing illegal acts, including foreign financial entanglements that involved President Joe Biden, was indeed legitimate. The astute news station has also recognized that the story about Abraham Lincoln being assassinated is credible.
"It can be dangerous to rush to declare a story ‘true' when it has all the earmarks of Confederate Disinformation," said CBS News anchor Tony Dokoupil to his viewer this week, defending the outlet's delay on confirming the veracity of the story. "Confirming a story too soon can mislead people. To keep the public informed, we are proud to have censored the story about Lincoln's death until a few hundred years – and while it's no longer relevant and all Lincoln's grandchildren are dead, we're glad we waited until we were sure the coast was clear."
CBS News has put out a press release regarding the timing of their breaking the Lincoln story, adding that waiting to gather all the relevant facts and avoiding jumping to conclusions helps keep the populace informed. "If the story about the 16th President's death turned out to be a hoax even 100 or 150 years after the fact, it could have unfairly helped Republicans in elections – and this is something our organization is sworn to resist." The press release ended with a black fist emoji and the hashtag "#Resist" as well, indicating the strength of their resolve.
At publishing time, the story on Lincoln's death had to be reopened for consideration as CBS received new information that the Democrats needed to prevent him from being labeled as a "martyr" for Republicans. Over 50 intelligence agents have since signed a statement saying the "Assassination From Hell" story is likely disinformation. Discussing it has already been banned on all social media platforms except Twitter and Truth Social.
https://babylonbee.com/news/cbs-news-officially-confirms-that-lincoln-has-been-shot