Middle School Detention!

[Trinity]

Ok get this my 6th grader got a detention this week. Why you ask? Well apparently because he was tardy to 3 of his classes in a 9 week period. Why was he tardy? Because he had to go to the bathroom. They give them about 3 minutes between classes to get everything they need from their lockers and get to their next class the bathroom is not very close to where his classes are.

I asked William way can't he go after he gets to class he told me because they only give them 30 hall passes a semester and once he uses them all he will not have any left to use until the next semester starts up. What? I said so you are telling me that if you use all of your hall passes in the first 9 weeks of school the 2nd 9 weeks of school if you do not have any hall passes and you are sitting in class and have to pee you can't go because you have no hall passes? He said Yes.

He has already used about 15 of his hall passes for the bathroom and going to the office 3 times and this is only the 5th week of school.


I'm sorry but this is the biggest crock of shit I have ever heard, if the child has to pee and has no hall passes he can't go to the bathroom! And on top of that they are giving him detention because he was trying to use the bathroom between classes so he could save his hall passes for emergencies and now he is being punished. Needless to say I am pissed and the principal will be getting a visit from me on Monday!

You know I might be able to see it if he was a problem child and out messing around, but he is a good kid never gets in any trouble at school. His teachers always talk very highly of him, he has never been disciplined at school for anything, because he never does anything to get into trouble.

[truthmatters]

Sadly it gets worse as they get older too.

You have to constantly be their advocate in the school system as they get older because the Good kids all get treated like they are criminals in an attempt to keep anything from happening in the school.

Our schools are TOO big as in too many kids and not enough teachers and too many administrators.

When you look back in history schools did not have as many problems keeping kids in line. Look and you will see they had very small graduating Classes. When a school has fewer kids to deal with every perso on the staff knows every kid. They know who makes trouble and who has a real issue which needs fixing.They know what each kid needs to learn and have impressed to them to be a better citizen.

My son went into home study in his junior year and graduated almost a full year early because He was sooo sick of being treated like a criminal by every staff member when he had never broken a single school rule in his life.

Be his advocate as best you can. Its no fun because its like running a maze and you have to deal with all the personalitys and some are little nazis. Best wishes and I hope your schools are staffed with decent people. Hang in there it has just begun.

[Trinity]

Sadly it gets worse as they get older too.

You have to constantly be their advocate in the school system as they get older because the Good kids all get treated like they are criminals in an attempt to keep anything from happening in the school.

Our schools are TOO big as in too many kids and not enough teachers and too many administrators.

When you look back in history schools did not have as many problems keeping kids in line. Look and you will see they had very small graduating Classes. When a school has fewer kids to deal with every perso on the staff knows every kid. They know who makes trouble and who has a real issue which needs fixing.They know what each kid needs to learn and have impressed to them to be a better citizen.

My son went into home study in his junior year and graduated almost a full year early because He was sooo sick of being treated like a criminal by every staff member when he had never broken a single school rule in his life.

Be his advocate as best you can. Its no fun because its like running a maze and you have to deal with all the personalitys and some are little nazis. Best wishes and I hope your schools are staffed with decent people. Hang in there it has just begun.

Thanks......Fortunately my son attends a small school, his graduating class will be about 100 kids total............. and yes I will make it a point to be very involved with his school and the teachers, to hopefully avoid any other future crap like this.

[truthmatters]

Your kids are lucky to have you.

I feel for the kids who dont have parents who can or are willing to take on this massive task.

Our schools really need a good going over.

[LiberalNation]

That's pretty normal for schools. I really don't have time to use the restroom between classes so I just don't go all day normally. You hafta plan your time, no chatting with friends in the hall if you wana be on time and go to your locker and bathroom. Giving the principle a hard time wont help.

My son went into home study in his junior year and graduated almost a full year early because He was sooo sick of being treated like a criminal by every staff member when he had never broken a single school rule in his life.
Yeah this is what I hate most about school. They give you such a hard time and you haven't even done anything.

[Cheyenne]

That's pretty normal for schools. I really don't have time to use the restroom between classes so I just don't go all day normally.This is a very unhealthy practice. You may be young enough now to not feel the effects, but I know an emergency room nurse who suffers terribly from bladder problems. Diagnosis: She would hold her pee too long.
It is normal to void your bladder no less than 6 times per day.

[LiberalNation]

Maybe but it's better than detention for not making a class before the bell to many times. Besides the school bathrooms stink, not a good place to go anyway.

[Abbey Marie]

Maybe but it's better than detention for not making a class before the bell to many times. Besides the school bathrooms stink, not a good place to go anyway.

My daughter won't go in the school bathrooms either, unless it is an emergency of some kind. I think a lot of kids are "holding it" all day.

[Kathianne]

Just an aside from a middle school's perspective. He's over 1/2 through the semester and has used half of his passes. In most school's there are bathrooms that may be used during PE, study hall, and lunch room, with only monitor's permission.

Personally I've gotten pretty good at telling when a kid really needs to 'go' and when they just want to 'go for a walk from class', (yes believe it or not, many do want to leave the classroom during direct instruction, then wonder why they are missing so much important information.)

It's true that most of the kids that try to 'walk' are usually hyper, high achieving, low achieving. This is especially true of 6th graders adjusting to middle school. If your son has some sort of condition that renders immediate bathroom privileges, have the pediatrician send a note, he'll be exempted. However, do not expect the teachers to keep track of what he's missing while gone. (Such as when the test is, what homework is, etc. He will be held accountable, even if he was 'out of the room.'

[Cheyenne]

Besides the school bathrooms stink, not a good place to go anyway.
I thought that's why they pay custodians.
Maybe this subject should be brought up at the next PTO, PTA or School Board meeting.

[LiberalNation]

kathianne makes a good point too. A lot of kids do use their passes just to walk the halls saying they need to go to the bathroom. 3 minutes is enough to go if you are quick and don't waste time chatting or anything else. I've done it before and made class in emergencies.

[Angel Heart]

I'd take this issue to the schools Site Council. Every school in the US has one. Ask in the office. Most don't know about them. They don't want the parents talking at them. They don't value our view or solutions we have to solve issues.

[Guernicaa]

I never went to the bathroom very much in middle school.
The abuses on the bathrooms were horrible. Kids periodically pissed on the floor, and on numerous occasions throughout the year (don't ask me how) smeared shit on the stall walls and splattered it on the ceiling.
Also, the bathrooms had no soap. The janitors refused to put it in because kids would just push the soap button to make a huge pile of soap on the floor. So a lot of the teachers had big bottles of hand sanitizer.

The pass thing is bull shit though. I understand a lot of kids want to abuse the privilege, but that’s their problem. Let them miss out and be stupid. It’s not affecting the teacher.

Most of my teachers in middle school had the 30 passes per semester thing...except for my health teacher. We asked her why she didn't have the pass system and she said that its bad for your bladder to have to hold pee, some people have problems and have to go frequently, and that (ladies especially) have issues that they need to take care of periodically.

[Kathianne]

I never went to the bathroom very much in middle school.
The abuses on the bathrooms were horrible. Kids periodically pissed on the floor, and on numerous occasions throughout the year (don't ask me how) smeared shit on the stall walls and splattered it on the ceiling.
Also, the bathrooms had no soap. The janitors refused to put it in because kids would just push the soap button to make a huge pile of soap on the floor. So a lot of the teachers had big bottles of hand sanitizer.

The pass thing is bull shit though. I understand a lot of kids want to abuse the privilege, but that’s their problem. Let them miss out and be stupid. It’s not affecting the teacher.

Most of my teachers in middle school had the 30 passes per semester thing...except for my health teacher. We asked her why she didn't have the pass system and she said that its bad for your bladder to have to hold pee, some people have problems and have to go frequently, and that (ladies especially) have issues that they need to take care of periodically.

My guess is that ALL teachers have the ability to write passes for emergencies. If a parent made it known to me that they didn't care how often their child was out of class, I wouldn't have an issue with it. Problem is, most parents do care how their child does in school. If every time the parent asked their child to sit down for dinner with the family, clean their room, cut the lawn, etc., said child went 'potty' then skeetatled of the house, the parents would start questioning the 'request.'

[truthmatters]

This is a very unhealthy practice. You may be young enough now to not feel the effects, but I know an emergency room nurse who suffers terribly from bladder problems. Diagnosis: She would hold her pee too long.
It is normal to void your bladder no less than 6 times per day.

Very true and for this age group and above it is the time when they will start having More bladder issues just because of puberty.

If our schools were smaller they would not be the distance between classes that there are now and kids would have the time to stop and go more frequently. Holding it is not the right answer its just easiest on the staff.

Schools are for our kids. If we refuse to design them for our kids and instead design them for the convenience of corraling the kids then we are not making schools better we are making kids more like sheep. Do we want our next generation to be better sheep or better citizens?

[Kathianne]

Very true and for this age group and above it is the time when they will start having More bladder issues just because of puberty.

If our schools were smaller they would not be the distance between classes that there are now and kids would have the time to stop and go more frequently. Holding it is not the right answer its just easiest on the staff.

Schools are for our kids. If we refuse to design them for our kids and instead design them for the convenience of corraling the kids then we are not making schools better we are making kids more like sheep. Do we want our next generation to be better sheep or better citizens?

I have 27 students in the 6th grade, am I supposed to let them each go potty every day, for each class? Reading and social studies? Do you really want all parent/student input determining the whole school agenda?

[truthmatters]

I have 27 students in the 6th grade, am I supposed to let them each go potty every day, for each class? Reading and social studies? Do you really want all parent/student input determining the whole school agenda?

This is pretty much refering to kids who are changig classes every hour.

I found that when my son ws younger and did not have hourly class changes there was no problem. His teacher had him all day and knew him well enough to tell when he was truely in need and that he was a good honest cooperative kid.

When they start changig class rooms with 30 or so kids to a class the teacher never gets to know them and has so many personalities to deal with its the ones who make trouble who get all the attention and the good kids get near the sme punishment as the troubled kids due to time and population constraints.Most kids now days HATE Jr high and high school. I had to convience my son he would not be treated the same in college to get him to go.

He loves to learn and always has but the atmosphere of a crowded school where you are treated like you are about to commit a crime and that you are untrustworthy is really eating at our kids today.

My experiece with schools were that the teachers for the most part are great people but that the adminstrators Treat both parent and Child like criminals who they just want to shut up an go away. The admin gets payed the big salary which I pay and then they want to act like any problem you have in not worth their time.

If schools were Smaller and I mean High schools and middle schools then we would have fewer big salary admins to pay and the kids would feel like a community rather than sheep. More land to buy but less administrators to pay.

[Kathianne]

This is pretty much refering to kids who are changig classes every hour.

I found that when my son ws younger and did not have hourly class changes there was no problem. His teacher had him all day and knew him well enough to tell when he was truely in need and that he was a good honest cooperative kid.

When they start changig class rooms with 30 or so kids to a class the teacher never gets to know them and has so many personalities to deal with its the ones who make trouble who get all the attention and the good kids get near the sme punishment as the troubled kids due to time and population constraints.Most kids now days HATE Jr high and high school. I had to convience my son he would not be treated the same in college to get him to go.

He loves to learn and always has but the atmosphere of a crowded school where you are treated like you are about to commit a crime and that you are untrustworthy is really eating at our kids today.

My experiece with schools were that the teachers for the most part are great people but that the adminstrators Treat both parent and Child like criminals who they just want to shut up an go away. The admin gets payed the big salary which I pay and then they want to act like any problem you have in not worth their time.

If schools were Smaller and I mean High schools and middle schools then we would have fewer big salary admins to pay and the kids would feel like a community rather than sheep. More land to buy but less administrators to pay.
I hear you. I'm guessing this is your oldest or only. The teachers get this too. They are not supposed to be the enemy, but supporting you and you them. In a way, the school teachers are like a marriage, a united front adds a whole bunch for the kids.

[jackass]

I think its crazy that they have a certain number of passes. But then again...I used to go to my locker..meet g/f walk her to class, meet the boys for a smoke in the bathroom and make it to class close enough to on time w/o getting into any trouble. If I were in school now..and really had to go and was denied..I would get up an just walk out. My kids will know that they will not get in trouble with me if they really had to go.

[Trinity]

Just an aside from a middle school's perspective. He's over 1/2 through the semester and has used half of his passes. In most school's there are bathrooms that may be used during PE, study hall, and lunch room, with only monitor's permission.

Personally I've gotten pretty good at telling when a kid really needs to 'go' and when they just want to 'go for a walk from class', (yes believe it or not, many do want to leave the classroom during direct instruction, then wonder why they are missing so much important information.)

It's true that most of the kids that try to 'walk' are usually hyper, high achieving, low achieving. This is especially true of 6th graders adjusting to middle school. If your son has some sort of condition that renders immediate bathroom privileges, have the pediatrician send a note, he'll be exempted. However, do not expect the teachers to keep track of what he's missing while gone. (Such as when the test is, what homework is, etc. He will be held accountable, even if he was 'out of the room.'

I think I am going to get him to the doctor and see if there is something going on I suspect maybe he has a small bladder because he does seem to use the bathroom quite often and I do recall one of his teachers mentioning it to me last year in the fifth grade.

[Trinity]

I think its crazy that they have a certain number of passes. But then again...I used to go to my locker..meet g/f walk her to class, meet the boys for a smoke in the bathroom and make it to class close enough to on time w/o getting into any trouble. If I were in school now..and really had to go and was denied..I would get up an just walk out. My kids will know that they will not get in trouble with me if they really had to go.

Thats what I told my son if you really have to go and you have no hall passes and the teacher will not let you go, you have two options you either stay in your seat and piss your pants, or you get up and go to the bathroom.

[gabosaurus]

My mom has been an elementary school teacher for two decades. She says that the decline in communication between parents and schools has been on the decline for a while.
For every kid that truly needs to go to the bathroom, there are 10 that just want to get out of class. If your kids has a urination problem, this needs to be addressed by a doctor, not a teacher.
Not to be harsh or unsympathetic. My mom has seen serious medical problems with kids that teachers are supposed to address? Why? Because the parents are "too busy" to take their kids to the doctor. They don't want to take the time off work.
When you study adolescent behavioral psychology, you learn to identify the habits of problem kids. You learn to separate the kids who want to learn, the ones who have problems and the ones who just want to get by.

If you kid has a problem (of any kind), please alert the school. Don't just send your kids to school and expect them to deal with them blindly.

[Trinity]

My mom has been an elementary school teacher for two decades. She says that the decline in communication between parents and schools has been on the decline for a while.
For every kid that truly needs to go to the bathroom, there are 10 that just want to get out of class. If your kids has a urination problem, this needs to be addressed by a doctor, not a teacher.
Not to be harsh or unsympathetic. My mom has seen serious medical problems with kids that teachers are supposed to address? Why? Because the parents are "too busy" to take their kids to the doctor. They don't want to take the time off work.
When you study adolescent behavioral psychology, you learn to identify the habits of problem kids. You learn to separate the kids who want to learn, the ones who have problems and the ones who just want to get by.

If you kid has a problem (of any kind), please alert the school. Don't just send your kids to school and expect them to deal with them blindly.

Yeah I agree. I actually do tend to get as involved with his school as I can, for instance they have this progress report for his school online where I can go and log in and see what homework he has, what his current grades are, days missed, etc. etc. I actually contacted the principal at the beginning of the school year to get my log in info because I had misplaced it. Here was his reply..................

I will forward this onto Mr. Sowash the guidance counselor. He has all
of the information pertaining to progress book. Thank you for taking
the time to track your son's progress. I wish more parents would take
the time, because it takes a team effort to help ensure students will be
successful. If there is anything else that we can do for you or your
son, please don't hesitate to let us know. Thanks,

Joel King
Principal, BMS (edited school info)

[Trinity]

I guess what really pisses me off is the fact that my son is by no way a problem child and no I am not just saying that because he is my son, my youngest thats a whole other ball game, but my 11 year old is a really good kid he gets A's and B's in school he is an extremely sensitive child who is very caring towards other people. I would hate for this type of thing to turn him off towards school.


We actually had another incident about a week ago, he has been having problems with this other boy going around and spreading rumors and basically talking shit to and about my son and it was really bothering my son.

This boy plays on the football team with him and he is a little punk and William was telling me about the kinds of things this boy was saying about him. I asked him if he wanted me to handle it by contacting the school or did he want to handle it and he said he wanted me to send an email to the principal and handle it so i told him I would work on an email and show it to him before I sent it to the Principal, well he went to school the next day and when he got home he told me that he had handled it himself.

I was surprised he said he went and talked to the school counselor and told him what had been going on and the counselor called the other boy in and talked to both of them and the school counselor said that if it continued they would both get suspended from school why? because this other kid was saying that my son was cussing. yep it's very possible especially if he was pretty pissed off at this other boy. My son doesn't cuss for the most part because he is not allowed but he has been known to when he is extremely mad about something.


I was extremely proud of my son when he told me he had handled it himself.:clap: I was like wow that shows me that your are maturing and starting to take care of your own problems with advice from me of course. I think that was a big step towards growing up and being an adult, granting he is only 11 but it was a big step for him, instead of letting mommy handle it.

[Kathianne]

I guess what really pisses me off is the fact that my son is by no way a problem child and no I am not just saying that because he is my son, my youngest thats a whole other ball game, but my 11 year old is a really good kid he gets A's and B's in school he is an extremely sensitive child who is very caring towards other people. I would hate for this type of thing to turn him off towards school.


We actually had another incident about a week ago, he has been having problems with this other boy going around and spreading rumors and basically talking shit to and about my son and it was really bothering my son.

This boy plays on the football team with him and he is a little punk and William was telling me about the kinds of things this boy was saying about him. I asked him if he wanted me to handle it by contacting the school or did he want to handle it and he said he wanted me to send an email to the principal and handle it so i told him I would work on an email and show it to him before I sent it to the Principal, well he went to school the next day and when he got home he told me that he had handled it himself.

I was surprised he said he went and talked to the school counselor and told him what had been going on and the counselor called the other boy in and talked to both of them and the school counselor said that if it continued they would both get suspended from school why? because this other kid was saying that my son was cussing. yep it's very possible especially if he was pretty pissed off at this other boy. My son doesn't cuss for the most part because he is not allowed but he has been known to when he is extremely mad about something.


I was extremely proud of my son when he told me he had handled it himself.:clap: I was like wow that shows me that your are maturing and starting to take care of your own problems with advice from me of course. I think that was a big step towards growing up and being an adult, granting he is only 11 but it was a big step for him, instead of letting mommy handle it.

Bullying is a serious problem in middle school, though more often with girls than boys. He was right to try and handle it himself, good for him. On the other hand, if it continues or escalates, get in to the dean, counselor, or principal.

[Said1]

WOw, we had enough time for a quick smoke between classes. :dance: