jimnyc
06-28-2020, 12:10 PM
So all here pretty much know I'm a dirtbag, and a proud one at that. A professional and successful dirtbag. Hey, own what ya are and make the best of it. :coffee:
So anyway, this song I'm sure many if not most of you have heard before. This is Denis Leary, my eldest brother that I never met. An asshole, and quite proud of it, and owns it like a boss!
I'll post the video with the lyrics underneath. The chorus, similar throughout yet different, is quoted at the very very bottom and stripped out and quoted as they are NSFW. Also - don't play this at work obviously, and don't watch this if easily offended.
But if a non-perfect person such as myself that takes joy out of being a miserable bastard (I kid I kid) and an ugly bastard and filled with a little piss and vinegar as my Mommy used to say.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs
Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub cockle area
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon, we don't know
I'm just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I'm your average white, suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
(Oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
(Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying "how about this heat?"
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
Nah
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
And I'm gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those greaseball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because we've got the bomb, that's why
Two words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we've got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, he's frozen
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer
We're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes
And Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey
And drive down to Texas and
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, such an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's a real fucking asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it
So anyway, this song I'm sure many if not most of you have heard before. This is Denis Leary, my eldest brother that I never met. An asshole, and quite proud of it, and owns it like a boss!
I'll post the video with the lyrics underneath. The chorus, similar throughout yet different, is quoted at the very very bottom and stripped out and quoted as they are NSFW. Also - don't play this at work obviously, and don't watch this if easily offended.
But if a non-perfect person such as myself that takes joy out of being a miserable bastard (I kid I kid) and an ugly bastard and filled with a little piss and vinegar as my Mommy used to say.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs
Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub cockle area
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon, we don't know
I'm just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I'm your average white, suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
(Oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
(Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying "how about this heat?"
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
Nah
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
And I'm gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those greaseball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because we've got the bomb, that's why
Two words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we've got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, he's frozen
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer
We're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes
And Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey
And drive down to Texas and
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, such an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's a real fucking asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it