Trump Installs Ejection Seats Throughout Press Briefing Room

[NightTrain]

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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Trump excitedly unveiled his latest improvements to the White House Press Briefing Room at Monday night's press conference: ejection seats.


Controlled by a panel on Trump's podium, the ejection seats allow him to instantly send any White House reporter on a free trip to somewhere a few hundred yards down Pennsylvania Avenue. Any journalist parroting Chinese propaganda, insulting the president, or asking a question without referring to Trump as "His Majesty Donald Trump May He Live Forever" is likely to get a free flight courtesy of the White House.


"Mr. President, why do you hate AmericaaaaaaaaAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" screamed PBS reporter Yamiche Alcindor as Trump solemnly pressed a button and sent her rocketing through the roof. Stunned journalists stared in shock at their colleague soaring hundreds of feet into the air. They were speechless, which was a "welcome change" according to unnamed sources.


Jim Acosta tried to chime in next, but Trump had already pushed his button before he got any words out. "Looks like Jim Acosta's blasting off agaaaaaaaaain!!!!" the CNN reporter cried as he disappeared through the newly created hole in the White House roof.


"Anyone else?" Trump asked quietly, looking around the room but not seeing any hands go up. "Great. Then we'll end this shindig early. Tremendous job out there, today, journalists. You're all American heroes."

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-installs-ejection-seats-throughout-press-briefing-room

[SassyLady]

I wondered why the briefing was held outside today! LOL!

And, he did threaten to eject one reporter today but then changed tactics and said he would just walk away if the guy didn't shut up. Guy kept talking but the microphone was to far away to hear. And then some idiot female reporter who is bucking for same fame as Acosta asked the same exact question.

I watch the briefings now mainly to see how Trump turns the rudeness right back at them.

[Drummond]

12511


WASHINGTON, D.C.—Trump excitedly unveiled his latest improvements to the White House Press Briefing Room at Monday night's press conference: ejection seats.


Controlled by a panel on Trump's podium, the ejection seats allow him to instantly send any White House reporter on a free trip to somewhere a few hundred yards down Pennsylvania Avenue. Any journalist parroting Chinese propaganda, insulting the president, or asking a question without referring to Trump as "His Majesty Donald Trump May He Live Forever" is likely to get a free flight courtesy of the White House.


"Mr. President, why do you hate AmericaaaaaaaaAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" screamed PBS reporter Yamiche Alcindor as Trump solemnly pressed a button and sent her rocketing through the roof. Stunned journalists stared in shock at their colleague soaring hundreds of feet into the air. They were speechless, which was a "welcome change" according to unnamed sources.


Jim Acosta tried to chime in next, but Trump had already pushed his button before he got any words out. "Looks like Jim Acosta's blasting off agaaaaaaaaain!!!!" the CNN reporter cried as he disappeared through the newly created hole in the White House roof.


"Anyone else?" Trump asked quietly, looking around the room but not seeing any hands go up. "Great. Then we'll end this shindig early. Tremendous job out there, today, journalists. You're all American heroes."

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-installs-ejection-seats-throughout-press-briefing-room:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::laugh2::laugh2: