Hey men

[Abbey Marie]

In light of the “Bam” thread, who or what teaches you to act stoically when you hurt? Both physically and emotionally.
Or is the answer just that you see your Dad acting that way, and emulate him? Does your son do the same?
Or maybe it is just innate?
Why do you feel it is necessary?

[Elessar]

My Dad was a career military Vet.

He saw plenty of my aches and injuries but taught me to suck it
up and keep marching, unless it was something major like when I
split open my ankle with an axe when I was 18. He just said "You dumb Shit"!:laugh:

[Gunny]

In light of the “Bam” thread, who or what teaches you to act stoically when you hurt? Both physically and emotionally.
Or is the answer just that you see your Dad acting that way, and emulate him? Does your son do the same?
Or maybe it is just innate?
Why do you feel it is necessary?
Necessary. Because I'm not a wimp? I grew up in the military and all our dads were war vets still in. They didn't tolerate weakness and neither did we. Weak people get themselves killed and usually take some good people with them. If you are in charge? You start acting all weak and pussyish you'll kill morale and probably half your troops along with it. It just isn't tolerated.

Harsh games with harsh rules require harsh people.

[Kathianne]

Necessary. Because I'm not a wimp? I grew up in the military and all our dads were war vets still in. They didn't tolerate weakness and neither did we. Weak people get themselves killed and usually take some good people with them. If you are in charge? You start acting all weak and pussyish you'll kill morale and probably half your troops along with it. It just isn't tolerated.

Harsh games with harsh rules require harsh people.

Sort of like cooking. I've seriously cut myself twice-throwing on gauze and keep going. Same with burns. Once though, had to go and get 6 stitches in my hand after finishing dinner and dishes and the sucker kept bleeding for some reason. LOL!

[Elessar]

Necessary. Because I'm not a wimp? I grew up in the military and all our dads were war vets still in. They didn't tolerate weakness and neither did we. Weak people get themselves killed and usually take some good people with them. If you are in charge? You start acting all weak and pussyish you'll kill morale and probably half your troops along with it. It just isn't tolerated.

Harsh games with harsh rules require harsh people.


Never more accurate words spoken, something most non-military or
non- first responders do not realize.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

You are stronger when you defeat pain. A man must be able to fight, that means fight the urge to cry out in pain or let pain defeat your purpose, your bravery, your willingness to do what needs to be done. Pain in mos cases is just another obstacle to be overcome.
What I know is if I'd let pain stop me --I would have lost tons of fights.
Losing is not an option unless one is knocked out, dead or totally incapacitated.
Sons are taught this because courage, bravery, duty and oft even life depends upon it..
My father and my grandfather can not be wrong about this.... ---Tyr

[icansayit]

There are many different kinds of pain. Nobody is immune to it. I remember the pain when I first woke up, following my heart surgery. Thank goodness for pain drugs. I remember the three full days following my spinal surgery, at sea, aboard the USNS Comfort, Hospital Ship,
during Operation Desert Storm, in the Persian Gulf....when the pain was so bad; touching the hair on my arms was painful.

Then, there's another kind of pain when you lose your parents, your brothers, and sister. Anyone know what I mean now?

And finally. There's that indescribable Pain felt by EVERY MOTHER. Pain No Man will ever have, or understand.

So, we men are not exempt from feeling pain. And we all know it. Hearing someone like our Father say "Suck it up!" Doesn't take away the pain...when FATHER leaves the room.:laugh::laugh::laugh:

[Gunny]

There are many different kinds of pain. Nobody is immune to it. I remember the pain when I first woke up, following my heart surgery. Thank goodness for pain drugs. I remember the three full days following my spinal surgery, at sea, aboard the USNS Comfort, Hospital Ship,
during Operation Desert Storm, in the Persian Gulf....when the pain was so bad; touching the hair on my arms was painful.

Then, there's another kind of pain when you lose your parents, your brothers, and sister. Anyone know what I mean now?

And finally. There's that indescribable Pain felt by EVERY MOTHER. Pain No Man will ever have, or understand.

So, we men are not exempt from feeling pain. And we all know it. Hearing someone like our Father say "Suck it up!" Doesn't take away the pain...when FATHER leaves the room.:laugh::laugh::laugh:No one can say for another how one registers and/or reacts to pain. This is a spinoff of the one from my taking a spill. My knee hit the tile. It hurt. I posted as much. I said "damn, that hurt". Sat up and my foot lopped into the cat box so after ensuring no cat feces was on my shoes, I looked ath my knee and I made a smartass remark to my granddaughter that it was going to leave a mark. About as matter of factly as it's typed. Speaking solely for me, I just don't show hurt.

Not just because it's considered a "manly weakness" but because it will tell the enemy how to get to you. And when I say "enemy", I mean "people", I have no real other explanation.

[Elessar]

No one can say for another how one registers and/or reacts to pain. This is a spinoff of the one from my taking a spill. My knee hit the tile. It hurt. I posted as much. I said "damn, that hurt". Sat up and my foot lopped into the cat box so after ensuring no cat feces was on my shoes, I looked ath my knee and I made a smartass remark to my granddaughter that it was going to leave a mark. About as matter of factly as it's typed. Speaking solely for me, I just don't show hurt.

Not just because it's considered a "manly weakness" but because it will tell the enemy how to get to you. And when I say "enemy", I mean "people", I have no real other explanation.

I usually say "Ouch. That sucked" with a few other dressings and comments!:laugh:

[Noir]

Societal pressure (which is represented well in some of the above posts ‘I’m not a wimp, I’m strong, that’s weakness’ etc) and the great payoff for these kinds of pressures is male suicide statistics, and death by accident statistics.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

Societal pressure (which is represented well in some of the above posts ‘I’m not a wimp, I’m strong, that’s weakness’ etc) and the great payoff for these kinds of pressures is male suicide statistics, and death by accident statistics.

No the --"payoff" (as you called it) is that people like you have had their freedom/liberties defended by people that believed being strong and defending others requires developing a high resistance to wimping out due to pain.
Seems you attempt to glorify wimping out in males.
This modern day idea that men are to be pansies and all feely touchy, gaylike -- truly sickens me.

No Noir, a man by Nature , nurture and biological design is to be strong, tough and a leader.
That truth and reality must really burst your little bubble, so go ahead -go cry and moan as if a small child.-Tyr

[CSM]

I can only speak for myself. For me, I do indeed feel pain and, depending on circumstances, am not afraid to show it. If the "mission" I am on is critical, I will carry on despite the pain. If it is not, I will tend to whatever wound I now have and then carry on. I have stitched myself up, applied a splint to my own broken leg then walked 3 miles out of the jungle to an extraction point. I have also pulled every muscle in one leg and laid on the couch for two days doing nothing except popping pain pills. Depends on circumstances for me.

I will say, if you are injured in some way, GET IT ATTENDED to as soon as possible. It would be far worse (in my opinion) to be injured and ignore it which in turn could lead to being incapacitated long term. I would much rather take a short time to heal up than spend the rest of my life handicapped in some way if I can avoid it.

I will also say that some of my best cussing comes out over a stubbed toe. If I am REALLY hurt, I tend to remain silent. That's how my kids know I am really hurt... no cussing, maybe a slight groan or two. That's when they worry. If I am cussing a blue streak, they laugh.

[Abbey Marie]

Thanks for the responses. I get that there is a need to be strong and tough in situations when people are looking to you as a leader. Or even to set an example. But why in your own home, say, with your wife? I think this goes beyond situational toughness. My experience is that men of our generation just wouldn’t dream of showing any weakness. The reason(s) for that is what my intellectual curiosity wants to know.

Maybe it’s just not something you can turn on and off like a spigot.
Or to Noir’s point, never discount peer pressure.

[STTAB]

Thanks for the responses. I get that there is a need to be strong and tough in situations when people are looking to you as a leader. Or even to set an example. But why in your own home, say, with your wife? I think this goes beyond situational toughness. My experience is that men of our generation just wouldn’t dream of showing any weakness. The reason(s) for that is what my intellectual curiosity wants to know.

Maybe it’s just not something you can turn on and off like a spigot.
Or to Noir’s point, never discount peer pressure.

Simple, my wife married me in part because she knows that I am a strong man who would never ever let my own personal pain keep me from protecting her and our children.

May as well ask her "why do you still wear makeup and shave your legs girl, he's married you" LOL

[Gunny]

Societal pressure (which is represented well in some of the above posts ‘I’m not a wimp, I’m strong, that’s weakness’ etc) and the great payoff for these kinds of pressures is male suicide statistics, and death by accident statistics.Any more excuses for being a wimp? Just wondering ...

[Gunny]

Thanks for the responses. I get that there is a need to be strong and tough in situations when people are looking to you as a leader. Or even to set an example. But why in your own home, say, with your wife? I think this goes beyond situational toughness. My experience is that men of our generation just wouldn’t dream of showing any weakness. The reason(s) for that is what my intellectual curiosity wants to know.

Maybe it’s just not something you can turn on and off like a spigot.
Or to Noir’s point, never discount peer pressure.I don't recall doing that with my wife. Just the opposite, as a matter of fact. Broke my ankle rock climbing and I sat on the ground and laughed my ass off for a good 10 minutes :laugh: Then again, DO keep in mind I consider women a weakness :)

I think CSM said it best: it depends on the situation.

[STTAB]

I don't recall doing that with my wife. Just the opposite, as a matter of fact. Broke my ankle rock climbing and I sat on the ground and laughed my ass off for a good 10 minutes :laugh: Then again, DO keep in mind I consider women a weakness :)

I think CSM said it best: it depends on the situation.


I just don't react to pain externally. Karate men bleed on the inside .

Bonus points if anyone gets that movie reference.

[Noir]

12156

Saw this and thought of this thread - everywhere and at all times the fear of a man ‘being seen as a wimp’ flows through our culture, even in the most highly choreographed example of a film set.

[CSM]

12156

Saw this and thought of this thread - everywhere and at all times the fear of a man ‘being seen as a wimp’ flows through our culture, even in the most highly choreographed example of a film set.

Yeah, because PRETENDING to be a bad ass is EXACTLY like actually BEING a bad ass! There is a big difference between horsing around for entertainment purposes and having to be a bit tough because other's lives depend on you...

[Noir]

Yeah, because PRETENDING to be a bad ass is EXACTLY like actually BEING a bad ass! There is a big difference between horsing around for entertainment purposes and having to be a bit tough because other's lives depend on you...

The point is that the culture regarding being “tough” is to a point where some people (like those in the tweet) don’t even want to portray a character that might not be as tough as those around them.

Somewhere amid all the fakery is a very real insight into the mentality of ‘not being seen to be a wimp’

[CSM]

The point is that the culture regarding being “tough” is to a point where some people (like those in the tweet) don’t even want to portray a character that might not be as tough as those around them.

Somewhere amid all the fakery is a very real insight into the mentality of ‘not being seen to be a wimp’

Oh I get it.... being "masculine" in this day and age is a bad thing. Having any bit of "toughness" is a bad thing. Being white male is even worse.

Tough times gives us tough men. Tough men bring us better times. Better times gives us softer men. Softer men bring us tough times. Funny how that works.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

The point is that the culture regarding being “tough” is to a point where some people (like those in the tweet) don’t even want to portray a character that might not be as tough as those around them.

Somewhere amid all the fakery is a very real insight into the mentality of ‘not being seen to be a wimp’

Noir, as you in your liberal ideology attempt to vilify men being tough, you sit safely and comfortably in your space now because others sacrificed, died and were injured defending that peace you have not enough awareness to truly appreciate.
A sad sad, case you are--brainwashed and so proud to be a wimp......
Toughness is an admirable character asset when its used to defend others and maintain peace and freedom.
That you belittle it, speaks volumes to so many of us, that know just how very, very important that it truly is.
Keeping the wolves at bay-- never enters a liberal's mind, as their fantasy world clouds any logical and realistic thinking. --Tyr

[STTAB]

12156

Saw this and thought of this thread - everywhere and at all times the fear of a man ‘being seen as a wimp’ flows through our culture, even in the most highly choreographed example of a film set.

Those are all cases of an ACTOR protecting their BRAND Noir and have nothing to do with this topic at all. If Vin Diesel's brand were "the guy who gets beat up" would that mean he advocated men getting beaten up? Of course not. It's called FICTION>

[High_Plains_Drifter]

The point is that the culture regarding being “tough” is to a point where some people (like those in the tweet) don’t even want to portray a character that might not be as tough as those around them.

Somewhere amid all the fakery is a very real insight into the mentality of ‘not being seen to be a wimp’
There's a low testosterone little sissy right there - - - ^ ^ ^

If I bang myself pretty good, which comes with the territory of the careers I've had in my life, I usually just pop off a quick, "SON OF A BITCH," and then press on. If it's something that's not that bad I usually say something sarcastic like, "oh sure, bang my head, that's exactly what I needed to do." In any case, it just doesn't do any good or make pain go away to act like a baby. I've had my throat cut open and a nickel sized hole drilled in my cervical spine, and now 4 of my 7 cervical vertebra are one piece. I've had a stainless steel tube about the size of your little finger, yeah, a lung drain, shoved right through my ribs into my right lung while I was awake, and later had that lung cut open. They nearly hacked me in two, yeah, that hurt, for a long time. But, whatever, man up, it hurts, screw it, press on.

[Noir]

Oh I get it.... being "masculine" in this day and age is a bad thing. Having any bit of "toughness" is a bad thing. Being white male is even worse.

Tough times gives us tough men. Tough men bring us better times. Better times gives us softer men. Softer men bring us tough times. Funny how that works.

You must be the fourth person in as many weeks I have heard say ‘tough times tough men means soft times soft men...etc’ idk what the credit is to that soundbite but it has clearly been very successful in spreading.

As as per your first point, not everything that is masculine is bad, but look at some of the replies in this thread, the negatives are right on show in post after post.

[CSM]

You must be the fourth person in as many weeks I have heard say ‘tough times tough men means soft times soft men...etc’ idk what the credit is to that soundbite but it has clearly been very successful in spreading.

As as per your first point, not everything that is masculine is bad, but look at some of the replies in this thread, the negatives are right on show in post after post.

The "negatives" indicate (at least to me) that some do not agree with your opinion. As to the soundbite, I heard that long, long ago so it's not new.

[STTAB]

You must be the fourth person in as many weeks I have heard say ‘tough times tough men means soft times soft men...etc’ idk what the credit is to that soundbite but it has clearly been very successful in spreading.

As as per your first point, not everything that is masculine is bad, but look at some of the replies in this thread, the negatives are right on show in post after post.

Because generally speaking that saying is true.

Compare 18 year olds from 1941 to 18 year old today.

There's not doubt that today's 18 year olds are pussies compared to their grandfathers.

[Noir]

The "negatives" indicate (at least to me) that some do not agree with your opinion. As to the soundbite, I heard that long, long ago so it's not new.


Because generally speaking that saying is true.

Compare 18 year olds from 1941 to 18 year old today.

There's not doubt that today's 18 year olds are pussies compared to their grandfathers.

Fair enough - seem just to be happenstance that I’ve heard it almost word for word several times in the last few weeks.

[Kathianne]

I'm for men acting like men, not acting like hormone raging adolescents and most are like the former. No one thinks that breaking into fights or getting in people's faces for the slightest perceived disrespect is ok. I've never been attracted to the type of man that tells me what I should like or what I should do. (Yeah, I know. I. hide. that. well.)

However, there are many things that make men and women different, I enjoy those differences. At 5'1" many things are out of my reach. LOL! With few exceptions, even 'short' men are 5'5" and that helps! Upper body strength is something most women lack compared to most men. Surprising how often that difference comes into play during times of danger. Think of major flooding and the men that are able to carry women and children and exhausted men through raging waters. Those that are able to pull someone into a boat or even push them into a boat when they, themselves are in the water. Yes, women would do so too, if they are able. Most are not.

What pisses me off about the whole 'toxic masculinity' or 'getting in touch with the feminine side' is that it's telling men, even more importantly boys, that they are naturally bad. They are not. Yes, we've left the hunting and gathering stage, most of the time; yet, it is wrong to tell men or boys to 'sit still' like women/girls, every bit as much as it has been wrong to tell women that they are anti-feminist if they choose to stay home or care more for their family than career.

Some examples of why 'masculinity' is not something to denigrate:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/good-news/a-6-year-old-was-swept-out-to-sea-and-a-group-of-brothers-dove-in-after-her/ar-AAEQGV3?ocid=sf

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7265863/Three-teens-push-womans-broken-car-FIVE-MILES.html

https://www.wbir.com/article/news/he-did-everything-a-dad-is-supposed-to-do-maryville-family-mourns-father-who-drowned-after-saving-daughters-in-florida/51-7ba9b36c-a6cb-4953-bbcb-db4c79828829

https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/08/us/uncle-saves-niece-from-fire-trnd/index.html

Just from the last couple of weeks.

[Abbey Marie]

This thread took a bit of a turn, as threads will do. But last night the original point of the thread came roaring back to life.

We have a raccoon that visits our very unfinished attic/crawl space. Before we exactly knew what was up there, our exterminator set large spring traps, to catch squirrels I think.

Up the ladder goes Russ to bring down a suitcase for our upcoming vacation. I can hear the ladder and the trap door open.

A minute later he comes in the bedroom to use the master bath sink. Quietly. Calmly.

Our daughter comes in and nervously asks if he is ok. I say, “He’s fine, why?”.
She answers, “One of the traps snapped on his finger”.

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

This is exactly what I was asking about. No other men around. No small children. No enemies. No need to set an example, or hide any “weakness”. Just his wife and daughter. Yet, you wouldn’t even know he was hurt. I appreciate all of your answers, but I still am not hearing why men feel the need to be so stoic when there seems to be no need to. Right or wrong, the closest to an answer I saw was Noir’s answer, whose argument I think basically boiled down to societal/peer pressure, with a touch of anti-machismo. I think it goes deeper than that, but it’s just a guess.

I do agree with Kathianne- I like you guys pretty much the way you are (less crudeness might be nice) and I am definitely not criticizing. But that was is not the original point. It is just my nature to try to understand why people act the way they do. I find it fascinating.

[STTAB]

I'm for men acting like men, not acting like hormone raging adolescents and most are like the former. No one thinks that breaking into fights or getting in people's faces for the slightest perceived disrespect is ok. I've never been attracted to the type of man that tells me what I should like or what I should do. (Yeah, I know. I. hide. that. well.)

However, there are many things that make men and women different, I enjoy those differences. At 5'1" many things are out of my reach. LOL! With few exceptions, even 'short' men are 5'5" and that helps! Upper body strength is something most women lack compared to most men. Surprising how often that difference comes into play during times of danger. Think of major flooding and the men that are able to carry women and children and exhausted men through raging waters. Those that are able to pull someone into a boat or even push them into a boat when they, themselves are in the water. Yes, women would do so too, if they are able. Most are not.

What pisses me off about the whole 'toxic masculinity' or 'getting in touch with the feminine side' is that it's telling men, even more importantly boys, that they are naturally bad. They are not. Yes, we've left the hunting and gathering stage, most of the time; yet, it is wrong to tell men or boys to 'sit still' like women/girls, every bit as much as it has been wrong to tell women that they are anti-feminist if they choose to stay home or care more for their family than career.

Some examples of why 'masculinity' is not something to denigrate:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/good-news/a-6-year-old-was-swept-out-to-sea-and-a-group-of-brothers-dove-in-after-her/ar-AAEQGV3?ocid=sf

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7265863/Three-teens-push-womans-broken-car-FIVE-MILES.html

https://www.wbir.com/article/news/he-did-everything-a-dad-is-supposed-to-do-maryville-family-mourns-father-who-drowned-after-saving-daughters-in-florida/51-7ba9b36c-a6cb-4953-bbcb-db4c79828829

https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/08/us/uncle-saves-niece-from-fire-trnd/index.html

Just from the last couple of weeks.

My wife and I met because I stepped in when her at the time boyfriend was beating on her in public. If I hadn't been "masculine" well A) who knows what that guy would have done to her and B) I wouldn't have met the most perfect woman in existence

[High_Plains_Drifter]

I'm for men acting like men, not acting like hormone raging adolescents and most are like the former. No one thinks that breaking into fights or getting in people's faces for the slightest perceived disrespect is ok. I've never been attracted to the type of man that tells me what I should like or what I should do. (Yeah, I know. I. hide. that. well.)
------------------- http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/animated-laughing-smiley-emoticon.gif (http://www.sherv.net/)

[Kathianne]

------------------- http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/animated-laughing-smiley-emoticon.gif (http://www.sherv.net/)

I know. I do enjoy that.

[High_Plains_Drifter]

I know. I do enjoy that.
You made a good funny... tickled my funny bone... :laugh:

[Abbey Marie]

Anything new to add, or anyone else want to chime in?
@NightTrain (http://www.debatepolicy.com/member.php?u=89) ?
@Evmetro (http://www.debatepolicy.com/member.php?u=4145) ?
@jimnyc (http://www.debatepolicy.com/member.php?u=1) ?
Black Diamond ?

[Black Diamond]

I just don't react to pain externally. Karate men bleed on the inside .

Bonus points if anyone gets that movie reference.

Trading places

[jimnyc]

In light of the “Bam” thread, who or what teaches you to act stoically when you hurt? Both physically and emotionally.
Or is the answer just that you see your Dad acting that way, and emulate him? Does your son do the same?
Or maybe it is just innate?
Why do you feel it is necessary?

Damn, thread is a year old and I'm just seeing it now! :laugh:

To me, the answer is a time and a place, and that it all depends.

I'll fight anyone if I have to, and turn psycho before I lose. I'm a daredevil and do many things that may put me in danger, and I love it! If it hurts me, so be it. I'll face a lot of fearful things in the face, and then take any consequences.

But then again, I shut my car door on my finger once, and holy hell it nearly made my cry like a bitch! Same when I broke my wrist. Migraines put me down more than anything, easily in tears and head throbbing and me punching my fist through a wall. I'll throw up, lay in tears and fall asleep like that and wake up fine. I honestly don't always do well with pain, but if my adrenaline is running, in a fight, nothing hurts.

Now emotional pain? Simply wasn't born to deal with it. Deaths simply destroy me inside. I readily admit that. Some emotional things that happen will draw the depression and/or tears out of me, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. - Used to cry year after year after year when Frosty the Snowman melted in the greenhouse, or when they couldn't find poor Rudolph. :laugh:

Or when Rick NightTrain introduced me to Alaskan bees and one of them fuc*$%s bit my forehead, and the little bitch came out again, I danced a jig and ran all the way to the cabin!! LOL

So I'm not good dealing with pain - but if the situation is angering to me, and my emotions pour out, it will often turn to anger and the pain goes away and Dr. Jekkyl comes out for a fight.

[Gunny]

I didn't pay attention as well as I should have first time around. IMO, there is no answer. Genetics? Minus the left and MSM stating otherwise, men are men. The rest is making excuses for those who are not.

Environment. We were raised to be men. Most of us are old enough to remember when that was the case and not "toxic masculinity".

Abbey asked why do we feel we need to ACT that way? That I know if, it's not an act. I don't think about my reaction to pain. There's no script.

Basics: Fight or flight. Is a woman going to choose as her mate the pansy that runs off/hides, or the guy who says you aren't taking my stuff. Which, women were smart enough to realize if they hid behind the guy's stuff, they'd be protected. They are going to choose the mate that can give them strong children and provide for and protect them. That's just nature. It isn't about men being stronger than women either. It's about knowing your role. Life's prime directive is procreation of the species, and survival of the species.

How the evolution from the basic to current behavior came about has however many years Man has walked the Earth as an answer. The strong stay alive and the weak die.

Our current political environment is in denial of the prime directive because wherever the strong flourish, the rats scurry right along behind and steal everything (a country) while the strong are too busying protecting it and them to notice. Until you have a place where children get to choose their gender:rolleyes: That isn't natural and they are going to die just about the time they get rid of the strong protecting them. They're just not smart enough to figure that out.

One thing I know for sure is if you lead by example and show weakness, those being led will do the same. In the World I grew up in and made my profession in, you could likely get away with crapping your pants before you would one little whimper. Weakness was not allowed to be shown by our war vet fathers, and we as kids didn't allow it in ourselves. It isn't "trying to be like our fathers". That sounds cheap. We are our fathers' sons and products of his environment as the male in the family to look to for guidance. That could mean emulating him OR trying your best to not be like him and everything in between.

I don't see anything toxic about it taken for what it is. It's logical. I can sit here and cry about my boo boo or I can wrap the SOB up and get on with it. What do we as humans do when we fall down? Most get back up and move on.

I consider injury a nuisance more than painful. Injuries get between me and where I'm going and THAT just won't do :)

[SassyLady]

Just my observation from being married to 2 warriors ...

Most men are mission focused ... whether it is getting something out of attic (Russ), taking out trash, building a treehouse, saving someone or something. Mission first .... then deal with pain. Also, most men feel one of their missions is to protect ... it's in their DNA and that means protecting the psyche of those they love and care about. Our worrying about their pain throws them off mission.

Just my thoughts on subject.

[Evmetro]

I have an unusual emotional characteristic that blocks me from showing emotion. I have never raised my voice other than to report my number in my boot camp company, and I rarely am seeing laughing. Although I feel the full range of emotions, I can't get them to show up on my face or in my voice. Typical stoicism was still socialized in as well, but it is moot.

[NightTrain]

In light of the “Bam” thread, who or what teaches you to act stoically when you hurt? Both physically and emotionally.

You know, I don't know. I think as males we're taught at a very young age to 'walk it off', where it's okay to cry if you're a girl to an extent. It's not seemly for a man to whine and complain and most men look down on those that do... for that matter, I don't like being around anyone like that - male or female.


Or is the answer just that you see your Dad acting that way, and emulate him? Does your son do the same?
Or maybe it is just innate?

Yeah, my Dad definitely was tough and taught us boys to be tough... you didn't get much sympathy unless it was legit like a broken leg or a finger halfway cut off.

Yes, my son does the same. Looking back, I do remember telling him not to be a drama queen when he was hurt and it was clear to me that he was overreacting... I did push him into behaving with more stoicism like most fathers.


Why do you feel it is necessary?

I think Gunny has the correct answer. Toughness begets toughness, courage begets courage. Those are necessary qualities in a man.

[icansayit]

Speaking for my own era and age. One of the first things we learned as boys, then young men from our Fathers, Teachers, and Ministers was that we always pay the Most Respect to All Women, Girls, Ladies, and girlfriends in school, or down the block.

Then we learned...it was Our Primary job in life to Protect all of the Women, Girls, Ladies, Girlfriends, Mothers, Sisters, Aunts and anyone else...NO MATTER what they were.

Personally. I still feel that way and continue to practice those lessons, as I always try to do here on DP to all of the Ladies.

On the other hand. I draw a line and lose my Machoness (whatever I have left) when I hear any member of the FEMALE gender using GARBAGE, TRASH, STREET, UNLADY LIKE language because I instantly LOSE any respect for anyone willing to demonstrate how LOW their mentality, and self-respect really is.
How's that?

[Gunny]

Speaking for my own era and age. One of the first things we learned as boys, then young men from our Fathers, Teachers, and Ministers was that we always pay the Most Respect to All Women, Girls, Ladies, and girlfriends in school, or down the block.

Then we learned...it was Our Primary job in life to Protect all of the Women, Girls, Ladies, Girlfriends, Mothers, Sisters, Aunts and anyone else...NO MATTER what they were.

Personally. I still feel that way and continue to practice those lessons, as I always try to do here on DP to all of the Ladies.

On the other hand. I draw a line and lose my Machoness (whatever I have left) when I hear any member of the FEMALE gender using GARBAGE, TRASH, STREET, UNLADY LIKE language because I instantly LOSE any respect for anyone willing to demonstrate how LOW their mentality, and self-respect really is.
How's that?I agree. Was taught the same.