Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
07-26-2019, 03:41 PM
Below is the poem I posted at my home poetry site. It includes Jim's free verse poem and then my poem inspired by reading that free verse poem and my own sad loss. Also shown are the comments made by top poets at my home poetry site.
And Jim's heartfelt poem rated very high, especially so for a new poet, as these comments reveal.
Thanks Jim for giving me permission to post here , my new poem along with yours and the comments made so far......
I see that all poets replied that your poem showed talent and a promising path in poetry if you so choose to continue writing.
In fact, your poem has received great accolades for a first poem and got very impressive comments too. -Tyr
James R.
Free verse, 7-21-2019
Title- My Lost Friend
Robert J. Lindley
Free verse, 7-25- 2019
Title- The Gems That Are Precious Memories
( What Living Has Taught )
My Lost Friend
Where have you been, where have you gone
it is been a long time, as if it were yesterday
time goes by but it is still today
that feeling, that bond, it doesn't just go away
time stays still and it is still today
why did you have to go away?
just when we were growing up
finally learning what life and friends were all about
hitting the streets and showing out, what we were all about
that's when things ended, never saw you again
people thought we were no longer friends
not understanding what it means to go away
cannot function without, also cannot dictate what this is all about
for you see, my friend, when you went away
most underestimated what that meant
not just a loss, but a major life event
one that is endless torment
I know where you went, my best friend
but the heart is always meant to mend
but it won't, so this must be the end
I cannot say goodbye, can't let you go
heart won't let me, and who am I
to be one, to even try
for I want to cry, desire to cry
want to be sad, that is my right
want to be with you, think of you every night
I hate to say the words
dealing with death is too hard
it has truly left me scarred
Pop Pop, Grandma, Mom, and even you
its an endless feeling of being blue
being without you
its tough to deal
impossible to heal
emotions still raw
no one truly knows how I feel
That's ok though, as my friend you'll see
Someday, there's a place for me
for all of us, be together again
and that will be the end of the pain
James R.
Free verse, 7-21-2019
*************************************************
The Gems That Are Precious Memories
I lost that which life could never replace
God knows I tried and always failed
no amount of effort could victory gain
no treasure could your loss, this heart heal
All those years, my how fast away they flew
all those experiences and still missing you
yes you had that very special place,
that all encompassing glow,
your smile could all my worries thus ease
Now that time and age has weathered me so
my heart finds its beats return to you
to those years you cared for me and gave all
never worrying about how much it would cost.
always in my corner cheering me on
As I see that last sunset and its fading rays
your radiant face comes and words then flow
begging me to stay steady,
to my course keep on track
and in my destiny know my life has meaning
your words sent to help and to heal
your love and tender heart saving balm
that tells me, a mother's love is infinitely real
Robert J. Lindley
Free verse, 7-25- 2019
( What Living Has Taught )
Note: See above...
Copyright © Robert Lindley | Year Posted 2019
Post Comments made thus far...
Kurt Ravidas
Date: 7/26/2019 10:37:00 AM
My congrats to James on his first published poem. My respect to Robert as a patron and a friend) P.S.: Poetry is not a question to right or not to right. As I said before, a person has no choice. If you're writing a poem, it only means that it's time for the poem to come into the world. Its birth does not depend on the reader's approval or disapproval. Every poem will find a place on the bookshelf of God.
Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/26/2019 8:36:00 AM
Losing someone is devastating but those feelings have been captured well in your verse, I am surprised that it is your first attempt at poetry and would urge you to continue, join us here on soup and if you need advice there are many on here to help you, that said there is no finer poet to seek advice from than Robert.
Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/26/2019 8:38:00 AM
A lovely verse Robert in dedication to a mothers love, what they give us is priceless. Tom.
Buhagiar Avatar
Victor Buhagiar
Date: 7/26/2019 3:06:00 AM
Your personal poem is great, but that's to be expected. Your friend's poem is well written considering it's his first attempt. Lost love is always a favourite subject. He should read many poems and study their build up. He will make a great poem.
Reply
Nicole Avatar
Brandy Nicole
Date: 7/25/2019 9:34:00 PM
James, you have created such an emotional poem. These words from the heart. I can feel every moment, every emotion. The ache within, the pain. Losing a friend and never seeing them again, it is like death. In a sense. You have talent. Keep your ink flowing my friend. Thank you for sharing. My best to you. Robert, you are an inspiration. ~ Brandy
Reply
Barden Avatar
Gregory R Barden
Date: 7/25/2019 7:48:00 PM
Robert - a wonderful write, My Brother, and a great inspired piece from your friend ... there is but ONE force in this Universe that transcends time, gravity, dimensions, anything that comes against it - LOVE - and you have both touched on this quite effectively and memorably, and I'm adding these two to my favorites. Great stuff, and thanks for sharing! Keep up the great work - I hope James considers joining - he'll have a great mentor in you, and the encouragement of the rest of us. Blessings!
Reply
Barden Avatar
Gregory R Barden
Date: 7/25/2019 7:44:00 PM
James R. - This is a nice piece, raw but very honest, and that always comes across powerfully ... you're also writing for the best reason, (IMHO), catharsis, healing, or at least putting difficult emotions into words. I've only been writing a couple of years, but that's why I started, and I have found SO much healing with poetry, so much catharsis and strength and victory over the darkness, (which tries to swallow me often) ... keep writing, and consider The Soup - it's great place for learning!
Reply
Michael Avatar
Arturo Michael
Date: 7/25/2019 7:35:00 PM
Only one love like a mother's love...Lovely expressions permeate this write...and your fellow poet is on his way...may he write forever more...
Reply
Wanter Avatar
Sunlite Wanter
Date: 7/25/2019 6:26:00 PM
I think your friend should continue writing - I believe he has an innate talent of expression.
Reply
Hobo Avatar
Word Hobo
Date: 7/25/2019 5:53:00 PM
Congratulations James on writing your first poem. It reads as though it were a deeply personal piece. Tightening up your verses would make your thoughts even more effective. Well Done! You are fortunate to have such a gifted poet like Robert to guide your poetic journey.
Reply
De Beaulieu Avatar
Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 7/25/2019 5:33:00 PM
Hello Robert, this poem has meaning. I lkie the last verse the best. Have a nice evening my friend.
Reply
De Beaulieu Avatar
Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 7/25/2019 5:28:00 PM
Hello Robert and James R. James for your very first poem you did very well. Friends comes and goes. If your friend had to move elsewhere, he could keep in touch with you. I say Keep on writing. you did very well with this poem. i would like to read another of your poetry. So create another poem. Have a nice evening my friend.
Reply
Warrior Avatar
Winged Warrior
Date: 7/25/2019 5:24:00 PM
Great first attempt my friend James R...you have great potential...a bit rough on the edges, but hey even my first attempt was very rough...the pencil needs to be sharpened a bit lol...but you know you have a fine mentor, maybe one of the best in the poetic field...that said...a very emotive and heartfelt verse...and a gem from my poetic brother R.L. might think of becoming a member...there are some loonies here lol...but more beautiful people as well...sending words of encouragement...^WW^ :o)
And Jim's heartfelt poem rated very high, especially so for a new poet, as these comments reveal.
Thanks Jim for giving me permission to post here , my new poem along with yours and the comments made so far......
I see that all poets replied that your poem showed talent and a promising path in poetry if you so choose to continue writing.
In fact, your poem has received great accolades for a first poem and got very impressive comments too. -Tyr
James R.
Free verse, 7-21-2019
Title- My Lost Friend
Robert J. Lindley
Free verse, 7-25- 2019
Title- The Gems That Are Precious Memories
( What Living Has Taught )
My Lost Friend
Where have you been, where have you gone
it is been a long time, as if it were yesterday
time goes by but it is still today
that feeling, that bond, it doesn't just go away
time stays still and it is still today
why did you have to go away?
just when we were growing up
finally learning what life and friends were all about
hitting the streets and showing out, what we were all about
that's when things ended, never saw you again
people thought we were no longer friends
not understanding what it means to go away
cannot function without, also cannot dictate what this is all about
for you see, my friend, when you went away
most underestimated what that meant
not just a loss, but a major life event
one that is endless torment
I know where you went, my best friend
but the heart is always meant to mend
but it won't, so this must be the end
I cannot say goodbye, can't let you go
heart won't let me, and who am I
to be one, to even try
for I want to cry, desire to cry
want to be sad, that is my right
want to be with you, think of you every night
I hate to say the words
dealing with death is too hard
it has truly left me scarred
Pop Pop, Grandma, Mom, and even you
its an endless feeling of being blue
being without you
its tough to deal
impossible to heal
emotions still raw
no one truly knows how I feel
That's ok though, as my friend you'll see
Someday, there's a place for me
for all of us, be together again
and that will be the end of the pain
James R.
Free verse, 7-21-2019
*************************************************
The Gems That Are Precious Memories
I lost that which life could never replace
God knows I tried and always failed
no amount of effort could victory gain
no treasure could your loss, this heart heal
All those years, my how fast away they flew
all those experiences and still missing you
yes you had that very special place,
that all encompassing glow,
your smile could all my worries thus ease
Now that time and age has weathered me so
my heart finds its beats return to you
to those years you cared for me and gave all
never worrying about how much it would cost.
always in my corner cheering me on
As I see that last sunset and its fading rays
your radiant face comes and words then flow
begging me to stay steady,
to my course keep on track
and in my destiny know my life has meaning
your words sent to help and to heal
your love and tender heart saving balm
that tells me, a mother's love is infinitely real
Robert J. Lindley
Free verse, 7-25- 2019
( What Living Has Taught )
Note: See above...
Copyright © Robert Lindley | Year Posted 2019
Post Comments made thus far...
Kurt Ravidas
Date: 7/26/2019 10:37:00 AM
My congrats to James on his first published poem. My respect to Robert as a patron and a friend) P.S.: Poetry is not a question to right or not to right. As I said before, a person has no choice. If you're writing a poem, it only means that it's time for the poem to come into the world. Its birth does not depend on the reader's approval or disapproval. Every poem will find a place on the bookshelf of God.
Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/26/2019 8:36:00 AM
Losing someone is devastating but those feelings have been captured well in your verse, I am surprised that it is your first attempt at poetry and would urge you to continue, join us here on soup and if you need advice there are many on here to help you, that said there is no finer poet to seek advice from than Robert.
Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/26/2019 8:38:00 AM
A lovely verse Robert in dedication to a mothers love, what they give us is priceless. Tom.
Buhagiar Avatar
Victor Buhagiar
Date: 7/26/2019 3:06:00 AM
Your personal poem is great, but that's to be expected. Your friend's poem is well written considering it's his first attempt. Lost love is always a favourite subject. He should read many poems and study their build up. He will make a great poem.
Reply
Nicole Avatar
Brandy Nicole
Date: 7/25/2019 9:34:00 PM
James, you have created such an emotional poem. These words from the heart. I can feel every moment, every emotion. The ache within, the pain. Losing a friend and never seeing them again, it is like death. In a sense. You have talent. Keep your ink flowing my friend. Thank you for sharing. My best to you. Robert, you are an inspiration. ~ Brandy
Reply
Barden Avatar
Gregory R Barden
Date: 7/25/2019 7:48:00 PM
Robert - a wonderful write, My Brother, and a great inspired piece from your friend ... there is but ONE force in this Universe that transcends time, gravity, dimensions, anything that comes against it - LOVE - and you have both touched on this quite effectively and memorably, and I'm adding these two to my favorites. Great stuff, and thanks for sharing! Keep up the great work - I hope James considers joining - he'll have a great mentor in you, and the encouragement of the rest of us. Blessings!
Reply
Barden Avatar
Gregory R Barden
Date: 7/25/2019 7:44:00 PM
James R. - This is a nice piece, raw but very honest, and that always comes across powerfully ... you're also writing for the best reason, (IMHO), catharsis, healing, or at least putting difficult emotions into words. I've only been writing a couple of years, but that's why I started, and I have found SO much healing with poetry, so much catharsis and strength and victory over the darkness, (which tries to swallow me often) ... keep writing, and consider The Soup - it's great place for learning!
Reply
Michael Avatar
Arturo Michael
Date: 7/25/2019 7:35:00 PM
Only one love like a mother's love...Lovely expressions permeate this write...and your fellow poet is on his way...may he write forever more...
Reply
Wanter Avatar
Sunlite Wanter
Date: 7/25/2019 6:26:00 PM
I think your friend should continue writing - I believe he has an innate talent of expression.
Reply
Hobo Avatar
Word Hobo
Date: 7/25/2019 5:53:00 PM
Congratulations James on writing your first poem. It reads as though it were a deeply personal piece. Tightening up your verses would make your thoughts even more effective. Well Done! You are fortunate to have such a gifted poet like Robert to guide your poetic journey.
Reply
De Beaulieu Avatar
Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 7/25/2019 5:33:00 PM
Hello Robert, this poem has meaning. I lkie the last verse the best. Have a nice evening my friend.
Reply
De Beaulieu Avatar
Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 7/25/2019 5:28:00 PM
Hello Robert and James R. James for your very first poem you did very well. Friends comes and goes. If your friend had to move elsewhere, he could keep in touch with you. I say Keep on writing. you did very well with this poem. i would like to read another of your poetry. So create another poem. Have a nice evening my friend.
Reply
Warrior Avatar
Winged Warrior
Date: 7/25/2019 5:24:00 PM
Great first attempt my friend James R...you have great potential...a bit rough on the edges, but hey even my first attempt was very rough...the pencil needs to be sharpened a bit lol...but you know you have a fine mentor, maybe one of the best in the poetic field...that said...a very emotive and heartfelt verse...and a gem from my poetic brother R.L. might think of becoming a member...there are some loonies here lol...but more beautiful people as well...sending words of encouragement...^WW^ :o)