Sometimes I hate change

[darin]

Today is my final day working in the office i've been in since October of 2015. Monday I report to a new location about 20 minutes from my house. This place is 3 miles from where I live. I'm frustrated a lot. I keep thinking "Well...this is probably the last time in my life I will walk down these stairs..." or "So weird to think I may never see that tree again, ever - 100 years from now that tree will likely be there and I'll be dead and gone."

I dont know what drives that within me, however - it's like every change the loss of what I'm leaving outweighs the excitement of what's next. Even when I'm leaving something less than ideal, I feel the "never again will I" blues.


Anyone else, or am I that weird?

[pete311]

Anyone else, or am I that weird?

It's just called getting older ;)

[darin]

It's just called getting older ;)

Ouch. But I suspect you're on to something. I wonder if its my sense of my mortality that fuels this. Thanks. :)

[Elessar]

The last time I went out the gate at CG Sector Humboldt Bay when I retired
made me wonder if I had done the right thing.

Lots of memories in that place, and the CG as well.

[pete311]

Ouch. But I suspect you're on to something. I wonder if its my sense of my mortality that fuels this. Thanks. :)

That is what I was getting at. Not an "ouch", we all will/are going through it too. Getting old is not for wussies! That is why when I meet people in their 80s and 90s+ I am amazed and honored to meet them. It's a mental, physical and emotional challenge to make it that far.

[High_Plains_Drifter]

You can never go back.

I'll stand at the microwave and watch the countdown timer as it heats something up and think, that second that just ticked by is gone forever, even though it's just seconds ago, it's gone forever.

I get the same kinda feelings you do, Darin, but in a different way. If I visit a place I've been in the past that I have many memories of, like an old childhood home, especially, I get a real strange feeling of being a person lost out of time, that all the happiness and the people that used to be there that are gone aren't there anymore, and I don't belong there anymore either, I'm in the wrong space in time and it gives me a very odd almost queasy feeling, and it's intense. Seems as though what you're feeling sounds almost like a precursor to what I described.

[Abbey Marie]

I really don’t think it’s age-related. I have always been that way. It’s IMO a function of looking at the bigger picture rather than just the current details of your life. And also a touch of sentimentality. These are the things that make great novelists and lyricists.

ETA: and poets!

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

You can not go back to the past. You may visit on memory but never go back.
At one point in time if one lives long enough and is a true thinker they understand their best days are gone forever and a short future lies ahead.
I write a lot about my past, about a third of my poems are dealing with those memories, be they good, bad , or imaginative.
Thing is, when I write about them, I reconnect and get a better visual image than if I just think about them.
I was born the mid-50's and I would gladly go back to my mid-teens in the late 60's if that was possible.
Father died in 1969, after that, for the following 18 years were hell, wild crazy, and walking a blind path...
The old saying, ""Old age sucks, then you die",, has some measure of truth in it.
Losing one's youthful energy, great strength and zest for life -old age- takes a toll.....
Yet surviving is built in deep with some of us..
Dying is just a part of living--but I am not in a hurry to get there...-Tyr

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

I really don’t think it’s age-related. I have always been that way. It’s IMO a function of looking at the bigger picture rather than just the current details of your life. And also a touch of sentimentality. These are the things that make great novelists and lyricists.

ETA: and poets!

RIGHT YOU ARE..
Primary thing is the looking at the BIGGER PICTURE. One must always look at and plan for the future.
LIVING IN THE PAST OR THE HERE AND NOW BOTH HAVE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY NEGATIVES.
Remembering the past is very important-whereas trying to live in it is not.
History is a very great teacher--it is what tells us not to do those mistakes again..
A reason that true history is no longer taught in the American public school system..
History books now are too PC ORIENTED AND THAT IS BY DESIGN, METHINKS.
I HAVE BOUGHT WELL OVER A THOUSAND HISTORY BOOKS PRINTED BEFORE THE 1920'S.
Simply amazing how much historic truth is being denied now. --Tyr

[aboutime]

Learned a long time ago. Shortly after coming home from the Gulf War in 1991.
"You can't go home again!"
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/990732-you-can-t-go-home-again





For You, as our resident DP Poet....


“Child, child, have patience and belief, for life is many days, and each present hour will pass away. Son, son, you have been mad and drunken, furious and wild, filled with hatred and despair, and all the dark confusions of the soul - but so have we. You found the earth too great for your one life, you found your brain and sinew smaller than the hunger and desire that fed on them - but it has been this way with all men. You have stumbled on in darkness, you have been pulled in opposite directions, you have faltered, you have missed the way, but, child, this is the chronicle of the earth. And now, because you have known madness and despair, and because you will grow desperate again before you come to evening, we who have stormed the ramparts of the furious earth and been hurled back, we who have been maddened by the unknowable and bitter mystery of love, we who have hungered after fame and savored all of life, the tumult, pain, and frenzy, and now sit quietly by our windows watching all that henceforth never more shall touch us - we call upon you to take heart, for we can swear to you that these things pass.”
― Thomas Wolfe, You Can't Go Home Again

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

Learned a long time ago. Shortly after coming home from the Gulf War in 1991.
"You can't go home again!"
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/990732-you-can-t-go-home-again





For You, as our resident DP Poet....


“Child, child, have patience and belief, for life is many days, and each present hour will pass away. Son, son, you have been mad and drunken, furious and wild, filled with hatred and despair, and all the dark confusions of the soul - but so have we. You found the earth too great for your one life, you found your brain and sinew smaller than the hunger and desire that fed on them - but it has been this way with all men. You have stumbled on in darkness, you have been pulled in opposite directions, you have faltered, you have missed the way, but, child, this is the chronicle of the earth. And now, because you have known madness and despair, and because you will grow desperate again before you come to evening, we who have stormed the ramparts of the furious earth and been hurled back, we who have been maddened by the unknowable and bitter mystery of love, we who have hungered after fame and savored all of life, the tumult, pain, and frenzy, and now sit quietly by our windows watching all that henceforth never more shall touch us - we call upon you to take heart, for we can swear to you that these things pass.”
― Thomas Wolfe, You Can't Go Home Again


Thanks my friend , a great post..
I read your post and Thomas Wolfe 's words caused this sonnet to be born immediately afterward..
One never knows where, how or when inspiration may arrive..
You and Thomas Wolfe , both inspired this sonnet.
And I will enter it in the next sonnet contest at my poetry site.
Thanks ...-Tyr


Where Dawn's First Rays Meet The Bright Of Morrows

Where dawn's first rays meet the bright of morrows
mother earth and sun's massive power meets.
Days promise oft erase night's great sorrows
as Nature and man wake and rise to greet.

Streams, fields and bright meadows stir to inspire
sons of men, their imaginative ways.
Mere wild brutes before blessed gift of fire
huddling in nights of fear, awaiting day.

Arrogance came as Nature was subdued
with such power came again, dark they fear.
As their fear returned, Nature was renewed
Heavens glowed and shed not a single tear.

As twilight yields to the falling of bright
Man remembers what lurks in dark of night.

Robert J. Lindley, 2-01-2018
Sonnet, ( What lurks in dark of night )

[NightTrain]

I guess I'm different... I embrace the new and look forward to it. Being in the same place doing the same thing wears on me after a while.

I love going to new places and meeting new people and exploring areas that I haven't been to before.

[Balu]

A familiar mood...
First time I suffered it graduating from the secondary school when I physically realized that a part of my Life had passed and would never see again my school mates who were a part of more than a half of my THAT Life. But all the sadness was compensated by Future prospects which which attracted and excited the imagination. The second time - the day prior to my Wedding...
The Life was passing and every next turn left less and less factors to suppress the arising every time feeling of sadness.
I think this is normal. This is Life and it must be accepted as it is. So, Good Luck to you and don't be blue. :slap:

[darin]

I guess I'm different... I embrace the new and look forward to it. Being in the same place doing the same thing wears on me after a while.

I love going to new places and meeting new people and exploring areas that I haven't been to before.

that was me 5 years ago. Getting old sucks

[High_Plains_Drifter]

that was me 5 years ago. Getting old sucks
Getting old does suck, in many different ways, most predominant though, in my opinion, is the slow physical deterioration. But watching loved ones pass, losing good friends, seeing the world change and knowing your end is getting nearer and nearer isn't the most pleasant thing. But in a way, I think getting old gets you ready to pass on, because you'll be so sick of being OLD that death will be a welcome relief, and the thought of seeing those who passed before you once again. To discard the flesh and set the soul free.

[Balu]

Getting old does suck, in many different ways, most predominant though, in my opinion, is the slow physical deterioration. But watching loved ones pass, losing good friends, seeing the world change and knowing your end is getting nearer and nearer isn't the most pleasant thing. But in a way, I think getting old gets you ready to pass on, because you'll be so sick of being OLD that death will be a welcome relief, and the thought of seeing those who passed before you once again. To discard the flesh and set the soul free.
Everything depends on your personal worldview. If you are lucky to find yourself once in a "tunnel" you become convinced in the rightness of some religious statements and this enables you to look at all things from a different angle. Atheists are poor souls, but this is THEIR choice.
I would recommend you to read "The Master and Margarita" authored by M.Bulgakov. For you it surely won't be a waste of time.

http://www.masterandmargarita.eu/estore/pdf/eben001_mastermargarita_glenny.pdf

[Abbey Marie]

I guess I'm different... I embrace the new and look forward to it. Being in the same place doing the same thing wears on me after a while.

I love going to new places and meeting new people and exploring areas that I haven't been to before.

I also think that you and Darin are coming from very different places in life right now. He has had some fundamental changes to his life recently. But yeah, you are two (awesome) very different guys in some ways.

:cool:

[Abbey Marie]

Getting old does suck, in many different ways, most predominant though, in my opinion, is the slow physical deterioration. But watching loved ones pass, losing good friends, seeing the world change and knowing your end is getting nearer and nearer isn't the most pleasant thing. But in a way, I think getting old gets you ready to pass on, because you'll be so sick of being OLD that death will be a welcome relief, and the thought of seeing those who passed before you once again. To discard the flesh and set the soul free.

The only two positives I feel about getting old are:
1. Facing your mortality causes you to not sweat the small stuff so much, or to put it more positively, you learn to appreciate things in a more real way. After my heart attack, I saw how incredibly beautiful this planet really is.
2. You're still alive!

The negatives are too long and depressing to list.

[Balu]

I guess I'm different... I embrace the new and look forward to it. Being in the same place doing the same thing wears on me after a while.

I love going to new places and meeting new people and exploring areas that I haven't been to before.

With no intention to offend you, I would say the following - there are two possible options. Either you have already fully and clearly defined your scale of values in this Life, or you are still enjoying only the process of cognition itself.

[Drummond]

With no intention to offend you, I would say the following - there are two possible options. Either you have already fully and clearly defined your scale of values in this Life, or you are still enjoying only the process of cognition itself.

This works to a degree.

Even so, I'd suggest that a person could've fully worked out their personal scale of values ... OR ... something may subsequently happen to realign those values. A life lesson, perhaps ?

Such a person would re-engage the cognition process in order to evolve further, but, would've already gone so far as to be 'sure', until that point, to complete an understanding of acceptable values to be true to.

For example: you see strength as a meritorious end unto itself, having self-confirmatory 'values'. For myself, I'd say that there is far more to life than just posturing within those terms, and far more to be gained by a wider, more receptive and empathic attitude. Who's to say that your various interactions on this board won't help re-engage a cognitive process you'd previously thought to be long-since completed ?

We are all human beings (terrorists excluded, though .. everything about them denies any definition of 'human'). We all have common goals and hopes in our personal lives. Enmities, you'd imagine, SHOULDN'T exist ... yet, they do. Why ? Because those people let differences intervene. Pride gets in the way of understanding and good-fellowship. Minds become closed to what others have long known to be true.

It is a pity.

I think you have a lot to gain from your presence here, Balu. Be open to change.

[aboutime]

Since I had my heart attack, and died twice. Every day is a new adventure when I wake up, and see light, take a breath, and hear my wife's voice. YOU CAN'T BEAT THAT !

[LongTermGuy]

Today is my final day working in the office i've been in since October of 2015. Monday I report to a new location about 20 minutes from my house. This place is 3 miles from where I live. I'm frustrated a lot. I keep thinking "Well...this is probably the last time in my life I will walk down these stairs..." or "So weird to think I may never see that tree again, ever - 100 years from now that tree will likely be there and I'll be dead and gone."

I dont know what drives that within me, however - it's like every change the loss of what I'm leaving outweighs the excitement of what's next. Even when I'm leaving something less than ideal, I feel the "never again will I" blues.


Anyone else, or am I that weird?


You're just fine darin.....and Not alone!! Part of life. Like being in a Time Machine set / stuck on......Fast forward ...the older we get....things ...changes moving so fast which we have no control of and cannot digest quick enough........A feeling of wanting to put everything on STOP...just to catch up....

[Balu]

Your just fine darin.....and Not alone!! Part of life. Like being in a Time Machine set / stuck on......Fast forward ...the older we get....things ...changes moving so fast which we have no control of and cannot digest quick enough........A feeling of wanting to put everything on STOP...just to catch up....

Another peculiar thing - The Life was passing - the time started running quicker. To compare - an endless time of a lesson at school and working days of a week now, which passing at the bullet velocity. The is a couple of songs from the Soviet film with subs. Hope some of you will like them.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7dBsCnAHN0


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=howt8gN1ieI