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glockmail
08-15-2007, 05:14 PM
The other day I was being deposed by this lady lawyer on a case I’m providing expert testimony on. I’m working for the plaintiff and she’s with the defendant. She’s late 30’s, petite, very white skin, wearing one of those manly looking suits with a low camisole underneath. She wasn’t a bad looking gal but certainly nothing to drool over. Anyway she starts off by instructing me to answer her yes or no, be verbally descriptive, don’t nod my head or gesture, as this would not be picked up by the transcriptionist. So I nodded that I understood, and she immediately stood up and leans over the table, and with a raised voice says: “just like that- don’t do that!”

I then sat back and took a leisurely look at her, from the tight skirt, past the skimpy cleavage, over her red lips and then finally to her eyes, and quietly stated: “you didn’t asked me a question.”

JohnDoe
08-15-2007, 07:49 PM
and?

it doesn't stop there does it? gees, you should be a writer for those steamy love novels or something! Very descriptive, done fairly well!!! hahahaha! j/k u!

;)

jd

glockmail
08-15-2007, 08:26 PM
and?

it doesn't stop there does it? gees, you should be a writer for those steamy love novels or something! Very descriptive, done fairly well!!! hahahaha! j/k u!

;)

jd Then she interrogated me for 2 hours. But I had already set the tone. :laugh2:

Yurt
08-15-2007, 08:33 PM
Then she interrogated me for 2 hours. But I had already set the tone. :laugh2:

so you had no objection to being a badgered witness? :coffee:

glockmail
08-16-2007, 11:30 AM
so you had no objection to being a badgered witness? :coffee: She can badger me all she wants. Since this will likely be a jury trial, that will make me look good. Besides, I'm getting paid for it.

Pale Rider
08-16-2007, 02:06 PM
Was she wearing a ring?

glockmail
08-16-2007, 02:08 PM
Was she wearing a ring? I wasn't looking at her hands. :coffee:

avatar4321
08-16-2007, 02:10 PM
I wasn't looking at her hands. :coffee:

got her number?;)

Pale Rider
08-16-2007, 02:15 PM
I wasn't looking at her hands. :coffee:

Left hand should always be where you start. If it ain't available, what's the use?

Monkeybone
08-16-2007, 02:17 PM
*zip* let's start us some dicktation

glockmail
08-16-2007, 03:01 PM
Shit I have no idea why y'all hot on this chic. I tole ya she was nothing to drool for, and a flattie. She did have nice hips and incredibly white skin though. :poke:

Monkeybone
08-16-2007, 03:19 PM
just so alone Glock *sob*

plus i wanted to be cool.

avatar4321
08-16-2007, 03:25 PM
just so alone Glock *sob*

plus i wanted to be cool.

being cool is overrated. Everyone treats you like everyone else and leaves you all alone. its not very fun.

Pale Rider
08-16-2007, 03:29 PM
Shit I have no idea why y'all hot on this chic. I tole ya she was nothing to drool for, and a flattie. She did have nice hips and incredibly white skin though. :poke:

Well if she wasn't all that hot, then why are you telling me that "you weren't looking at her hands?" You must have thought something was hot enough that you couldn't take your eyes off it.

Monkeybone
08-16-2007, 03:29 PM
agreed Av...i prefer more under the radar and doing my own thing while hanging with friends that i know are friends.

glockmail
08-16-2007, 04:01 PM
Well if she wasn't all that hot, then why are you telling me that "you weren't looking at her hands?" You must have thought something was hot enough that you couldn't take your eyes off it.
After my initial once-over I simply looked into her face, as if in polite conversation. And honestly I don’t remember noticing and jewelry.

The point is here that I played her. She tried to get on top by showing cleavage, setting the rules, accusing me loudly and forcefully. I instantly turned it right around by acknowledging her sex, then quietly showing how she wrongly accused me, all with a hint of humor, glock-style.

It’s a power game with lawyers, and I’ve learned to use their own tactics against them.

Next time I see her I'll check out her hands for y'all. If she offers to shake mine maybe I'll grab it by the wrist, bring it up towards my face and kiss the top of her hand. :laugh2: Do you think that would set her back on her stiletto heels?

Pale Rider
08-16-2007, 04:31 PM
After my initial once-over I simply looked into her face, as if in polite conversation. And honestly I don’t remember noticing and jewelry.

The point is here that I played her. She tried to get on top by showing cleavage, setting the rules, accusing me loudly and forcefully. I instantly turned it right around by acknowledging her sex, then quietly showing how she wrongly accused me, all with a hint of humor, glock-style.

It’s a power game with lawyers, and I’ve learned to use their own tactics against them.

Next time I see her I'll check out her hands for y'all. If she offers to shake mine maybe I'll grab it by the wrist, bring it up towards my face and kiss the top of her hand. :laugh2: Do you think that would set her back on her stiletto heels?

I'll tell ya glock... YOU THE MAN!!! :laugh2:

I think before you do any hand kissing, you may want to do the ring check thingy, or else her 750 pound no neck husband will grind you into a couple pounds of ground round... :laugh:

glockmail
08-16-2007, 04:37 PM
I'll tell ya glock... YOU THE MAN!!! :laugh2:

I think before you do any hand kissing, you may want to do the ring check thingy, or else her 750 pound no neck husband will grind you into a couple pounds of ground round... :laugh: At 750 pounds I'd have no trouble keeping just out of reach. :laugh2:

Pale Rider
08-17-2007, 02:24 AM
At 750 pounds I'd have no trouble keeping just out of reach. :laugh2:

The poor man... trying to defend his wifes honor... you SLUT! TRAMP! HOME WRECKER! - - :laugh2:

glockmail
08-17-2007, 05:57 AM
The poor man... trying to defend his wifes honor... you SLUT! TRAMP! HOME WRECKER! - - :laugh2: Actually she did mention that she knew my old boss. I wonder if they hooked up. He's about 5-10 160#, but very laid back, and plays in an Old Time band.

diuretic
08-17-2007, 06:02 AM
"Tis true, expert witnesses are a pain :laugh2:

glockmail
08-17-2007, 06:18 AM
"Tis true, expert witnesses are a pain :laugh2:
You a law-er?

glockmail
08-17-2007, 06:31 AM
The other thing that happened during a break is that I started talking to my client, the plaintiff, about what her young son was doing for the summer, and she mentioned cub scouts. So I told her about my son’s Boy Scout troop, and that she should look at it. During this time I’m looking over at the defendants, a couple in their 50’s and their realtor, engaging them with smiles and nods if not words. Finally the defendant realtor pipes in the he knows the scoutmaster of our troop, he’s a great guy, yada, yada, and I start to deflect the conversation there. The hubby of the defendant couple starts to speak just as their lawyer walks in, and gives all three of them a bug-eyed look. :laugh2:

Monkeybone
08-17-2007, 09:18 AM
that is because glocky (do i have to earn the right to call you that?) is you're in court against someone you definately can't be friends and heaven forbid if you are civil with each other

Nukeman
08-17-2007, 09:31 AM
agreed Av...i prefer more under the radar and doing my own thing while hanging with friends that i know are friends.
You can hang with me!!! Come over and we'll play Halo till 3:30 in the morning. Ohhh wait didn't my wife get mad about that already!!!!.



:cheers2::cheers2::cheers2:

Monkeybone
08-17-2007, 09:43 AM
You can hang with me!!! Come over and we'll play Halo till 3:30 in the morning. Ohhh wait didn't my wife get mad about that already!!!!.



:cheers2::cheers2::cheers2:

she just doesn't understand.

glockmail
08-17-2007, 10:24 AM
that is because glocky (do i have to earn the right to call you that?) is you're in court against someone you definately can't be friends and heaven forbid if you are civil with each other
1. Call me whatever you want.
2. Exactly. The Plantiff's expert witness getting the nod of respect from the defendant will have a very postive effect on the judge or jury. Their attorney had to have been fuming.

diuretic
08-18-2007, 01:22 AM
You a law-er?

No, definitely not :coffee:

Expert lawyers can be difficult because they tend to be a bit, er - boisterous - as witnesses. It's funny to watch a really good expert witness being cross-examined. Of course some of them get a bit full of their own importance and can be tossed but for the most part, the ones that know what they're doing can really tie up an opposing counsel (if said counsel is silly enough to pull them on for a fight).

glockmail
08-18-2007, 08:30 AM
No, definitely not :coffee:

Expert lawyers can be difficult because they tend to be a bit, er - boisterous - as witnesses. It's funny to watch a really good expert witness being cross-examined. Of course some of them get a bit full of their own importance and can be tossed but for the most part, the ones that know what they're doing can really tie up an opposing counsel (if said counsel is silly enough to pull them on for a fight). The key is to constantly steer the argument back to logic, and explain the situation in a way that someone with a 90 IQ can understand. Leave the theatrics to the lawyers and the jury will see right through them.