avatar4321
08-07-2007, 05:11 PM
http://blogcritics.org/archives/2007/08/07/024518.php
Already facing charges of being a flip-flopper on issues such as abortion and gay rights, Mitt Romney has stunned the political world with his announcement that he is no longer a Mormon.
"I just got tired of all the questions about my Mormon faith," Romney told a group of enthusiastic supporters. "Everywhere I went, it was 'Mormon this' and 'Mormon that'...Frankly, I'm fed up."
Asked what religion he now subscribes to, Romney declared, "I've decided to worship Satan. I understand that this might generate some controversy, but certainly not as much as the whole Mormon thing."
Republican supporters of the former governor were thrilled with the news. Pat Robertson was quoted as saying, "Now that he's no longer a Mormon, it will be easier for the Evangelical Christian community to get behind him. I think it will guarantee him the nomination. Of course, the whole Satan thing is kind of weird, but I think Christians will be willing to look past that. At least he's not a Mormon!"
Romney's wife, Ann, when asked about her husband's decision, was philosophic. "When you're running for president, you sometimes have to make some changes in your life, and if this will garner a few more votes for Mitt, then I'm all for it!"
When some of the other Republican candidates were quick to label him a flip-flopper, Romney fired back by saying, "I get tired of people who are holier-than-thou, only because they've been worshipping Satan longer than I have."
For Romney, the decision has benefits beyond just the obvious political ones. He told reporters, "When I woke up this morning, I had my very first cup of coffee. I never dreamed that something could taste that good!"
Already facing charges of being a flip-flopper on issues such as abortion and gay rights, Mitt Romney has stunned the political world with his announcement that he is no longer a Mormon.
"I just got tired of all the questions about my Mormon faith," Romney told a group of enthusiastic supporters. "Everywhere I went, it was 'Mormon this' and 'Mormon that'...Frankly, I'm fed up."
Asked what religion he now subscribes to, Romney declared, "I've decided to worship Satan. I understand that this might generate some controversy, but certainly not as much as the whole Mormon thing."
Republican supporters of the former governor were thrilled with the news. Pat Robertson was quoted as saying, "Now that he's no longer a Mormon, it will be easier for the Evangelical Christian community to get behind him. I think it will guarantee him the nomination. Of course, the whole Satan thing is kind of weird, but I think Christians will be willing to look past that. At least he's not a Mormon!"
Romney's wife, Ann, when asked about her husband's decision, was philosophic. "When you're running for president, you sometimes have to make some changes in your life, and if this will garner a few more votes for Mitt, then I'm all for it!"
When some of the other Republican candidates were quick to label him a flip-flopper, Romney fired back by saying, "I get tired of people who are holier-than-thou, only because they've been worshipping Satan longer than I have."
For Romney, the decision has benefits beyond just the obvious political ones. He told reporters, "When I woke up this morning, I had my very first cup of coffee. I never dreamed that something could taste that good!"