ADHD and ODD? Help stressed out parent!

[Trinity]

Does anyone on here have a child with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)

My youngest was diagnosed as having ODD and possibly ADHD when he was 4 years old. However at that age I was not going to medicate him because I was hoping for the most part it was due to his age.

So this past school year he did pretty well for the most part as far as his grades went he was getting a's and b's and an occasional c until the last quarter then he started getting into trouble at school and his last report card he had 2 F's this child has never had F's on his report card.

So I talked with his teacher and discussed what Jesse's issues were and all of them fell into the ADHD category, so so I sent in an evaluation form for his teacher to fill out and I filled one out as well.

I then did some research again on ODD and discovered that he had every single one of the characteristics which are.........

* Is easily angered, annoyed or irritated
* Has Frequent temper tantrums
* Argues frequently with adults, particularly the most familiar adults in their lives, such as parents
* Refuses to obey rules
* Seems to deliberately try to annoy or aggravate others
* Has low self esteem
* Has low frustration threshold
* Seeks to blame others for any misfortunes and misdeeds.


Yesterday I took him to the doctor because he was sick and I wanted to discuss the ADHD and ODD with the doctor. I gave him the forms that his teacher and I filled out he looked them over and then wrote him a prescription for METADATE CD 10mg. He then tells me he wants me to start giving them to him the weekend before he starts school but he wants to see him back in 3 to 4 weeks he starts school on August 21st which is about 3 weeks from now.


He did not discuss this with me nor did he ask any other questions he did not explain the medication to me the only question he asked me was what does his father think about it and I told him his father seems to think he is just acting hyper like he did when he was a kid I however suspect that his father is bi-polar and ADHD as well. His father's older son is ADD and on Concerta and it works very well for him according to his mother. My two older children who were not raised by me one has ADD and the other has ADHD. I am suspicious that I am ADHD as well, I have all the characteristics. Which explains a lot of my behavior that drives people crazy, but to me is normal.


anyone I am just looking for other's experience with this. I also think I am looking for a new doctor for my kid's that was just a little unsettling that he did not discuss it with me any further then he did and wrote out this prescription right away. Oh by the way Jesse is 8 he will be 9 next month.

[Mr. P]

I personally don't think these conditions really exist. My opinion is ADD and now the new ODD are labels for spoiled undisciplined kids, or active kids.
Drugging kids is an easy out for parents AND teachers, it's wrong IMO. It's no more than the Dr. Spock of today. We know his results.

Don't be offended T, that is how I see it.

[Monkeybone]

i am kinda with Mr. P on this. i think that there is ADD and ADHD to an extent, but the answer isn't drugging the kid. as to ODD....that is any kid. even the most well behaved kid will defy every now and then. just another "lable" on kids, that doesn't do anything to really help them control it.

if you do go with the drugs..be careful...i know two ppl that were on ADD/ADHD drugs, one acted the complete opposite of the person that he was and started to show signs of depression or it supressed his "excess energy" so much that he just sat around and would do nohting, he would barely even talk. the other kid that was a friend of my cousin that hung out with us, well he bnasically couldn't think with an speed or clarity...you wold have thought that he was a pot head until you found out that he was on drugs.

[Nukeman]

Does anyone on here have a child with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)

My youngest was diagnosed as having ODD and possibly ADHD when he was 4 years old. However at that age I was not going to medicate him because I was hoping for the most part it was due to his age.

So this past school year he did pretty well for the most part as far as his grades went he was getting a's and b's and an occasional c until the last quarter then he started getting into trouble at school and his last report card he had 2 F's this child has never had F's on his report card.

So I talked with his teacher and discussed what Jesse's issues were and all of them fell into the ADHD category, so so I sent in an evaluation form for his teacher to fill out and I filled one out as well.

I then did some research again on ODD and discovered that he had every single one of the characteristics which are.........

* Is easily angered, annoyed or irritated
* Has Frequent temper tantrums
* Argues frequently with adults, particularly the most familiar adults in their lives, such as parents
* Refuses to obey rules
* Seems to deliberately try to annoy or aggravate others
* Has low self esteem
* Has low frustration threshold
* Seeks to blame others for any misfortunes and misdeeds.
Yesterday I took him to the doctor because he was sick and I wanted to discuss the ADHD and ODD with the doctor. I gave him the forms that his teacher and I filled out he looked them over and then wrote him a prescription for METADATE CD 10mg. He then tells me he wants me to start giving them to him the weekend before he starts school but he wants to see him back in 3 to 4 weeks he starts school on August 21st which is about 3 weeks from now.


He did not discuss this with me nor did he ask any other questions he did not explain the medication to me the only question he asked me was what does his father think about it and I told him his father seems to think he is just acting hyper like he did when he was a kid I however suspect that his father is bi-polar and ADHD as well. His father's older son is ADD and on Concerta and it works very well for him according to his mother. My two older children who were not raised by me one has ADD and the other has ADHD. I am suspicious that I am ADHD as well, I have all the characteristics. Which explains a lot of my behavior that drives people crazy, but to me is normal.


anyone I am just looking for other's experience with this. I also think I am looking for a new doctor for my kid's that was just a little unsettling that he did not discuss it with me any further then he did and wrote out this prescription right away. Oh by the way Jesse is 8 he will be 9 next month.

The part I bolded is the definition of ALL CHILDREN.....

I gotta say my 3rd child is very "difficult" , however I would NEVER medicate my child for the scam we call ADHD.

Most children can be controled with proper diet.. As well as stern discipline. You have to set strickt guidelines with consequences for their actions..

I dont know who diagnosed your child but if it wasn't performed by a licensed phsycologist who specializes in this "disorder" than it is probably a bogus diagnosis.

98% of all children diagnosed with ADHD are right here in the good old US of A. Now what does that tell you!!!!

Here's another little tidbit of information the most highly consintrated area of the country of medicated children for ADHD is in the midwest around Kalamazoo MI. Guess why!!!! IT's the home of Pharmacia/Upjohn the manufacture of Ritalin.

Our society is way to quick to label children with a "disorder" The schools love it because they get more federal dollars for every single special needs child....

I know this isn't helping with your problem so I will try to get back on topic.

I have found that when my 3rd child gets out of hand, he does much better with a firm calm talking to with a little one-on-one time than yelling, screaming, or spanking...

In fact he hates to be told that I am "disapointed" in his behaviour...

I dont give him any caffene, limit his sugar, and he gets absolutely nothing with red dye in it. I dont know what it is about the red dye but it will set off all my kids... If he was acting up at the end of the school year he was probably bored, you stated he was getting A's and B's the rest of the year. Mine is usually a straight A student, however when he gets bored look out, I have talks with my sons principle and teacher and basicly told them that if they want him to be good keep him interested in the topics, In other words TEACH....

Dont know if this helps..... Just what I do and think.....

[Abbey Marie]

...
Our society is way to quick to label children with a "disorder" The schools love it because they get more federal dollars for every single special needs child....
...


I think you raise a good point. This is not directed to Trinity's child, but these days, it seems we rush to label every unfavorable behavior a disorder or disease.

[nevadamedic]

Does anyone on here have a child with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)

My youngest was diagnosed as having ODD and possibly ADHD when he was 4 years old. However at that age I was not going to medicate him because I was hoping for the most part it was due to his age.

So this past school year he did pretty well for the most part as far as his grades went he was getting a's and b's and an occasional c until the last quarter then he started getting into trouble at school and his last report card he had 2 F's this child has never had F's on his report card.

So I talked with his teacher and discussed what Jesse's issues were and all of them fell into the ADHD category, so so I sent in an evaluation form for his teacher to fill out and I filled one out as well.

I then did some research again on ODD and discovered that he had every single one of the characteristics which are.........

* Is easily angered, annoyed or irritated
* Has Frequent temper tantrums
* Argues frequently with adults, particularly the most familiar adults in their lives, such as parents
* Refuses to obey rules
* Seems to deliberately try to annoy or aggravate others
* Has low self esteem
* Has low frustration threshold
* Seeks to blame others for any misfortunes and misdeeds.


Yesterday I took him to the doctor because he was sick and I wanted to discuss the ADHD and ODD with the doctor. I gave him the forms that his teacher and I filled out he looked them over and then wrote him a prescription for METADATE CD 10mg. He then tells me he wants me to start giving them to him the weekend before he starts school but he wants to see him back in 3 to 4 weeks he starts school on August 21st which is about 3 weeks from now.


He did not discuss this with me nor did he ask any other questions he did not explain the medication to me the only question he asked me was what does his father think about it and I told him his father seems to think he is just acting hyper like he did when he was a kid I however suspect that his father is bi-polar and ADHD as well. His father's older son is ADD and on Concerta and it works very well for him according to his mother. My two older children who were not raised by me one has ADD and the other has ADHD. I am suspicious that I am ADHD as well, I have all the characteristics. Which explains a lot of my behavior that drives people crazy, but to me is normal.


anyone I am just looking for other's experience with this. I also think I am looking for a new doctor for my kid's that was just a little unsettling that he did not discuss it with me any further then he did and wrote out this prescription right away. Oh by the way Jesse is 8 he will be 9 next month.

Screw that ADD ADHD shit. There is a computer test that they give you, ive had it and that is the only accurate way to determine if you have it or not. Personally I think it is all a scam by the drug companies.

Also Metadate it basically Prescription Methanphetamine. I would not give that to him ever.

[Trinity]

Oh believe me I am not one to jump on the medication wagon if that were the case I would have done so 5 years ago when he was first diagnosed.



Jesse is not the kind of child you can sit down with and have a conversation and find out what is wrong with him. If there is something going on with him it usually takes me hours to find out what the problem is. He does not like to talk about things and I can not figure out why. I have tried many different methods in trying to get him to open up and talk to me. I have found at this point the best way to get a answer from him is to spend about 2 hours talking to him about everything except the question I need the answer to, then I have to ask the question in a way that it is not a direct question If I ask it directly I will not get an answer.

He is also like this in school I remember his 1st grade teacher calling me up a month into school and asking me if Jesse knows his letters and sounds I was like yes he has known them for about a year why she said because every time she asks him what the letters and sounds are he will not answer her. I told her that is how he is if asked a direct question he will not answer you will have to find an alternative method of asking him for his letters and sounds.

Jesse also has a very violent temper when it comes to his brother when he gets angry he calls him horrible names and then will just hit him. I have tried everything under the sun to correct this and nothing seems to work. He is very hostile and he knows that he needs help controlling himself he is asking for help he keeps asking me if they make something to control anger to help him control his anger. I tell him no they don't you have to learn how to control it yourself.

He is also a perfectionist for instance doing his homework this past school year was a nightmare! When he is writing sentences if it is not perfect he will erase it and re write it till it is perfect, so homework that should have taken 20 minutes to complete takes Jesse about an hour and a half.


all of these characteristics listed below are normal for kids at different times and stages of their lives, but with Jesse these are present every day, all day long. These are not just occasional things that happen I deal with this all day long, every day! I have tried everything from talking to spanking and nothing works for him.


* Is easily angered, annoyed or irritated
* Has Frequent temper tantrums
* Argues frequently with adults, particularly the most familiar adults in their lives, such as parents
* Refuses to obey rules
* Seems to deliberately try to annoy or aggravate others
* Has low self esteem
* Has low frustration threshold
* Seeks to blame others for any misfortunes and misdeeds.

[nevadamedic]

There is also terrible withdrawls that come with getting off Metidate and Adderall.

[Mr. P]

Oh believe me I am not one to jump on the medication wagon if that were the case I would have done so 5 years ago when he was first diagnosed.



Jesse is not the kind of child you can sit down with and have a conversation and find out what is wrong with him. If there is something going on with him it usually takes me hours to find out what the problem is. He does not like to talk about things and I can not figure out why. I have tried many different methods in trying to get him to open up and talk to me. I have found at this point the best way to get a answer from him is to spend about 2 hours talking to him about everything except the question I need the answer to, then I have to ask the question in a way that it is not a direct question If I ask it directly I will not get an answer.

He is also like this in school I remember his 1st grade teacher calling me up a month into school and asking me if Jesse knows his letters and sounds I was like yes he has known them for about a year why she said because every time she asks him what the letters and sounds are he will not answer her. I told her that is how he is if asked a direct question he will not answer you will have to find an alternative method of asking him for his letters and sounds.

Jesse also has a very violent temper when it comes to his brother when he gets angry he calls him horrible names and then will just hit him. I have tried everything under the sun to correct this and nothing seems to work. He is very hostile and he knows that he needs help controlling himself he is asking for help he keeps asking me if they make something to control anger to help him control his anger. I tell him no they don't you have to learn how to control it yourself.

He is also a perfectionist for instance doing his homework this past school year was a nightmare! When he is writing sentences if it is not perfect he will erase it and re write it till it is perfect, so homework that should have taken 20 minutes to complete takes Jesse about an hour and a half.


all of these characteristics listed below are normal for kids at different times and stages of their lives, but with Jesse these are present every day, all day long. These are not just occasional things that happen I deal with this all day long, every day! I have tried everything from talking to spanking and nothing works for him.


* Is easily angered, annoyed or irritated
* Has Frequent temper tantrums
* Argues frequently with adults, particularly the most familiar adults in their lives, such as parents
* Refuses to obey rules
* Seems to deliberately try to annoy or aggravate others
* Has low self esteem
* Has low frustration threshold
* Seeks to blame others for any misfortunes and misdeeds.

Does he play video games? How does he behave then?

[Monkeybone]

almost sounds like he is OC and if things aren't right then his world falls apart. right there could be the low frustration lvl and blaming others.

as for the answering questions like that, i was like that as a kid and still am sometimes. when someone ask me a question, even if i am sure of the answer, there is that little bit of doubt present that screws everything up so i day i don't know or something else to avoid the answer, better to look like you don't know it then get it wrong and look stupid. that is a confidence prob right there also.

[Nukeman]

Does he play video games? How does he behave then?I know where your going with this and I have to totaly agree with you. If a child can concentrate on a video game than he doesn't have TRUE ADD/ADHD. Most times clinicians overlook this very simple test.....

[nevadamedic]

Oh believe me I am not one to jump on the medication wagon if that were the case I would have done so 5 years ago when he was first diagnosed.



Jesse is not the kind of child you can sit down with and have a conversation and find out what is wrong with him. If there is something going on with him it usually takes me hours to find out what the problem is. He does not like to talk about things and I can not figure out why. I have tried many different methods in trying to get him to open up and talk to me. I have found at this point the best way to get a answer from him is to spend about 2 hours talking to him about everything except the question I need the answer to, then I have to ask the question in a way that it is not a direct question If I ask it directly I will not get an answer.

He is also like this in school I remember his 1st grade teacher calling me up a month into school and asking me if Jesse knows his letters and sounds I was like yes he has known them for about a year why she said because every time she asks him what the letters and sounds are he will not answer her. I told her that is how he is if asked a direct question he will not answer you will have to find an alternative method of asking him for his letters and sounds.

Jesse also has a very violent temper when it comes to his brother when he gets angry he calls him horrible names and then will just hit him. I have tried everything under the sun to correct this and nothing seems to work. He is very hostile and he knows that he needs help controlling himself he is asking for help he keeps asking me if they make something to control anger to help him control his anger. I tell him no they don't you have to learn how to control it yourself.

He is also a perfectionist for instance doing his homework this past school year was a nightmare! When he is writing sentences if it is not perfect he will erase it and re write it till it is perfect, so homework that should have taken 20 minutes to complete takes Jesse about an hour and a half.


all of these characteristics listed below are normal for kids at different times and stages of their lives, but with Jesse these are present every day, all day long. These are not just occasional things that happen I deal with this all day long, every day! I have tried everything from talking to spanking and nothing works for him.


* Is easily angered, annoyed or irritated
* Has Frequent temper tantrums
* Argues frequently with adults, particularly the most familiar adults in their lives, such as parents
* Refuses to obey rules
* Seems to deliberately try to annoy or aggravate others
* Has low self esteem
* Has low frustration threshold
* Seeks to blame others for any misfortunes and misdeeds.

He could have a mild form of Autism.... The example with the teacher is a dead giveaway...........

[Mr. P]

I know where your going with this and I have to totaly agree with you. If a child can concentrate on a video game than he doesn't have TRUE ADD/ADHD. Most times clinicians overlook this very simple test.....

SPOILER!

Seriously though it's true, and it just goes to show active intelligent kids need active intelligent stimulation to hold their attention. I am NOT suggesting they sit at video games, I think you know that. What needs to be found is the level of stimulation that holds their interest..

[Nukeman]

SPOILER!

Seriously though it's true, and it just goes to show active intelligent kids need active intelligent stimulation to hold their attention. I am NOT suggesting they sit at video games, I think you know that. What needs to be found is the level of stimulation that holds their interest..
SORRY!!!!:cheers2:



I agree 100%. My 3rd child exhibits a lot of these behaviours, but he is very intelligent, and I feel he gets bored very easily. I have repeatedly told the school they need to keep him interested. We do all sorts of activities at home with things he likes to do. ask him anything about dinosaurs and he knows the answer. Also he would rather read an encylopedia on animals than any other type of book.

You get him doing stuff he doesn't like,, Ohhhh boy look out, he can be very difficult.... Thats just him though I dont think I would have him any other way...

[Abbey Marie]

SORRY!!!!:cheers2:



I agree 100%. My 3rd child exhibits a lot of these behaviours, but he is very intelligent, and I feel he gets bored very easily. I have repeatedly told the school they need to keep him interested. We do all sorts of activities at home with things he likes to do. ask him anything about dinosaurs and he knows the answer. Also he would rather read an encylopedia on animals than any other type of book.

You get him doing stuff he doesn't like,, Ohhhh boy look out, he can be very difficult.... Thats just him though I dont think I would have him any other way...


I'm curious- what happens to children like this when they grow up? By my estimation, a rather large percentage of life is doing things we have to do but don't necessarily enjoy. If they are regularly given things they like to do to avoid behavior problems, how do they learn to cope with the reality of life?

[nevadamedic]

I'm curious- what happens to children like this when they grow up? By my estimation, a rather large percentage of life is doing things we have to do but don't necessarily enjoy. If they are regularly given things they like to do to avoid behavior problems, how do they learn to cope with the reality of life?

Medication............

[Trinity]

Yes, he plays video games and it depends on what game he is playing on on how he behaves 9 times out of 10 he is playing with his brother and it ends up turning into a wrestling match literally with screaming and punches being thrown as well.

I have also caught him playing with knives which scares me he has never threatened to use one on anybody but he seems to be fascinated with them along with fire that is another fascination of his.

Jesse is very intelligent! Which is why the whole F's on his report card baffled me. I would love to find an IQ test for children his age that I could actually get him to sit down and do. Just to see where he ranks at.

Jesse is also extremely hyper active more so then most boys his age he can get up at 7am go to school come home run around playing outside then go to football practice for 2 hours come home and still be literally bouncing off the walls. He has been this way since he was about 1. I have told several people he reminds me of the energizer bunny he keeps going and going and going!

Even in his sleep he is still going, we have caught him several times laughing and looking like he was playing in his sleep. He is all over the bed when he sleeps how can anyone get any rest when they are still playing in their sleep?

[Nukeman]

I'm curious- what happens to children like this when they grow up? By my estimation, a rather large percentage of life is doing things we have to do but don't necessarily enjoy. If they are regularly given things they like to do to avoid behavior problems, how do they learn to cope with the reality of life?
Ohh dont get me wrong he still has to do all the stuff he doesn't like but we. Sometimes it is very trying to get through some of it but ultimately all of his school work and chores get done. We do all this WITHOUT any type of medication. I for one was a very difficult child. I believe it is something that most of us grow out of, it is mostly an imaturity thing..

[Mr. P]

Yes, he plays video games and it depends on what game he is playing on on how he behaves 9 times out of 10 he is playing with his brother and it ends up turning into a wrestling match literally with screaming and punches being thrown as well.

I have also caught him playing with knives which scares me he has never threatened to use one on anybody but he seems to be fascinated with them along with fire that is another fascination of his.

Jesse is very intelligent! Which is why the whole F's on his report card baffled me. I would love to find an IQ test for children his age that I could actually get him to sit down and do. Just to see where he ranks at.

Jesse is also extremely hyper active more so then most boys his age he can get up at 7am go to school come home run around playing outside then go to football practice for 2 hours come home and still be literally bouncing off the walls. He has been this way since he was about 1. I have told several people he reminds me of the energizer bunny he keeps going and going and going!

Even in his sleep he is still going, we have caught him several times laughing and looking like he was playing in his sleep. He is all over the bed when he sleeps how can anyone get any rest when they are still playing in their sleep?

I'm guessing you'll be amazed at how high he scores.

[Trinity]

Ok so I took NM advice and did some research on high functioning autism and was rather surprised at what I found.

Autism is a neurological development disorder that triggers a series of behavioral maladies such as impairment in social skills, impairment in language learning and communication abilities.

Autism afflicted children normally avoid eye contacts with adults including their parents and would like to retract to solitude. They also dislike or indifferent to affectionate gestures such as touching and hugging. (This fits him perfectly)

The spectrum of autism is of two kinds namely low functioning and high functioning autism. In a low functioning category the afflicted person will have difficulty in speech and communication and they also will lack in self-caring abilities. In the case of high functioning autism, the afflicted person will have high IQ and is regarded as genius some times, but they lack in understanding non-verbal communication and social skills. (Which also fits him perfectly)

High Functioning Autism

It has been observed that persons with high functioning autism have an IQ of 85 and above and they show a restraint when it comes to social interaction or mingling. The reason for usage of “high functioning” word can be attributed to the skills present in Asperger syndrome person that can help them in leading independent life.

And where as the “autism” word part refers to traits that restrict persons from free social interaction and the inability to understand the non-verbal communication. There will be a tendency to take the spoken word literally and Asperger syndrome affected persons will love to repeat few restricted movements.

They are also not able to concentrate due to the sensory overload that may result in frustration expressed more violently and visibly. Despite the fact of persons afflicted with high functioning autism looking normal, they still require some help and treatment for mending various other behaviours.



So after doing some more research on these subjects I have decided to find him a new Doctor and also found him a psychiatrist. He has an appointment next Thursday so we will see how that turns out. However I already know how it will turn out he will completely clam up and we will have to pry to get any information out of him at all. Maybe after the 4th visit he might talk.

[Trinity]

I'm guessing you'll be amazed at how high he scores.


No I wouldn't. :) I know he is extremely intelligent. But I also know there is no way he would willingly sit down and take an IQ test and if he did the results would most likely be inaccurate because he would grow bored after the first two questions.:coffee:

[LiberalNation]

If you had questions or wanted more of his opinion you should have asked. A lot of docs are busy and wont take the time to explain things to you if you don't.

[darin]

* Is easily angered, annoyed or irritated
* Has Frequent temper tantrums
* Argues frequently with adults, particularly the most familiar adults in their lives, such as parents
* Refuses to obey rules
* Seems to deliberately try to annoy or aggravate others
* Has low self esteem
* Has low frustration threshold
* Seeks to blame others for any misfortunes and misdeeds.

Trinity - that sounds like almost EVER LIBERAL I have ever met.

:-/

What's your discipline style? Do you spank often, and hard? There's one EXTREME site out there with this:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/beatkid4.jpg

That's borderline abuse, I know - but I'm saying kids should FEEL punishment...it should absolutely SUCK for them. They don't need to understand WHY they need to obey you - understanding comes with age. The WILL LEARN that when they act up, they get painful consequence.

Good luck!

[Trinity]

Trinity - that sounds like almost EVER LIBERAL I have ever met.

:-/

What's your discipline style? Do you spank often, and hard? There's one EXTREME site out there with this:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/beatkid4.jpg

That's borderline abuse, I know - but I'm saying kids should FEEL punishment...it should absolutely SUCK for them. They don't need to understand WHY they need to obey you - understanding comes with age. The WILL LEARN that when they act up, they get painful consequence.

Good luck!

:laugh2:

I only resort to spanking if it is a life threatening situation. I have used time outs for him. I have taken things away, he has been sent to his room, he has been grounded from going to friends houses. and all of these things do suck for him he hates it but in the same sense he turns around and does the same exact thing again like he does not care.

[darin]

in the same sense he turns around and does the same exact thing again like he does not care.

Then beat him. Spank his butt. He'll learn he can't win. Don't physically ABUSE the boy - but a belt to the rump only needs a couple whacks to get a kid's attention REALLY quick. :)

[LiberalNation]

but a belt to the rump only needs a couple whacks to get a kid's attention REALLY quick.
and make them despise you.

[-Cp]

Oh believe me I am not one to jump on the medication wagon if that were the case I would have done so 5 years ago when he was first diagnosed.



Jesse is not the kind of child you can sit down with and have a conversation and find out what is wrong with him. If there is something going on with him it usually takes me hours to find out what the problem is. He does not like to talk about things and I can not figure out why. I have tried many different methods in trying to get him to open up and talk to me. I have found at this point the best way to get a answer from him is to spend about 2 hours talking to him about everything except the question I need the answer to, then I have to ask the question in a way that it is not a direct question If I ask it directly I will not get an answer.

He is also like this in school I remember his 1st grade teacher calling me up a month into school and asking me if Jesse knows his letters and sounds I was like yes he has known them for about a year why she said because every time she asks him what the letters and sounds are he will not answer her. I told her that is how he is if asked a direct question he will not answer you will have to find an alternative method of asking him for his letters and sounds.

Jesse also has a very violent temper when it comes to his brother when he gets angry he calls him horrible names and then will just hit him. I have tried everything under the sun to correct this and nothing seems to work. He is very hostile and he knows that he needs help controlling himself he is asking for help he keeps asking me if they make something to control anger to help him control his anger. I tell him no they don't you have to learn how to control it yourself.

He is also a perfectionist for instance doing his homework this past school year was a nightmare! When he is writing sentences if it is not perfect he will erase it and re write it till it is perfect, so homework that should have taken 20 minutes to complete takes Jesse about an hour and a half.


all of these characteristics listed below are normal for kids at different times and stages of their lives, but with Jesse these are present every day, all day long. These are not just occasional things that happen I deal with this all day long, every day! I have tried everything from talking to spanking and nothing works for him.


* Is easily angered, annoyed or irritated
* Has Frequent temper tantrums
* Argues frequently with adults, particularly the most familiar adults in their lives, such as parents
* Refuses to obey rules
* Seems to deliberately try to annoy or aggravate others
* Has low self esteem
* Has low frustration threshold
* Seeks to blame others for any misfortunes and misdeeds.

Ever try a good ol'fashioned ass whooping? Works like a charm on my kids...

[-Cp]

:laugh2:

I only resort to spanking if it is a life threatening situation. I have used time outs for him. I have taken things away, he has been sent to his room, he has been grounded from going to friends houses. and all of these things do suck for him he hates it but in the same sense he turns around and does the same exact thing again like he does not care.

Disregard my previous post as here in lies the problem...


"Taking things away, sending to room, grounded etc".. doesn't work with kids his age - he needs his ass beat...

I'm tellin ya... you start spanking him EVERYTIME he misbehaves (And I mean EVERY TIME).. and you'll see a drastic turn-around in his behavior...

[jackass]

and make them despise you.

I am beginning to see why you are the way you are....

[darin]

and make them despise you.

Except kids who get regular harsh discipline, to include spankings RESPECT their parents more, and are otherwise happier than brats who get whatever they want. :)

I have NO DESIRE to have my kids like me. They WILL respect me, however. You may be too young to know the difference.

[LiberalNation]

You don't respect someone you despise. You may obey out of fear of getting "hit" but that doesn't respect the person/rules.

[nevadamedic]

I am beginning to see why you are the way you are....

She should have been throttled as a child, oh wait, she still is a child.

[-Cp]

You don't respect someone you despise. You may obey out of fear of getting "hit" but that doesn't respect the person/rules.

Really?

Tell that to marines in Boot Camp or Navy Seals going thru training....

I despise many things Bill Clinton stands for and has done, but I still respect him for the office he held...

[nevadamedic]

:laugh2:

I only resort to spanking if it is a life threatening situation. I have used time outs for him. I have taken things away, he has been sent to his room, he has been grounded from going to friends houses. and all of these things do suck for him he hates it but in the same sense he turns around and does the same exact thing again like he does not care.

So if it's a life threatening situation you'll resort to spanking? I need to figure out how to create a life threatening so I can get some of that disclipline! :laugh2:

[Trinity]

You don't respect someone you despise. You may obey out of fear of getting "hit" but that doesn't respect the person/rules.


as much as I hate to say this I have to agree with her on this one.

and I will get into why later right now I have to go, football game in an hour.

[Trigg]

You don't respect someone you despise. You may obey out of fear of getting "hit" but that doesn't respect the person/rules.

I disagree. I respect my dad and we're very close.

His discipline was harsh at times, but we understood very well why we were getting spanked. He never did it when he was angry, since usually we had to sit through an hour long lecture.

Spanking does not mean beating your kids, they learn there are consiquences to their actions.

Your young and still at home. Wait until you and your friends start having kids and look around at how the kids who are not spanked act versus the kids who are spanked. Kids need to know their limitations.

[LiberalNation]

Tell that to marines in Boot Camp or Navy Seals going thru training......
Those are adults who chose to put themselves in that situation. Not kids with no other options or say in the matter.

[darin]

You don't respect someone you despise. You may obey out of fear of getting "hit" but that doesn't respect the person/rules.

I would bet MONEY my kids would grow up to despise me if I never beat them. If I never instilled in their lives a sense of wrong and consequence for actions. I've NEVER met anyone who despises their folks for having appropriately beaten them - actually, EVERYONE i've met with 'parental issues' who seek therapy are those whose parents didn't LOVE them enough to beat them.

When kids are young, it's perfectly okay they obey 'simply to avoid being hit' - as they get older, they'll understand WHY we tell them not to 'run out in the street' (laws of physics relating to cars vs. kids).

[Mr. P]

Any adult that beats a child should be jailed. PERIOD.

[darin]

That's off-topic, P - but You're right! :)

[Mr. P]

I would bet MONEY my kids would grow up to despise me if I never beat them.


Mr. P Any adult that beats a child should be jailed. PERIOD.


That's off-topic, P - but You're right! :)

So when are you turning yourself in? :)

[Joan]

My grandson - now 13 was diagnosed with both ADHD and ODD. His doctor prescribed Adderal. I don't know what it did for this diagnosis, but tho me it turned him into a walking zombe! He has been off all medication for quite a few years, Most times he's a very loveable kid, but if any of his siblings do something wrong, he get's the blame for it (As the oldest, you should know better) Personally, I think both his parents over overly permissive. He can still be a wise ass at times, but what 13 year old can't?

My take on Ritalin and Adderal is this is where our future drug users are going to come from!

[Trinity]

Here is a prime example of what I have to deal with on a daily basis.

Today Jesse had a football game it was just a scrimmage game not a big deal since it doesn't count.

Jesse was playing tight end on offense and he was not blocking as well as I think he could have been, well his coach starts screaming at him from the side lines Jesse you need to be blocking and paying attention then his coach yells for him to get out of the game when he gets to the side lines the coach leans over grabs the front of his helmet and starts on him about how he needs to be blocking better.

BIG MISTAKE as soon as the coach started yelling at him he shut down, literally, he will no longer do what you expect him to do or what he knows he is supposed to be doing. He will not talk to anyone, he will not answer anyone if they try to talk to him. It's like he closes himself up into a shell and will not come back out until he is ready.

so needless to say Jesse sat on the sidelines for the remainder of that game in his shell.

[Trinity]

You don't respect someone you despise. You may obey out of fear of getting "hit" but that doesn't respect the person/rules.

ok now to get to the reasons why I have to agree here is because my ex husband uses the spanking method for punishment and neither of my my boy's have any respect for him what so ever, they despise him, and only go to his house every other weekend because they have to.

I on the other hand have never had to use spankings as discipline with my boy's and I get a lot more respect out of them then their father has ever gotten.

Both of my boy's will tell you they don't do certain things at their dads house for fear of getting hit. Not out of respect, but out of fear.

[nevadamedic]

Here is a prime example of what I have to deal with on a daily basis.

Today Jesse had a football game it was just a scrimmage game not a big deal since it doesn't count.

Jesse was playing tight end on offense and he was not blocking as well as I think he could have been, well his coach starts screaming at him from the side lines Jesse you need to be blocking and paying attention then his coach yells for him to get out of the game when he gets to the side lines the coach leans over grabs the front of his helmet and starts on him about how he needs to be blocking better.

BIG MISTAKE as soon as the coach started yelling at him he shut down, literally, he will no longer do what you expect him to do or what he knows he is supposed to be doing. He will not talk to anyone, he will not answer anyone if they try to talk to him. It's like he closes himself up into a shell and will not come back out until he is ready.

so needless to say Jesse sat on the sidelines for the remainder of that game in his shell.

Definatly Autism............ If a coach grabbed my helmet like that I would have but my knee into his nutz.

[Trinity]

Definatly Autism............ If a coach grabbed my helmet like that I would have but my knee into his nutz.

I did manage to get Jesse to say one thing when I went over to talk to him. I told him I knew he was pissed off, and to try to calm down and not let it bother him, he looked at me and said yeah I'm pissed off at my coach! and that was the only thing I was able to get out of him for about an hour.

[darin]

So when are you turning yourself in? :)

YAY mister out of context! :) You know I'm talking about "appropriate beatings/spankings" - you're just goofing now.

[actsnoblemartin]

I disagree. I have ocd, add, maybe odd lol, adhd, aspbergurs (mild autism)


I personally don't think these conditions really exist. My opinion is ADD and now the new ODD are labels for spoiled undisciplined kids, or active kids.
Drugging kids is an easy out for parents AND teachers, it's wrong IMO. It's no more than the Dr. Spock of today. We know his results.

Don't be offended T, that is how I see it.

[Trinity]

I disagree. I have ocd, add, maybe odd lol, adhd, aspbergurs (mild autism)

ok so if you have these help me out here.

From what you have read about Jesse so far does it sound similar to you?

And what are you on or what were you on as a child? and Did it help?

[-Cp]

ok so if you have these help me out here.

From what you have read about Jesse so far does it sound similar to you?

And what are you on or what were you on as a child? and Did it help?

My kid had adhd and other other kid disorders until I beat it out of him..

Now he's an "A-student", played guitar in the church band and is rather well adjusted....

[nevadamedic]

ok so if you have these help me out here.

From what you have read about Jesse so far does it sound similar to you?

And what are you on or what were you on as a child? and Did it help?

www.kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/brain/autism.html <~~~~ Read first

www.autism-society.org

www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/autism/detail_autism.htm

www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/autism.cfm

www.medicinenet.com/autism/article.htm

[nevadamedic]

What Does Autism Mean?
Autism (say: aw-tih-zum) causes kids to experience the world differently from the way most other kids do. It's hard for kids with autism to talk with other people and express themselves using words. Kids who have autism usually keep to themselves and many can't communicate without special help.

They also may react to what's going on around them in unusual ways. Normal sounds may really bother someone with autism — so much so that the person covers his or her ears. Being touched, even in a gentle way, may feel uncomfortable.

Kids with autism often can't make connections that other kids make easily. For example, when someone smiles, you know the smiling person is happy or being friendly. But a kid with autism may have trouble connecting that smile with the person's happy feelings.

A kid who has autism also has trouble linking words with their meanings. Imagine trying to understand what your mom is saying if you didn't know what her words really mean. It is doubly frustrating then if a kid can't come up with the right words to express his or her own thoughts.

Autism causes kids to act in unusual ways. They might flap their hands, say certain words over and over, have temper tantrums, or play only with one particular toy. Most kids with autism don't like changes in routines. They like to stay on a schedule that is always the same. They also may insist that their toys or other objects be arranged a certain way and get upset if these items are moved or disturbed.

If someone has autism, his or her brain has trouble with an important job: making sense of the world. Every day, your brain interprets the sights, sounds, smells, and other sensations that you experience. If your brain couldn't help you understand these things, you would have trouble functioning, talking, going to school, and doing other everyday stuff. Kids can be mildly affected by autism, so that they only have a little trouble in life, or they can be very affected, so that they need a lot of help.

What Causes Autism?
Autism affects about 1 in every 150 kids, but no one knows what causes it. Some scientists think that some kids might be more likely to get autism because it or similar disorders run in their families. Knowing the exact cause of autism is hard because the human brain is very complicated.

The brain contains over 100 billion nerve cells called neurons (say: nur-ahns). Each neuron may have hundreds or thousands of connections to other nerve cells in the brain and body. The connections (which are made by releasing neurotransmitters) let different neurons in different areas of the brain — areas that help you see, feel, move, remember, and much more — work together.

For some reason, some of the cells and connections in the brain of a kid with autism — especially those that affect communication, emotions, and senses — don't develop properly or get damaged. Scientists are still trying to understand how and why this happens.

What Do Doctors Do?
Figuring out if a kid has autism can be difficult. A parent is usually the first to suspect that something is wrong. Maybe the kid is old enough to speak but doesn't, doesn't seem interested in people, or behaves in other unusual ways. But autism isn't the only problem that can cause these kinds of symptoms. For example, kids who have hearing problems may have trouble speaking, too.

Usually, lab tests and other medical tests are normal in kids with autism, but doctors may do them to make sure the kid doesn't have other problems. These medical tests may include blood and urine tests, a hearing exam, an EEG (a test to measure brain waves), and an MRI (a picture that shows the structure of the brain). Intelligence (IQ) tests also may be done.

Often, specialists work together as a team to figure out what is wrong. The team might include a pediatrician, a pediatric neurologist, a pediatric developmentalist, a child psychiatrist, a child psychologist, speech and language therapists, and others. The team members study how the child plays, learns, communicates, and behaves. The team listens carefully to what parents have noticed, too. Using the information they've gathered, doctors can decide whether a child has autism or another problem.

How Is Autism Treated?
There is no cure for autism, but doctors, therapists, and special teachers can help kids with autism overcome or adjust to many difficulties. The earlier a kid starts treatment for autism, the better.

Different kids need different kinds of help, but learning how to communicate is always an important first step. Spoken language can be hard for kids with autism to learn. Most understand words better by seeing them, so therapists teach them how to communicate by pointing or using pictures or sign language. That makes learning other things easier, and eventually, many kids with autism learn to talk.

Therapists also help kids learn social skills, such as how to greet people, wait for a turn, and follow directions. Some kids need special help with living skills (like brushing teeth or making a bed). Others have trouble sitting still or controlling their tempers and need therapy to help them control their behavior. Some kids take medications to help their moods and behavior, but there's no medicine for autism.
Students with mild autism sometimes can go to regular school. But most kids with autism need calmer, more orderly surroundings. They also need teachers trained to understand the problems they have with communicating and learning. They may learn at home or in special classes at public or private schools.

Living With Autism
Some kids with mild autism will grow up and be able to live on their own. Those with more serious problems will always need some kind of help. But all kids with autism have brighter futures when they have the support and understanding of doctors, teachers, caregivers, parents, brothers, sisters, and friends.

[Trinity]

My kid had adhd and other other kid disorders until I beat it out of him..

Now he's an "A-student", played guitar in the church band and is rather well adjusted....

Yeah but see that's just it Jesse has always been an A, B student. Until this last quarter.

[Trinity]

Ok so today's incident goes like this................ Jesse and William were down at there friends house playing game cube William came home and said that Jesse was trying to get the controller from him and William wouldn't give it him, so Jesse dove over top of him for the controller, and then punched William in the mouth. I told William to go back to his friends house and tell Jesse very nicely that I wanted him to come home.


A few minutes later Jesse walks into the house walks past me into the kitchen. I am in the living room. I asked him to come into the living room 3 times with no response at all. He finally comes into the living room with a kitchen knife pointed at his stomach. looks at me and my husband and says Goodbye.

I start talking to him calmly, while we both jump up to grab the knife from him. He throws it down and then collapses on the floor crying.


Still think spanking's will fix this problem?

Obviously this child is having way more issues then I first thought! I am so glad I made him an appointment with a psychiatrist this week. Hopefully we can get to the root of the problem.

[nevadamedic]

[QUOTE=Trinity;99895]Ok so today's incident goes like this................ Jesse and William were down at there friends house playing game cube William came home and said that Jesse was trying to get the controller from him and William wouldn't give it him, so Jesse dove over top of him for the controller, and then punched William in the mouth. I told William to go back to his friends house and tell Jesse very nicely that I wanted him to come home.


A few minutes later Jesse walks into the house walks past me into the kitchen. I am in the living room. I asked him to come into the living room 3 times with no response at all. He finally comes into the living room with a kitchen knife pointed at his stomach. looks at me and my husband and says Goodbye.

I start talking to him calmly, while we both jump up to grab the knife from him. He throws it down and then collapses on the floor crying.


Still think spanking's will fix this problem?

Obviously this child is having way more issues then I first thought! I am so glad I made him an appointment with a psychiatrist this week. Hopefully we can get to the root of the problem

You need to take him to the hospital. This has turned into a life threatning problem at this point. Anytime a kid holds a knife up to their stomach and says good bye they need to be hospitalized.

[Trinity]

You need to take him to the hospital. This has turned into a life threatning problem at this point. Anytime a kid holds a knife up to their stomach and says good bye they need to be hospitalized.


Well I did get him to open up a little bit and told him if he did not I was taking him to the hospital. I have also removed all sharp objects from his reach and locked them all up.

[nevadamedic]

Well I did get him to open up a little bit and told him if he did not I was taking him to the hospital. I have also removed all sharp objects from his reach and locked them all up.

It doesn't matter. He has now jumped into the dangerous category. It is for his own safety. There are other ways he can hurt himself and he knows that. Take it from someone who has been down this road many times including losing my best friend of 18 years to something stupid like that. He is crying out for help Trin. If nothing else they can get doctors to come in while he is there and they will be able to figure out what is going on with him. Trust me you don't want to live with the guilt if something god forbids happens. It was bad enough my best friend who was like a brother to me, I could hardly imagine my daughter.

Not many people know this but I tried to kill myself after my best friend died, because I am to blame for it happening, and ive lived with that guilt every single minute of every single day and it got to much to where I overdosed on a bunch of medication trying to take my life. If my mom hadn't forgotten something and found me lying on the kitchen floor unconcious I wouldn't be here today. I don't even remember anything but waking up in ICU a few days later.

[jackass]

It doesn't matter. He has now jumped into the dangerous category. It is for his own safety.

I have to agree with NM on this one! Get him some help now!

[-Cp]

Well I did get him to open up a little bit and told him if he did not I was taking him to the hospital. I have also removed all sharp objects from his reach and locked them all up.

I'd HIGHLY recommend these books:
http://www.amazon.com/New-Dare-Discipline-James-Dobson/dp/0842305068

http://www.amazon.com/Strong-Willed-Child-Birth-Through-Adolescence/dp/0842359249

[LiberalNation]

Still think spanking's will fix this problem?
Nope that's the last thing you want to do. It would just drive him to kill himself. People who think hitting kids will fix their every behavior problem are crazy.