What do you do

[jimnyc]

If an old old old friend from many moons ago, contacts you out of the blue (worked with them over 15 years ago) - their life sucks now. This person asks for you to cosign for a loan.

Obviously, I know the answer already, but it's still a touchy subject. How do you say no, and is there any other way of offering help outside of that? This person used to live in Jersey but now lives in Cali!! :(

[Gunny]

If an old old old friend from many moons ago, contacts you out of the blue (worked with them over 15 years ago) - their life sucks now. This person asks for you to cosign for a loan.

Obviously, I know the answer already, but it's still a touchy subject. How do you say no, and is there any other way of offering help outside of that? This person used to live in Jersey but now lives in Cali!! :(

Say no. If you got to feel all sensitive about it, make up some stuff that ties up all your funds. All else fails, blame the wife.

[CSM]

just tell them all your funds are tied up in your heroin addiction...

[hjmick]

If you respond with anything other than "Fuck no" I question your sanity.


Now, go down to the Humor section and watch the video I posted yesterday...

[Drummond]

If an old old old friend from many moons ago, contacts you out of the blue (worked with them over 15 years ago) - their life sucks now. This person asks for you to cosign for a loan.

Obviously, I know the answer already, but it's still a touchy subject. How do you say no, and is there any other way of offering help outside of that? This person used to live in Jersey but now lives in Cali!! :(

You surely say 'no' (if in fact you choose to) because you cannot sell out your own interests in favour of that friend in any way that compromises them. If your friend were truly a friend, he'd be motivated to see your point of view. If he cannot, or, refuses to ... then his worth as a friend can be called into question, which in turn answers whether you should consider his situation anyway !

Other ways of offering help would depend on what was true of that friend's circumstances, and range of options available as a result. There may be no one definitive answer.

[jimnyc]

Say no. If you got to feel all sensitive about it, make up some stuff that ties up all your funds. All else fails, blame the wife.

I may just go straight to blaming the wife. Not sure why I didn't think of that right off the bat anyway.


just tell them all your funds are tied up in your heroin addiction...

:lol: That's funny. Not only will that solve the money issue, but no doubt I'll probably never hear from her again!


If you respond with anything other than "Fuck no" I question your sanity.


Now, go down to the Humor section and watch the video I posted yesterday...

My sanity went out the window a long time back, but the indirect is all she's getting anyway. :) I just have trouble saying no at times, I just feel bad for people. I suck. Rides, borrowing money that I never see again, train tickets... I have a buddy hear near me, all of those things. and I have so much trouble saying no. The only way I can is by ignoring him and not answering the phone or similar. But once face to face, or on the phone, not sure why but I have extreme difficulty in saying no to people. :( :(

[jimnyc]

You surely say 'no' (if in fact you choose to) because you cannot sell out your own interests in favour of that friend in any way that compromises them. If your friend were truly a friend, he'd be motivated to see your point of view. If he cannot, or, refuses to ... then his worth as a friend can be called into question, which in turn answers whether you should consider his situation anyway !

Other ways of offering help would depend on what was true of that friend's circumstances, and range of options available as a result. There may be no one definitive answer.

I agree buddy. :(

[Gunny]

I may just go straight to blaming the wife. Not sure why I didn't think of that right off the bat anyway.



:lol: That's funny. Not only will that solve the money issue, but no doubt I'll probably never hear from her again!



My sanity went out the window a long time back, but the indirect is all she's getting anyway. :) I just have trouble saying no at times, I just feel bad for people. I suck. Rides, borrowing money that I never see again, train tickets... I have a buddy hear near me, all of those things. and I have so much trouble saying no. The only way I can is by ignoring him and not answering the phone or similar. But once face to face, or on the phone, not sure why but I have extreme difficulty in saying no to people. :( :(

No one said it was easy to say no. In this case though, your decision affects no just you, but could affect your income and THAT is where you affect your entire family.

[Abbey Marie]

This is about as good an idea as wiring funds to a Nigerian Prince. And less financially fruitful.
I would tell him I never mix money and friends.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

I agree buddy. :(

Send that old friend back a reply saying you are tapped out and asking, -- could you instead loan me couple thousand until I get to feeling better!
Works every time, as very quickly you are cast into the dustbin of history and never hear from that old friend again..-:laugh:
I know, I've had to do that a few times to get rid of old friends that turned to drugs..
I never will loan even a penny to anybody hooked on drugs, booze or gold digging women....-Tyr

[NightTrain]

Absolutely not.

[Elessar]

I would say NO.

I've loaned tools and fishing gear to friends that got returned broken.

I've loaned money and books that I have never seen again.

[jimnyc]

Definitely no cosigning and definitely not a penny leaving my pocket. I guess I was hoping to do just that, but also find a way to be helpful. Can't see that happening.

[sundaydriver]

If an old old old friend from many moons ago, contacts you out of the blue (worked with them over 15 years ago) - their life sucks now. This person asks for you to cosign for a loan.

Obviously, I know the answer already, but it's still a touchy subject. How do you say no, and is there any other way of offering help outside of that? This person used to live in Jersey but now lives in Cali!! :(

Tell him how your life is now. After he stops crying he may send you a few bucks to cheer you up!

[Kathianne]

I figure someone I haven't seen or spoken with over 15 years isn't really a friend. Best to leave them in the past, on their own. ;)

[jimnyc]

Tell him how your life is now. After he stops crying he may send you a few bucks to cheer you up!

That's cold, rough!! LOL

[sundaydriver]

That's cold, rough!! LOL

Embellish a little. :laugh:

[gabosaurus]

If an old old old friend from many moons ago, contacts you out of the blue (worked with them over 15 years ago) - their life sucks now. This person asks for you to cosign for a loan.

Obviously, I know the answer already, but it's still a touchy subject. How do you say no, and is there any other way of offering help outside of that? This person used to live in Jersey but now lives in Cali!! :(

"Sorry, but we have slipped out of touch and I don't know you that well any more. And I have my own family to think of."

[aboutime]

It's always hard to simply say NO. But, nothing separates family, and friends quicker than LENDING them money, co-signing for something, or expecting to be repaid after handing someone cash, or help.
If the person has reached a point in life when they seek you out, from long ago. That alone should be a huge RED FLAG.
Unless you are very wealthy, and do not expect to be repaid, even after your CREDIT is destroyed because you Co-signed. It's best to just DECLINE. Tell the truth. Don't make any story up. Once you sign your life over to them. YOU are the one who PAYS. They will call it a gift. You will call it a loan, and YOU'LL NEVER HEAR FROM THEM AGAIN.