Mom Writes Important Message to Parents After No One Came to Her Son’s Party 5 / 18

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/family-relationships/mom-writes-important-message-to-parents-after-no-one-came-to-her-son%e2%80%99s-party/ar-AAjHaQs?li=BBnbfcL&ocid=SK2ADHP



Mom Writes Important Message to Parents After No One Came to Her Son’s Party 5 / 18


Bruno Mars is seen on Oct. 31, 2016 in London, England.
Bruno Mars, Mark Ronson slapped with lawsuit
After No One Came to Her Son's Party, a Mom Wrote an Important Message to Parents © Life on Peanut Layne After No One Came to Her Son's Party, a Mom Wrote an Important Message to Parents

A little common courtesy can prevent a whole lot of heartbreak. An Oregon mom posted an important note begging parents to practice a little decency after her son's birthday party ended in tears.

Kristen Layne, the blogger behind Life on Peanut Layne, promised her 9-year-old this would be "his first real party with friends." Mahlon was previously home-schooled before attending public school this year, so the two of them planned a special day with his new classmates. Mahlon's favorite book is Diary of a Wimpy Kid, so they prepared themed invitations, games and a cake.

While Layne never heard back from any of the parents, she assumed some kids would still attend. The same thing had happened with her daughter's party earlier this month. "Nobody seems to RSVP these days," her husband said. "Don't worry, they'll come. Kids love birthday parties." Except, the party came and went - and not one child bothered to show up.

"Words cannot describe the utter and complete devastation that washed over me, my husband and my nearly 70-year-old father, who was almost brought to tears himself," she later wrote on her blog. "Seeing my heartbroken little boy sitting all alone at his brightly decorated, empty party table was more than I could take."


While Layne commiserated with her little boy, she took the opportunity to add an important message to parents everywhere: "It could've all been avoided by a simple RSVP, via phone call, text, email, whatever, etc. I know I will definitely never ignore those four little letters ever again. Parents or caregivers, please, I beg you not to ignore it either."

Her important reminder resonated with moms and dads across the country, including some that endured the same terrible experience. "Sadly I know exactly how you feel," one commenter wrote. "I have a soon-to-be 8-year-old and he as of yet has not had a major birthday party where kids come."

While Mahlon's party was undoubtedly disappointing, his birthday eventually turned around. Word reached Jeff Kinney, the author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, who gave the fan a virtual tour of his office via FaceTime.

Strangers across the country have also reached out, sending cards and gifts to the Layne family. If you'd also like to mail Mahlon a birthday message, you can send one here:


If that had happened to my son, I'd went ballistic over the phone with some parents for their lack of decency.
I feel very sorry for that child....
This is yet another indicator of just how ffed up our society has become.
We almost always let the parents know if we are unable to attend.
Sometimes they send an invitation with little or no other contact information other than the home address.
If that is the case, then they can not expect a person to track them down to decline the invitation.

[Abbey Marie]

I feel badly for this boy, and the other families aren't very nice, but two points:

1. By homeschooling, then switching to regular school, this child was behind the eight ball in making friends. The other kids probably had already formed friendships over the years in school. I am def not against homeschooling, but he should have made friends with other homeschoolers by then. Didn't Mom & Dad socialize him?

2. Dad, in trying to alleviate his wife's anxiety, messed up here. Getting no answer to an RSVP does not = yes. And a couple of phone calls to determine whether they were coming could have also avoided the problem.

[Elessar]

If that had happened to my son, I'd went ballistic over the phone with some parents for their lack of decency.
I feel very sorry for that child....
This is yet another indicator of just how ffed up our society has become.
We almost always let the parents know if we are unable to attend.
Sometimes they send an invitation with little or no other contact information other than the home address.
If that is the case, then they can not expect a person to track them down to decline the invitation.

Well...although I see your points in some ways..


I feel badly for this boy, and the other families aren't very nice, but two points:

1. By homeschooling, then switching to regular school, this child was behind the eight ball in making friends. The other kids probably had already formed friendships over the years in school. I am def not against homeschooling, but he should have made friends with other homeschoolers by then. Didn't Mom & Dad socialize him?

2. Dad, in trying to alleviate his wife's anxiety, messed up here. Getting no answer to an RSVP does not = yes. And a couple of phone calls to determine whether they were coming could have also avoided the problem.

...I have to agree with Abbey. Lack of socializing with his peer group could have easily created this mess. This exactly
why I was against my Ex's insistence that our son be home-schooled.

[Kathianne]

I feel badly for this boy, and the other families aren't very nice, but two points:

1. By homeschooling, then switching to regular school, this child was behind the eight ball in making friends. The other kids probably had already formed friendships over the years in school. I am def not against homeschooling, but he should have made friends with other homeschoolers by then. Didn't Mom & Dad socialize him?

2. Dad, in trying to alleviate his wife's anxiety, messed up here. Getting no answer to an RSVP does not = yes. And a couple of phone calls to determine whether they were coming could have also avoided the problem.

I have to agree with you, seems the parent has poor social skills herself. One also needs to wonder why homeschooling then in 3rd grade to make a transition? Most transitioning from homeschooling to regular school happens at middle school or high school, if it's going to happen. This just sounds odd to me.

I worry more about kids that are having a terrible time in regular school, then parents pull out to homeschool, without having thought through what it involves. Often it ends up being not much schooling.

I'm pro-homeschooling, but it's not something to enter into without thought, planning, knowing your personality and the kids. As all have noted, it's important to also have the kids getting together with others, both structured and unstructured.

It also seems to me that perhaps the mom and maybe the son had little idea of who he was friends with and not? Home parties by nature should have been held to the true 'friends' category; it's 'outside venues' that are 'whole class invites' and expensive.

[darin]

Did they really name their kid Mahlon?

[Abbey Marie]

Did they really name their kid Mahlon?

Not surprisingly for homeschoolers, it's Biblical.

[Kathianne]

Not surprisingly for homeschoolers, it's Biblical.

The 'religious factor' is not as prevalent as it was in the past. Many are homeschooling today for reasons that have to do with education; others on fear of dangers in public schools, including IMO an overemphasis by the news regarding 'bullying.'

From 1999-2012 the number of homeschoolers over doubled:

http://asumag.com/business-finance/about-18-million-k-12-students-are-homeschooled-government-survey-says


About 1.8 million K-12 students are homeschooled, government survey saysNov 1, 2016





Mike Kennedy (http://asumag.com/author/mike-kennedy) | American School and University

[Abbey Marie]

I'm sure there are a wide variety of reasons for homeschooling these days.
There is this, though it is no guarantee the child will remain religious as an adult:


According to surveys conducted by the National Center for Education Statistics, 91% of homeschooling parents are more concerned about the environment of schools and want to offer a religious (64%) and/or moral (77%) alternative.

https://newrepublic.com/article/122987/does-homeschooling-make-children-more-religious

Anecdotally, (and much less relevant I'm sure), every homeschooled child I've known is the child of evangelicals. And interestingly, in line with the article, most as adults are non- religious; some even non-believers.

[Kathianne]

I'm sure there are a wide variety of reasons for homeschooling these days.
There is this, though it is no guarantee the child will remain religious as an adult:



https://newrepublic.com/article/122987/does-homeschooling-make-children-more-religious

Anecdotally, (and much less relevant I'm sure), every homeschooled child I've known is the child of evangelicals. And interestingly, in line with the article, most as adults are non- religious; some even non-believers.

I'll make a guess on why you're more likely to run into the evangelicals than any others. You likely live in an area with good schools, supported by high land values. Morality and political indoctrination would be of obvious concern, 'highly qualified' teachers in good school districts do tend to be very liberal-which impact both morality and politics and their ability to influence. They are not going to have the behavior issues found in less middle-high income areas. Parents are going to be involved, often reflecting the values of the teachers.

That pretty much also describes the areas I lived in/taught in while in IL.

AZ? Not so much, at least outside of Phoenix/surrounding suburbs. Low density, lower income, less opportunities for young people to be involved in more wholesome activities. Higher drug abuse, less stable families, high percentage of non-English speaking students (both Hispanic/Native American).

Parents here tend to homeschool, certainly driving up the average numbers of homeschoolers I would surmise.

[darin]

I think they set the kid up to be friendless. Maybe the kid is a dick?

[fj1200]

The courtesy of an RSVP would not have solved the underlying problem here.

[sundaydriver]

Reddit did a question on home schooling recently asking the kids what it was like. A good number of the kids lamented their lack of social skills along with lack of friends due to starting home schooling too early an age and overly protected by at least one parent. I imagine one or both parents lack the same social skills themselves. But, not replying to the RSVP should get them beaten over the head with the Emily Post Etiquette Book!

[Kathianne]

Reddit did a question on home schooling recently asking the kids what it was like. A good number of the kids lamented their lack of social skills along with lack of friends due to starting home schooling too early an age and overly protected by at least one parent. I imagine one or both parents lack the same social skills themselves. But, not replying to the RSVP should get them beaten over the head with the Emily Post Etiquette Book!

I think it's more likely that parents that aren't terribly social might pass those traits onto their children. This happens in regular schools too. Now out of the whole population of 'homeschool parents' are a greater percentage of them less socially adept than the general population? I haven't a clue, my guess is though one way to avoid social interaction is to 'stay home.'

My daughter and husband are tilting towards homeschooling, though their daughter is only 2. She's already a stay-at-home mom and he mostly works from home. Now my daughter is far from non-social, lol. She belongs to 3 mom/kid groups that she got into from friends of hers; goes to weekly library story times; they have family passes to just about all the museums and zoos in Chicago area and at least once a month goes with a friend, their kids, and Ali. They are close to their families, including brother with child and several cousins with multiple kids. I'd say they get together at least every other month or so, more with her brother.

As I discussed with Abbey earlier, more and more parents are choosing to homeschool for a variety of reasons, it's not just about religious beliefs or even being exposed to perspectives the parents do not agree with. Many are doing so because they believe the schools are not giving a complete education-even in the best of schools. Short of boarding schools or superlative private schools, they figure they can do better and many do.

Costs certainly come into play, I've not a clue to what boarding school costs, but my best friend is the principal of the middle school at one of those 'classical private schools' in Chicago area. They do offer a 10% discount for 3rd and more siblings-not 2nd. Tuition from PS-8th grade is $33k per year. Fees for upper grades are high for various subjects. High school is more.

All of the teachers are exceptional, most have multiple masters, over half have PhDs. All students take Latin and another foreign language. They use the Great Books program and history, geography are taught as related but separate subjects. English, Social Studies, and Science are taught as blocks. All students have to play a musical instrument and the art program is excellent.

Yes, most of the students go onto top tier colleges, obviously their parents are able to afford it. The high school offers all the AP courses, plus students are able to take college courses at a nearby school. The school day is from 7-4. There are no institutes and mostly they do not take off for non-major holidays. They have a month 'off' for Christmas, but have to complete and present a major project over that time. Over the summer, they have to complete an 'interim' project. It certainly is more rigorous than any regular school today I know of. Some students balk at how much more time they are in school, the amount of homework, and the longer school year and some eventually leave.

Obviously most parents cannot teach Latin or a foreign language of the kid's choice. My friend, my daughter's godmother, told them to look into Rosetta Stone Latin for home schools. They can always utilize outside tutors or universities if the need/desire is there.

Bottom line, Ali would do well in a regular school or a home school situation. Her parents are very involved and are family centered. If she is in a regular school, they would be there for volunteering and any activities she is involved in. If there were unforeseen problems, in regular schools or if doing it at home, they have the resources and wherewithal to call upon them. I'd say they are fairly typical of many home schoolers found in middle-upper middle families choosing to homeschool today. They believe that they can give her a more complete education at home, in a shorter amount of time than is spent in regular schools or even the 'elite schools,' for a much more reasonable cost. I know they are already reaching out to home school groups to see if they can find some support that also feels like a 'good fit' for them.