Ass kicking

[jimnyc]

Perhaps the best ever ebay advertisement!!!

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Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6'0" and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarantee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions:

1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking),
2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine).

Buyer provides round-trip plane ticket to the nearest airport, as well as cab fare to your house and back. If you are not close to an airport, you may provide me with a train ticket or other means of transportation. Do not pick me up, as I will be attacking you completely randomly. Buyer must also provide good, clear directions to their house, as well as any business expenses for if I need to stay in a hotel or buy food for myself during the trip. Most likely though I will just fly in, kick your ass, and then leave.

Upon my arrival, I will select a random time to come over and kick your ass. It may be when you are sleeping, or showering, or any other time during the day/night when you are most vulnerable. During this beating I may damage one or more of your household items, if I have to break glass to get into your home or knock over furniture if you attempt to run from me. This should be expected by you, and covered in my expenses. If you are married or have children, I may choose to slap around your family a little bit, but only if I'm feeling particularly generous. They should be informed of this, and expect it as well.

Bidding starts at one cent ($0.01) but remember the winner must pay all expenses for my travel if they wish for me to come and kick their ass.

I will accept check, money order, or Paypal. Or you could just let me use your valid credit card for a few days and we'll call it even.

[Perianne]

People are weird.

[jimnyc]

People are weird.


The worst part? I think people bid on it before it was closed down by Ebay!! This was many years back though.

[indago]

Reminds me years ago of the Hustler smallest penis contest. The grand prize was a brand new .357 Magnum pistol you could use to blow your brains out with.

[Gunny]

Perhaps the best ever ebay advertisement!!!

-----

Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6'0" and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarantee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions:

1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking),
2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine).

Buyer provides round-trip plane ticket to the nearest airport, as well as cab fare to your house and back. If you are not close to an airport, you may provide me with a train ticket or other means of transportation. Do not pick me up, as I will be attacking you completely randomly. Buyer must also provide good, clear directions to their house, as well as any business expenses for if I need to stay in a hotel or buy food for myself during the trip. Most likely though I will just fly in, kick your ass, and then leave.

Upon my arrival, I will select a random time to come over and kick your ass. It may be when you are sleeping, or showering, or any other time during the day/night when you are most vulnerable. During this beating I may damage one or more of your household items, if I have to break glass to get into your home or knock over furniture if you attempt to run from me. This should be expected by you, and covered in my expenses. If you are married or have children, I may choose to slap around your family a little bit, but only if I'm feeling particularly generous. They should be informed of this, and expect it as well.

Bidding starts at one cent ($0.01) but remember the winner must pay all expenses for my travel if they wish for me to come and kick their ass.

I will accept check, money order, or Paypal. Or you could just let me use your valid credit card for a few days and we'll call it even.

Hitting that coffee again, huh? :laugh:

Where the f- did you come up with THIS one? And I got got bruised ribs so (A) you have to wait and (B) stop making me f-ing laugh. :laugh::laugh:

[jimnyc]

Hitting that coffee again, huh? :laugh:

Where the f- did you come up with THIS one? And I got got bruised ribs so (A) you have to wait and (B) stop making me f-ing laugh. :laugh::laugh:

I just remember reading it from years ago. Funny stuff!! :2up:

And yeah, I think I made it 2, or maybe 3 days with only drinking one cup of caffeinated coffee then hitting decaf. EFF THAT. Maybe after I get my prostate checked and am told I'm going to die, but I need the damn coffee. One damn cup at 6am and then what the hell am I supposed to do? How do they expect me to be coherent the rest of the day? So today, I'm on number 5, and usually stop at about noon, so that I can sleep at 10pm. I don't know if the lack of sleep is the worst, or me being a non-stop peeing machine.

[Gunny]

I just remember reading it from years ago. Funny stuff!! :2up:

And yeah, I think I made it 2, or maybe 3 days with only drinking one cup of caffeinated coffee then hitting decaf. EFF THAT. Maybe after I get my prostate checked and am told I'm going to die, but I need the damn coffee. One damn cup at 6am and then what the hell am I supposed to do? How do they expect me to be coherent the rest of the day? So today, I'm on number 5, and usually stop at about noon, so that I can sleep at 10pm. I don't know if the lack of sleep is the worst, or me being a non-stop peeing machine.

Drinking decaf is LIKE getting your prostate checked.

[jimnyc]

Drinking decaf is LIKE getting your prostate checked.

Wanted: Extremely small asian woman, who may have had half of her finger decapitated. Needed for one time prostate exam.

[Gunny]

Wanted: Extremely small asian woman, who may have had half of her finger decapitated. Needed for one time prostate exam.

I got news for you bubba .... small Asian women permeate the Navy and it wouldn't be a first for me. :laugh:

[Abbey Marie]

Oh puh-leeze. You whiners have nothing to complain about. Try a visit to the gynecologist.

:laugh2:

[jimnyc]

Oh puh-leeze. You whiners have nothing to complain about. Try a visit to the gynecologist.

:laugh2:

Yeah, I don't think so! It's bad enough when the doctor tells you to lay down and turn sideways. But the day one tells me to put my legs up in the stir ups, is the day I beat the crap out of a doctor! :laugh:

[Gunny]

Yeah, I don't think so! It's bad enough when the doctor tells you to lay down and turn sideways. But the day one tells me to put my legs up in the stir ups, is the day I beat the crap out of a doctor! :laugh:

Try the military. Lay down nothing. It's bend the f- over. And they don't spare the juice. Crap's running out you the rest of the day.

And here's how THIS argument goes (called lose/lose): Small Filipino doctor: Oh, so you'd rather me get a guy to come in here and stick his finger up you a$$? :smoke::smoke::smoke:

[jimnyc]

Try the military. Lay down nothing. It's bend the f- over. And they don't spare the juice. Crap's running out you the rest of the day.

And here's how THIS argument goes (called lose/lose): Small Filipino doctor: Oh, so you'd rather me get a guy to come in here and stick his finger up you a$$? :smoke::smoke::smoke:

I would have had my ass kicked on day one in the military. They tell me to just bend over and I would have cracked up, said no way, probably had my ass kicked, and then woke up with a sore butt!!

[Gunny]

I would have had my ass kicked on day one in the military. They tell me to just bend over and I would have cracked up, said no way, probably had my ass kicked, and then woke up with a sore butt!!

I GOT mine kicked on day one :laugh2:

I was high as kite, drunker'n hell, and you get to MCRD about 2AM. I was NOT the drill instructor's favorite guy.

Fast forward 13 years I was that Drill Instructor. And there's ALWAYS someone that's going to make your day. :) And dude, I used to have about 2 POTS of coffee down by that time. I was Mr F-ing Happy. :coffee: