reason10
11-17-2015, 12:20 AM
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]-->
PROLOGUE
“If you could read my mind”
I think that’s a song. Didn’t some soft rock folk singer release it in the late Sixties? Maybe in 1970, the year I was born. It has been so long. I think his name was Gordon Lightfoot. Anyway, I loved that song. The lyrics were so soothing, so peaceful. Trust me when I tell you that reading minds is anything but soothing and peaceful. For certain persons, the ability to read minds is maybe the closest thing to Hell on Earth. And I ought to know.
Oh, by the way, there are a few facts I need to bring you up to speed on, since I’m dictating this story in the hopes of keeping out of prison. Just to present the fact pattern. Definitely sounds like a lawyer, doesn’t it? Fact pattern. Who else talks that way?
My name is Roger Dumas. You probably heard of me after that Sixty Minutes episode. Yes, I know. Supposedly an Alexander Dumas wrote The Three Musketeers in 1844. I don’t think I’m any relation to the author. But that didn’t stop all those kids in the eighth grade from teasing me about my name. I would enter a room and any one of ten of those young scholars would get an instant howl of laughter by pointing at me and saying “Here comes dumb ass.” You think that’s bad? Try dealing with it when you can’t shut those voices off. Just imagine living for a few years with 100 scrambled voices coming at you every time you enter a crowded hallway. Yes, I’m THAT Roger Dumas.
I have the ability to read minds. And I am a lawyer. Maybe I should say I was one, because in addition to whatever other legal problems I face, there is the problem of the Bar Association. I have to meet with them in a few weeks to answer for my actions. It’s going to be relatively easy for me because I already know that I haven’t violated any of the canons of professional ethics.
And there’s no way I’ll forget because in that hearing I’m going to be in front of lawyers and judges who practically have those ethics memorized. It’ll be easy enough to just pick their brains. For real, actually. And even though they understand that I’m able to do this, most of them won’t believe it. And those who may believe won’t realize that I’ll be reading their minds during the hearing. They can’t order me not to because there’s nothing in the law or the canon that addresses such a thing. And I won’t let on that I’m doing it.
Now you’re probably shaking your head, even if you saw that Sixty Minutes episode. All the things you’ve heard about mind readers, all the legends? Supposedly they are all magicians. Maybe they all work at the circus. And of course, there are the alleged psychics who claim to be able to read your mind as well as converse with your recently deceased relatives. By the way, up to this point I have denied the ability to read minds. I was advised at an early age not to reveal this. Over the years, the advice wore thin and was replaced by a desire for privacy.
This document is going to be my first public admission of this ability. A couple of things you need to understand before I go much further. My life started out complicated and began to get even more complicated when I discovered I wasn’t the only mind reader walking the earth. In fact, there are a lot more than you would believe. My buddy Shane said that in the state of Florida there are maybe 100. Out of that hundred, maybe 30 are in a mental institution. Seriously, you say? Absolutely.
Mind reading is more of a proactive process than you might think. It’s more than just getting people’s thoughts. The first thing you have to do is learn to shut most of them off. The novice mind reader basically gets no rest whatsoever, no break from the noise. Thoughts do not present themselves as regular voices. Voices are something you hear with your ears, with a very specific sense called hearing. And if there are too many voices coming at you, or if they are too loud, your ears scramble the message to the brain. They distort. And that’s the cue that you need to tell some people to shut the hell up and not all talk at once.
Thoughts do not take any physical form. They just present themselves as information in your brain, all unique and all crystal clear. If you’re in the room with ten people, there are ten sets of thoughts coming at you. You don’t just hear what they’re thinking. They won’t shut up. And you can’t tell them to shut up because they won’t understand what you’re talking about. And because they have absolutely no control over their thoughts. That’s right. You have to develop a very thick skin because it’s all unfiltered. They have to craft what they’re going to physically tell you, with all the societal filters that come with polite company. But they can look at you without opening their mouths and you’ll get a very clear mental message of them calling you every variety of asshole known to man. They don’t really mean to insult you. They just don’t know that you have a WIFI to their consciousness.
Maybe 30 mind readers are in mental institutions because they can’t shut the voices off. Ever hear of someone in a public place freak out and yell “Make the voices stop!!!!” He’s probably a mind reader. I started hearing the voices when I turned five. I was lucky to have Shane as a friend. He taught me the basics of how to turn those voices off and how to go prospecting for information. Without him and his father, my parents would have believed I was going crazy.
Oh, that’s right. You don’t know. Shane Melrose is my best friend in the world. Well, he was my best friend in the world. Right now he is lying on a slab in the morgue. Don’t worry. I haven’t been accused of murdering him. But the circumstances surrounding how he died is kind of the reason why I’m in this situation, having to narrate a story that even now I’m having trouble believing. I’ll get him later as this thing unfolds. You could say he’s the reason I’m sane today. By the way, he is not the reason all this is coming out.
It’s very likely that my life is over, due to all the publicity. But it’s not his fault. Think I can get any kind of a job anywhere, after that Sixty Minutes episode? Really? Think a Ford or a Kia dealership will hire me, being famous with this ability? Think customers would want to get anywhere near me, knowing I can read their minds? Think I’ll be welcome at all in the city of Las Vegas? Think about it for a moment. Nevada is the only state in the union with debtor’s prison. And the casinos will think nothing of kicking out a player who engages in card counting In case you’re wonder about that, I’m talking about blackjack. Sixty Minutes had an episode about card counting, where some professional gamblers actually manage to keep a tally of cards dealt. The idea is to know when a bust is coming or when a blackjack is coming and when to bet. For a while card counters made out like bandits. Then dealers were told to just shuffle the deck after each hand, which pretty much renders card counting useless. These days, the casinos will just ask you to leave if they think you’re card counting. Just imagine what they would do if they thought you could read minds. Jeez! Here I am talking about card counters, and life as I know it is about to change drastically, and not for the better.
So for better or worse, here is what happened. I’m pretty good at telling a story. Most lawyers are very good at telling stories. They certainly have a knack for telling great stories to juries. They have a knack for convincing juries to either let a child rapist go free for lack of evidence, or to award several million dollars to some old lady for splashing hot coffee in her lap at a drive-through. I don’t know if I’m that good a lawyer or I just have this unfair advantage.
I don’t suppose it matters any more. What judge in what courtroom would allow me to practice, even if the Bar cleared me of any wrongdoing? I should mention that there was a single incident that made all of this mess possible. Exactly what happened I’m not sure I’m willing to reveal. I don’t know if I want the world to know this because the people who let the cat out of the bag aren’t very nice people. They are very powerful, though. And I might keep them secret because of that. We’ll see. I’ll play it by ear as I get through this narration. <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id=ieooui></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]-->
PROLOGUE
“If you could read my mind”
I think that’s a song. Didn’t some soft rock folk singer release it in the late Sixties? Maybe in 1970, the year I was born. It has been so long. I think his name was Gordon Lightfoot. Anyway, I loved that song. The lyrics were so soothing, so peaceful. Trust me when I tell you that reading minds is anything but soothing and peaceful. For certain persons, the ability to read minds is maybe the closest thing to Hell on Earth. And I ought to know.
Oh, by the way, there are a few facts I need to bring you up to speed on, since I’m dictating this story in the hopes of keeping out of prison. Just to present the fact pattern. Definitely sounds like a lawyer, doesn’t it? Fact pattern. Who else talks that way?
My name is Roger Dumas. You probably heard of me after that Sixty Minutes episode. Yes, I know. Supposedly an Alexander Dumas wrote The Three Musketeers in 1844. I don’t think I’m any relation to the author. But that didn’t stop all those kids in the eighth grade from teasing me about my name. I would enter a room and any one of ten of those young scholars would get an instant howl of laughter by pointing at me and saying “Here comes dumb ass.” You think that’s bad? Try dealing with it when you can’t shut those voices off. Just imagine living for a few years with 100 scrambled voices coming at you every time you enter a crowded hallway. Yes, I’m THAT Roger Dumas.
I have the ability to read minds. And I am a lawyer. Maybe I should say I was one, because in addition to whatever other legal problems I face, there is the problem of the Bar Association. I have to meet with them in a few weeks to answer for my actions. It’s going to be relatively easy for me because I already know that I haven’t violated any of the canons of professional ethics.
And there’s no way I’ll forget because in that hearing I’m going to be in front of lawyers and judges who practically have those ethics memorized. It’ll be easy enough to just pick their brains. For real, actually. And even though they understand that I’m able to do this, most of them won’t believe it. And those who may believe won’t realize that I’ll be reading their minds during the hearing. They can’t order me not to because there’s nothing in the law or the canon that addresses such a thing. And I won’t let on that I’m doing it.
Now you’re probably shaking your head, even if you saw that Sixty Minutes episode. All the things you’ve heard about mind readers, all the legends? Supposedly they are all magicians. Maybe they all work at the circus. And of course, there are the alleged psychics who claim to be able to read your mind as well as converse with your recently deceased relatives. By the way, up to this point I have denied the ability to read minds. I was advised at an early age not to reveal this. Over the years, the advice wore thin and was replaced by a desire for privacy.
This document is going to be my first public admission of this ability. A couple of things you need to understand before I go much further. My life started out complicated and began to get even more complicated when I discovered I wasn’t the only mind reader walking the earth. In fact, there are a lot more than you would believe. My buddy Shane said that in the state of Florida there are maybe 100. Out of that hundred, maybe 30 are in a mental institution. Seriously, you say? Absolutely.
Mind reading is more of a proactive process than you might think. It’s more than just getting people’s thoughts. The first thing you have to do is learn to shut most of them off. The novice mind reader basically gets no rest whatsoever, no break from the noise. Thoughts do not present themselves as regular voices. Voices are something you hear with your ears, with a very specific sense called hearing. And if there are too many voices coming at you, or if they are too loud, your ears scramble the message to the brain. They distort. And that’s the cue that you need to tell some people to shut the hell up and not all talk at once.
Thoughts do not take any physical form. They just present themselves as information in your brain, all unique and all crystal clear. If you’re in the room with ten people, there are ten sets of thoughts coming at you. You don’t just hear what they’re thinking. They won’t shut up. And you can’t tell them to shut up because they won’t understand what you’re talking about. And because they have absolutely no control over their thoughts. That’s right. You have to develop a very thick skin because it’s all unfiltered. They have to craft what they’re going to physically tell you, with all the societal filters that come with polite company. But they can look at you without opening their mouths and you’ll get a very clear mental message of them calling you every variety of asshole known to man. They don’t really mean to insult you. They just don’t know that you have a WIFI to their consciousness.
Maybe 30 mind readers are in mental institutions because they can’t shut the voices off. Ever hear of someone in a public place freak out and yell “Make the voices stop!!!!” He’s probably a mind reader. I started hearing the voices when I turned five. I was lucky to have Shane as a friend. He taught me the basics of how to turn those voices off and how to go prospecting for information. Without him and his father, my parents would have believed I was going crazy.
Oh, that’s right. You don’t know. Shane Melrose is my best friend in the world. Well, he was my best friend in the world. Right now he is lying on a slab in the morgue. Don’t worry. I haven’t been accused of murdering him. But the circumstances surrounding how he died is kind of the reason why I’m in this situation, having to narrate a story that even now I’m having trouble believing. I’ll get him later as this thing unfolds. You could say he’s the reason I’m sane today. By the way, he is not the reason all this is coming out.
It’s very likely that my life is over, due to all the publicity. But it’s not his fault. Think I can get any kind of a job anywhere, after that Sixty Minutes episode? Really? Think a Ford or a Kia dealership will hire me, being famous with this ability? Think customers would want to get anywhere near me, knowing I can read their minds? Think I’ll be welcome at all in the city of Las Vegas? Think about it for a moment. Nevada is the only state in the union with debtor’s prison. And the casinos will think nothing of kicking out a player who engages in card counting In case you’re wonder about that, I’m talking about blackjack. Sixty Minutes had an episode about card counting, where some professional gamblers actually manage to keep a tally of cards dealt. The idea is to know when a bust is coming or when a blackjack is coming and when to bet. For a while card counters made out like bandits. Then dealers were told to just shuffle the deck after each hand, which pretty much renders card counting useless. These days, the casinos will just ask you to leave if they think you’re card counting. Just imagine what they would do if they thought you could read minds. Jeez! Here I am talking about card counters, and life as I know it is about to change drastically, and not for the better.
So for better or worse, here is what happened. I’m pretty good at telling a story. Most lawyers are very good at telling stories. They certainly have a knack for telling great stories to juries. They have a knack for convincing juries to either let a child rapist go free for lack of evidence, or to award several million dollars to some old lady for splashing hot coffee in her lap at a drive-through. I don’t know if I’m that good a lawyer or I just have this unfair advantage.
I don’t suppose it matters any more. What judge in what courtroom would allow me to practice, even if the Bar cleared me of any wrongdoing? I should mention that there was a single incident that made all of this mess possible. Exactly what happened I’m not sure I’m willing to reveal. I don’t know if I want the world to know this because the people who let the cat out of the bag aren’t very nice people. They are very powerful, though. And I might keep them secret because of that. We’ll see. I’ll play it by ear as I get through this narration. <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id=ieooui></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]-->