Housework

[WiccanLiberal]

I am curious as to how many here stick to gender traditional distribution of household chores. My parents, especially my Dad, believed in teaching urban survival skills. Every kid, boy or girl, needed to be able to cook a meal, clean their living area, maintain their wardrobe and their vehicle. He had three girls. All of us could change a tire, add oil, etc. We could handle tools and manage a lawn mower or a pool cleaning vacuum. When I moved out own my own he gave me a tool box. I think he understood that people largely marry later now and would need to be self sufficient. It stood him well I know in that my mother was largely an invalid for the later part of her life and he did everything to maintain their home and take care of her. How important is it that everybody be able to do household tasks interchangeably?

[Gunny]

I am curious as to how many here stick to gender traditional distribution of household chores. My parents, especially my Dad, believed in teaching urban survival skills. Every kid, boy or girl, needed to be able to cook a meal, clean their living area, maintain their wardrobe and their vehicle. He had three girls. All of us could change a tire, add oil, etc. We could handle tools and manage a lawn mower or a pool cleaning vacuum. When I moved out own my own he gave me a tool box. I think he understood that people largely marry later now and would need to be self sufficient. It stood him well I know in that my mother was largely an invalid for the later part of her life and he did everything to maintain their home and take care of her. How important is it that everybody be able to do household tasks interchangeably?

Try raising a lazy kid on your own, or being a Marine. Or being an a-hole military guy's kid. I can field day a dump. :laugh:

[DLT]

I am curious as to how many here stick to gender traditional distribution of household chores. My parents, especially my Dad, believed in teaching urban survival skills. Every kid, boy or girl, needed to be able to cook a meal, clean their living area, maintain their wardrobe and their vehicle. He had three girls. All of us could change a tire, add oil, etc. We could handle tools and manage a lawn mower or a pool cleaning vacuum. When I moved out own my own he gave me a tool box. I think he understood that people largely marry later now and would need to be self sufficient. It stood him well I know in that my mother was largely an invalid for the later part of her life and he did everything to maintain their home and take care of her. How important is it that everybody be able to do household tasks interchangeably?

Ehh.....my dad was a good father....but he never really taught me anything other than, by example, how to be a decent human being that takes personal responsibility for ones' own actions. He and my mother were faithfully (to my knowledge) married for 57 years (until his death). But I think he wanted a son (most men do) instead of a daughter, and felt funny teaching me anything, so he left the teaching up to my mother. Different era, different mentality.

But I knew how to do laundry, cook a bit and clean house by the time I moved out at 17. Never mowed a lawn (lived in apartments mostly until 1980) and never had to change a tire either (Triple A and always a man around to help).

[Gunny]

Ehh.....my dad was a good father....but he never really taught me anything other than, by example, how to be a decent human being that takes personal responsibility for ones' own actions. He and my mother were faithfully (to my knowledge) married for 57 years (until his death). But I think he wanted a son (most men do) instead of a daughter, and felt funny teaching me anything, so he left the teaching up to my mother. Different era, different mentality.

But I knew how to do laundry, cook a bit and clean house by the time I moved out at 17. Never mowed a lawn (lived in apartments mostly until 1980) and never had to change a tire either (Triple A and always a man around to help).

Must be Southern. Only women I know of that mow lawns and change tires live up North. If your wife is out mowing the lawn where I'm from, you better be in traction or a wheelchair or some of the neighbor guys will come have a "chat" with you about that. :laugh:

[WiccanLiberal]

I think the reason it's a good idea is suggested by what Gunny says. If one half of a couple becomes disabled, or just is away for long periods (as in deployments or other necessary separations) it makes sense for the other half to be able to cope. My brother-in-law spent several months away from my sister when they were planning a move to Washington state. He was on the west coast with their school age daughter, getting the new place lined up and getting her settled in school while my sister was closing on the old house and keeping up with her preschool son. She said it made them both appreciate the value of the things they each did every day.

[Gunny]

I think the reason it's a good idea is suggested by what Gunny says. If one half of a couple becomes disabled, or just is away for long periods (as in deployments or other necessary separations) it makes sense for the other half to be able to cope. My brother-in-law spent several months away from my sister when they were planning a move to Washington state. He was on the west coast with their school age daughter, getting the new place lined up and getting her settled in school while my sister was closing on the old house and keeping up with her preschool son. She said it made them both appreciate the value of the things they each did every day.

My ex was a female Marine. We HAD to have our stuff together. When I was deployed during the First Gulf War, she was stuck for a little over a year (368 days, not that anyone was counting). Then, I ended up a single parent. There aren't a whole lot of options going on. :)

[WiccanLiberal]

Seems like when you are a working family you always find ways to make do. Today's kids seem crippled to me in some ways. When I was growing up, I could cook a complete meal, wash and iron a load of clothes and do the necessary mending, do the yard work and the pool maintainance and mind my younger siblings. It did two things. It made me capable and confident of handling a lot of different things and it made me cognizant of the need to take responsibility for the things that need to be done. The chores get done before the fun things happen. I literally will not leave the house for a movie or other activity on the weekend unless the house it put in order first.

[Gunny]

Seems like when you are a working family you always find ways to make do. Today's kids seem crippled to me in some ways. When I was growing up, I could cook a complete meal, wash and iron a load of clothes and do the necessary mending, do the yard work and the pool maintainance and mind my younger siblings. It did two things. It made me capable and confident of handling a lot of different things and it made me cognizant of the need to take responsibility for the things that need to be done. The chores get done before the fun things happen. I literally will not leave the house for a movie or other activity on the weekend unless the house it put in order first.

A-friggin-men. I am SO with you on THAT. When I was a kid, if our rooms weren't spotless, no going anywhere Friday night and reinspection Saturday morning. When I was a Marine, field day Thursday, you fail inspection Friday morning, reinspection Saturday morning and liberty is secured. I could make a military rack by the time I was 6. Hell, forget the Saturday movie thing. When I was a kid we didn't even get breakfast until our racks were made, faces washed, hair squared away and properly dressed for school.

Get home from school, yard had to be policed, cat box cleaned and trash taken out. If I wanted to used the lawn mower Saturday to make bucks, OUR yard got done first and I paid for the gas.

Now? I can't even get people to walk 15 feet out the door with the gazillion water bottles they leave around to get to the recycle bin.

[tailfins]

I am curious as to how many here stick to gender traditional distribution of household chores. My parents, especially my Dad, believed in teaching urban survival skills. Every kid, boy or girl, needed to be able to cook a meal, clean their living area, maintain their wardrobe and their vehicle. He had three girls. All of us could change a tire, add oil, etc. We could handle tools and manage a lawn mower or a pool cleaning vacuum. When I moved out own my own he gave me a tool box. I think he understood that people largely marry later now and would need to be self sufficient. It stood him well I know in that my mother was largely an invalid for the later part of her life and he did everything to maintain their home and take care of her. How important is it that everybody be able to do household tasks interchangeably?

My mom had a strict rule against boys doing housework. My perspective is different: If you have something above minimum wage skills, you should NOT be doing minimum wage tasks. My wife has ZERO ambition of acquiring anything above minimum wage skills and is content to do the housework. If both spouses have more than minimum wage skills, that time would be better spent studying and let hired help do the housework. I keep telling her when I die, she's in a world of hurt, but it falls on deaf ears. My sons already know that supporting their mother in excess of 80 times the minimum wage each is being taken advantage of.

[Gunny]

My mom had a strict rule against boys doing housework. My perspective is different: If you have something above minimum wage skills, you should NOT be doing minimum wage tasks. My wife has ZERO ambition of acquiring anything above minimum wage skills and is content to do the housework. If both spouses have more than minimum wage skills, that time would be better spent studying and let hired help do the housework. I keep telling her when I die, she's in a world of hurt, but it falls on deaf ears. My sons already know that supporting their mother in excess of 80 times the minimum wage each is being taken advantage of.

For someone that usually over=complicates boiling water, you sure went simple on this one.:laugh:

We can only speak of our own experiences. I agree with Wiccan because I was raised exactly the way she's talking. There was no going out play football until everything was squared away and we ALL (except my lazy ass brother) pitched in. We of course did it in a military manner because we were military. It doesn't take away from responsibility being responsibility and I think that's what Wiccan's hitting on. Square away your trash first, THEN you get to go play.

Your argument you can blame on women's lib types. Women were housewives when I was a kid. They all demanded jobs. Result? The landlord raised the rent to suck off two paychecks instead of one. You aren't considering cause and effect. It's the same argument with this demand for $15 an hour. It's going to screw the economy, and the vendors are just going to up their rates to get as much of it as they can.

[tailfins]

For someone that usually over=complicates boiling water, you sure went simple on this one.:laugh:

We can only speak of our own experiences. I agree with Wiccan because I was raised exactly the way she's talking. There was no going out play football until everything was squared away and we ALL (except my lazy ass brother) pitched in. We of course did it in a military manner because we were military. It doesn't take away from responsibility being responsibility and I think that's what Wiccan's hitting on. Square away your trash first, THEN you get to go play.

Your argument you can blame on women's lib types. Women were housewives when I was a kid. They all demanded jobs. Result? The landlord raised the rent to suck off two paychecks instead of one. You aren't considering cause and effect. It's the same argument with this demand for $15 an hour. It's going to screw the economy, and the vendors are just going to up their rates to get as much of it as they can.

By the way, by 80 times the minimum wage, I mean 80*7.25 = $580 per month. I get called a misogynist for the exact premise that you make. It's not the housework issue that's the problem. The problem is that the workforce is a mean place. Children need a mom who doesn't pick up that meanness. Women's lib has resulted in a harsher society.

[Gunny]

By the way, by 80 times the minimum wage, I mean 80*7.25 = $580 per month. I get called a misogynist for the exact premise that you make. It's not the housework issue that's the problem. The problem is that the workforce is a mean place. Children need a mom who doesn't pick up that meanness. Women's lib has resulted in a harsher society.

No. Children need a mom. End of sentence.

Women's lib resulted in it taking two paychecks instead of one to pay the rent.

[tailfins]

No. Children need a mom. End of sentence.

Women's lib resulted in it taking two paychecks instead of one to pay the rent.

I pay the rent just fine with one paycheck. The solution is to study your butt off and be in the top 5% in your field.

[Bilgerat]

My mother thought it good to try to teach me how to cook.

The problem? She was Irish and not a very good cook herself :laugh:

I did learn, even took a home EC class.

Now since I'm retired and my Lady teaches mon - fri, I am the primary house mouse. I cook the evening meal, do the dishes and usually purchase the groceries.

Of course, when we choose to grill or smoke, well that's solely my area. :salute: :laugh: :salute:

[LongTermGuy]

I pay the rent just fine with one paycheck. The solution is to study your butt off and be in the top 5% in your field.

....and then...it depends on which *field "one" is in....and if its actually worth serious money...titles are not always what they are cracked up to be....but in "your special case" I am happy for you. :)

[Gunny]

I pay the rent just fine with one paycheck. The solution is to study your butt off and be in the top 5% in your field.

Some of us don't have that opportunity. And that's not an excuse. It's a reason. Why do you think I don't listen to this "black lives matters" crap? I MADE my opportunities the best way I could. I didn't sit around waiting on my free ANYTHING.

But, the opportunity you speak of wasn't there in my day. We had to go to work AND try to just finish high school. All this college crap? That was a pipe dream in my world. Elitists went to college when I was young. My parents couldn't afford that crap any more than I could. I could smoke a college student in a debate when I was in 8th grade.

NOW is the part where you start wondering why YOU pay military people about a dime over the poverty line.

I'm in the top 5% of what I do. Anybody around here need a sniper or a martial artist?

[tailfins]

....and then...it depends on which *field "one" is in....and if its actually worth serious money...titles are not always what they are cracked up to be....but in "your special case" I am happy for you. :)

The "special case" is a fire lit under the butt by deficient social skills. Going to a support group meeting and seeing people in poverty is a big motivator never to let skills get "behind the curve". My late sister stayed employed as a correctional nurse by getting a BSN. If a nurse has deficient social skills a correctional nurse is the way to go.

[gabosaurus]

I pay the rent just fine with one paycheck. The solution is to study your butt off and be in the top 5% in your field.

My husband makes more than you can ever dream of. He is not afraid to wash clothes, load and unload the dishwasher, make beds and vacuum. He even does windows. :cool:
Unlike many kids, my daughter doesn't get an allowance. My parents always felt that chores were your duty as a member of the family. My daughter can cook anything I can. She doesn't really rely on us that much except for transportation.
We could easily survive on one paycheck. But I prefer to work because I have a calling.
Just because you bring home the bacon doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to cook it.

[Gunny]

The "special case" is a fire lit under the butt by deficient social skills. Going to a support group meeting and seeing people in poverty is a big motivator never to let skills get "behind the curve". My late sister stayed employed as a correctional nurse by getting a BSN. If a nurse has deficient social skills a correctional nurse is the way to go.

Think so? You're one of those people that thinks everyone should think like you. Got news for you, bubba ....

Ever seen a bunch of African kids fighting over MREs-- crap I could barely stand and wouldn't feed my dog? Their shitty ass little shacks they live in? Given then them everything out of your pack that wasn't a uniform or a weapon because they had no clothes? Watch the doc sit there for hours giving shots we get free as a matter of routine? Trying to wrap up busted arms and legs with Corpsman crap?

Everybody in this country has a place they can go. Those people didn't. You have NO idea what poverty is. Poverty in this country is an excuse and self-inflicted. Try going somewhere where you ain't got shit and nowhere to turn.

[gabosaurus]

NOW is the part where you start wondering why YOU pay military people about a dime over the poverty line.

I'm in the top 5% of what I do. Anybody around here need a sniper or a martial artist?

This is an interesting point. I would like to see someone at the next GOP debate ask why the Pentagon spends millions on advisers, consultants and contractors while the basic field soldier can barely get by.
Look at the current military budget. There is enough fat to choke a nation. There is tons of pork placed by lawmakers to ensure the fat cats will continue their support.
I heard a Pentagon general once say that our troops were "well taken care of." I could imagine the average grunt choking on his coffee.

[Gunny]

This is an interesting point. I would like to see someone at the next GOP debate ask why the Pentagon spends millions on advisers, consultants and contractors while the basic field soldier can barely get by.
Look at the current military budget. There is enough fat to choke a nation. There is tons of pork placed by lawmakers to ensure the fat cats will continue their support.
I heard a Pentagon general once say that our troops were "well taken care of." I could imagine the average grunt choking on his coffee.

You can ask it, but it's not a new question. When I was a kid we lived in the ghetto outside DC because that's all my dad could afford. I'd never have been able to support a child and wife on Cpl's pay. I was a Cpl married to a LCpl and still lived in a trailer. We don't pay those that serve us jack. But Congress NEVER misses THEIR pay raise.

[aboutime]

And this is only basic pay. No allowances are included in this example....

http://www.goarmy.com/benefits/money/basic-pay-active-duty-soldiers.html ARMY

https://www.military-ranks.org/navy-enlisted-pay NAVY

[DLT]

Must be Southern. Only women I know of that mow lawns and change tires live up North. If your wife is out mowing the lawn where I'm from, you better be in traction or a wheelchair or some of the neighbor guys will come have a "chat" with you about that. :laugh:

Well....ok....I confess. I did offer to mow the lawn once (we had a huge corner lot). My husband started the damn thing for me (I never could)....and I started mowing....but somehow, some way...I managed to run over a small tree or something that messed the mower up. It was AN ACCIDENT! Honest!!!

[aboutime]

This is an interesting point. I would like to see someone at the next GOP debate ask why the Pentagon spends millions on advisers, consultants and contractors while the basic field soldier can barely get by.
Look at the current military budget. There is enough fat to choke a nation. There is tons of pork placed by lawmakers to ensure the fat cats will continue their support.
I heard a Pentagon general once say that our troops were "well taken care of." I could imagine the average grunt choking on his coffee.


Read my post below. They are paid well today, and taken care of. A Seaman recruit in the Navy earns what I earned as an E-7 the day I retired. Times have changed, and the Cost of living. But they are TAKEN CARE OF.

[DLT]

I think the reason it's a good idea is suggested by what Gunny says. If one half of a couple becomes disabled, or just is away for long periods (as in deployments or other necessary separations) it makes sense for the other half to be able to cope. My brother-in-law spent several months away from my sister when they were planning a move to Washington state. He was on the west coast with their school age daughter, getting the new place lined up and getting her settled in school while my sister was closing on the old house and keeping up with her preschool son. She said it made them both appreciate the value of the things they each did every day.

Well, I guess my ex may have tried to make up for what my dad didn't teach me. He tried to teach me how to check the fluids, air in tires, etc....minor maintenance around the house too. So I did get some training...it was just waaaay too late. lol

Currently, I have an electric mower. Very light weight, easy to push and turn, which is good since I hold the cord out of the way with my left hand. Easy peasy.

[Motown]

Well....ok....I confess. I did offer to mow the lawn once (we had a huge corner lot). My husband started the damn thing for me (I never could)....and I started mowing....but somehow, some way...I managed to run over a small tree or something that messed the mower up. It was AN ACCIDENT! Honest!!!

I "accidently" shrunk some laundry once. I was never asked to do the laundry again. Basically if it involves tools, bugs, or ladders I do it. My wife handles fire and water.

[Gunny]

And this is only basic pay. No allowances are included in this example....

http://www.goarmy.com/benefits/money/basic-pay-active-duty-soldiers.html ARMY

https://www.military-ranks.org/navy-enlisted-pay NAVY

I agree but you know as well as I do young n dumb runs right off to the RP and gets hitched.

[Abbey Marie]

It's weird to me when people say this is men's work, or this is women's work. Two of my practically sole-breadwinner BILs do most of the cooking. When we both worked, we both did stuff in the house. We didn't check pay stubs first to see who makes more, to decide. (And I know my husband is highly paid and regarded in the IT field).

My father taught me to check the oil, and to put air in tires. They are not rocket science, nor do they require strength.

I DO NOT kill bugs.

[Motown]

It's weird to me when people say this is men's work, or this is women's work. Two of my practically sole-breadwinner husbands do most of the cooking. When we both worked, we both did stuff in the house. We didn't check pay stubs first to see who makes more, to decide. (And I know my husband is highly paid and regarded in the IT field).

My father taught me to check the oil, and to put air in tires. They are not rocket science, nor do they require strength.

I DO NOT kill bugs.

A woman who doesn't kill bugs? No way?!?

[gabosaurus]

Two of my practically sole-breadwinner husbands do most of the cooking.

How many husbands do you have? :poke:


I DO NOT kill bugs.

Our cat actually chases and kills a lot of bugs. Or else points them out so someone can kill them.

[Abbey Marie]

How many husbands do you have? :poke:



Our cat actually chases and kills a lot of bugs. Or else points them out so someone can kill them.


Lo, I meant BILs. Going to fix that now. :laugh2:

[Motown]

Lo, I meant BILs. Going to fix that now. :laugh2:


I'm sure you've got it handled. Take care of it!

[jimnyc]

We split almost everything. I don't think there's anything that either one of us doesn't do. I think she LIKES to cook more than I do, but that's only based on the results of the food! :laugh: We have 2 bathrooms, so she cleans the nice one, while I clean the "man's bacterial cesspool". Whatever we don't order and have delivered from Freshdirect, the rest of the shopping is my job. She does all the dusting. I don't mind dust. She cleans litter box, I clean litter genie. Feeding animals is always my job. Taking out garbage is always my job. We all share recyclable taking out on Tuesday nights.

[Abbey Marie]

We split almost everything. I don't think there's anything that either one of us doesn't do. I think she LIKES to cook more than I do, but that's only based on the results of the food! :laugh: We have 2 bathrooms, so she cleans the nice one, while I clean the "man's bacterial cesspool". Whatever we don't order and have delivered from Freshdirect, the rest of the shopping is my job. She does all the dusting. I don't mind dust. She cleans litter box, I clean litter genie. Feeding animals is always my job. Taking out garbage is always my job. We all share recyclable taking out on Tuesday nights.


I've been hearing good things about FreshDirect. Can you tell me a little bit about it?