nevadamedic
07-08-2007, 02:03 AM
NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—A team of three out-of-work stem cell biologists announced Monday that, after four weeks of rigorous observation and field testing, the evidence conclusively shows that chief researcher Dr. Henry Rogers' dog Franklin likes beer.
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Rogers and McCarthy measured the preferences of test subject Franklin.
"We're extremely pleased with the results of the experiment," Rogers said. "It exceeded our highest expectations, and we're confident that our findings will have far-reaching implications for the coming weekend."
According to the team's report, Rogers, along with colleagues Dr. Tom McCarthy and Dr. Simon Huang, formulated a hypothesis that Franklin, a purebred boxer, would drink beer poured into his water dish.
After scouring through couch cushions to secure funding for an initial test, the first round of experiments began in late February. Franklin was administered a sampling of six economy-priced beer brands in 12-ounce increments at the rate of one unit every 1.5 hours over several successive Saturdays. His tail-wagging, equilibrium, speed of consumption, and general playfulness were monitored throughout for variations from baseline norms.
While the scientists said the neutered 5-year-old subject showed no clear preference for any one brand, Franklin tended to lap up Presidente beer at the fastest rate, followed by Rolling Rock, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Milwaukee's Best, and lastly, Icehouse.
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Franklin proved receptive to a variety of liquid-intake methods.
"Due to our limited resources, we were only able to obtain cases of the most inexpensive test materials," Huang said.
The team recently managed to secure a New Jersey state research subsidy of $2.55 by returning the empties.
Full Article.............
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/unemployed_scientists_prove_dog?utm_source=cnn
:laugh2: How dumb is that? Why would they want to give their dog beer and on top of that why would they be doing scientific testing? A dog can get very sick from dringing alcohol. These scientists are aweful and should have their dog taken away.
Enlarge Image
Rogers and McCarthy measured the preferences of test subject Franklin.
"We're extremely pleased with the results of the experiment," Rogers said. "It exceeded our highest expectations, and we're confident that our findings will have far-reaching implications for the coming weekend."
According to the team's report, Rogers, along with colleagues Dr. Tom McCarthy and Dr. Simon Huang, formulated a hypothesis that Franklin, a purebred boxer, would drink beer poured into his water dish.
After scouring through couch cushions to secure funding for an initial test, the first round of experiments began in late February. Franklin was administered a sampling of six economy-priced beer brands in 12-ounce increments at the rate of one unit every 1.5 hours over several successive Saturdays. His tail-wagging, equilibrium, speed of consumption, and general playfulness were monitored throughout for variations from baseline norms.
While the scientists said the neutered 5-year-old subject showed no clear preference for any one brand, Franklin tended to lap up Presidente beer at the fastest rate, followed by Rolling Rock, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Milwaukee's Best, and lastly, Icehouse.
Enlarge Image
Franklin proved receptive to a variety of liquid-intake methods.
"Due to our limited resources, we were only able to obtain cases of the most inexpensive test materials," Huang said.
The team recently managed to secure a New Jersey state research subsidy of $2.55 by returning the empties.
Full Article.............
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/unemployed_scientists_prove_dog?utm_source=cnn
:laugh2: How dumb is that? Why would they want to give their dog beer and on top of that why would they be doing scientific testing? A dog can get very sick from dringing alcohol. These scientists are aweful and should have their dog taken away.