Men’s Helpline

[Jeff]

“Hello, my name is Bob. How can I help you?”
“Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up. She goes out with ‘the girls’ a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.
Anyway, last night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home, she got out of someone’s car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket.
Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?”

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

“Hello, my name is Bob. How can I help you?”
“Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up. She goes out with ‘the girls’ a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.
Anyway, last night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home, she got out of someone’s car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket.
Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?”

Cheaper to just replace the whole bracket ...... :laugh:
Replacing the wife gonna cost the man an arm and a leg--welcome to our judicial system that lawyers helped to rig to shaft the man as deeply as humanly possible.
And that by default was by liberal design to give women more power over the men !
Instead of leaving each court case based solely upon the specifics involved, they've preset a huge bias against the men from the start. Sad but true..... --Tyr

[sundaydriver]

What being married to Jeff must be like:

http://i386.photobucket.com/albums/oo302/rover27/SmuJhZb_zpsoduuidjp.jpg (http://s386.photobucket.com/user/rover27/media/SmuJhZb_zpsoduuidjp.jpg.html)

[jimnyc]

I used to think that strawberry cheesecake was the best dessert on earth, that was until I had blueberry cheesecake! Now I'm sure this may vary depending on where you go, but I'm confident you'll be OK if you get either one.

[gabosaurus]

I hear Jeff found his wife by placing an ad in a specialty publication. :p

http://planet55.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/1-106923-198x300.jpg

[Gunny]

“Hello, my name is Bob. How can I help you?”
“Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up. She goes out with ‘the girls’ a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.
Anyway, last night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home, she got out of someone’s car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket.
Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?”

I can see your dilemna here. Not to mention you owe me half a coke and possibly a new monitor.:laugh: I thought you were describing my first marriage until you got the mounting bracket.:laugh:

Unless you're running a Merc, I'd say just replace the Evinrude or Johnson. The Merc would be worth salvaging. Then you have one of those "honey, let's try and make and make this work" outings and btw, don't mind those chains and 45 pound Olympic plates laying on the deck. I just forgot to put them up after my last workout.:halo9:

[indago]

Replacing the wife gonna cost the man an arm and a leg--welcome to our judicial system that lawyers helped to rig to shaft the man as deeply as humanly possible.

There's a lesson there:

Don't get married because you have a hardon, or the juice is runnin' down yo laig

[Jeff]

What being married to Jeff must be like:

http://i386.photobucket.com/albums/oo302/rover27/SmuJhZb_zpsoduuidjp.jpg (http://s386.photobucket.com/user/rover27/media/SmuJhZb_zpsoduuidjp.jpg.html)

Sounds like you been talking to the wife. :laugh:


I hear Jeff found his wife by placing an ad in a specialty publication. :p

http://planet55.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/1-106923-198x300.jpg

Pretty close Gabs, but I like my bikes, so my ad was for someone that could clean the hell out of a scooter, especially chrome, and please send references. :laugh::laugh:

[Gunny]

There's a lesson there:

Don't get married because you have a hardon, or the juice is runnin' down yo laig

That would definitely explain my first marriage. I was stationed at 29 Palms. We outnumbered the women 100 to 1 and she wast hot. ;)