Need advice..

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

I have been asked to submit three new poems for publication.
Also was asked to give a range of my writing. This is my newest write, written in a new form.
If interested and willing to reply then you may view it here . Thanks. -Tyr


http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?49698-My-new-poems-written-for-the-Creative-Writing-Forum

Usurp the Usurpers!

[jimnyc]

You want us to pick out the best 3 from that other page? What's the advice? I think the majority of you writing is deserved of others reading it!! :)

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

You want us to pick out the best 3 from that other page? What's the advice? I think the majority of you writing is deserved of others reading it!! :)

Yes but primarily answer if this new form measures up to my usual form and style..
Since I have many to choose from not sure if this new form will measure up but it is currently a highly praised writing form among the modern poets/thinkers.
Certainly would be enough were it only considered a good poem. I can not judge it adequately as its not my usual fare. I admit being a rookie in this form with no way to truly measure the level it may represent.
Thanks for the interest and rely.
Feel free to choose three from that page if you like and post here.
That just may be the best way to gauge methinks. - :beer:
If this new one is included in those three I will use it to submit even though its a tad bit political in nature(although its more religious/ethical) (they frown on that, the political).---Tyr

[jimnyc]

Alright, gimme the rest of the day to go in and out and give it some though. Keep in mind though, I'm an amateur, and assuming most here are, so we might not be the best to ask. On the other hand, asking folks that will just 'read', instead of being critics, you may find which ones "speak" to people, bring out emotions, thoughts and such. Hopefully others besides my self will check it out and give some feedback. :)

[jimnyc]

I actually just re-read the entire thread. Another thing I didn't give thought to at first.

Music.

A lot of people debate music. Some say rap music is garbage. Some say speed metal is garbage. But to some people, it's awesome. Some hate Michael Jackson, but I love listening to his music. Everyone has different ears and different tastes. If I don't listen to that style of music, it doesn't mean that the music is bad.

Similar with writing. I like to read a certain "subject", if you will. The others may be considered like the best in the world, and I may simply not know as I don't read it the same, if that makes any sense?

Here are my 3 favorites that stood out for me. :)


The View - http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?49698-My-new-poems-written-for-the-Creative-Writing-Forum&p=735164#post735164

This World Reeks In Deep Decay - http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?49698-My-new-poems-written-for-the-Creative-Writing-Forum&p=735504#post735504

Where Led That Path Not Taken - http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?49698-My-new-poems-written-for-the-Creative-Writing-Forum&p=736581#post736581

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

I actually just re-read the entire thread. Another thing I didn't give thought to at first.

Music.

A lot of people debate music. Some say rap music is garbage. Some say speed metal is garbage. But to some people, it's awesome. Some hate Michael Jackson, but I love listening to his music. Everyone has different ears and different tastes. If I don't listen to that style of music, it doesn't mean that the music is bad.

Similar with writing. I like to read a certain "subject", if you will. The others may be considered like the best in the world, and I may simply not know as I don't read it the same, if that makes any sense?

Here are my 3 favorites that stood out for me. :)


The View - http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?49698-My-new-poems-written-for-the-Creative-Writing-Forum&p=735164#post735164

This World Reeks In Deep Decay - http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?49698-My-new-poems-written-for-the-Creative-Writing-Forum&p=735504#post735504

Where Led That Path Not Taken - http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?49698-My-new-poems-written-for-the-Creative-Writing-Forum&p=736581#post736581

Amazing .. Those three are in my final 8 choices. Must be some kind of "like" thinking methinks. Or else we are both as crazy as Jeff thinks we are. ;)
This selection is an important one. So input is appreciated, even if only by readers with not a lot of poetry experience. Most poetry readers are not themselves poets.
I think you must have a journalistic eye. -:beer:-Tyr

[Loralei]

I have been asked to submit three new poems for publication.
Also was asked to give a range of my writing. This is my newest write, written in a new form.
If interested and willing to reply then you may view it here . Thanks. -Tyr


http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?49698-My-new-poems-written-for-the-Creative-Writing-Forum

Usurp the Usurpers!

Good stuff.
I am also a poet and have been writing for years.
Mine aren't of the same form or genre yours are though.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

Good stuff.
I am also a poet and have been writing for years.
Mine aren't of the same form or genre yours are though.

Great. No problem as poetry is as big a field as man can make . Is it free verse or personification,
does not really matter . Feel free to post some of your poems in the creative writing forum. I
would love to read a fellow poet 's work, especially one that is a member here!
I sincerely wish you would share with us...--Tyr

[Loralei]

Great. No problem as poetry is as big a field as man can make . Is it free verse or personification,
does not really matter . Feel free to post some of your poems in the creative writing forum. I
would love to read a fellow poet 's work, especially one that is a member here!
I sincerely wish you would share with us...--Tyr

okay!

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

okay!

You have my thanks.. :beer: :beer:

Remember short stories are allowed there as well.

Look forward to reading your writes!!!!! -Tyr

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

I had my final three chosen. Then this morning at my poetry site a friend there suggested that I use this poem because it is a new form invented by me and he think it is a great form and a very fine poem.
Posting here for any to reply with what they think as in if the poem or the new form measures up.-Tyr



We Loved Her In Vain

The bones of your life lay there
you were gifted far too fair
You traveled a path far alone
before we saw, you were gone

The castles you left so pure
truth was part of your allure
Did you gift us your very best?
or save that for your new quest

Sunday morns you would go walk
there, strange dancing as you talk
Your return consumed us with glee
loved in your sight only me

You are now very deeply missed
we adored you, were not kissed!

Robert J. Lindley, 09-14 2014

Syllables Per Line: 7 7 8 7 0 7 7 8 7 0 7 7 8 7 0 8 7
Total # Syllables: 102
Total # Lines: 17 (Including empty lines)
Total # Words: 87

Note: I am deep into math, love numbers and patterns.
I wanted to create a poetry form . So I took two special
years of my life to start the foundation for a new form.
Years 1977 and 1987, thus I chose 77, 87. These became repeating syllable counts
in each quatrain.
Developed the form as sonnet type based with 14 lines but
with a syllable count as shown above comprised of three
four line stanzas, followed by a two line conclusion.
Rhyme scheme to be aa, bb, cc, dd, ee, ff with ending couplet gg