am I in the closet? havent spoken about this to anyone..

[darin]

so - I'll post this out on the world-wide web. Geesh :)


I am not interested in living a gay lifestyle. Man-man sex isn't attractive to me. Am I in the closet?

Rewind to 2004; I'd just moved into a new house and was meeting neighbors at the first HOA meeting. I meet a guy named Brian and his "husband" Jimmy. Brian and I hit it off - we have similar temperaments and likes. Brian was more conservative than Jimmy. As the years progressed I found myself really liking their company. Jimmy was a bitch at times - he'd get super mad when discussion turned to 'born gay' or not. Brian said he was born to make choices. After being married to a woman and fathering kids, Brian really enjoyed his new lifestyle. Jimmy insisted he was a victim of genetic disposition.

Their house looked like a Pier 1 Imports vomited into their split-entry (hah..just sounds funny. Gay men living in a SPLIT...ENTRY...house). I felt comfortable there, slightly intrigued too. Intrigued for a couple reasons. Firstly, I'm really excellent at design - of everything. I'm pretty awesome at being an 'idea guy' to just sorta fix things. In my marriage Mary would make a dish, then I'd spice it. In shopping, my daughter or ex find basic items and I make them work across many areas adding accessories and splash and what-not to stretch the dollar. Now, what caught me was this: While I like Pier 1, these two guys NEEDED my help to focus them a bit.

Next, I was pretty interested in their relationship. I could feel the connection between them. I was inquisitive about how they show affection; from a clinical standpoint.

I have a bit of a wandering soul. I really love engaging people different than I - my best memories of Japan, Russia, Thailand, Iraq - and many others center around eating with and talking with people vastly different. In Japan I was with three other Soldiers drinking Sake. A server brought another to us - one we didn't order. She motioned to a man across the bar as having purchased for us. We invited him to join us and spent HOURS literally drawing hieroglyphics to try and understand just the basics of who he was. I drew a map of the United states. Then highlighted Washington State, then about where Seattle is - and circled it. He nodded and drew Japan and found his hometown. I drew me as a Soldier - twice. Once with a Stinger missile and once with a typewriter - showing the two sides of my Career. He drew a parachute and a rifle and whatnot - showing he once was in the Japanese Ground Self Defense Force.

While in Alabama I accepted an invite to a friend's family 'after church' lunch. When I got there it was ME (who presents Caucasian) and about 30 folks of color. I was continually asked if I was okay; needed anything. At first the older folks there would sorta...talk slowly at times, as if I didn’t speak English. I'd would say "my lack of pigment doesn't affect my hearing". I'd throw out the occasional "...cuz white people are crazy..." when topics when to stupid stuff like "Why do people watch FISHING on TV?"

I sort of feel like that with Brian and Jimmy - or at any time I'm in a place with people having differences. So much fun finding the commonalities. Lots of fun to be, functionally, a minority.

So - I am drawn to being around queers and I am very interested in their lifestyle. Same with folks of other ethnicities and backgrounds. I want to know not just who they are but WHY they are in their place in life.
Fast forward to The Walking Dead Sunday night.

Darryl was eating dinner with two 'married' guys and the feelings of being around Jimmy and Brian's place hit me full force. Internally I wanted to be there eating dinner with them. I really felt drawn to that situation and I can't completely explain why, except one of the characters is good looking, well-spoken, and I like those types of people.

Does this make ANY sense?

[CSM]

so - I'll post this out on the world-wide web. Geesh :)


I am not interested in living a gay lifestyle. Man-man sex isn't attractive to me. Am I in the closet?

Rewind to 2004; I'd just moved into a new house and was meeting neighbors at the first HOA meeting. I meet a guy named Brian and his "husband" Jimmy. Brian and I hit it off - we have similar temperaments and likes. Brian was more conservative than Jimmy. As the years progressed I found myself really liking their company. Jimmy was a bitch at times - he'd get super mad when discussion turned to 'born gay' or not. Brian said he was born to make choices. After being married to a woman and fathering kids, Brian really enjoyed his new lifestyle. Jimmy insisted he was a victim of genetic disposition.

Their house looked like a Pier 1 Imports vomited into their split-entry (hah..just sounds funny. Gay men living in a SPLIT...ENTRY...house). I felt comfortable there, slightly intrigued too. Intrigued for a couple reasons. Firstly, I'm really excellent at design - of everything. I'm pretty awesome at being an 'idea guy' to just sorta fix things. In my marriage Mary would make a dish, then I'd spice it. In shopping, my daughter or ex find basic items and I make them work across many areas adding accessories and splash and what-not to stretch the dollar. Now, what caught me was this: While I like Pier 1, these two guys NEEDED my help to focus them a bit.

Next, I was pretty interested in their relationship. I could feel the connection between them. I was inquisitive about how they show affection; from a clinical standpoint.

I have a bit of a wandering soul. I really love engaging people different than I - my best memories of Japan, Russia, Thailand, Iraq - and many others center around eating with and talking with people vastly different. In Japan I was with three other Soldiers drinking Sake. A server brought another to us - one we didn't order. She motioned to a man across the bar as having purchased for us. We invited him to join us and spent HOURS literally drawing hieroglyphics to try and understand just the basics of who he was. I drew a map of the United states. Then highlighted Washington State, then about where Seattle is - and circled it. He nodded and drew Japan and found his hometown. I drew me as a Soldier - twice. Once with a Stinger missile and once with a typewriter - showing the two sides of my Career. He drew a parachute and a rifle and whatnot - showing he once was in the Japanese Ground Self Defense Force.

While in Alabama I accepted an invite to a friend's family 'after church' lunch. When I got there it was ME (who presents Caucasian) and about 30 folks of color. I was continually asked if I was okay; needed anything. At first the older folks there would sorta...talk slowly at times, as if I didn’t speak English. I'd would say "my lack of pigment doesn't affect my hearing". I'd throw out the occasional "...cuz white people are crazy..." when topics when to stupid stuff like "Why do people watch FISHING on TV?"

I sort of feel like that with Brian and Jimmy - or at any time I'm in a place with people having differences. So much fun finding the commonalities. Lots of fun to be, functionally, a minority.

So - I am drawn to being around queers and I am very interested in their lifestyle. Same with folks of other ethnicities and backgrounds. I want to know not just who they are but WHY they are in their place in life.
Fast forward to The Walking Dead Sunday night.

Darryl was eating dinner with two 'married' guys and the feelings of being around Jimmy and Brian's place hit me full force. Internally I wanted to be there eating dinner with them. I really felt drawn to that situation and I can't completely explain why, except one of the characters is good looking, well-spoken, and I like those types of people.

Does this make ANY sense?

Clearly, you are gay.....JUST KIDDING!

[NightTrain]

Sounds to me like you're fascinated by people different than you.

[fj1200]

It's only a matter of time...

[Perianne]

I am kinda the same way about blacks. I wonder what makes them tick. However, I am NOT - never, no way - sexually interested in them. Not at all. Not .0000000001%.

I think it is just curiosity about other humans.

[Bilgerat]

Clearly, you are gay.....JUST KIDDING!



http://youtu.be/IKbLquqxBAQ

[indago]

am I in the closet?

Oh oh...

[indago]

I am kinda the same way about blacks. I wonder what makes them tick. However, I am NOT - never, no way - sexually interested in them. Not at all. Not .0000000001%.

I think it is just curiosity about other humans.

Oh oh...

[gabosaurus]

If you take the sexual part out of it, what is there about a man-man relationship that you object to?
When you are amongst a group of men on the battlefield, you are as close to them as any couple will ever be. You live with them, eat with them and sleep with them. You trust your life to the guy next to you, knowing that either of you would be willing to give your life for the other.
If you look at it, a man-man or woman-woman relationship is no different than a heterosexual one. It is two PEOPLE who love each other. Notice I said "people." Singular. Adult. People. Not children. Not animals. Or inanimate objects. Or multiples. Two adult persons.
You have to remove religious implications, because a large portion of Americans are not religious. You take out the anal sex objection, because that can be part of heterosexual sex as well.

[gabosaurus]

I am kinda the same way about blacks. I wonder what makes them tick. However, I am NOT - never, no way - sexually interested in them. Not at all. Not .0000000001%.

I think it is just curiosity about other humans.

What is the difference between black and white other than skin color? Nothing.

[LongTermGuy]

http://www.debatepolicy.com/images/debate_policy/misc/quote_icon.png Originally Posted by dmp http://www.debatepolicy.com/images/debate_policy/buttons/viewpost-right.png (http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?p=726705#post726705)
am I in the closet?



http://www.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/trapped-in-the-closet-surprise-shock.gif


:laugh:


http://www.lapatilla.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/salirdelcloset.jpg

[Perianne]

What is the difference between black and white other than skin color? Nothing.

Seriously?

Regardless, that is enough for me. To each her own.

[hjmick]

Relax d, you're fine. Not that there'd be anything wrong with it, or you, if you were gay...

[tailfins]

You got along well with Brian IN SPITE OF his being homosexual, not BECAUSE OF​ his being homosexual. And yes, there would be something wrong with you if you were homosexual.

[gabosaurus]

You got along well with Brian IN SPITE OF his being homosexual, not BECAUSE OF​ his being homosexual. And yes, there would be something wrong with you if you were homosexual.

You might not be saying that five or 10 years from now. You might be dealing with this question in your own home.

[tailfins]

You might not be saying that five or 10 years from now. You might be dealing with this question in your own home.

Less than 5% chance. My point of view would be the same. It's NOT OK and anything constructive is in spite of that. It's not a deal breaker like it is with some people, but it is a negative.

[darin]

Less than 5% chance. My point of view would be the same. It's NOT OK and anything constructive is in spite of that. It's not a deal breaker like it is with some people, but it is a negative.


There isn't chance invovled. People don't choose 'gay' by random chance. People choose that lifestyle because it feeds their supply of serotonin or/and dopamine.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

so - I'll post this out on the world-wide web. Geesh :)


I am not interested in living a gay lifestyle. Man-man sex isn't attractive to me. Am I in the closet?

Rewind to 2004; I'd just moved into a new house and was meeting neighbors at the first HOA meeting. I meet a guy named Brian and his "husband" Jimmy. Brian and I hit it off - we have similar temperaments and likes. Brian was more conservative than Jimmy. As the years progressed I found myself really liking their company. Jimmy was a bitch at times - he'd get super mad when discussion turned to 'born gay' or not. Brian said he was born to make choices. After being married to a woman and fathering kids, Brian really enjoyed his new lifestyle. Jimmy insisted he was a victim of genetic disposition.

Their house looked like a Pier 1 Imports vomited into their split-entry (hah..just sounds funny. Gay men living in a SPLIT...ENTRY...house). I felt comfortable there, slightly intrigued too. Intrigued for a couple reasons. Firstly, I'm really excellent at design - of everything. I'm pretty awesome at being an 'idea guy' to just sorta fix things. In my marriage Mary would make a dish, then I'd spice it. In shopping, my daughter or ex find basic items and I make them work across many areas adding accessories and splash and what-not to stretch the dollar. Now, what caught me was this: While I like Pier 1, these two guys NEEDED my help to focus them a bit.

Next, I was pretty interested in their relationship. I could feel the connection between them. I was inquisitive about how they show affection; from a clinical standpoint.

I have a bit of a wandering soul. I really love engaging people different than I - my best memories of Japan, Russia, Thailand, Iraq - and many others center around eating with and talking with people vastly different. In Japan I was with three other Soldiers drinking Sake. A server brought another to us - one we didn't order. She motioned to a man across the bar as having purchased for us. We invited him to join us and spent HOURS literally drawing hieroglyphics to try and understand just the basics of who he was. I drew a map of the United states. Then highlighted Washington State, then about where Seattle is - and circled it. He nodded and drew Japan and found his hometown. I drew me as a Soldier - twice. Once with a Stinger missile and once with a typewriter - showing the two sides of my Career. He drew a parachute and a rifle and whatnot - showing he once was in the Japanese Ground Self Defense Force.

While in Alabama I accepted an invite to a friend's family 'after church' lunch. When I got there it was ME (who presents Caucasian) and about 30 folks of color. I was continually asked if I was okay; needed anything. At first the older folks there would sorta...talk slowly at times, as if I didn’t speak English. I'd would say "my lack of pigment doesn't affect my hearing". I'd throw out the occasional "...cuz white people are crazy..." when topics when to stupid stuff like "Why do people watch FISHING on TV?"

I sort of feel like that with Brian and Jimmy - or at any time I'm in a place with people having differences. So much fun finding the commonalities. Lots of fun to be, functionally, a minority.

So - I am drawn to being around queers and I am very interested in their lifestyle. Same with folks of other ethnicities and backgrounds. I want to know not just who they are but WHY they are in their place in life.
Fast forward to The Walking Dead Sunday night.

Darryl was eating dinner with two 'married' guys and the feelings of being around Jimmy and Brian's place hit me full force. Internally I wanted to be there eating dinner with them. I really felt drawn to that situation and I can't completely explain why, except one of the characters is good looking, well-spoken, and I like those types of people.

Does this make ANY sense?

After reading your opening post I think you are just a very inquisitive person that likes to fully understand things.
Nothing wrong with that and I have that strong trait myself. As to being so inquisitive about gays, that's a choice you've made so don't sweat it.
Knowledge is power. I am firmly anti-gay myself yet have been in my long life very good friend with two lesbians. Of course friends only with no sexual activity or advances ever made. One of them(they were not a couple) was a lady with a very high IQ. And she was a no -nonsense type of thinker.
We were friends and could discuss world events/issues and my favorite subject "wars and history" with her knowing much about the subject.
I've never been friends with a gay man. I have no such inclination and it is a moral choice I've made long , long ago..-Tyr

[jimnyc]

Sometimes people have dreams, and really don't understand what they mean. This is similar, but of course you were awake. It's definitely your brains way of telling you that you're a flamer! :laugh:

http://i.imgur.com/mHokBiG.jpg

But nah, sounds normal to me. I think you're understanding that they are normal while different, that you can be friends and such (even though you vehemently disagree with the lifestyle), and respect the friendships and such, and also are keen and intuitive, and want to know what makes people tick. - Wow, I realize that last sentence was short on periods and long on commas. I refuse to go back and change it. I live the thug life! :)

[Kathianne]

I've a couple friends that are gay. I enjoy their company and the discussions we have. I must say though I've never been interested in hearing about their sex lives, nor anyone else's either.

[tailfins]

I've a couple friends that are gay. I enjoy their company and the discussions we have. I must say though I've never been interested in hearing about their sex lives, nor anyone else's either.

But that makes you an intolerant bigot if you can't celebrate every deviant act!

[DragonStryk72]

Does this make ANY sense?

Actually, this makes perfectly good sense. About a month ago, I happened to come across this old-time barber shop here in Portland, called The Modern Man, which not only does the old-school barber run, but also hot towel shaves with a straight razor. It was admittedly pricey, but I got my buddies Drew and Josh together and off we went.

When we got there, the guy at the desk scheduled us for chairs, and we had a chance to sit and talk. The Modern Man, aside from being a barber shop, also offers complimentary beer (Widmer Brothers, a local microbrewery). We ended up with a trio of ambers, and I ended buying a cigar from the desk. So, we're sitting outside (Winter is really mild here, and this particularly was high 60s, low 70s), so we hung out, and we're just talking, having a beer, smoking a cigar, and we get called up for our cuts. They sit us within earshot of one another, and we're talking back and forth, work, politics (I really expected it to be more liberal here, but they seem sort of pissed off at the California style liberals, and there's a strong hunting/fishing culture here.), relationships, and something occurred to me: This is longest time I've had these kinds of talks with men. Sure, I've discussed in general audience, but never like this with my buddies. Usually, we just talk about whatever we're about to go do, we don't get more serious than that with each other.

So then we get to the more quiet time, when we're getting our shaves. It's actually really relaxing, and oddly... intimate. I mean, you're basically letting a stranger put a 4" long blade to you while you're completely prone. So the shave is going well... and I nodded off. Yeah, literally had a guy with a blade to my neck, and that was nap time for me.

I think, as a culture, men have grown distant from each other, and we're no longer as intimate as we were in older generations. Now, some of that is, of course, the instant/removed nature of most communication these days. Some of it is a more general lack of community, but I also think we've become sort of afraid of coming across as gay because we're too "close" with other men. Look at the OP, and then look at my dad. In the OP, dmp feels a need to clarify that he isn't gay.

Finally, it also has grown out of feminism, something otherwise generally positive. At a certain point, it felt like men were being purposefully exclusionary with women, and to an extent, that was true, and needed amending. However, like with many course corrections, there's a tendency to throw the baby out with the bath water. There's a necessary element to male relation to one another, and it has nothing to do with sexuality.

Since then, I've started doing stuff with my guy friends that we haven't done a lot of. I mean, we still hang, but we've branched out a bit. For instance, I've gotten into more home cooking, so some nights, I have the guys over, and cook dinner, we have a few beers, and shoot the shit. And not just burgers, I've turned out things like surf n turf, chicken cordon bleu, real meals. We're setting up to do a camping trip up around Mt. Hood once spring is firmly in place.

[Said1]

so - I'll post this out on the world-wide web. Geesh :)


I am not interested in living a gay lifestyle. Man-man sex isn't attractive to me. Am I in the closet?

Rewind to 2004; I'd just moved into a new house and was meeting neighbors at the first HOA meeting. I meet a guy named Brian and his "husband" Jimmy. Brian and I hit it off - we have similar temperaments and likes. Brian was more conservative than Jimmy. As the years progressed I found myself really liking their company. Jimmy was a bitch at times - he'd get super mad when discussion turned to 'born gay' or not. Brian said he was born to make choices. After being married to a woman and fathering kids, Brian really enjoyed his new lifestyle. Jimmy insisted he was a victim of genetic disposition.

Their house looked like a Pier 1 Imports vomited into their split-entry (hah..just sounds funny. Gay men living in a SPLIT...ENTRY...house). I felt comfortable there, slightly intrigued too. Intrigued for a couple reasons. Firstly, I'm really excellent at design - of everything. I'm pretty awesome at being an 'idea guy' to just sorta fix things. In my marriage Mary would make a dish, then I'd spice it. In shopping, my daughter or ex find basic items and I make them work across many areas adding accessories and splash and what-not to stretch the dollar. Now, what caught me was this: While I like Pier 1, these two guys NEEDED my help to focus them a bit.

Next, I was pretty interested in their relationship. I could feel the connection between them. I was inquisitive about how they show affection; from a clinical standpoint.

I have a bit of a wandering soul. I really love engaging people different than I - my best memories of Japan, Russia, Thailand, Iraq - and many others center around eating with and talking with people vastly different. In Japan I was with three other Soldiers drinking Sake. A server brought another to us - one we didn't order. She motioned to a man across the bar as having purchased for us. We invited him to join us and spent HOURS literally drawing hieroglyphics to try and understand just the basics of who he was. I drew a map of the United states. Then highlighted Washington State, then about where Seattle is - and circled it. He nodded and drew Japan and found his hometown. I drew me as a Soldier - twice. Once with a Stinger missile and once with a typewriter - showing the two sides of my Career. He drew a parachute and a rifle and whatnot - showing he once was in the Japanese Ground Self Defense Force.

While in Alabama I accepted an invite to a friend's family 'after church' lunch. When I got there it was ME (who presents Caucasian) and about 30 folks of color. I was continually asked if I was okay; needed anything. At first the older folks there would sorta...talk slowly at times, as if I didn’t speak English. I'd would say "my lack of pigment doesn't affect my hearing". I'd throw out the occasional "...cuz white people are crazy..." when topics when to stupid stuff like "Why do people watch FISHING on TV?"

I sort of feel like that with Brian and Jimmy - or at any time I'm in a place with people having differences. So much fun finding the commonalities. Lots of fun to be, functionally, a minority.

So - I am drawn to being around queers and I am very interested in their lifestyle. Same with folks of other ethnicities and backgrounds. I want to know not just who they are but WHY they are in their place in life.
Fast forward to The Walking Dead Sunday night.

Darryl was eating dinner with two 'married' guys and the feelings of being around Jimmy and Brian's place hit me full force. Internally I wanted to be there eating dinner with them. I really felt drawn to that situation and I can't completely explain why, except one of the characters is good looking, well-spoken, and I like those types of people.

Does this make ANY sense?



mMakes total sense. Are you a Saggitarius? :d

[gabosaurus]

I refuse to go back and change it. I live the thug life! :)

http://i1311.photobucket.com/albums/s670/xxtaylorlmxx/puglife_zpsa07fe949.jpg

[darin]

mMakes total sense. Are you a Saggitarius? :d

Why yes. I actually AM :)