darin
02-09-2015, 07:52 AM
So - I have three pieces of wood in the firebox. They aren't seasoned - but they are dry. I tossed on a cup of Gasoline - no dice; fire went out quickly.
Because I'm cold, I wanted something to eat. I grabbed a bag of tortilla chips and - yuk. Stale. About 1/4 bag worth.
Because I'm pretty smart for a boy, and I can't watch ENOUGH shows like 'survivorman' - I think "I think SurvivorMan used a corn chip to start a fire!"
The logs were laying curved side down, with their peaks pointing up (sorta like a 'W' shape). I crunched the chips a bit and poured them over the logs - filling as much as I could the 'valley' portions (think: filled the V portions of the 'W' shape).
I lit two chips with a stick-lighter - took only a few seconds to light. I closed the firebox door nearly-tight. Not more than a couple minutes later the fire was ROARING!
:)
That got me thinking...
Using a toilet paper roll, I shoved a wad of dryer lint in one side. Next I poured in more Tortilla Chips, and capped it with more lint. Using left-over Tealight candles (left over from when I was romantic - instead of this jaded, woman-hating man I've become; because women are evil and they lie to their family as if THEY were the 'tortured' ones in the marriage...as if THEY had to put up with ME; not the other way around...as if THEY weren't the hurtful nasty ugly emotionally-abusive and distant partner), I melted wax atop each dryer-lint-plug to help it stay in the roll.
Next time I wanted a fire I used three logs - two round-side-down, one across the top (little pyramid? shape. sorta). I put my lint-chip roll in the valley tween the two on the bottom, and under the one on the top. I lit it...
WOW! Took off brilliantly :)
Because I'm cold, I wanted something to eat. I grabbed a bag of tortilla chips and - yuk. Stale. About 1/4 bag worth.
Because I'm pretty smart for a boy, and I can't watch ENOUGH shows like 'survivorman' - I think "I think SurvivorMan used a corn chip to start a fire!"
The logs were laying curved side down, with their peaks pointing up (sorta like a 'W' shape). I crunched the chips a bit and poured them over the logs - filling as much as I could the 'valley' portions (think: filled the V portions of the 'W' shape).
I lit two chips with a stick-lighter - took only a few seconds to light. I closed the firebox door nearly-tight. Not more than a couple minutes later the fire was ROARING!
:)
That got me thinking...
Using a toilet paper roll, I shoved a wad of dryer lint in one side. Next I poured in more Tortilla Chips, and capped it with more lint. Using left-over Tealight candles (left over from when I was romantic - instead of this jaded, woman-hating man I've become; because women are evil and they lie to their family as if THEY were the 'tortured' ones in the marriage...as if THEY had to put up with ME; not the other way around...as if THEY weren't the hurtful nasty ugly emotionally-abusive and distant partner), I melted wax atop each dryer-lint-plug to help it stay in the roll.
Next time I wanted a fire I used three logs - two round-side-down, one across the top (little pyramid? shape. sorta). I put my lint-chip roll in the valley tween the two on the bottom, and under the one on the top. I lit it...
WOW! Took off brilliantly :)