namvet
11-08-2014, 10:45 AM
Losers Unite: Wendy Davis, Sandra Fluke Console Each Other
FORT WORTH, Texas (WNB) - After losing by a combined margin of over 44 points, sources claim Democrats Wendy Davis from Texas and Sandra Fluke from California are seeking comfort and support from each other.
"It's a perfect fit - Sandra's a notoriously fertile mattress queen and Wendy gets off on the murder of unborn children. If she's not already, Sandra should be pregnant any minute - aborting the kid will do both these candidates a lot of good."
Nancy Pelosi Blames Loss On Voter Turnout - Suggests Fix
SAN FRANCISCO (WNB) - Nancy Pelosi (RTRD-CA) claims the overwhelming defeat of Democrats in the midterms had less to do with voter dissatisfaction than with Democrats simply not going to the polls.
"The vast majority of voters support this administration, but for whatever reasons, were not able to make it to the polls. To help correct this situation, I am going to draft legislation that allows voters to pick up new EBT cards at polling places on election days," said the frantically-blinking Pelosi.
Hillary Clinton In Deep Hiding
NEW YORK, NY (WNB) - Hillary Clinton has become invisible since Tuesday's election. The presumed presidential candidate was last seen on the campaign trail stumping for a Democrat that already nobody remembers. The fact every candidate Clinton personally appeared with lost, likely has much to do with her absence. One credible source claims to have seen Clinton on Wednesday in a remote area of Costa Rica. "It was either Hillary or a giant sloth with cankles."
Depressed Michelle Obama "Holed Up" In Bedroom
WASHINGTON (WNB) - White House sources say a depressed First Lady Michelle Obama has been locked in her bedroom since Tuesday night with a quantity of Ben & Jerry's 'Chunky Monkey' ice cream and several canned hams.
"Barry and Mooch had a big argument and she locked herself in the bedroom. I know she's still in there because I hear her farting," said the source.
http://i58.tinypic.com/207kn0k.jpg
Harry Reid Out Of A Job
WASHINGTON (WNB) - After six years marked by often-incoherent rhetoric, hubris, and embarrassing gaffes, Harry Reid (RTRD-NV) is losing his position as Senate Majority Leader.
Incoming replacement, Mitch McConnell, congratulated Reid for his 'substantial part' in motivating voters to not vote for Democrats. "Every time my esteemed colleague opened his mouth, the Republican Party probably gained a hundred votes. Only the President, Rep. Pelosi, and Atty. General Holder did more for our party's victory," said McConnell. "I wish Harry well, and look forward to buying a Big Mac from him soon."
http://i61.tinypic.com/2ajc6c9.jpg
Chinese Media Mock Obamas Before Visit
WANG CHUNG, China (WNB) - The state-run mouthpiece of the Chinese government, Global Times, has published a blistering editorial mocking the Obamas just days before they are scheduled to visit.
It stated in part:
Obama was elected by saying "Yes, we can." Sadly, the American public soon found out he was referring to eliminating their once-excellent healthcare system, flooding their country with illegal, illiterate welfare parasites, fostering social and racial divisions, and in general doing everything possible to turn the entire nation into Detroit.
Unfortunately, his transgendered wife has been even worse.
The editorial includes an insulting, obviously-altered photograph of First Lady Michelle Obama (below) and serves as a vivid reminder of the fact that the Chinese have never liked or respected the Obamas.
http://i60.tinypic.com/a3ytee.jpg
and last but not least a former Marine stands in front of the WH and let's Obozo have it
Sgt. Manny Vega is a former Marine (http://freedomoutpost.com/2014/09/former-marine-corps-head-obamas-strategy-against-isis-doesnt-stand-a-snowballs-chance-in-hell-of-succeeding/)who is now an active member of the Patriot Militia (http://www.dcclothesline.com/2014/09/11/armed-citizen-militias-build-along-us-mexico-border/). On Tuesday Night he left a victory celebration in Virginia to personally deliver a message to Barack Hussein Obama (http://freedomoutpost.com/2014/10/hussein-obama-us-one-biggest-muslim-nations/), while standing outside The White House (http://www.dcclothesline.com/2014/10/16/radio-personality-arpaio-zullo-meet-white-house-ill-arrest-obama/). Vega was "armed" with nothing more than a megaphone and his first amendment (http://www.dcclothesline.com/2014/05/17/harry-reid-democrats-seek-alter-first-amendments-free-speech-protection/) right to free speech:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_l1eFkysxcE
and that's the latest. PS: if you find Hillary call the WH otherwise Bill will hit every whorehouse in America
FORT WORTH, Texas (WNB) - After losing by a combined margin of over 44 points, sources claim Democrats Wendy Davis from Texas and Sandra Fluke from California are seeking comfort and support from each other.
"It's a perfect fit - Sandra's a notoriously fertile mattress queen and Wendy gets off on the murder of unborn children. If she's not already, Sandra should be pregnant any minute - aborting the kid will do both these candidates a lot of good."
Nancy Pelosi Blames Loss On Voter Turnout - Suggests Fix
SAN FRANCISCO (WNB) - Nancy Pelosi (RTRD-CA) claims the overwhelming defeat of Democrats in the midterms had less to do with voter dissatisfaction than with Democrats simply not going to the polls.
"The vast majority of voters support this administration, but for whatever reasons, were not able to make it to the polls. To help correct this situation, I am going to draft legislation that allows voters to pick up new EBT cards at polling places on election days," said the frantically-blinking Pelosi.
Hillary Clinton In Deep Hiding
NEW YORK, NY (WNB) - Hillary Clinton has become invisible since Tuesday's election. The presumed presidential candidate was last seen on the campaign trail stumping for a Democrat that already nobody remembers. The fact every candidate Clinton personally appeared with lost, likely has much to do with her absence. One credible source claims to have seen Clinton on Wednesday in a remote area of Costa Rica. "It was either Hillary or a giant sloth with cankles."
Depressed Michelle Obama "Holed Up" In Bedroom
WASHINGTON (WNB) - White House sources say a depressed First Lady Michelle Obama has been locked in her bedroom since Tuesday night with a quantity of Ben & Jerry's 'Chunky Monkey' ice cream and several canned hams.
"Barry and Mooch had a big argument and she locked herself in the bedroom. I know she's still in there because I hear her farting," said the source.
http://i58.tinypic.com/207kn0k.jpg
Harry Reid Out Of A Job
WASHINGTON (WNB) - After six years marked by often-incoherent rhetoric, hubris, and embarrassing gaffes, Harry Reid (RTRD-NV) is losing his position as Senate Majority Leader.
Incoming replacement, Mitch McConnell, congratulated Reid for his 'substantial part' in motivating voters to not vote for Democrats. "Every time my esteemed colleague opened his mouth, the Republican Party probably gained a hundred votes. Only the President, Rep. Pelosi, and Atty. General Holder did more for our party's victory," said McConnell. "I wish Harry well, and look forward to buying a Big Mac from him soon."
http://i61.tinypic.com/2ajc6c9.jpg
Chinese Media Mock Obamas Before Visit
WANG CHUNG, China (WNB) - The state-run mouthpiece of the Chinese government, Global Times, has published a blistering editorial mocking the Obamas just days before they are scheduled to visit.
It stated in part:
Obama was elected by saying "Yes, we can." Sadly, the American public soon found out he was referring to eliminating their once-excellent healthcare system, flooding their country with illegal, illiterate welfare parasites, fostering social and racial divisions, and in general doing everything possible to turn the entire nation into Detroit.
Unfortunately, his transgendered wife has been even worse.
The editorial includes an insulting, obviously-altered photograph of First Lady Michelle Obama (below) and serves as a vivid reminder of the fact that the Chinese have never liked or respected the Obamas.
http://i60.tinypic.com/a3ytee.jpg
and last but not least a former Marine stands in front of the WH and let's Obozo have it
Sgt. Manny Vega is a former Marine (http://freedomoutpost.com/2014/09/former-marine-corps-head-obamas-strategy-against-isis-doesnt-stand-a-snowballs-chance-in-hell-of-succeeding/)who is now an active member of the Patriot Militia (http://www.dcclothesline.com/2014/09/11/armed-citizen-militias-build-along-us-mexico-border/). On Tuesday Night he left a victory celebration in Virginia to personally deliver a message to Barack Hussein Obama (http://freedomoutpost.com/2014/10/hussein-obama-us-one-biggest-muslim-nations/), while standing outside The White House (http://www.dcclothesline.com/2014/10/16/radio-personality-arpaio-zullo-meet-white-house-ill-arrest-obama/). Vega was "armed" with nothing more than a megaphone and his first amendment (http://www.dcclothesline.com/2014/05/17/harry-reid-democrats-seek-alter-first-amendments-free-speech-protection/) right to free speech:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_l1eFkysxcE
and that's the latest. PS: if you find Hillary call the WH otherwise Bill will hit every whorehouse in America