Social dilemma: Could you stay friends with people like this?

[KitchenKitten99]

Most people don't like to pick sides in an argument between two other friends in a group on most issues.

This one has me on a fence now. Recently, a couple of friends in the group gang up and badly mistreat another friend, by out of nowhere verbally attacking that person, and just being plain a-holes to that person, right on Facebook no less. Basically very disgusting and childish behavior.

Could you continue to be friends with those people and separate yourself from it all (i.e. stay out of it), or would you disassociate yourself with them and just continue friendship with the one they mistreated unfairly?

[Gaffer]

I would remove them from the friends list and not have any more to do with them, after giving them a piece of my mind. It's happened to me before and that's how I handled it. I embarrassed the two publicly as well.

[Baba Booey]

Fuckum

[Gunny]

Most people don't like to pick sides in an argument between two other friends in a group on most issues.

This one has me on a fence now. Recently, a couple of friends in the group gang up and badly mistreat another friend, by out of nowhere verbally attacking that person, and just being plain a-holes to that person, right on Facebook no less. Basically very disgusting and childish behavior.

Could you continue to be friends with those people and separate yourself from it all (i.e. stay out of it), or would you disassociate yourself with them and just continue friendship with the one they mistreated unfairly?

I don't know about continuing to be friends, but I DO know I'd stay out of it.

[KitchenKitten99]

I don't know about continuing to be friends, but I DO know I'd stay out of it.

That's my question. I am staying out of the situation itself but someone has to stand up for this person who did NOTHING to the others that warranted what they did.

I really want nothing to do with the a-holes and I pretty much have stopped talking to them. But what baffles me is the others in the group that were not involved are trying to stay friends with both, but separately (separating times spent with activities). The one that was hurt is trying to not let it bother him (this whole group of friends, are guys, btw. I am one of the two females in the group). However I can tell it does because he feels that their continued association with the a-holes gives what they did, some kind of validation of the behavior. The other female in the group is also of the same opinion as me.

Is it just because we are female in the group of males that we are seeing what they did was that of a group of epic douchebags? Because the a-holes really are acting more like catty, hormonal teenage girls, IMO.

There is a deeper problem with what they did because it affected more than just friendships, but I won't go into that part.

[Gunny]

That's my question. I am staying out of the situation itself but someone has to stand up for this person who did NOTHING to the others that warranted what they did.

I really want nothing to do with the a-holes and I pretty much have stopped talking to them. But what baffles me is the others in the group that were not involved are trying to stay friends with both, but separately (separating times spent with activities). The one that was hurt is trying to not let it bother him (this whole group of friends, are guys, btw. I am one of the two females in the group). However I can tell it does because he feels that their continued association with the a-holes gives what they did, some kind of validation of the behavior. The other female in the group is also of the same opinion as me.

Is it just because we are female in the group of males that we are seeing what they did was that of a group of epic douchebags? Because the a-holes really are acting more like catty, hormonal teenage girls, IMO.

There is a deeper problem with what they did because it affected more than just friendships, but I won't go into that part.

I see. I'd stay out of the "group" thing and deal with the people in it individually if you wish to remain friends with them until the issue is resolved. Option B is stand up for the person you think was unfairly hurt, but you'll be targeted by those that targeted him. There's no "win" here. I would go with the first option.

Guys acting like catty, hormonal teenagers? Say it ain't so ...:laugh:

[KitchenKitten99]

I see. I'd stay out of the "group" thing and deal with the people in it individually if you wish to remain friends with them until the issue is resolved. Option B is stand up for the person you think was unfairly hurt, but you'll be targeted by those that targeted him. There's no "win" here. I would go with the first option.

Guys acting like catty, hormonal teenagers? Say it ain't so ...:laugh:


I really don't care if I get 'targeted' because I will end whatever BS they think they can toss my way and make their nightmares seem like CandyLand.

And these guys are all 45 years old and older...

[Gunny]

I really don't care if I get 'targeted' because I will end whatever BS they think they can toss my way and make their nightmares seem like CandyLand.

And these guys are all 45 years old and older...

Great. Did you take the psycho test in the other thread? :laugh:

[fj1200]

This one has me on a fence now. Recently, a couple of friends in the group gang up and badly mistreat another friend, by out of nowhere verbally attacking that person, and just being plain a-holes to that person, right on Facebook no less. Basically very disgusting and childish behavior.

Sometimes you need to take a stand, perhaps a "dude, chill" would help.

[NightTrain]

When I see drama developing between friends on FB, I generally keep my mouth shut and let themselves be fools even if I have an opinion.

If it's a pattern they have, then I nuke them off the friends list.

FB isn't really the place for that, this board is... and I get my fix for arguing here.

I've always seen FB arguments as akin to going to your high school reunion, jumping up on to the stage and announcing that every Democrat in the room is a commie-pinko-fag. Even the people that think you're right will be wondering WTF is wrong with your internal wiring.

[KitchenKitten99]

Great. Did you take the psycho test in the other thread? :laugh:

Oh I don't need to take a test for that.
:dev:

[KitchenKitten99]

When I see drama developing between friends on FB, I generally keep my mouth shut and let themselves be fools even if I have an opinion.

If it's a pattern they have, then I nuke them off the friends list.

FB isn't really the place for that, this board is... and I get my fix for arguing here.

I've always seen FB arguments as akin to going to your high school reunion, jumping up on to the stage and announcing that every Democrat in the room is a commie-pinko-fag. Even the people that think you're right will be wondering WTF is wrong with your internal wiring.

The personal attacks were on FB, but the question is more about could you socialize and be around people who mistreat your other friends?

I pretty much want nothing to do with them but I just can't see how any of the others could go on being friends as if nothing happened and the person they attacked really doesn't matter.

Sad state of affairs. But I will stand by the innocent one and what is right.