Pick up lines -

[Daniyel]

Hey what's up?

I Can't hold my laugh while writing so short to point, what is the funniest pick up line you ever heard of?
"You are so beautiful I want to marry you right now, and next week divorce you and take half of your money"
Ready? Go!

:laugh:

[tailfins]

"I only date women that put out on the first date."

That line cuts down on the frustration factor. It works best in Spanish or Portuguese.

[Daniyel]

"I only date women that put out on the first date."

That line cuts down on the frustration factor. It works best in Spanish or Portuguese.
It sounds hilarious if anyone hear you say it :laugh:

[hjmick]

Excuse me, does this handkerchief smell like chloroform to you?

[aboutime]

"I only date women that put out on the first date."

That line cuts down on the frustration factor. It works best in Spanish or Portuguese.


That explains WHY, and HOW you end up talking to the Palms of your hands. No frustration, and it doesn't seem to matter WHAT language you are using.

Good thing for you. Your Palms never TURN YOU DOWN.:laugh:

[tailfins]

That explains WHY, and HOW you end up talking to the Palms of your hands. No frustration, and it doesn't seem to matter WHAT language you are using.

Good thing for you. Your Palms never TURN YOU DOWN.:laugh:

Actually the response often was to say she wasn't "that" kind of girl, but she has an easy and attractive cousin, neighbor, etc. You obviously haven't tried it. Being crass works more often than you think. Be very careful to state what you're looking for, not what you expect THAT girl to do. It's not a matter of being rich or attractive, but being in the right place at the right time when she wants it. Before I met my wife, I met this checkout girl at the supermarket who wanted "relaxation" after work. On her days off, forget it.

[aboutime]

Actually the response often was to say she wasn't "that" kind of girl, but she has an easy and attractive cousin, neighbor, etc. You obviously haven't tried it. Being crass works more often than you think. Be very careful to state what you're looking for, not what you expect THAT girl to do.



I've been married to the same Lady for 45 years. Have no need to use 'pickup lines'. If you still have to operate that way. Sounds like my 'Palm' idea is your preference anyhow.

[tailfins]

I've been married to the same Lady for 45 years. Have no need to use 'pickup lines'. If you still have to operate that way. Sounds like my 'Palm' idea is your preference anyhow.

Don't be so selfish. Just because you and I are "set", doesn't mean you can't advise others how to "get some".

[Daniyel]

I've been married to the same Lady for 45 years. Have no need to use 'pickup lines'. If you still have to operate that way. Sounds like my 'Palm' idea is your preference anyhow.
I'm also sort of taken but these stories usually turn out to be funny, my friend proposed kneeling on his fiance feet, the poor guy asked her "How old did you said your name is?" :laugh:

[aboutime]

I'm also sort of taken but these stories usually turn out to be funny, my friend proposed kneeling on his fiance feet, the poor guy asked her "How old did you said your name is?" :laugh:


Great stuff. Thanks for the laughs.:clap:

[Said1]

Total stranger in a ver loud bar asks if I'm having a good time and puts a drink in front of me on the table (for moi?) I reply with 'yes, but it's so loud, it's hard to talk.' He says cool, then He leans in so to speak directly into my ear and yells 'ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?'. Duh.

[aboutime]

Total stranger in a ver loud bar asks if I'm having a good time and puts a drink in front of me on the table (for moi?) I reply with 'yes, but it's so loud, it's hard to talk.' He says cool, then He leans in so to speak directly into my ear and yells 'ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?'. Duh.


Some of the funniest people I've ever met, or known...get even funnier after a few drinks of liquid courage.

[Abbey Marie]

"You should be wearing sunglasses, 'cause your future is so bright".

[tailfins]

Some of the funniest people I've ever met, or known...get even funnier after a few drinks of liquid courage.

You seem to have lots of practice with that topic. If that's the yardstick, you're hilarious.

[SassyLady]

This one cracked me up so much I had to go out with the guy,

Looked at me and said

Him "Knock, Knock"
Me (laughing) "Ok, I'll play .... who's there?"
Him "Emerson"
Me "Emerson who?"
Him "Em are some nice boobs you have"

Audacious .... and I really do have nice boobs.



(No Jim, no pics).

:rofl1:

[Jeff]

This one cracked me up so much I had to go out with the guy,

Looked at me and said

Him "Knock, Knock"
Me (laughing) "Ok, I'll play .... who's there?"
Him "Emerson"
Me "Emerson who?"
Him "Em are some nice boobs you have"

Audacious .... and I really do have nice boobs.



(No Jim, no pics).

:rofl1:

I wouldn't send them to Jim either but my inbox is empty :laugh:

[aboutime]

You seem to have lots of practice with that topic. If that's the yardstick, you're hilarious.


There was a time when I had lots of practice. Been dry for many years. I'm an Alcoholic. As for the yardstick. Nothing funny about people who have to DRINK in order to become the people they think they are.

[Daniyel]

There was a time when I had lots of practice. Been dry for many years. I'm an Alcoholic. As for the yardstick. Nothing funny about people who have to DRINK in order to become the people they think they are.
Yeah it's up to mood, but alcohol does release the shyness plus makes you tired so you just want to say it and done.

[gabosaurus]

"I only date women that put out on the first date."

That line cuts down on the frustration factor. It works best in Spanish or Portuguese.

Why date a Portuguese woman when you can merely buy one off the internet? Unless you just want a "try before you buy" thing.

[logroller]

This one cracked me up so much I had to go out with the guy,

Looked at me and said

Him "Knock, Knock"
Me (laughing) "Ok, I'll play .... who's there?"
Him "Emerson"
Me "Emerson who?"
Him "Em are some nice boobs you have"

Audacious .... and I really do have nice boobs.



(No Jim, no pics).

:rofl1:
Along that line, "Is your phone in your back pocket? 'Cause your ass has been calling me."

My favorite is "I just wanna know two two things: what makes you smile and what numbers to dial?"
Worked surprisingly well.

[Daniyel]

Along that line, "Is your phone in your back pocket? 'Cause your ass has been calling me."

My favorite is "I just wanna know two two things: what makes you smile and what numbers to dial?"
Worked surprisingly well.
I can feel my cheek burning for the incoming slap on the first one :laugh:

[Redrose]

Between husbands, I was single for four years. One guy approached me and said "my blood tests were negative, how about it?

I said "mind weren't" and walked away. The fact he had no front teeth didn't help. (Canadian hockey player he claimed)

(My blood tests are really OK) lol