Son's private school

[jimnyc]

So Jordan had his first day in private school yesterday. He'll ultimately be in classes for gifted children, but is first in the "minor leagues" as I like to call it. They give him one on one from the teachers for 3 weeks to get him up to date, then they'll integrate him into the regular classes. I think his largest class will have 4 kids total in it! In addition to the head on teaching (college accelerated), he also gets assigned a nutritionist, and a life coach.

The wife took the train with him to Stamford Connecticut yesterday and his school is right around the corner. A shuttle bus will bring him there daily. After his first day of school, he got to the train station - and gets on the train going north instead of south and ends up somewhere in CT I never heard of! And he didn't even know at first that he was going the wrong way. Had to get him off and go to the other side and turn around. He didn't get back here until like 5:40 or so, but was still in good spirits and is thrilled to be going to this new school.

Every class will sorta be like going somewhere for extra help. They will literally cater to his needs. Hell, they even ASKED him where he wanted to start off in History. WTF? School never asked me a damn thing about where I wanted to start! And he's going to love Gym class - as 3 times per week they will bus them to "Chelsea Piers" in CT, which is an offshoot of the one in NYC. It's I believe like 90,000 square feet with every imaginable sport there (basketball, batting cages, soccer, trampolines...) and he can also enroll in certain classes.

AND when he gets to 11th and 12th grade, he can take extra credit courses from student teachers from UCONN. If he takes these, he gets college credits upon graduation. I'm sure it's tiny, but even 8 or so credits is a lot!!

[tailfins]

How do you manage to afford it? Most private schools I have read about have a five figure annual price tag.

[jimnyc]

How do you manage to afford it? Most private schools I have read about have a five figure annual price tag.

It's $39k per year until next year when he hits HS and then it will be $46k per year. Certainly above what I can afford, even when I was doing quite well in the IT world. My wife is a fairly major player (NE Director) for a monster sized real estate company in NYC. And unlike me, she's responsible, saves & is preparing for retirement. :)

But we're far from rich by any means, at least I'm not! LOL I probably won't see pizza for 4 1/2 years now, and probably gotta wear the same pair of jeans for weeks at a time.

[Abbey Marie]

Wow, Jim, that sounds fantastic!

(If you can, get him into some school band, too- jazz is especially good).

[jimnyc]

Wow, Jim, that sounds fantastic!

(If you can, get him into some school band, too- jazz is especially good).

He likes music, but not sure he likes it enough to invest time into learning. He's more of a technology or science kind of kid. But I would love it if he took up some sort of music. He took violin lessons a few years back but quit.

[gabosaurus]

What made you decide to switch to a private school?
Just yesterday, I recommended a switch to a private school for a woman whose child has a severe attention deficit disorder. The school emphasizes subjects taught at a "learn at your own pace" method and technical skills.

[tailfins]

What made you decide to switch to a private school?
Just yesterday, I recommended a switch to a private school for a woman whose child has a severe attention deficit disorder. The school emphasizes subjects taught at a "learn at your own pace" method and technical skills.

Government schools groom graduates to be minimum wage earners. Between the curriculum geared for the dumbest students, the micromanagement, stifling independent thought/work, government schools are training grounds for failure.

[jimnyc]

What made you decide to switch to a private school?
Just yesterday, I recommended a switch to a private school for a woman whose child has a severe attention deficit disorder. The school emphasizes subjects taught at a "learn at your own pace" method and technical skills.

He has some form of Aspergers, as diagnosed from 2 clinical psychologists. This was brought about due to social issues at school; bullying, feeling not liked, withdrawn...

So it was suggested to look at alternative schools, schools that cater to his needs. The kid is beyond smart for his age, too smart in fact. But in the public school system he was just doing what he needed to do to get by. He literally hated going there.

[jafar00]

Congratulations Jim. You must be proud as punch!

[Abbey Marie]

He has some form of Aspergers, as diagnosed from 2 clinical psychologists. This was brought about due to social issues at school; bullying, feeling not liked, withdrawn...

So it was suggested to look at alternative schools, schools that cater to his needs. The kid is beyond smart for his age, too smart in fact. But in the public school system he was just doing what he needed to do to get by. He literally hated going there.


This is the main reason why I suggested band. It puts you in a fairly cohesive group almost every day, and like sports, you work towards a group and individual goal. Maybe he would like something a bit more relatable than violin? Maybe drums?

[gabosaurus]

He has some form of Aspergers, as diagnosed from 2 clinical psychologists. This was brought about due to social issues at school; bullying, feeling not liked, withdrawn...

So it was suggested to look at alternative schools, schools that cater to his needs. The kid is beyond smart for his age, too smart in fact. But in the public school system he was just doing what he needed to do to get by. He literally hated going there.

Quite an excellent choice, I must say. We have a Gifted and Talented school that is like that. Kids are placed in a classroom setting and challenged on a daily basis. They are not allowed to be bored or passive. They are also required to take part in an activity, either sports, music or academic competition. This draws them out of their shell.
Some kids do just enough to get by. When they get to college, they can't keep up because they haven't acquired the proper work skills.

[jimnyc]

This is the main reason why I suggested band. It puts you in a fairly cohesive group almost every day, and like sports, you work towards a group and individual goal. Maybe he would like something a bit more relatable than violin? Maybe drums?

The neighbor has 3 kids. One is about 15 right now and has been playing the drums since he was about 5 or so. And his room faces our house. They are very respectful and only let him practice in clips, and never late/early hours. Nonetheless, I would like to strangle him. He always finds a way to be practicing when I'm watching the Simpsons after dinner! But he's a good kid, so I just turn up the volume. :)

This school will try and seek out what he REALLY likes and try to encourage the very things you speak of. Only time will tell if he reaches out for something else. He's an odd little bird. His worst class for the past 2 years was Chinese. It drove him nuts and he consistently got D's or C's. He is taking it again here, and requested it. He's determined to learn it. :dunno:

He's now discussed his classes 2 days in a row, and spoke of teachers AND used their names. Met a kid that went together with him to the train, and the kid showed him how to navigate the station and find his train using the "big board". He also said he has met so many people already. I'm obviously not going to jump the gun, but his attitude is night and day in just a few short days. I hope it stays that way as his days get longer and things no longer 'new' to him.

[jimnyc]

Quite an excellent choice, I must say. We have a Gifted and Talented school that is like that. Kids are placed in a classroom setting and challenged on a daily basis. They are not allowed to be bored or passive. They are also required to take part in an activity, either sports, music or academic competition. This draws them out of their shell.
Some kids do just enough to get by. When they get to college, they can't keep up because they haven't acquired the proper work skills.

That's what I'm hoping, that the smaller environment will help him come out of his shell. He's already proven to take the lead when in smaller environments, but in larger groups he tends to sit back and follow. He's also not challenged as you say, and I think he is afraid to raise his hand, ask questions, seek help... With a nutritionist, life coach, and teachers in all small environments, he will be pushed to his potential, but he'll be in an environment that will hopefully allow him to accept the challenges.

[gabosaurus]

That's what I'm hoping, that the smaller environment will help him come out of his shell. He's already proven to take the lead when in smaller environments, but in larger groups he tends to sit back and follow. He's also not challenged as you say, and I think he is afraid to raise his hand, ask questions, seek help... With a nutritionist, life coach, and teachers in all small environments, he will be pushed to his potential, but he'll be in an environment that will hopefully allow him to accept the challenges.

Your son needs to be challenged. In smaller classes, you can't hide in the back. If you don't raise your hand, they call on you. If you fall behind on your work, they ask you why.
Best thing my parents ever did for me was send me to a math camp at Stanford when I was 15. You were assigned a roommate, had to work in different groups and forced to participate in activities. I was shy and had low self esteem at that time, but it pretty much disappeared after two weeks.
I was stunned to find out how much it cost my parents, but it proved to be a great investment.

[logroller]

That's awesome Jim. Superb news. :bunny4::bunny4:

[glockmail]

I can't imagine spending that much, plus paying the ultra-high real estate taxes that you do for schools that don't work. That was the primary reason why I moved out of NY 18 years ago.

The schools here are consolidated into a county district, so they have the resources to have special classes, in fact special schools, to deal with special needs kids. In second grade they test them all to find the special kids so they can put them into the programs that they need to thrive.

My own special needs son tested out among the top one percent so were able to take the option and send him to the central elementary school. That school accelerates the standard program at least one grade level, up to two, so that by high school they are taking classes at the central career center, which is basically a community college. The carer center also has classes for trades; kids who don't plan on college.

His elementary school also has the kids with other special needs: physical, emotional, learning disabilities. The thrive there as well since the high achiever kids aren't typically apt to pick on them.

[jimnyc]

I can't imagine spending that much, plus paying the ultra-high real estate taxes that you do for schools that don't work. That was the primary reason why I moved out of NY 18 years ago.

The schools here are consolidated into a county district, so they have the resources to have special classes, in fact special schools, to deal with special needs kids. In second grade they test them all to find the special kids so they can put them into the programs that they need to thrive.

My own special needs son tested out among the top one percent so were able to take the option and send him to the central elementary school. That school accelerates the standard program at least one grade level, up to two, so that by high school they are taking classes at the central career center, which is basically a community college. The carer center also has classes for trades; kids who don't plan on college.

His elementary school also has the kids with other special needs: physical, emotional, learning disabilities. The thrive there as well since the high achiever kids aren't typically apt to pick on them.

Yep, no doubt. I think our taxes last year were around $13k? And the schools here, being highly rated throughout the region, just simply don't seem to care about kids that may have special needs. The public school ignored our repeated complaints and begging to help us turn things around.

For Jordan, all he really needs is a different environment, perhaps smaller, perhaps one where each kid is accounted for an watched individually. He'll have an opportunity to open up more with individual attention. Plus the curriculum will allow him to gain more from his education than he would elsewhere.

Sure, it's expensive, and I really don't fully agree with the pricing, I don't think it's sunk in yet. Then again, he's my only son, and we only get one chance at this. And with where my wife works, in her business, her salary would likely drop 50-75% unless it was like Chicago or Los Angeles!

[glockmail]

Yep, no doubt. I think our taxes last year were around $13k? And the schools here, being highly rated throughout the region, just simply don't seem to care about kids that may have special needs. The public school ignored our repeated complaints and begging to help us turn things around.

For Jordan, all he really needs is a different environment, perhaps smaller, perhaps one where each kid is accounted for an watched individually. He'll have an opportunity to open up more with individual attention. Plus the curriculum will allow him to gain more from his education than he would elsewhere.

Sure, it's expensive, and I really don't fully agree with the pricing, I don't think it's sunk in yet. Then again, he's my only son, and we only get one chance at this. And with where my wife works, in her business, her salary would likely drop 50-75% unless it was like Chicago or Los Angeles!

$13k is almost 4 times what I pay. I'm loathe to brag about it but this house is fairly upscale, 4100 sf, all brick with a two car basement garage.

Based on my personal experience, I disagree that your wife's salary would drop. When I moved from Boston to upstate NY in '85 my old boss said that I wouldn't be making the money that I would if I stayed. I got a substantial increase in my new job. That, plus I could afford a decent apartment in a decent neighborhood for the first time.

When I moved from Upstate NY to NC I was warned by many to expect a lesser salary. I again got a substantial increase in my new job. The housing costs were about the same, except for real estate taxes, which were 1/3 to 1/4 as much as NY. The tax savings allowed me to buy a much nicer home than we had been in.