Fake Concern

[tailfins]

Have your seen those condolence cards sent by someone's department in a company? I know I have had these shoved under my nose and need to offer my condolences about someone who I didn't care whether they lived or died, much less one of their relatives. However it was necessary to sign as not to appear like someone who's not a team player. Which would you rather have if the recipient? That no card be sent because it's a reminder of people who don't care for real, or a card be sent because it still somehow feels good to get one? Inquiring minds want to know!

[aboutime]

Have your seen those condolence cards sent by someone's department in a company? I know I have had these shoved under my nose and need to offer my condolences about someone who I didn't care whether they lived or died, much less one of their relatives. However it was necessary to sign as not to appear like someone who's not a team player. Which would you rather have if the recipient? That no card be sent because it's a reminder of people who don't care for real, or a card be sent because it still somehow feels good to get one? Inquiring minds want to know!


That's how you learn WHO the real hypocrites are. Honest people who don't know the person for which the card was presented...do not sign something, just to be part of the gang, or a team player. Honesty TRUMPS everything, and everyone else.

[logroller]

Just stopped by based on thread title, having not actually read the op.

[Kathianne]

Wow. While I haven't always liked all of the folks I've worked with over these many years, when someone's husband, wife, child, parent has died, I've still felt enough compassion to offer my condolences and usually attend the services if possible.

Why? Basic human decency.

[Jeff]

Wow. While I haven't always liked all of the folks I've worked with over these many years, when someone's husband, wife, child, parent has died, I've still felt enough compassion to offer my condolences and usually attend the services if possible.

Why? Basic human decency.

I have to agree Kat, If I was to meet a perfect stranger and he/she had just lost a loved one I would offer my condolences , by no way does this show you are a hypocrite or anything like it to me it shows you are human , but I do understand what AT or tailfins are saying when you are asked to sign a card because the bosses maids sister had her tonsils removed but as far as death I would sign any card all day long whether I knew them or not, a simple I'm sorry may help someone through there darkest hours

[aboutime]

For all who question, or disapprove of my previous response on this topic.

It's a matter of principle, and as most of us should know. "Being true to thy self" kind of thing. Nothing more.
We see the hypocrisy in such actions almost every day. And, as long as we are willfully convinced to "do it because everybody else does it". Doesn't make it right, honest, or the moral thing to do.

For the very same reasons, as most of us have seen here. I intentionally forbid myself from wishing former member ROBERT, any phony thanks, or condolences because that would have been typically hypocritical of me to do so...IF I WASN'T SERIOUS.
So. If someone doesn't like my response.
Move on. It's over.

[tailfins]

Wow. While I haven't always liked all of the folks I've worked with over these many years, when someone's husband, wife, child, parent has died, I've still felt enough compassion to offer my condolences and usually attend the services if possible.

Why? Basic human decency.

I have a little experiment for you. First of all, I'm not talking about the 15% of so of us that function in society. I'm talking about the ones that fail. My challenge to you is attend an ASD support group in your area. Listen to all the twenty-somethings that can't get even a first date no matter how hard they try. Listen to the others that got fired from menial job after menial job after getting an advanced degree until finally giving up and going on SSDI. Where do THEY get to experience "basic human decency"? Either they stay on SSDI or wake up one day and decide they're going to get what they need any way they legally can and decide not to give a second thought to other people's cares or interests. Take a good look at those people and tell me who cared about their feelings or interests? Aspies are bully magnets. Again, solve the problem any way you legally can. Don't give a second thought about saddling someone with a criminal record.

I can tell you about the some of my experiences if you're interested.

[logroller]

I have a little experiment for you. First of all, I'm not talking about the 15% of so of us that function in society. I'm talking about the ones that fail. My challenge to you is attend an ASD support group in your area. Listen to all the twenty-somethings that can't get even a first date no matter how hard they try. Listen to the others that got fired from menial job after menial job after getting an advanced degree until finally giving up and going on SSDI. Where do THEY get to experience "basic human decency"? Either they stay on SSDI or wake up one day and decide they're going to get what they need any way they legally can and decide not to give a second thought to other people's cares or interests. Take a good look at those people and tell me who cared about their feelings or interests? Aspies are bully magnets. Again, solve the problem any way you legally can. Don't give a second thought about saddling someone with a criminal record.

I can tell you about the some of my experiences if you're interested.

Thats not an experiment, that's a task.

To be quite frank, I have a hard time making sense of how someone who can't negotiate social rules and cues truly decides not to give a second thought other people's cares and interests. It's like a deaf person deciding not to care about how well someone sings.

And you seem to think people who don't have autism disorders just get their run of the roost-- well think again. I'm smarter than the average person and, guess what, people notice that-- even bullies. I'm astutely aware of my lacking interest in "small-talk", casual conversation etc. and "fitting in" is something I have always struggled with. But I manage the best I can, focus on those things that I can do that others can't and don't fall back on how other's lack humanity--such differences are what make us human, good or bad.

Its a rough and tough world out there; if you stick out like a sore thumb, you're gonna get jammed up sometimes.

[tailfins]

Thats not an experiment, that's a task.

To be quite frank, I have a hard time making sense of how someone who can't negotiate social rules and cues truly decides not to give a second thought other people's cares and interests. It's like a deaf person deciding not to care about how well someone sings.

And you seem to think people who don't have autism disorders just get their run of the roost-- well think again. I'm smarter than the average person and, guess what, people notice that-- even bullies. I'm astutely aware of my lacking interest in "small-talk", casual conversation etc. and "fitting in" is something I have always struggled with. But I manage the best I can, focus on those things that I can do that others can't and don't fall back on how other's lack humanity--such differences are what make us human, good or bad.

Its a rough and tough world out there; if you stick out like a sore thumb, you're gonna get jammed up sometimes.

That's an interesting analogy. If they once had hearing they could drive themselves nuts caring about such things.

Thankfully, I got my life already built. It might have necessary to go about it in an uber-convoluted way, but the job got done. I get rattled by seeing others like me get the shaft. Successfully clearing the hurdle of successful new social interaction would be a nice accomplishment, but I can live without it. I still can't figure out why the immigrant scene is less rough and tough, but it is markedly less so. Clearing that hurdle isn't a MUST in my case, but being able to explain how to do it would be a nice thing to have in my social toolbox.

[logroller]

That's an interesting analogy. If they once had hearing they could drive themselves nuts caring about such things.

Thankfully, I got my life already built. It might have necessary to go about it in an uber-convoluted way, but the job got done. I get rattled by seeing others like me get the shaft. Successfully clearing the hurdle of successful new social interaction would be a nice accomplishment, but I can live without it. I still can't figure out why the immigrant scene is less rough and tough, but it is markedly less so. Clearing that hurdle isn't a MUST in my case, but being able to explain how to do it would be a nice thing to have in my social toolbox.

If I could offer one piece of advice, seek first to understand, then to be understood. Most of time I upset someone, its because I jumped to a conclusion....and even if I'm right, it doesn't matter-- people want to be heard.

[tailfins]

If I could offer one piece of advice, seek first to understand, then to be understood. Most of time I upset someone, its because I jumped to a conclusion....and even if I'm right, it doesn't matter-- people want to be heard.

That's interesting. Obviously when major parts of your brain have near-zero functionality, there's lots of pieces missing to the puzzle. There must have been lots of between-the-lines communication going on between Robert and Kathianne. Perhaps 90% of it made no sense. All I saw was Robert struggling to function on a message board. From my vantage point I'm proud of Robert for dusting himself off and continuing to try when he just as easily could have decided to power off his computer and go feed some birds thinking "this internet stuff is more trouble than it's worth".

Some examples of the above are that human bonding, embarrassment, the flow of a conversation are all not part of my being.

[Marcus Aurelius]

...All I saw was Robert struggling to function on a message board....

Whitless didn't struggle to function here. He struggled to make himself matter here... to be important here... to be the smartest one in the room... to be the most talented one in the room... to constantly tell everyone else why he was supposed to be the center of attention here.

He failed. Miserably.

[logroller]

Whitless didn't struggle to function here. He struggled to make himself matter here... to be important here... to be the smartest one in the room... to be the most talented one in the room... to constantly tell everyone else why he was supposed to be the center of attention here.

He failed. Miserably.
Have you sought to understand why he might feel that need for acceptance?
I believe that's tailfins' struggle. He doesn't feel that need, nor does he understand it but, I'll give the guy credit, he's atleast expressed an interest in doing so.

[Marcus Aurelius]

Have you sought to understand why he might feel that need for acceptance?
I believe that's tailfins' struggle. He doesn't feel that need, nor does he understand it but, I'll give the guy credit, he's atleast expressed an interest in doing so.

It wasn't a matter of acceptance with him. His narcissistic personality disorder required that he be the top man on the totem pole. Anything less than that was utterly unacceptable to him and he simply could not fathom why no one agreed that he was the best, the brightest, the most worthy poster here.

[logroller]

It wasn't a matter of acceptance with him. His narcissistic personality disorder required that he be the top man on the totem pole. Anything less than that was utterly unacceptable to him and he simply could not fathom why no one agreed that he was the best, the brightest, the most worthy poster here.
And that bothers you, why?

[Marcus Aurelius]

http://www.debatepolicy.com/images/debate_policy/misc/quote_icon.png Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius http://www.debatepolicy.com/images/debate_policy/buttons/viewpost-right.png (http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?p=659124#post659124)
It wasn't a matter of acceptance with him. His narcissistic personality disorder required that he be the top man on the totem pole. Anything less than that was utterly unacceptable to him and he simply could not fathom why no one agreed that he was the best, the brightest, the most worthy poster here.




And that bothers you, why?

Because I am the top man on the totem pole... the best, the brightest, the most worthy poster here.... and there is only room for one of us... :poke:

[logroller]

That question was sorta rhetorical, as I believe you like being at the top, or least get some satisfaction from knocking someone down a peg-- neither, I might add, are an indication of superior mental health....I read that in book by the way. ;)

[Marcus Aurelius]

That question was sorta rhetorical, as I believe you like being at the top, or least get some satisfaction from knocking someone down a peg-- neither, I might add, are an indication of superior mental health....I read that in book by the way. ;)

Trust me, I am well aware of the lack of mental health. Difference is, I don't really care.:cool:

[logroller]

Trust me, I am well aware of the lack of mental health. Difference is, I don't really care.:cool:

That's the reason you'll not only never be at the top of totem pole, but neither will you be a part of the tallest one. :Cheers:

[Marcus Aurelius]

That's the reason you'll not only never be at the top of totem pole, but neither will you be a part of the tallest one. :Cheers:

I am perfectly content with my mediocrity. :beer:

[Abbey Marie]

Thats not an experiment, that's a task.

To be quite frank, I have a hard time making sense of how someone who can't negotiate social rules and cues truly decides not to give a second thought other people's cares and interests. It's like a deaf person deciding not to care about how well someone sings.

And you seem to think people who don't have autism disorders just get their run of the roost-- well think again. I'm smarter than the average person and, guess what, people notice that-- even bullies. I'm astutely aware of my lacking interest in "small-talk", casual conversation etc. and "fitting in" is something I have always struggled with. But I manage the best I can, focus on those things that I can do that others can't and don't fall back on how other's lack humanity--such differences are what make us human, good or bad.

Its a rough and tough world out there; if you stick out like a sore thumb, you're gonna get jammed up sometimes. Whatever your particular challenges, log, I've never had the sense that you approach life like a victim. I think that is key to success on all levels of life.

[aboutime]

That's the reason you'll not only never be at the top of totem pole, but neither will you be a part of the tallest one. :Cheers:


Of course. You wouldn't also appreciate anyone saying such a thing to, or about you. Would you?

[tailfins]

Trust me, I am well aware of the lack of mental health. Difference is, I don't really care.:cool:

Were you born that way, or did you hit your head on something?

[Marcus Aurelius]

Were you born that way, or did you hit your head on something?

I read too many of your posts, and they had a negative effect on me.

[Jeff]

Have you sought to understand why he might feel that need for acceptance?
I believe that's tailfins' struggle. He doesn't feel that need, nor does he understand it but, I'll give the guy credit, he's atleast expressed an interest in doing so.

log I am with ya here , I am sure you seen me post saying I think he was just a lonely old guy with lots of experiences he wants to share but I have to tell ya when he would get banned from a thread he just went on about Jim being unfair and Jim this and Jim that ( and this is to me :laugh: I am sure you see what I am talking about ) but even through all that I would stay calm and try to explain to him, one example Jim had came on and warned Marcus and Robert to quit, he told them Marcus answered ( by not answering ) so just let it go , the very next post was Robert saying I didn't see Marcus's reply could you tell me what it was and Jim banned him from that thread , I spent all night in PM trying to explain what was wrong but all Robert could say was Jim breaks his own rules :laugh: I truly liked Robert ( at times I had to ignore him but I really thought he just wanted to fit in to every post made ) but I warned him and explained to him how easy it was to get along

[jimnyc]

Let me show you how much I care about Robert, or other baseless complaints...

[aboutime]

Were you born that way, or did you hit your head on something?


tailfins. Asking such a question would be similar to me asking you....
"Did your parents ever have any children?"

But I'd prefer to ask you..."Were you born stupid, or did you learn to be stupid on your own?"

[tailfins]

Let me show you how much I care about Robert, or other baseless complaints...

Let's not consider them complaints, but rather lessons to be learned. By explaining to someone how to do something, you are also reviewing the same information in your mind.


tailfins. Asking such a question would be similar to me asking you....
"Did your parents ever have any children?"

But I'd prefer to ask you..."Were you born stupid, or did you learn to be stupid on your own?"


You're starting to rub off on me!

[aboutime]

Jim. This is for tailfins.......http://icansayit.com/images/crystalball.jpg

[Marcus Aurelius]

Let me show you how much I care about Robert, or other baseless complaints...

5404

[Marcus Aurelius]

http://www.debatepolicy.com/images/debate_policy/misc/quote_icon.png Originally Posted by jimnyc http://www.debatepolicy.com/images/debate_policy/buttons/viewpost-right.png (http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?p=659176#post659176)
Let me show you how much I care about Robert, or other baseless complaints...




Let's not consider them complaints, but rather lessons to be learned. By explaining to someone how to do something, you are also reviewing the same information in your mind.




Did you really just imply that Jim needs to review the board rules in his mind? Pretty sure he doesn't need to review them, as he wrote them.

[aboutime]

Let's not consider them complaints, but rather lessons to be learned. By explaining to someone how to do something, you are also reviewing the same information in your mind.




You're starting to rub off on me!


Sounds like a compliment from a teacher to me.

[tailfins]

Did you really just imply that Jim needs to review the board rules in his mind? Pretty sure he doesn't need to review them, as he wrote them.

I didn't do that knowingly. If you see me intentionally imply something, please let me know. My attempts at such are generally obvious and poorly executed.

There must be something to learn here or I would have gotten bored with the board and left. Six months ago I signed up on USMB, got bored and lost interest in posting there. That's the funny thing about message boards: I never know if I'm going to like them until joining and seeing if boredom sets in.

Quite frankly, I just post the first thing that comes to mind.

[Marcus Aurelius]

I didn't do that knowingly. If you see me intentionally imply something, please let me know. My attempts at such are generally obvious and poorly executed.

There must be something to learn here or I would have gotten bored with the board and left. Six months ago I signed up on USMB, got bored and lost interest in posting there. That's the funny thing about message boards: I never know if I'm going to like them until joining and seeing if boredom sets in.

Quite frankly, I just post the first thing that comes to mind.

At least you're honest enough to admit there is no actual thought put into your posts.

[tailfins]

At least you're honest enough to admit there is no actual thought put into your posts.

I come here to escape thought. You make an excellent refuge for that.

And no, thought and learning are not the same. When you're tired of thought, you can absorb information or people's reactions.

And while I may be partially brain-dead, it is you that is lower functioning.

[aboutime]

At least you're honest enough to admit there is no actual thought put into your posts.


Marcus. That is not anywhere close to honesty. If it was. tailfins would be leaving us soon.

[tailfins]

Marcus. That is not anywhere close to honesty. If it was. tailfins would be leaving us soon.

Still cranky, huh? It seems you need help finding that shallow compliment audio/video you showed a desire for.

[aboutime]

Still cranky, huh? It seems you need help finding that shallow compliment audio/video you showed a desire for.


Why are you still here?


http://youtu.be/QRJ38y4Jn6k

[Marcus Aurelius]

I come here to escape thought. You make an excellent refuge for that.

And no, thought and learning are not the same. When you're tired of thought, you can absorb information or people's reactions.

And while I may be partially brain-dead, it is you that is lower functioning.

If that is the best you have, you need to find a new joke writer.

[aboutime]

If that is the best you have, you need to find a new joke writer.


Marcus. Let tailfins go. Trying to replace someone who recently was removed from this forum is a tough job, and we all know...tailfins is consistent, and determined to take that former member's place here. As for joke writing. Many try, and many remain...out of work.

[tailfins]

Marcus. Let tailfins go. Trying to replace someone who recently was removed from this forum is a tough job, and we all know...tailfins is consistent, and determined to take that former member's place here. As for joke writing. Many try, and many remain...out of work.

You seem to be unable to! But, hey if insulting me adds meaning to your idle, petty, shallow life, I'm glad to be of service.

[logroller]

You seem to be unable to! But, hey if insulting me adds meaning to your idle, petty, shallow life, I'm glad to be of service.
Just as Marcus evinces contempt for those striving for the top on the totem, aboutime covets the bottom.

[logroller]

Why are you still here?


http://youtu.be/QRJ38y4Jn6k
Was that internal dialogue? :lol:

[tailfins]

Just as Marcus evinces contempt for those striving for the top on the totem, aboutime covets the bottom.

Thanks for the guidance! What these insult-o-holics fail to realize is they set themselves up as a contrast to Jafar. Ask yourself whom would you spend money to visit? So, people, feel free to reinforce the notion that Jafar is a better human being than you are. Jafar alone is reason enough to visit DP!

[aboutime]

You seem to be unable to! But, hey if insulting me adds meaning to your idle, petty, shallow life, I'm glad to be of service.


Doing my very best to be just like you, and logroller. Emulating both of you is easy.