Who is in the wrong?

[KitchenKitten99]

ok, I have my opinion on this situation but I'd like to get perspective from fellow conservatives here.

Topic: cheating and flirting

Cast:

Person A: 26yr old female, lesbian (openly so)
Person B: 46yr old male, married w/1 child
Couple CD: married couple, friends with both A and B


Person A can be a bit of a flirt but mostly is just talk. She does sleep with guys but rarely.

Person B openly admits he cheats on his wife. He says she knows but I have my doubts. This person started texting and FB messaging Person A VERY inappropriate things. They have had in-person conversations that were similar in nature, but she didn't think he was serious. He then moved the conversation to text and FB.

Person A didn't actually tell him to stop but the texts and FB messages clearly indicated that if Person B wasn't female, she's not interested. Mostly saying that the things he wanted to do to her, she likes to do to women too, but not him. She did not agree to anything and gave no indication if interest.

She finally got fed up with his pestering and took screen shots and sent them to his wife. The only thing Couple CD had involved in, was showing Person A how to take screen shots and attach them in a FB message. They did not tell Person A to do this or anything else.

Person B thinks Couple CD are guilty by association, unfriends them, and disassociates himself with them, even though they had nothing to do with it other than showing Person A how to do what she wanted to do. They did not advise her on anything else.

This is dividing friends of Couple CD. Some are defending Person A, saying that it doesn't matter what she said to him, he's married and he has responsibility for his actions and words. Some are defending Person B because while she didn't actually say 'yes', she played along for a little bit and didn't say 'stop' either.

What say my DP friends?

[PostmodernProphet]

all four of them, obviously.....

A was wrong if she was engaged in flirting and texting with a man she knew was married....
B was wrong because he was married and engaged in flirting and texting....
CD was wrong because they knew A and B were engaged in the above and didn't tell them to shut the fuck up and go home....
all the other friends are wrong because they are taking sides instead of turning them all away and telling them to grow up and act like human beings......

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

The guy is far more wrong than the lesbian is but both are wrong. She for flirting with and having inappropriate conversations with a married man , him for being a damn scumbag that cheats on his wife. As to the couple that help her learn to take screen shots , no harm no foul in my view. No different that if I taught a guy how to use a camera and he then used it to get evidence on his sister-law cheating with another man. The cheating guy is scum, the lesbian is not only perverted individual but also not very bright and not without guilt in this .. Years ago I had a very attractive openly gay woman that flirted with me often, I ignored her to the point of being rude. Finally after a few months I just told her one day. Not sure of your intentions but baby I don't cheat on my wife with anybody and that includes bi-sexuals. She stopped immediately all her flirting and actually acted like a decent person from then on.. Never was sure of exactly what she wanted but her not denying it when I finally told her off gave me some hint that she truly did want to have a sexual relationship with me. Which I found to be very strange since I'm as much of a heterosexual male as one can get!! -Tyr

[KitchenKitten99]

all four of them, obviously.....

A was wrong if she was engaged in flirting and texting with a man she knew was married....
B was wrong because he was married and engaged in flirting and texting....
CD was wrong because they knew A and B were engaged in the above and didn't tell them to shut the fuck up and go home....
all the other friends are wrong because they are taking sides instead of turning them all away and telling them to grow up and act like human beings......

Person A didn't really flirt back--most of what she said was neutral/non-committal answers. A verbal conversation started about a sexual topic and Person B decided to take it to a personal level with A. She didn't take him seriously until it continued for a few days and he wouldn't give up when she didn't acknowledge his advances.

Couple CD 'DID' tell Person B to leave A alone because the conversation got disrespectful to the point of the husband of Couple CD laying into Person B about it. Person A seems to have a hard time sticking up for herself when someone is being disrespectful to her. Person A is a lesbian and isn't shy about it, so the convo had mostly to do with Person B saying whether or not he'd 'play' with a lesbian. The text/FB convo happened afterward, which was far more vulgar about what he'd like to do to please her lady parts to convert her. Think very similar to the movie 'Chasing Amy'.

Person A is the 'newbie' of the group. She just moved up to the area and doesn't know anyone else. She is from out of state.

The question about who was in the wrong is also partly about Person A sending screen shots of the text/FB convo to Person B's wife.

[Thunderknuckles]

The married guy is in the greatest wrong.
I don't think this scenario would ever be a problem for me because I would not associate with anyone that openly cheats on their spouse, whether their spouse knows about it or not.

[Larrymc]

all four of them, obviously.....

A was wrong if she was engaged in flirting and texting with a man she knew was married....
B was wrong because he was married and engaged in flirting and texting....
CD was wrong because they knew A and B were engaged in the above and didn't tell them to shut the fuck up and go home....
all the other friends are wrong because they are taking sides instead of turning them all away and telling them to grow up and act like human beings......All of the above, my advise, all get a new set of friends and stay out of such things next time.

[tailfins]

It doesn't matter if A,B,C or D is "more" wrong. All of them are not a good influence on your life and you shouldn't associate with any of them.


Philippians 4:8

King James Version (KJV)

8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

[logroller]

Who showed person B how to use the internet, facebook and cellphones, and also, who first exposed the person to these acts which were described? Clearly its everyone else's fault.:rolleyes:

Myself, I'd say that couple CD is way too imperfect to be associated with the perfectly blameless other parties. :angel:

Seriously, you don't have to justify your actions to anyone but yourself. Good riddance to any who can't accept that.

[Marcus Aurelius]

Who is wrong?

Anyone who gives a shit or thinks what A,B,C or D does is really any of their business.

[aboutime]

ok, I have my opinion on this situation but I'd like to get perspective from fellow conservatives here.

Topic: cheating and flirting

Cast:

Person A: 26yr old female, lesbian (openly so)
Person B: 46yr old male, married w/1 child
Couple CD: married couple, friends with both A and B


Person A can be a bit of a flirt but mostly is just talk. She does sleep with guys but rarely.

Person B openly admits he cheats on his wife. He says she knows but I have my doubts. This person started texting and FB messaging Person A VERY inappropriate things. They have had in-person conversations that were similar in nature, but she didn't think he was serious. He then moved the conversation to text and FB.

Person A didn't actually tell him to stop but the texts and FB messages clearly indicated that if Person B wasn't female, she's not interested. Mostly saying that the things he wanted to do to her, she likes to do to women too, but not him. She did not agree to anything and gave no indication if interest.

She finally got fed up with his pestering and took screen shots and sent them to his wife. The only thing Couple CD had involved in, was showing Person A how to take screen shots and attach them in a FB message. They did not tell Person A to do this or anything else.

Person B thinks Couple CD are guilty by association, unfriends them, and disassociates himself with them, even though they had nothing to do with it other than showing Person A how to do what she wanted to do. They did not advise her on anything else.

This is dividing friends of Couple CD. Some are defending Person A, saying that it doesn't matter what she said to him, he's married and he has responsibility for his actions and words. Some are defending Person B because while she didn't actually say 'yes', she played along for a little bit and didn't say 'stop' either.

What say my DP friends?


Kitten. Unless you happen to be one of the listed people in the hypothetical situation.
Best advice I would offer is. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
Unless it affects you in any way.
Let them argue, or decide who is Wrong...without your help, or ours.
Putting you in the middle of this may somehow end the friendships you have with all of them.
If they ask for your opinion. Be a good friend, and just bow out.

[KitchenKitten99]

Kitten. Unless you happen to be one of the listed people in the hypothetical situation.
Best advice I would offer is. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
Unless it affects you in any way.
Let them argue, or decide who is Wrong...without your help, or ours.
Putting you in the middle of this may somehow end the friendships you have with all of them.
If they ask for your opinion. Be a good friend, and just bow out.

Yes I am part of the whole situation (Couple CD) and those involved are customers/friends of ours.

I didn't want to cloud the issue with details that may sway judgement one way or another.

My husband had to actually tell Person B to knock off the crude behavior towards Person A, because not only was he doing it, but another guy was too, but I didn't mention him because he wasn't directly involved. Kind of a sidekick situation. They got upset that my husband came to Person A's defense.

There are a couple of the other guys who side with Person B and say that they don't think what Person A did was right (sending the screen cap shots to Person B's wife) and she should have just ignored him or told him to stop. Here's the problem: She did try that. He kept sending her messages. So she went with the nuclear option.

I hate this kind of drama and did try to stay out of it. Problem is that we (DH & I) were counted guilty by association by Person B, and he ended up cleaning out his humidor locker and turning the key in and refuses to come back.

Meanwhile, the other guys say it was like he was set up, and they don't feel comfortable coming in anymore because Person A is likely there, etc. They think Person B is only 50% responsible (even though he initiated all conversation/contact, as she showed me everything).

Ugh... Part of me wants to say "whatever" and let everything just play out, and not worry about it. The other part of me considers these guys more like family (a couple of them have shop keys and help us out by volunteering to run the shop for free, etc) so I feel like I should do something to help everyone get along. Maybe it's the mom in me that is triggering it.

DH wants to let things play out. He says that Person B set himself up by acting and doing the things that he has and is 99% in the wrong--he's the married one, he's 20yrs older, he initiated the conversation that should never have happened, he treated Person A like a piece of meat, etc. If Person B was honest and faitful, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Person B approached Person A, several times, and she did not lead him on, nor give indication that she was interested in any way. DH says he will not tolerate disrespect of women (straight or lesbian) in our shop, because we covet women patronizing and being in our shop. Most places like ours are a huge sausage-fest, which is a shame because we get plenty of business from women looking for stuff for their guys and come in because they feel comfortable in our shop, not intimidated. If that means 'firing' a customer for disrespect, then so be it. He didn't actually spend much money in our shop anyway. Hard to explain, but there really isn't much of a loss of income on that part.


Stupid drama, and I really don't want part of it, but ultimately it does affect our shop and long-time friends/customers. Couple of them we've known for as long as we've been open (3 yrs).

[tailfins]

Simple solution: Don't engage in personal conversations with whom you do business. Your husband made a mistake by touching the turd. Now his hand stinks. Wash your hands of any more personal conversation.

[tailfins]

So she went with the nuclear option.


You mean she filed criminal charges? THAT is the nuclear option!

[hjmick]

Kitten. Unless you happen to be one of the listed people in the hypothetical situation.
Best advice I would offer is. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
Unless it affects you in any way.
Let them argue, or decide who is Wrong...without your help, or ours.
Putting you in the middle of this may somehow end the friendships you have with all of them.
If they ask for your opinion. Be a good friend, and just bow out.


Dude, really? You had to ask if KK99 was part of the scenario she described?


Let me help you here...


When some says to you, "Listen, I've got this friend, not me but a guy I know..." They're talking about themselves...


:lmao:

[aboutime]

Dude, really? You had to ask if KK99 was part of the scenario she described?


Let me help you here...


When some says to you, "Listen, I've got this friend, not me but a guy I know..." They're talking about themselves...


:lmao:

No. I really didn't have to do anything since...I was talking to her, not you.

[logroller]

Dude, really? You had to ask if KK99 was part of the scenario she described?


Let me help you here...


When some says to you, "Listen, I've got this friend, not me but a guy I know..." They're talking about themselves...


:lmao:
This guy I know, he thought the same thing.;)

[hjmick]

No. I really didn't have to do anything since...I was talking to her, not you.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6cxNR9ML8k

[Abbey Marie]

Person "B" is scummy, and couple CD should be glad to be rid of him.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

Person "B" is scummy, and couple CD should be glad to be rid of him.

Dead on accurate.. :beer:

[KitchenKitten99]

Person "B" is scummy, and couple CD should be glad to be rid of him.

We are.

And we've pretty much washed our hands of it and if the others want to take sides, so be it.
We didn't really have anything to do with his departure and those that are taking his side are hypocrites (different side story) in their 'beliefs' that they profess to have.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

We are.

And we've pretty much washed our hands of it and if the others want to take sides, so be it.
We didn't really have anything to do with his departure and those that are taking his side are hypocrites (different side story) in their 'beliefs' that they profess to have.
A wise decision IMHO. :beer:--Tyr