Marcus Aurelius
06-12-2013, 12:59 PM
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What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward?
Caution! Live ammunition.
How many Muslims does it take to change a light bulb?
None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!
So Muhammad walks up to the Pearly Gates of Heaven and rings the bell.
St. Peter opens the gate and looks Mohammad up and down and asks. "What do you want here"
Mohammad answers "I've come here for Jesus"
St. Peter leans back in the gate and puts his hands to his mouth and yells "Hey, tell Jesus his cab is here"
What do you get after you win a religious debate against a Muslim?
Death threats.
Abraham dies and goes to heaven where he meets St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter welcomes him to heaven but Abraham who's Muslim too frantic to care and says to St. Peter "I need to find Mohammed!" So St. Peter sends him up one floor.
Abraham reaches the second floor slightly out of breath. He sees the angel Gabriel and tells him he wants to find Mohammed so Gabriel tells him to go up a floor. At this point he is thinking to himself "wow Mohammed is more important than St. Peter and the angel Gabriel. When he gets to the third floor he sees Jesus and asks him very out of breath. "Mohammed! I need to see Mohammed!" so Jesus tells him "Go up one floor my friend"
Now Abraham is struggling up the flight of stairs when he thinks to himself again "wow he's even more important than Jesus" When he reaches the next floor he sees a man with a long white beard and realises it's God. God sees that Abraham is extremley out of breath and asks him "would you like a coffee?" Abraham is frustrated and says " No i just want to find Mohammed!". God tells him "Yes you will but please rest ." Abraham agrees to have a coffee with God. God is happy that Abraham has accepted and calls out "Mohammed ... 2 coffees."
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/sm/custom/b/c/ktaeiqgo.jpeg
http://www.demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/0912/disappointment-72-virgins-family-guy-allah-disappointment-demotivational-poster-1259723115.jpg
What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward?
Caution! Live ammunition.
How many Muslims does it take to change a light bulb?
None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!
So Muhammad walks up to the Pearly Gates of Heaven and rings the bell.
St. Peter opens the gate and looks Mohammad up and down and asks. "What do you want here"
Mohammad answers "I've come here for Jesus"
St. Peter leans back in the gate and puts his hands to his mouth and yells "Hey, tell Jesus his cab is here"
What do you get after you win a religious debate against a Muslim?
Death threats.
Abraham dies and goes to heaven where he meets St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter welcomes him to heaven but Abraham who's Muslim too frantic to care and says to St. Peter "I need to find Mohammed!" So St. Peter sends him up one floor.
Abraham reaches the second floor slightly out of breath. He sees the angel Gabriel and tells him he wants to find Mohammed so Gabriel tells him to go up a floor. At this point he is thinking to himself "wow Mohammed is more important than St. Peter and the angel Gabriel. When he gets to the third floor he sees Jesus and asks him very out of breath. "Mohammed! I need to see Mohammed!" so Jesus tells him "Go up one floor my friend"
Now Abraham is struggling up the flight of stairs when he thinks to himself again "wow he's even more important than Jesus" When he reaches the next floor he sees a man with a long white beard and realises it's God. God sees that Abraham is extremley out of breath and asks him "would you like a coffee?" Abraham is frustrated and says " No i just want to find Mohammed!". God tells him "Yes you will but please rest ." Abraham agrees to have a coffee with God. God is happy that Abraham has accepted and calls out "Mohammed ... 2 coffees."