A Liberal finally notices the obvious about "gender equality"

[tailfins]

The one "successful" woman earns more marriage that I know of involves the man succumbing to the notion of being a kept man, losing all desire to work and ambition. He essentially lives the role of an age advanced male child. Of course his mom wife is a forceful, overbearing left-wing feminist. It's almost as if she sought out such an arrangement. If you have young male relatives that are absolute slackers or better still a high school dropout, at least being a kept man is an option in today's society. I think it boils down to this: Men are by nature competitive. Such a marriage arrangement involves getting comfortable with losing as a lifestyle. Perhaps a race of sorts might work in a marriage, but only if the wife doesn't complain when she or the family is ignored for him putting work first. I know if I had a wife that made $200K, I would make $300K no matter what. If she made $300K, I would make $400K and so on and so on. I would put in 140 hour work/study weeks if I had to. Of course when you're pulling down that kind of cash, who does the housework gets settled: The hired help does. Come to think of it, I bet many men stealthily are doing exactly that, but keep quiet about it.


What happens when a man marries a woman who has the education and skills to earn more than him? The couple can avoid violating the “man earns more” social norm if the woman works part time or leaves the labor force altogether. The authors found evidence of both choices. But what if the woman stays in the labor force and does earn more than her spouse? How does this affect the marriage? The findings here are striking. In such couples, surveys show, both wife and husband generally report being less happy about the marriage.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/02/business/breadwinner-wives-and-nervous-husbands.html?_r=0

[tailfins]

The article speaks of the untapped talent of underemployed women. However there's a hidden bonus: Humiliated men putting in 100 hour work weeks not to be outdone by their wives. Who cares about the ignored kids and broken homes? The company comes first, right?

[Noir]

Well maybe some men should grow the hell up and not feel 'humiliated' if their wife is successful. Like seriously, the fact that some folk can turn their loved ones success into their failure verges on a very morbid sort of narcissism.

[tailfins]

Well maybe some men should grow the hell up and not feel 'humiliated' if their wife is successful. Like seriously, the fact that some folk can turn their loved ones success into their failure verges on a very morbid sort of narcissism.

For the most part, trying to force a man to be a "nurturer" is worse than forcing a lefty to be right handed or vice-versa.

[Noir]

For the most part, trying to force a man to be a "nurturer" is worse than forcing a lefty to be right handed or vice-versa.

No one is talking about forcing anyone to do anything. Relationships are built on shared responsibility and decisions. But any man who would look at his wife being successful, who's man concern is 'i must earn more than her' has some real issues.

[tailfins]

No one is talking about forcing anyone to do anything. Relationships are built on shared responsibility and decisions. But any man who would look at his wife being successful, who's man concern is 'i must earn more than her' has some real issues.

I contend there are executive washrooms full of them. Of course that begs the question, they may have married that way on purpose just to force themselves to always be at the top of the heap. Few things would force a closet chauvinist more to make whatever sacrifices necessary to become "C" level executive than to marry a VP.

[DragonStryk72]

No one is talking about forcing anyone to do anything. Relationships are built on shared responsibility and decisions. But any man who would look at his wife being successful, who's man concern is 'i must earn more than her' has some real issues.

One point of argument here: Both the mean and the women have issue with it, according to the surveys done. This is an odd remnant from a couple generations ago, and I think as we get more used to seeing women in positions of power and wealth that are in charge of their own destiny, we'll finally build that bridge, and get the fuck over it. But until then, it's both genders having an issue with it.

[Jeff]

Well maybe some men should grow the hell up and not feel 'humiliated' if their wife is successful. Like seriously, the fact that some folk can turn their loved ones success into their failure verges on a very morbid sort of narcissism.
Agreed

I personally am very proud that my wife id successful , as well as all the woman in my family , gender has nothing to do with it I am equally proud of the males that are doing very well

[SassyLady]

My ex was a soldier and I am a civilian. There were times that I made more than him, and times he made more than me. Neither of us had a problem with it because we were both extremely confident in ourselves and didn't feel the need to be competitive. We knew the money went into one pot and that allowed both of us to compromise on where the money was to be spent. I truly believe that when one person makes a lot more than the other it shifts the balance of power, but it shouldn't. In a marriage the power should be equal without it being based upon who makes the most money.

However, with that said, there are women/men who don't want the responsibility of making decisions and will ultimately let the higher wage earner make those decisions.

[fj1200]

... I think as we get more used to seeing women in positions of power and wealth that are in charge of their own destiny, we'll finally build that bridge, and get the fuck over it.

I'll agree with that but for the entrenched power structure that will keep it alive in furtherance of their objectives. That's why the race issues will always be over hyped.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

My ex was a soldier and I am a civilian. There were times that I made more than him, and times he made more than me. Neither of us had a problem with it because we were both extremely confident in ourselves and didn't feel the need to be competitive. We knew the money went into one pot and that allowed both of us to compromise on where the money was to be spent. I truly believe that when one person makes a lot more than the other it shifts the balance of power, but it shouldn't. In a marriage the power should be equal without it being based upon who makes the most money.

However, with that said, there are women/men who don't want the responsibility of making decisions and will ultimately let the higher wage earner make those decisions.

Never had a wife that made more than I did. Always wished for that and thought damn wouldn't it e great. Kinda strange coming from me and my old fashioned concept of family but I was always bright enough to understand that EXTRA money could solve some of life's problems. And back then allow me to go down from 75/85 hour work week to something easy like 60..
As I look back I realise I worked too hard too long. All that extra money just went to make very cushy to ex-wives lives. Now I finally have the marriage/ family that I wished for but am no longer young enough to go a third time at such a rate. Nobody ever said "life was fair" that truly knew what the hell they were talking about..;)
My wife now ever starts making big bucks I'd be all for it....she is in college right now(no bucks)..-Tyr

[DragonStryk72]

My ex was a soldier and I am a civilian. There were times that I made more than him, and times he made more than me. Neither of us had a problem with it because we were both extremely confident in ourselves and didn't feel the need to be competitive. We knew the money went into one pot and that allowed both of us to compromise on where the money was to be spent. I truly believe that when one person makes a lot more than the other it shifts the balance of power, but it shouldn't. In a marriage the power should be equal without it being based upon who makes the most money.

However, with that said, there are women/men who don't want the responsibility of making decisions and will ultimately let the higher wage earner make those decisions.

I tend to be a bit more pragmatic about it myself, because I always bear in mind that I have contributions other than money to make to the household. I had a girlfriend who was going into the Army, and I realized I had to get myself right with the concept that I would be a Mil-spouse, becoming the support for her career. This helped me to lend my own competitive streak to the marriage as a team event to help in getting her her next promotion or what not.

[SassyLady]

I tend to be a bit more pragmatic about it myself, because I always bear in mind that I have contributions other than money to make to the household. I had a girlfriend who was going into the Army, and I realized I had to get myself right with the concept that I would be a Mil-spouse, becoming the support for her career. This helped me to lend my own competitive streak to the marriage as a team event to help in getting her her next promotion or what not.

That is how it should be. And the working spouse should also make it a team event so the household runs smoothly which helps everyone become more successful.

Sounds like how my life was for 20 years ... working hard at my career and working hard to help his career so both of us could have a better life.

[logroller]

.., there are women/men who don't want the responsibility of making decisions and will ultimately let the higher wage earner make those decisions.
Even deference is, in itself, a decision one makes. Despite not being the primary wage-earner, around my house I am the decision-maker yet on most issues I yield to my wife's appeals. Often she regrets such decisions, but 'tis better to have her regret her own decisions than resent me.

[Trigg]

Generally women are better at nurturing children than men are. I repeat GENERALLY.

I work with women who make more than their husbands, and it seems to work for them most of the time.

As much as everyone wants to think that we have become so enlightened, we are still ruled by our biology. I'd say MOST men would feel threatened by a woman who makes more than them.