Take it out on me - question and answer time

[jimnyc]

Lots of fighting/feuds lately. I'm trying to reel it in but it's not as easy as it sounds. I could just ban people, but never what I wanted. Then I tried for the longest time to chat with people via PM and try to work with them and reason with them. Then I beg, and plead, and ask members to try things differently. Then I threaten to move posts to the cage if it happens, then I actually do it sometimes. Then I ask people again to cease, bring the fights to the cage. It doesn't happen. People bicker in the very thread where I ask of this. Then I threaten again, that if it doesn't cease, I will be moving threads and posts, and removing access to the threads by the offenders. Now people are pissed at me.

So tell me, what does the board expect, a free for all? Nazi bans? Let people use the ignore function? (yea, sure). You guys question me, tell me, what should be done to fix the non-stop fighting within threads that makes people not even want to read them, let alone participate in them? Should I let the board suffer over the non-stop fighting? If you own the place, what do YOU do to stop the fighting and ruining of threads?

Be reasonable, please.

[ConHog]

Lots of fighting/feuds lately. I'm trying to reel it in but it's not as easy as it sounds. I could just ban people, but never what I wanted. Then I tried for the longest time to chat with people via PM and try to work with them and reason with them. Then I beg, and plead, and ask members to try things differently. Then I threaten to move posts to the cage if it happens, then I actually do it sometimes. Then I ask people again to cease, bring the fights to the cage. It doesn't happen. People bicker in the very thread where I ask of this. Then I threaten again, that if it doesn't cease, I will be moving threads and posts, and removing access to the threads by the offenders. Now people are pissed at me.

So tell me, what does the board expect, a free for all? Nazi bans? Let people use the ignore function? (yea, sure). You guys question me, tell me, what should be done to fix the non-stop fighting within threads that makes people not even want to read them, let alone participate in them? Should I let the board suffer over the non-stop fighting? If you own the place, what do YOU do to stop the fighting and ruining of threads?

Be reasonable, please.

I said it in private, I have no problem saying it in public. The board needs more moderation IMHO. And that would include slapping me down if and when I step out line. I in noway feel anyone should be treated any differently.

[aboutime]

Lots of fighting/feuds lately. I'm trying to reel it in but it's not as easy as it sounds. I could just ban people, but never what I wanted. Then I tried for the longest time to chat with people via PM and try to work with them and reason with them. Then I beg, and plead, and ask members to try things differently. Then I threaten to move posts to the cage if it happens, then I actually do it sometimes. Then I ask people again to cease, bring the fights to the cage. It doesn't happen. People bicker in the very thread where I ask of this. Then I threaten again, that if it doesn't cease, I will be moving threads and posts, and removing access to the threads by the offenders. Now people are pissed at me.

So tell me, what does the board expect, a free for all? Nazi bans? Let people use the ignore function? (yea, sure). You guys question me, tell me, what should be done to fix the non-stop fighting within threads that makes people not even want to read them, let alone participate in them? Should I let the board suffer over the non-stop fighting? If you own the place, what do YOU do to stop the fighting and ruining of threads?

Be reasonable, please.


jimnyc. This is your forum. When you set rules. The rules apply to everyone. And they should remain in force as you suggest, or ask the membership to do.
When you give up enforcement of the rules for anyone. That is when you lose control, and the spiral begins to swirl downward where anyone who feels slighted, offended, insulted only needs to PM you, or create a thread which you seem to always see as ANOTHER FIGHT.
And, the results of that...as I call it...Appeasement, or Special treatment is what takes away your power to determine the power of the rules you instituted..SHOULD BE FOLLOWED.
Remember that old saying?

Give them an inch. They take a mile?
The rules MUST BE ENFORCED in order for you to maintain control. Forgiving some is a kind gesture on your behalf. Because you don't wish to hurt anyone's feelings. Nor do you want to be accused of being a tyrant.
But..LAWS and RULES are made for a reason.
Allowing some to just slide, while telling others they must obey. Just doesn't work.

Personally. I now have a feeling that almost any thread I happen to visit will become OUT OF BOUNDS for me, because I dare to disagree...which many call ARGUEMENTS. This is a forum. I expect to offer my opinions without fearing I will be prevented from offering them. What is the use if ALL OF US MUST ALWAYS AGREE, and we are not permitted to disagree...otherwise....find ourselves on the short end of the stick????

[hjmick]

You know Jim, it's hard for me to say as mt attendance here is intermittent at best. I pop in for a few days, throw out a few pithy posts, tire of the silliness, and check out, sometimes for weeks at a time. I rarely, if ever, have knock down, drag out confrontations with other members. I tend to ignore stupid, unless it's really stupid. I have no problem with the way the board is moderated, but then I don't generally post things which need moderating.

I know that you, like me, believe that we are all adults and should be capable of conducting ourselves as such. Sadly, day after day we see that this is not the case. That can not be fixed, and I doubt that it can be reasoned with. That being the case, how do you moderate it? I'm not sure you can. The only alternative is, warn a member, say three or four times, then ban them for a period of time, and permanently after their second temporary ban? I don't know...

It's a hard decision to make, especially on a board where the traffic level is low and consists mainly of the usual suspects. And it's the lower level of traffic and the fact that most of the traffic is regulars that I'm not convinced more moderating is necessary. Too many cooks in the kitchen and all that...

All I can say is, I keep coming back. I like this place.

















Or maybe I'm a glutton for punishment?

[Kathianne]

jimnyc. This is your forum. When you set rules. The rules apply to everyone. And they should remain in force as you suggest, or ask the membership to do.
When you give up enforcement of the rules for anyone. That is when you lose control, and the spiral begins to swirl downward where anyone who feels slighted, offended, insulted only needs to PM you, or create a thread which you seem to always see as ANOTHER FIGHT.
And, the results of that...as I call it...Appeasement, or Special treatment is what takes away your power to determine the power of the rules you instituted..SHOULD BE FOLLOWED.
Remember that old saying?

Give them an inch. They take a mile?
The rules MUST BE ENFORCED in order for you to maintain control. Forgiving some is a kind gesture on your behalf. Because you don't wish to hurt anyone's feelings. Nor do you want to be accused of being a tyrant.
But..LAWS and RULES are made for a reason.
Allowing some to just slide, while telling others they must obey. Just doesn't work.

While I might have worded it differently, I agree. While one may not like all of the members one has, want back more controversial posters, all should be treated the same. If instead one wants to start anew, with inviting the formally banned members back, because one finds they add more, instead of disrespecting those that have staid with you, it's better to ban them, than to condescend. JMO.

[ConHog]

While I might have worded it differently, I agree. While one may not like all of the members one has, want back more controversial posters, all should be treated the same. If instead one wants to start anew, with inviting the formally banned members back, because one finds they add more, instead of disrespecting those that have staid with you, it's better to ban them, than to condescend. JMO.

I take affront to what you and AT are clearly saying here. Jim has and is given me NO special treatment.

Go ahead and deny that I am who you are talking about, it's clear to all that is exactly what you are implying.

Pretty offensive to Jim as well to think that he would do that.

[Kathianne]

I take affront to what you and AT are clearly saying here. Jim has and is given me NO special treatment.

Go ahead and deny that I am who you are talking about, it's clear to all that is exactly what you are implying.

Pretty offensive to Jim as well to think that he would do that.

You already agreed that there was a 'gentleman's agreement.' Jim never denied. Seems to me that it's a clear call for others either falling in line or getting out of the way.

[ConHog]

You already agreed that there was a 'gentleman's agreement.' Jim never denied. Seems to me that it's a clear call for others either falling in line or getting out of the way.

um what? that isn't what I said at all. Not even in the slightest.

I'll Jim answer for Jim on how he feels about you suggesting that he would show one member favortism over another, but I will respond to the accusation that I ever suggested such a thing. I certainly did not.


Post a link or shut up.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

Lots of fighting/feuds lately. I'm trying to reel it in but it's not as easy as it sounds. I could just ban people, but never what I wanted. Then I tried for the longest time to chat with people via PM and try to work with them and reason with them. Then I beg, and plead, and ask members to try things differently. Then I threaten to move posts to the cage if it happens, then I actually do it sometimes. Then I ask people again to cease, bring the fights to the cage. It doesn't happen. People bicker in the very thread where I ask of this. Then I threaten again, that if it doesn't cease, I will be moving threads and posts, and removing access to the threads by the offenders. Now people are pissed at me.

So tell me, what does the board expect, a free for all? Nazi bans? Let people use the ignore function? (yea, sure). You guys question me, tell me, what should be done to fix the non-stop fighting within threads that makes people not even want to read them, let alone participate in them? Should I let the board suffer over the non-stop fighting? If you own the place, what do YOU do to stop the fighting and ruining of threads?

Be reasonable, please.

OK JIM. List the guilty parties on which ever side they belong..
Side -A
Side -B
One side will be many members while on the other side will be only ONE!
Now look at the group that has the many members, I will not list them but are they usually troublemakers, fight starters , rabble rousers, malcontents and harpies?.
Is it your judgement that all these members just decided unprovoked to start fighting the other single member?
Or can you admit that single member unprovoked attacked the others?
Your call, your forum..
I started out even joking with him, BUT THAT ENDED WHEN I WAS CALLED A LIAR FROM OUT OF THE BLUE AND ITS EASY ENOUGH TO SEE , TO FIND.

I'VE TAKEN ALL MINE DOWN TO THE CAGE..
I plan on it staying down there but you started this thread I assume for members to get things off of their chests.
I have and my decision is to play it outwith him in the cage only..
As that's the place you made for just that type of action..
I agree with you that the top boards should be free from all this but remember typical insults and small fights have always been a part of the top boards too, they just didn't get out of hand as this has. -Tyr

[aboutime]

You already agreed that there was a 'gentleman's agreement.' Jim never denied. Seems to me that it's a clear call for others either falling in line or getting out of the way.

Kathianne. Doesn't really matter. Many of us have seen this same kind of thing before.

Unfortunately for jim. This being his forum. Since we have seen how it works. Jim will just have to find out in due time.

Without using any member names. All of us know when we are being patronized, or bamboozled by the VICTIMS who cry the loudest.

[ConHog]

OK JIM. List the guilty parties on which ever side they belong..
Side -A
Side -B
One side will be many members while on the other side will be only ONE!
Now look at the group that has the many members, I will not list them but are they usually troublemakers, fight starters , rabble rousers, malcontents and harpies?.
Is it your judgement that all these members just decided unprovoked to start fighting the other single member?
Or can you admit that single member unprovoked attacked the others?
Your call, your forum..
I started out even joking with him, BUT THAT ENDED WHEN I WAS CALLED A LIAR FROM OUT OF THE BLUE AND ITS EASY ENOUGH TO SEE , TO FIND.

I'VE TAKEN ALL MINE DOWN TO THE CAGE..
I plan on it staying down there but you started this thread I assume for members to get things off of their chests.
I have and my decision is to play it outwith him in the cage only..
As that's the place you made for just that type of action..
I agree with you that the top boards should be free from all this but remember typical insults and small fights have always been a part of the top boards too, they just didn't get out of hand as this has. -Tyr

As to the statement about me saying you were lying in a thread, big deal. You've said the same to me several times, only one of us is carrying on like a little school girl.

I joked around with you to, and in fact even told Jim in a private conversation that I was pleasantly surprised by your particular attitude upon my return.

In fact if you care to look around I don't even know that Jim has cleaned up anything between you and I Tyr.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

As to the statement about me saying you were lying in a thread, big deal. You've said the same to me several times, only one of us is carrying on like a little school girl.

I joked around with you to, and in fact even told Jim in a private conversation that I was pleasantly surprised by your particular attitude upon my return.

In fact if you care to look around I don't even know that Jim has cleaned up anything between you and I Tyr.

Hardly, I've been thread banned already.. No biggie but your statement was in error there.
I have every intention of being civil up here. -Tyr

[ConHog]

Hardly, I've been thread banned already.. No biggie but your statement was in error there.
I have every intention of being civil up here. -Tyr

I was thread banned to, and didn't even realize it.

My point though was you need to get over the liar comment. you damn well know you have called me a liar as well. Big deal. You act as if I breached some moral code.

Which once again leads me back to what I said the other night. It's laughable that all of you are claiming I am getting special treatment all the while expecting me to live up to a higher standard.

I mean as long as were just being honest. Was I , or was I not attacked within 10 posts on my thread IN THE LOBBY saying I was back?

Who started that? Certainly wasn't me. Unless you contend that the mere act of me coming back was deserving of being attacked. In which case the only response I can give you is tough shit.

I've already made the offer. If Jim feels I'm more responsible than others for the BS that has occurred. I'll leave , simple as that.

Of course I now see that the plan is if he says no that's not true for yall to accuse him of favortism, which means either way I'm the asshole, but so be it.


PS meant to add Tyr, that I had NO idea you'd been thread banned from a thread , frankly didn't care either. That's between you and Jim.

[tailfins]

For me, just a reminder when real damage is being done, perhaps listing specific problems caused by the rogue posting. In other words being reminded when it is no longer a joke. Anything that resembles "because I said so" gets a negative reaction from me, even if it's a cop.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

I was thread banned to, and didn't even realize it.

My point though was you need to get over the liar comment. you damn well know you have called me a liar as well. Big deal. You act as if I breached some moral code.

Which once again leads me back to what I said the other night. It's laughable that all of you are claiming I am getting special treatment all the while expecting me to live up to a higher standard.

I mean as long as were just being honest. Was I , or was I not attacked within 10 posts on my thread IN THE LOBBY saying I was back?

Who started that? Certainly wasn't me. Unless you contend that the mere act of me coming back was deserving of being attacked. In which case the only response I can give you is tough shit.

I've already made the offer. If Jim feels I'm more responsible than others for the BS that has occurred. I'll leave , simple as that.

Of course I now see that the plan is if he says no that's not true for yall to accuse him of favortism, which means either way I'm the asshole, but so be it.


PS meant to add Tyr, that I had NO idea you'd been thread banned from a thread , frankly didn't care either. That's between you and Jim.

I spoke of my case only with that. Not my responsibility what others do or dont do. You take that up with them or Jim.
And you haven't seen me ask ,suggest or foolishly demand that anybody leave or be banned, not even you .-Tyr

[ConHog]

I spoke of my case only with that. Not my responsibility what others do or dont do. You take that up with them or Jim.
And you haven't seen me ask ,suggest or foolishly demand that anybody leave or be banned, not even you .-Tyr


Correct on all counts and likewise I don't wish to see anyone leave or be banned.

Tyr, my entire adult life has been dedicated to fairness. Some may, no some DO, make fun of that, but its absolutely my core belief, I believe EVERYONE should be treated 100% exactly the same. No matter what. That doesn't mean be best friends with everyone, hell doesn't even mean you can't treat some people like shit when they deserve it, but when it comes to something like following the rules or being allowed a voice , giving one person special treatment over another is anathema to everything I have dedicated my life to.

The suggestion that I asked for special treatment is repugnant to my soul.

Not saying YOU suggested that by the way.

Just reiterating, no one asked for , or was offered special treatment. Nor did I imply that was the case.

[Abbey Marie]

Dudes. I am asking everyone to just give Jim a break, and ease up for a bit.
Go have a drink or something, and no, for the love of all that is holy, don't come back and post drunk.

[ConHog]

Dudes. I am asking everyone to just give Jim a break, and ease up for a bit.
Go have a drink or something, and no, for the love of all that is holy, don't come back and post drunk.

too late :lol:

but even drunk I'm the most awesome guy around.

[logroller]

Sell the board and move to Aruba. Reasonable, but if that's not feasible. Mod heavy and send it to the cage at every turn. No mercy. You certainly don't need member input; its not a democracy. The very idea of a benevolent dictator is riddled with ineptitude. Stick with your gut; lead, follow, or get out of the way.

[Robert A Whit]

Dudes. I am asking everyone to just give Jim a break, and ease up for a bit.
Go have a drink or something, and no, for the love of all that is holy, don't come back and post drunk.


Were I in Jim's shoes, I would not take it as much of a big deal. I notice some of the wars. I don't believe in sweating the petty shit.

I got some rep deducted by some twit. I sent her a note telling her what she is for that dumb ass stunt.

[ConHog]

Were I in Jim's shoes, I would not take it as much of a big deal. I notice some of the wars. I don't believe in sweating the petty shit.

I got some rep deducted by some twit. I sent her a note telling her what she is for that dumb ass stunt.

I gave you some rep back.

[Robert A Whit]

I feel bad for Jim's sake. I realize he wants a clean board with as little fighting as possible.

The CAGE is a brilliant invention. I suggest several cages.

I suggest members who want to have a knock down drag out fight self enter one of several cages.

Make it easy on Jim. When you feel a fight is brewing, take it to one of the cages.

Treat it like Alcoholics anonymous. Take off your shirit or bra and use one of the cages.

Just sayin.

Ps, ladies, please use the avatar to show us what you look like. Thanks. :laugh:

We promise to not tell anybody you took off your bras and posted the photos. Honest injun.

[ConHog]

I feel bad for Jim's sake. I realize he wants a clean board with as little fighting as possible.

The CAGE is a brilliant invention. I suggest several cages.

I suggest members who want to have a knock down drag out fight self enter one of several cages.

Make it easy on Jim. When you feel a fight is brewing, take it to one of the cages.

Treat it like Alcoholics anonymous. Take off your shirit or bra and use one of the cages.

Just sayin.

Ps, ladies, please use the avatar to show us what you look like. Thanks. :laugh:

We promise to not tell anybody you took off your bras and posted the photos. Honest injun.

Okay, but I get first match with Gabby

[darin]

One thing to con sider. Some folks here have openly admitted to embelishing their military service, their life - in essence, who they are. Makes it difficult to trust folks; even when they say they'd apprecaited being moderated more-closely.

I sorta think like this - Jim, run the board the way YOU want it; not the users; if they stick around, or approve - that's gravy. :)

[taft2012]

So tell me, what does the board expect, a free for all? Nazi bans? Let people use the ignore function? (yea, sure).

Free for all.


You guys question me, tell me, what should be done to fix the non-stop fighting within threads that makes people not even want to read them, let alone participate in them? Should I let the board suffer over the non-stop fighting? If you own the place, what do YOU do to stop the fighting and ruining of threads?

I don't question you. You have a very laissez-faire moderating style which I think more political forums should emulate.

If this were a horse grooming forum I could understand trying to keep discussions calm, but this is political policy. Let it take its course.

[red states rule]

JIm I sent you my idea in a PM and you may post it here if you agree with my idea. I really do not see any other soultion to ease the tensions between members and to lower your stress and blood pressure level

[PostmodernProphet]

Jim, its like running a bar......you want to see everyone having a good time, you want to encourage more customers.....sure, once in a while some foul worthless drunk wanders in and urinates on the pool table......you just have to realize that means some of us are going to have a little less good times for a while.....

[tailfins]

Dudes. I am asking everyone to just give Jim a break, and ease up for a bit.
Go have a drink or something, and no, for the love of all that is holy, don't come back and post drunk.

All I did was give him a specific answer to his specific question. And don't tell me to have a drink .... I'm a teetotaler.

[Abbey Marie]

All I did was give him a specific answer to his specific question. And don't tell me to have a drink .... I'm a teetotaler.

I just did.

[ConHog]

One thing to con sider. Some folks here have openly admitted to embelishing their military service, their life - in essence, who they are. Makes it difficult to trust folks; even when they say they'd apprecaited being moderated more-closely.

I sorta think like this - Jim, run the board the way YOU want it; not the users; if they stick around, or approve - that's gravy. :)

Thats not exact ly what was said but okay lol

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

One thing to con sider. Some folks here have openly admitted to embelishing their military service, their life - in essence, who they are. Makes it difficult to trust folks; even when they say they'd apprecaited being moderated more-closely.

I sorta think like this - Jim, run the board the way YOU want it; not the users; if they stick around, or approve - that's gravy. :)

I do consider that ALWAYS. Shortly after coming here I posted a thread about -Stolen Valor--. One of my good friends , a Marine VIETNAM VETERAN had a rule back in the 80's that he went by, when he caught a guy stealing valor, he knocked him on his ass be it at a bar , a party or anywhere he was at. First time I saw him do that was at a bar in 1981. Guy was loud talking about his heroism in Vietnam and my friend walked over to him , asked him three questions about be in country. Thee guy got them all wrong! My friend knocked his ass to the floor. Told the chump the three correct ANSWERS AND THEN MADE HIM ADMIT HE WAS LYING AND HAD NEVER BEEN THERE!
FIRST TIME I SAW MY BUDDY REALLY GET MAD BUT WAS NOT THE LAST TIME..
AFTER IT WAS OVER I ASKED HIM HOW HE KNEW BEFORE HE WENT OVER THERE TO ASK THE GUY THOSE QUESTIONS. His answer was, that ffing type I can spot a mile away.. Was I right?
I returned, "right as rain my friend"!!
The man has passed on now and he was truly a great guy, most military combat vets are IMHO.. -TYR

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

Thats not exact ly what was said but okay lol

Really!?? What part did he have wrong?? -Tyr

[tailfins]

Sell the board and move to Aruba. Reasonable, but if that's not feasible. Mod heavy and send it to the cage at every turn. No mercy. You certainly don't need member input; its not a democracy. The very idea of a benevolent dictator is riddled with ineptitude. Stick with your gut; lead, follow, or get out of the way.

I disagree. This is like the corner diner. We are customers. While it's true you can't throw food, you should expect good service. I guess I'm overdue to leave a tip, though.

[Thunderknuckles]

You know Jim, it's hard for me to say as mt attendance here is intermittent at best. I pop in for a few days, throw out a few pithy posts, tire of the silliness, and check out, sometimes for weeks at a time. I rarely, if ever, have knock down, drag out confrontations with other members. I tend to ignore stupid, unless it's really stupid. I have no problem with the way the board is moderated, but then I don't generally post things which need moderating.

...

All I can say is, I keep coming back. I like this place.

Well said. I am in the same position as you. So, I don't really have any useful advice for Jim. Whatever he decides to do will have no affect on me at this forum.

[Robert A Whit]

I do consider that ALWAYS. Shortly after coming here I posted a thread about -Stolen Valor--. One of my good friends , a Marine VIETNAM VETERAN had a rule back in the 80's that he went by, when he caught a guy stealing valor, he knocked him on his ass be it at a bar , a party or anywhere he was at. First time I saw him do that was at a bar in 1981. Guy was loud talking about his heroism in Vietnam and my friend walked over to him , asked him three questions about be in country. Thee guy got them all wrong! My friend knocked his ass to the floor. Told the chump the three correct ANSWERS AND THEN MADE HIM ADMIT HE WAS LYING AND HAD NEVER BEEN THERE!
FIRST TIME I SAW MY BUDDY REALLY GET MAD BUT WAS NOT THE LAST TIME..
AFTER IT WAS OVER I ASKED HIM HOW HE KNEW BEFORE HE WENT OVER THERE TO ASK THE GUY THOSE QUESTIONS. His answer was, that ffing type I can spot a mile away.. Was I right?
I returned, "right as rain my friend"!!
The man has passed on now and he was truly a great guy, most military combat vets are IMHO.. -TYR

Well I don't have any reason to fib about my Army time. Hell, I got drafted. Who brags he made the Feds come get him? LMAO

Aside from that, I got damned lucky and was in at a point of virtually no combat. We had special forces training the bozos in South Vietnam but I never served with any of those fine Green Barets.

Those who actually served in Germany can tell you we feared the shit that could happen down the Fulda Gap. I recall one young tank driver that needed to climb back into the turrent of his M-60 and for some odd reason went in head first and messing around with his duffle bag accidently hit the master switch and some bag was pressing on the turrent control to the point the turrent started moving up and the breech crushed his head inside the tank. I did not see it but the medics in my HQ unit told me what happened. One day a Huey crashed and they brought to my unit some bodies and some who were bqdly burned. I happened to be in the right job to know this took place.

Look, those men who serve this country and are not in combat, still do things that are dangerous and deaths and injuries happen just like it happens to civilians.

No need to fake combat. I am pleased to say I never was in combat. And I was not injured while in the Army either.

To my fellow vets who endured combat, thank you so very much. You went though things that one can only imagine.

[Robert A Whit]

In my daily life, reputation on this forum does not count one but. But on this forum, it does count.

To those who added to my reputation, and you all know who you are, thank you so very much. I think much higer of you as well and shall do the same back.

[jimnyc]

I said it in private, I have no problem saying it in public. The board needs more moderation IMHO. And that would include slapping me down if and when I step out line. I in noway feel anyone should be treated any differently.

Lack of moderation = every thread turns into a fight
Moderation = everyone complains about biased treatment


jimnyc. This is your forum. When you set rules. The rules apply to everyone. And they should remain in force as you suggest, or ask the membership to do.
When you give up enforcement of the rules for anyone. That is when you lose control, and the spiral begins to swirl downward where anyone who feels slighted, offended, insulted only needs to PM you, or create a thread which you seem to always see as ANOTHER FIGHT.
And, the results of that...as I call it...Appeasement, or Special treatment is what takes away your power to determine the power of the rules you instituted..SHOULD BE FOLLOWED.
Remember that old saying?

Give them an inch. They take a mile?
The rules MUST BE ENFORCED in order for you to maintain control. Forgiving some is a kind gesture on your behalf. Because you don't wish to hurt anyone's feelings. Nor do you want to be accused of being a tyrant.
But..LAWS and RULES are made for a reason.
Allowing some to just slide, while telling others they must obey. Just doesn't work.

Personally. I now have a feeling that almost any thread I happen to visit will become OUT OF BOUNDS for me, because I dare to disagree...which many call ARGUEMENTS. This is a forum. I expect to offer my opinions without fearing I will be prevented from offering them. What is the use if ALL OF US MUST ALWAYS AGREE, and we are not permitted to disagree...otherwise....find ourselves on the short end of the stick????

For example though - look at my "rule" or request at the top of the board, to reel in the fighting, and to keep it out of good threads, and to start fights in the cage if one really needs to. No one really listened. Then when I applied the rules I requested, everyone got pissed.


You know Jim, it's hard for me to say as mt attendance here is intermittent at best. I pop in for a few days, throw out a few pithy posts, tire of the silliness, and check out, sometimes for weeks at a time. I rarely, if ever, have knock down, drag out confrontations with other members. I tend to ignore stupid, unless it's really stupid. I have no problem with the way the board is moderated, but then I don't generally post things which need moderating.

I know that you, like me, believe that we are all adults and should be capable of conducting ourselves as such. Sadly, day after day we see that this is not the case. That can not be fixed, and I doubt that it can be reasoned with. That being the case, how do you moderate it? I'm not sure you can. The only alternative is, warn a member, say three or four times, then ban them for a period of time, and permanently after their second temporary ban? I don't know...

It's a hard decision to make, especially on a board where the traffic level is low and consists mainly of the usual suspects. And it's the lower level of traffic and the fact that most of the traffic is regulars that I'm not convinced more moderating is necessary. Too many cooks in the kitchen and all that...

All I can say is, I keep coming back. I like this place.

Or maybe I'm a glutton for punishment?

I think moderation is the only answer as well. I've tried endlessly to have little to no moderation here at DP, but I'm afraid some take advantage of that. I will never allow moderation to take over the board, but it's become obvious that 'some' is necessary to fix things around here.


While I might have worded it differently, I agree. While one may not like all of the members one has, want back more controversial posters, all should be treated the same. If instead one wants to start anew, with inviting the formally banned members back, because one finds they add more, instead of disrespecting those that have staid with you, it's better to ban them, than to condescend. JMO.

Every member here is treated the same. I've disrespected no one at all. I've been condescending to no one. But honestly, and I mean this respectfully, I believe the members who refuse to work with me on these issues, and prefer to keep fighting, are the ones disrespecting me and the rest of the community.


You already agreed that there was a 'gentleman's agreement.' Jim never denied. Seems to me that it's a clear call for others either falling in line or getting out of the way.

There is no "agreement" or special treatment and I have no idea where this kind of crap comes from. He's been treated the SAME as everyone else. To say that others need to fall in line or get out of the way is just more drama. Tell me, if that's the case, what has been done to you that makes you feel that is the case? Seems to me that Con has had a SHITLOAD of posts moved and a few thread bans. This has not applied to ANYONE other than 2 other members. That alone makes your comments fall flat.


Kathianne. Doesn't really matter. Many of us have seen this same kind of thing before.

Unfortunately for jim. This being his forum. Since we have seen how it works. Jim will just have to find out in due time.

Without using any member names. All of us know when we are being patronized, or bamboozled by the VICTIMS who cry the loudest.

Wouldn't your "problem" pretty much disappear if you used the ignore feature? ALL OF THOSE complaining, and I mean EVERYONE - no one wants to use this feature - but all want to be a part of the drama - and then demand Jim take actions when it doesn't work out too well.


Sell the board and move to Aruba. Reasonable, but if that's not feasible. Mod heavy and send it to the cage at every turn. No mercy. You certainly don't need member input; its not a democracy. The very idea of a benevolent dictator is riddled with ineptitude. Stick with your gut; lead, follow, or get out of the way.

And that's what I am doing going forward, moving of posts and thread bans. If someone takes it further, than so will I.


Jim, its like running a bar......you want to see everyone having a good time, you want to encourage more customers.....sure, once in a while some foul worthless drunk wanders in and urinates on the pool table......you just have to realize that means some of us are going to have a little less good times for a while.....

Unfortunately, some think I am in cahoots with the drunk pee pee man.


Well said. I am in the same position as you. So, I don't really have any useful advice for Jim. Whatever he decides to do will have no affect on me at this forum.

Well, look at that. Thunderknuckles just explained how great this board can be for you, if you use the ignore feature or don't get sucked into the drama and endless fights.

[darin]

jeezus people - STOP READING INTO EVERYTHING Jim says or does. The dramamongers here - you probably know who you are. If you can't identify a dramamonger, you are probably it - get hot and bothered stirring shit up; they get joygasms from playing the victim or portending collusion; cloak and dagger shit.

[tailfins]

jeezus people - STOP READING INTO EVERYTHING Jim says or does. The dramamongers here - you probably know who you are. If you can't identify a dramamonger, you are probably it - get hot and bothered stirring shit up; they get joygasms from playing the victim or portending collusion; cloak and dagger shit.

Does that mean if you identify yourself as a drama-monger, you're probably mistaken? Huh, smartypants?

[darin]

Does that mean if you identify yourself as a drama-monger, you're probably mistaken? Huh, smartypants?

It means if you look around and can't see anyone drama-mongering, there's a good chance it's you.

[PostmodernProphet]

Unfortunately, some think I am in cahoots with the drunk pee pee man.

not "cahoots"....though some of wonder why you didn't waterproof the pool table......

[tailfins]

not "cahoots"....though some of wonder why you didn't waterproof the pool table......

He doesn't have the balls.

[ConHog]

Lack of moderation = every thread turns into a fight
Moderation = everyone complains about biased treatment



For example though - look at my "rule" or request at the top of the board, to reel in the fighting, and to keep it out of good threads, and to start fights in the cage if one really needs to. No one really listened. Then when I applied the rules I requested, everyone got pissed.



I think moderation is the only answer as well. I've tried endlessly to have little to no moderation here at DP, but I'm afraid some take advantage of that. I will never allow moderation to take over the board, but it's become obvious that 'some' is necessary to fix things around here.



Every member here is treated the same. I've disrespected no one at all. I've been condescending to no one. But honestly, and I mean this respectfully, I believe the members who refuse to work with me on these issues, and prefer to keep fighting, are the ones disrespecting me and the rest of the community.



There is no "agreement" or special treatment and I have no idea where this kind of crap comes from. He's been treated the SAME as everyone else. To say that others need to fall in line or get out of the way is just more drama. Tell me, if that's the case, what has been done to you that makes you feel that is the case? Seems to me that Con has had a SHITLOAD of posts moved and a few thread bans. This has not applied to ANYONE other than 2 other members. That alone makes your comments fall flat.



Wouldn't your "problem" pretty much disappear if you used the ignore feature? ALL OF THOSE complaining, and I mean EVERYONE - no one wants to use this feature - but all want to be a part of the drama - and then demand Jim take actions when it doesn't work out too well.



And that's what I am doing going forward, moving of posts and thread bans. If someone takes it further, than so will I.



Unfortunately, some think I am in cahoots with the drunk pee pee man.



Well, look at that. Thunderknuckles just explained how great this board can be for you, if you use the ignore feature or don't get sucked into the drama and endless fights.

Jim the truth is, who cares what we all think? It's your board, if some think you're doing things unfairly tough shit.

I mean certainly we appreciate fairness, but you owe no one an explanation. This board is YOUR property. Hell I suppose as far as it goes, even if you wanted to be unfair , it's your board, no one has to stay... I would hope that you never chose to do that for anyone or to anyone; but again it is YOUR board.

[tailfins]

Jim the truth is, who cares what we all think? It's your board, if some think you're doing things unfairly tough sh**.

I mean certainly we appreciate fairness, but you owe no one an explanation. This board is YOUR property. **** I suppose as far as it goes, even if you wanted to be unfair , it's your board, no one has to stay... I would hope that you never chose to do that for anyone or to anyone; but again it is YOUR board.

But we're the customers.

[ConHog]

But we're the customers.

Really ? Well then I'm sure Jim would be happy to give you a refund on your purchase price should you decide to leave. :laugh:

[tailfins]

Really ? Well then I'm sure Jim would be happy to give you a refund on your purchase price should you decide to leave. :laugh:

More of us should pony up. Myself included. Paypal sucks, posting an address to send a money order would be helpful.

[ConHog]

More of us should pony up. Myself included. Paypal sucks, posting an address to send a money order would be helpful.

I actually like PayPal. That's for another thread though.

And actually that is one of the things I most like about Jim , an occasional contribution is appreciated but I've never seen a thread or received any sort of communication from him pandering for such like you see at so many other boards.

[ConHog]

More of us should pony up. Myself included. Paypal sucks, posting an address to send a money order would be helpful.

also, you should pony up, contributing membership includes a hidden forum where we are all making fun of you regular members. :laugh:

[tailfins]

also, you should pony up, contributing membership includes a hidden forum where we are all making fun of you regular members. :laugh:

Can I call you at BR-549 and get more details?

http://syntaxofthings.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/08/30/br549.jpg

[jimnyc]

not "cahoots"....though some of wonder why you didn't waterproof the pool table......

Is "cahoots" a word? I hear people speaking it all the time, and I just spelled it like it sounds! LOL


Jim the truth is, who cares what we all think? It's your board, if some think you're doing things unfairly tough shit.

I mean certainly we appreciate fairness, but you owe no one an explanation. This board is YOUR property. Hell I suppose as far as it goes, even if you wanted to be unfair , it's your board, no one has to stay... I would hope that you never chose to do that for anyone or to anyone; but again it is YOUR board.

I like to be open and honest, I do care what everyone thinks. I know I don't owe explanations, but it feels like the right thing to do when a lot of anger is around.


But we're the customers.

This is true, but I always thought customer inferred money changing hands. I'd like to think of all of us as a community, and I'm a community leader just like Obama was! :coffee:

[mundame]

http://www.debatepolicy.com/images/debate_policy/misc/quote_icon.png Originally Posted by jimnyc http://www.debatepolicy.com/images/debate_policy/buttons/viewpost-right.png (http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?p=609449#post609449)

Unfortunately, some think I am in cahoots with the drunk pee pee man.






not "cahoots"....though some of wonder why you didn't waterproof the pool table......



I loved the pee pee man comment. :laugh:

[ConHog]

Is "cahoots" a word? I hear people speaking it all the time, and I just spelled it like it sounds! LOL



far as I know you spelled it correctly. But I thought cahoots was what girls had when we were in first grade.


I like to be open and honest, I do care what everyone thinks. I know I don't owe explanations, but it feels like the right thing to do when a lot of anger is around.


and I think MOST of us realize that, which is why you shouldn't worry when a few think otherwise.
For the most part, you are as fair as any board owner around, that's all anyone of us can ask. Even though some sometimes tend to expect more from others than they themselves give






This is true, but I always thought customer inferred money changing hands. I'd like to think of all of us as a community, and I'm a community leader just like Obama was! :coffee:

I knew it, you're a closet liberal.

[gabosaurus]

Jim, you need to make Con Hog and I mods. That would solve everything. :salute:

[Thunderknuckles]

Jim, you need to make Con Hog and I mods. That would solve everything. :salute:
One can only imagine the carnage that would ensue :p

[ConHog]

One can only imagine the carnage that would ensue :p

LOL

yes can you imagine if two liberals like Gabby and I were made mods . :lol:

[darin]

Jim, you need to make Con Hog and I mods. That would solve everything. :salute:


Not with that grammar ;) Honey, you do not moderate yourself very well.

[tailfins]

LOL

yes can you imagine if two liberals like Gabby and I were made mods . :lol:

No need to imagine, just visit Democrat Subterranean. Better still, try posting there with userID ProudGOP or something similar.

[gabosaurus]

d, tell me where the bad grammar is. "Con Hog and I" is the proper usage in this situation.

And you should talk about not moderating yourself properly. :laugh:

[ConHog]

No need to imagine, just visit Democrat Subterranean. Better still, try posting there with userID ProudGOP or something similar.

one forum really is enough for me.


i mean for politics.

[mundame]

The grammar clue here is to say, "You need to make me a mod." Old way of clarifying that difficult point.

[aboutime]

No need to imagine, just visit Democrat Subterranean. Better still, try posting there with userID ProudGOP or something similar.


tailfins. Or, better yet. Let them discover the wonderful Liberal world of PERSPECTIVES using a GOP, or CON in their names.

[darin]

d, tell me where the bad grammar is. "Con Hog and I" is the proper usage in this situation.

And you should talk about not moderating yourself properly. :laugh:

He should make I a mod! He should make me a mod! ;)


I do talk about moderating myself! In fact I am so good at moderating me and others Jim "pays" me to work as a supervisor of moderators!

[hjmick]

Moderating a board such as this is a thankless task. It is surprising what a whiny, thin skinned bunch of crybabies can be found on message boards. People getting butt hurt at the slightest insult. That anyone can still find pleasure in posting after serving time as a moderator surprises me. I took several months off after I served as a moderator at the now defunct Political Nutshell. You think people annoy you as a regular member? HAH!

My sympathies and thanks to all who accept this thankless and under appreciated job.

To the rest of you, give it a rest, and give Jim and the rest of the staff a break...

[Kathianne]

Moderating a board such as this is a thankless task. It is surprising what a whiny, thin skinned bunch of crybabies can be found on message boards. People getting butt hurt at the slightest insult. That anyone can still find pleasure in posting after serving time as a moderator surprises me. I took several months off after I served as a moderator at the now defunct Political Nutshell. You think people annoy you as a regular member? HAH!

My sympathies and thanks to all who accept this thankless and under appreciated job.

To the rest of you, give it a rest, and give Jim and the rest of the staff a break...

It is better to be on this side, I'll give you that.

[taft2012]

ah, one of my favorites.

http://dailypicksandflicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Internet-forum-moderator.jpg

[red states rule]

http://www.nairaland.com/attachments/238282_forum_moderators_jpg8641c3e238fbbbe68f00e66 34eb2ea56