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View Full Version : Answering machines that waste your time trying to guess why you called



Little-Acorn
05-25-2007, 12:54 PM
I don't know about you, but I've had it up to here with those telephone answering systems that more and more companies seem to be getting. The ones that keep offering you choice after choice, none of which are the ones you needed to talk to someone about.

I call my son's high school, and invariably a machine picks up with a recorded message. After a long-winded recorded message saying that I had indeed reached that particular school (what's wrong with "Hello?" On the VERY rare times when I mis-dial, I can usually figure out pretty quickly that I got the wrong number. Does your clientele contain an overly large proportion of people who (a) can't dial a phone, and (b) still think they're talking to high school staff after the fourth repetition of "Do you want fries with that?"?)

Then, instead of a human whom I can ask, "May I speak to Mr. Wrigley, please?", the machine starts playing "20 Questions" with me. And it invariably starts with, "For English, press 1"... a request that makes me think back to the number I dialled and wonder if I somehow slipped an incorrect "Country code" into it. No, I didn't.

Then it's "If you would like to contact the Attendance office, press 3." Ummm, did I do or say ANYTHING to make you think I wanted the Attendance office? In fact, couldn't you have skipped that question entirely, and all its brethern, simply by asking me what I DID want, instead of guessing?

Next, "If you would like to speak to an office administrator, press 4."

And on through the rest of it. "If you would like to speak to a school staff member, press 5." I'm still not sure of the difference between an administrator and a staff member. Maybe the staff member does actual work, while administrators design and install silly and inane phone answering systems?

"If you would like to speak to a teacher, please press 6." Aha... only six questions, and we've already narrowed it down to only half the adults at the school. I press 6.

"You have reached the teachers' answering service." I know that, I pressed 6 for that purpose. Are you now bragging that your vaunted Answering Machine actually does what it says it will do? It this a new and unusual development for you, that merits a special notice on the system itself, to customers who don't care about someone else's machine? See above comment about long-winded and useless intro messages.

"If you know the extension of the person you are calling, you may enter it at any time." That's nice. But those extensions aren't published anywhere, not in the phone book, not in the Internet directory, not in the School's archives. Something about the school worrying about teachers, the Principal, etc. getting crank phone calls. Apparently they figure that people who make crank calls won't bother spending much time with this long drawn-out procedure of getting in touch with an actual human... while someone who actually has something important to discuss, must jump through every single long, annoying hoop they put up.

"For Mrs. Anderson, press one-one."

"For Mrs. Aubrey, press one-two."

"For Mr. Benson, press one-three."

Oh, boy. I can see this is going to be a long day. Not sure how many teachers are at this school, but it isn't a little campus. And Mr. Wrigley is likely to be pretty close to the end of the list they have programmed in to the thing.

Do you see where I'm coming from here? I know, the school is trying to save money. They probably eliminated the salary of one entire switchboard operator or secretary.

But they did it by taking up MY time instead of hers. Now, every call takes MUCH longer to complete, than a simple "May I speak to Mr. Wrigley, please?".

And God help you if you press a wrong button. If you're lucky, you'll simply be bumped back to the beginning of the teacher list, and get to listen once more to all those extensions you couldn't care less about. But if you aren't so lucky, you may wind up waiting on hold for an extension in a closet somewhere that hasn't been used in ten years, listening to it ring, and ring, and ring, wih no way to get anyone's attention or say, "Oops, I made a mistake, it was MR. WRIGLEY I wanted, please, please don't be angry with me......"

Please, companies the world over. Stop admiring the marvelous complexity of your new phone answering machine for a minute, and ask youself who it is actually benefitting. The people trying to call you? Or the second-assistant-bean-counter over in the district office who never gets any calls because he is frankly a geek and a crashing bore no one wants to talk to, but whose job it was to select a phone system?

Lose the machine. Please.

And especially, get rid of the message that says, "Please don't hang up. Your call is important to us. And it will be answered in the order it was received, as soon as a customer service rep is available." BULL. If my call was important to YOU, you would have answered the damned phone, instead of rigging up some time-wasting machine to waste my time while stumbling through it. And this message tells me that you are aware of this problem, to the point where you have seen people hang up when they get the machine.

Maybe YOU should take the hint.



Well, maybe that's not a "Politics" issue. But I sure feel better for having beaten up MY machine over it.
:coffee:

Hobbit
05-25-2007, 01:39 PM
Might wanna move this to the lounge.

In any case, I agree. I've seen way to many companies go to this, and I hate the idiot catering. I once had a video card literally immolate itself at me. I immediately found the problem, a faulty capacitor. Anyway, I called the tech support number, to find out it was the company's generic line.

For sales, press 1
For career opportunities, press 2
For marketing, press 3
...
:bang3: :bang3: :bang3: :bang3:
Tech support was number 9

Then, I'm at the tech support menu, and I have to choose.

For memory, press 1
For motherboards, press 2
For storage devices, press 3
For disk drives, press 4
For video cards, press 5

Finally, I'm going to get a tech guy...or not.

If you're experiencing slow-downs or skips, press 1
If your computer does not recognize your video card, press 2
(It turns out there were actually 15 options, but I only needed number 8)
...
If you are getting no picture, whatsoever, press 8

Check and see if your computer is plugged in and turned on. Did this work?
If not, press 1

Check to see if your monitor is plugged into your computer and is turned on. You should see a light somewhere on the monitor if it is on. Did this work?
If not, press 1

Press your video card firmly into its slot on your motherboard and make sure it is secured in place. Did this work?
If not, press 1

You are now being patched through to the next available technical support representative. Be sure to have your specific model number and computer specifications ready.

...

All of our technical support representatives are currently busy helping other customers. Your call is important to us, so please hang on the line and your call will be answered in the order it was recieved.

20 minutes of crappy hold music with the above message repeating every 2 minutes.

Hello, this is [name] with PNY (yes, I'm printing the name of the company because I hate them), how may I help you?

Finally, I get an actual guy. I tell him my problem. After deciding to believe that my video card did, in fact, catch fire, he tells me it's not their fault. I ask him how he figures that, since it was a bad component on their video card that caused their video card to self-immolate and that I have the component in my hand and can see the corroded leads that lead to its failure. We argue, I ask to speak to his supervisor. He tells me the same thing. Eventually, he hangs up on me. I call my dad. We have a talk about these things. I go through long tech-support queue AGAIN. I quote chapter and verse on federal statutes to these guys. They agree to replace the video card, but not the motherboard and microprocessor that got fried. I, again, quote chapter and verse of federal merchantability statutes stating that they are responsible for all unexpected damages stemming from a malfunction during normal use of the product. They hang up on me. This time, I call sales (far more representatives and virtually no hold time, because they'd rather sell me something than help me fix what I've purchased) and have them forward me to legal. I explain my case to legal. I tell them my next phone call goes to the SEC if they don't give me what I'm legally entitled to. They 'call my bluff.' I call the SEC. Company gets investigated. I get recompensated plus some. Massive recall is issued. I buy my brand new video card from ATI. New video card doesn't self-immolate.

Ok, so half of that had nothing to do with the phone system, but the phone system definitely worsened the problem.

Doniston
05-25-2007, 03:10 PM
I don't know about you, but I've had it up to here with those telephone answering systems that more and more companies seem to be getting. The ones that keep offering you choice after choice, none of which are the ones you needed to talk to someone about.

I call my son's high school, and invariably a machine picks up with a recorded message. After a long-winded recorded message saying that I had indeed reached that particular school (what's wrong with "Hello?" On the VERY rare times when I mis-dial, I can usually figure out pretty quickly that I got the wrong number. Does your clientele contain an overly large proportion of people who (a) can't dial a phone, and (b) still think they're talking to high school staff after the fourth repetition of "Do you want fries with that?"?)

Then, instead of a human whom I can ask, "May I speak to Mr. Wrigley, please?", the machine starts playing "20 Questions" with me. And it invariably starts with, "For English, press 1"... a request that makes me think back to the number I dialled and wonder if I somehow slipped an incorrect "Country code" into it. No, I didn't.

Then it's "If you would like to contact the Attendance office, press 3." Ummm, did I do or say ANYTHING to make you think I wanted the Attendance office? In fact, couldn't you have skipped that question entirely, and all its brethern, simply by asking me what I DID want, instead of guessing?

Next, "If you would like to speak to an office administrator, press 4."

And on through the rest of it. "If you would like to speak to a school staff member, press 5." I'm still not sure of the difference between an administrator and a staff member. Maybe the staff member does actual work, while administrators design and install silly and inane phone answering systems?

"If you would like to speak to a teacher, please press 6." Aha... only six questions, and we've already narrowed it down to only half the adults at the school. I press 6.

"You have reached the teachers' answering service." I know that, I pressed 6 for that purpose. Are you now bragging that your vaunted Answering Machine actually does what it says it will do? It this a new and unusual development for you, that merits a special notice on the system itself, to customers who don't care about someone else's machine? See above comment about long-winded and useless intro messages.

"If you know the extension of the person you are calling, you may enter it at any time." That's nice. But those extensions aren't published anywhere, not in the phone book, not in the Internet directory, not in the School's archives. Something about the school worrying about teachers, the Principal, etc. getting crank phone calls. Apparently they figure that people who make crank calls won't bother spending much time with this long drawn-out procedure of getting in touch with an actual human... while someone who actually has something important to discuss, must jump through every single long, annoying hoop they put up.

"For Mrs. Anderson, press one-one."

"For Mrs. Aubrey, press one-two."

"For Mr. Benson, press one-three."

Oh, boy. I can see this is going to be a long day. Not sure how many teachers are at this school, but it isn't a little campus. And Mr. Wrigley is likely to be pretty close to the end of the list they have programmed in to the thing.

Do you see where I'm coming from here? I know, the school is trying to save money. They probably eliminated the salary of one entire switchboard operator or secretary.

But they did it by taking up MY time instead of hers. Now, every call takes MUCH longer to complete, than a simple "May I speak to Mr. Wrigley, please?".

And God help you if you press a wrong button. If you're lucky, you'll simply be bumped back to the beginning of the teacher list, and get to listen once more to all those extensions you couldn't care less about. But if you aren't so lucky, you may wind up waiting on hold for an extension in a closet somewhere that hasn't been used in ten years, listening to it ring, and ring, and ring, wih no way to get anyone's attention or say, "Oops, I made a mistake, it was MR. WRIGLEY I wanted, please, please don't be angry with me......"

Please, companies the world over. Stop admiring the marvelous complexity of your new phone answering machine for a minute, and ask youself who it is actually benefitting. The people trying to call you? Or the second-assistant-bean-counter over in the district office who never gets any calls because he is frankly a geek and a crashing bore no one wants to talk to, but whose job it was to select a phone system?

Lose the machine. Please.

And especially, get rid of the message that says, "Please don't hang up. Your call is important to us. And it will be answered in the order it was received, as soon as a customer service rep is available." BULL. If my call was important to YOU, you would have answered the damned phone, instead of rigging up some time-wasting machine to waste my time while stumbling through it. And this message tells me that you are aware of this problem, to the point where you have seen people hang up when they get the machine.

Maybe YOU should take the hint.



Well, maybe that's not a "Politics" issue. But I sure feel better for having beaten up MY machine over it.
:coffee: I fully agree, and now when it happens I start pushing buttons, #, *, and O usually they put someone on. the first choice on every one of those machines should be "do you wish to speak to a people"

Gaffer
05-25-2007, 03:53 PM
I have been having trouble with my internet server. For the last two months. It's part of the phone company here. They have the same damn system. It takes ten minutes to get through to the please wait for an available technition part. I hate having to call them for anything.

Maybe I'll try donistons idea and start pushing buttons.

Abbey Marie
05-25-2007, 04:07 PM
I have been having trouble with my internet server. For the last two months. It's part of the phone company here. They have the same damn system. It takes ten minutes to get through to the please wait for an available technition part. I hate having to call them for anything.

Maybe I'll try donistons idea and start pushing buttons.

Hey, it's only fair. They are definitely pushing yours! :D :)

Mr. P
05-25-2007, 04:21 PM
I fully agree, and now when it happens I start pushing buttons, #, *, and O usually they put someone on. the first choice on every one of those machines should be "do you wish to speak to a people"

Works most of the time..I start with "0" 90% of the time that takes me to a live person. I used to have a list of what to push for all kinds of places, I'll look around and post it if I find it.

5stringJeff
05-25-2007, 06:06 PM
Works most of the time..I start with "0" 90% of the time that takes me to a live person. I used to have a list of what to push for all kinds of places, I'll look around and post it if I find it.

I always press zero first thing as well, unless it's my insurance company/bank, whose automated system I know well enough to know the right buttons to press, and get a real person after 3-4 menus.

dan
05-30-2007, 11:55 AM
Wow, you guys are really passionate about this!

Two weird things I've had lately are political messages (right-wing and left), and earlier today, I had a lawyer who had a big speech from Rocky Balboa as his outgoing message.

Pale Rider
05-30-2007, 11:46 PM
Also, when you're told to press this and that for what seems an eternity, you're then asked to enter all this account information when calling certain places, only to be ASKED FOR IT AGAIN WHEN A PERSON FINALY DOES ANSWER. It's a damn crock.

But here's a little secret, most of these systems will get you to an operator if you press "0". Most I say, not all. Try it. When all the press this for that starts, just press "0".

nevadamedic
07-16-2007, 09:38 PM
I have been having trouble with my internet server. For the last two months. It's part of the phone company here. They have the same damn system. It takes ten minutes to get through to the please wait for an available technition part. I hate having to call them for anything.

Maybe I'll try donistons idea and start pushing buttons.

If it's a voice system you can say operator and that usually works.