Nudist Slams Testicles In Car Door.

[stephanie]

:eek:

Posted in What The ? by Klink on the May 24th, 2007
Most everyone at sometime or another has smashed their finger while closing a door. The excruciating pain of a smashed finger cannot compare to the pain suffered by a 73 year old nudist this week in Florida.



While staying at the RV campground section of the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort near Orlando Florida, the sun worshiper’s slip up almost cost him his testicles. After backing his small camper into its parking spot at the resort, he and his wife were gathering some things out of the back seats of there car. The man had his arms full and attempted to close the car door by shutting it with his rear end.

Everybody in the campground knew that someone had gotten hurt pretty bad ,said one of the resorts employees. With the mixture of the man and his wife screaming the mishap could be heard through out half of the resort.

They were only stuck in the door for maybe 5 seconds ,said the nudist who refused to give out his name. My wife was as scared as I was. As soon as I shut the door I knew I had messed up in a big way. I guess they just swung back and got slammed in there when I pushed the door closed with my butt, he said.

I can’t imagine the pain he was in but they didn’t fill the need to go to the hospital and they plan on finishing out they vacation in Orlando.
http://www.funtechtalk.com/nudist-slams-testicles-in-car-door/

[shattered]

Damn, that just poses WAY too many questions I DON'T want the answer to.

...and a really bad visual.

[Abbey Marie]

Damn, that just poses WAY too many questions I DON'T want the answer to.

...and a really bad visual.


I know what you mean. It just doesn't seem, oh well, never mind.

[shattered]

I know what you mean. It just doesn't seem, oh well, never mind.

Right.. And so very wrong, it can't even be funny...

[Pale Rider]

OK girls... I'll say it so you don't have to... the guy must have had a sack hanging like a stud bull. :laugh2:

[Abbey Marie]

OK girls... I'll say it so you don't have to... the guy must have had a sack hanging like a stud bull. :laugh2:

I had to rep you for that one, Pale! :laugh2:

[shattered]

OK girls... I'll say it so you don't have to... the guy must have had a sack hanging like a stud bull. :laugh2:

He was 73! How far did it have to drop to....

Ack.

[Pale Rider]

I had to rep you for that one, Pale! :laugh2:

Thanks Abbey... :laugh2:

[Nienna]

Ick. Blech. :shiver:

[Pale Rider]

He was 73! How far did it have to drop to....

Ack.

Do I need to elaborate even further? :eek:

[shattered]

Do I need to elaborate even further? :eek:

I *told* you this image was all wrong.. I also said it raises a whole host of questions.. :D

[Abbey Marie]

It all works out, since his wife's boobs are probably at about the same height off the ground. :coffee:

[stephanie]

I figured I'd post this...To give all you nudist guys here on the board...

A warning!!!!!

:laugh2:

[shattered]

I figured I'd post this...To give all you nudist guys here on the board...

A warning!!!!!

:laugh2:

You should probably be mass-dinged for injecting everyones head with such a visual. :poke:

[stephanie]

You should probably be mass-dinged for injecting everyones head with such a visual. :poke:

:laugh2:

[Pale Rider]

You should probably be mass-dinged for injecting everyones head with such a visual. :poke:

Hell I pos repped her for such a good laugh. :2up:

[Pale Rider]

It all works out, since his wife's boobs are probably at about the same height off the ground. :coffee:

:laugh2:

[Abbey Marie]

Optional titles for the story:

The Case of the Crushed Cajones

The Saga of the Sagging Sacs

Great Balls of Fire

[Pale Rider]

It all works out, since his wife's boobs are probably at about the same height off the ground. :coffee:

:laugh2: :clap: :laugh: :bow2: :lol: :lmao:

[shattered]

Hell I pos repped her for such a good laugh. :2up:

So did I, but I scolded her. :)

[Pale Rider]

Optional titles for the story:

The Case of the Crushed Cajones

The Saga of the Sagging Sacs

Great Balls of Fire

Cracked Nuts In Season.

[stephanie]

Optional titles for the story:

The Case of the Crushed Cajones

The Saga of the Sagging Sacs

Great Balls of Fire

:lmao:
good ones...

[Pale Rider]

The board needs something to lighten it up every now and then Stephanie. That was a GOOD one... :beer:

[stephanie]

I hear ya Pale...

Thanks all.....:cheers2:

[5stringJeff]

I could have gone my whole life without imaging the pain one must feel whe getting your sagging nuts slammed in a car door. Thanks...

[Bulldog]

I just choked on my coffee reading these replies! :laugh2: :clap:

Sad, but undeniably hilarious! :lol:

Bulldog.

[shattered]

I could have gone my whole life without imaging the pain one must feel whe getting your sagging nuts slammed in a car door. Thanks...

Sagging is putting it mildly.. Did he not wear underwear his entire life? How far back did they have to fly to get caught in a car door that he slammed shut with his BUTT? You gotta figure close to a foot...

Wrong.
Bad.
Wrong.
Bad.

[stephanie]

Sagging is putting it mildly.. Did he not wear underwear his entire life? How far back did they have to fly to get caught in a car door that he slammed shut with his BUTT? You gotta figure close to a foot...

Wrong.
Bad.
Wrong.
Bad.

:laugh2:

[Bulldog]

Now you're making my eyes water! :eek:

Bulldog.

[5stringJeff]

Sagging is putting it mildly.. Did he not wear underwear his entire life? How far back did they have to fly to get caught in a car door that he slammed shut with his BUTT? You gotta figure close to a foot...

Wrong.
Bad.
Wrong.
Bad.

Ever see Silence of the Lambs? Nutsacks can swing back, especially if a guy is bent over sufficiently.

There's some more great mental images for you, eh?

[shattered]

Ever see Silence of the Lambs? Nutsacks can swing back, especially if a guy is bent over sufficiently.

There's some more great mental images for you, eh?

I've seen Silence several times.. It's one of my fav movies.. But.. he wasn't bent over! He was..oh, hell. Nevermind.

[chum43]

when I read that he was 73 I was half expecting to read that he was still sitting in the car when it happened.

the lesson, never close the door with your butt if you don't have pants on... the guy deserved it, nudists should know not to keep the family jewels so close to danger.

[stephanie]

He should of been wearing....

An under the butt nut hut....:poke:

[shattered]

I could never join a nudist colony.. I'd be too busy telling certain people to put clothes on...

[stephanie]

The sight... of all the boobs and........other things..
Flopping all around.....:eek:

[Pale Rider]

He should of been wearing....

An under the butt nut hut....:poke:

Then grandmaw should have been wearing an over the shoulder boulder holder.

[stephanie]

Then grandmaw should have been wearing an over the shoulder boulder holder.

Yep...:laugh2:

[Pale Rider]

I could never join a nudist colony.. I'd be too busy telling certain people to put clothes on...

Seriously.... SERIOUSLY... I totally agree. All that fat, wrinkles, stretch marks, sagging, disproportion.... :puke:

[5stringJeff]

He should of been wearing....

An under the butt nut hut....:poke:

You mean a banana hammock? :banana:



But of course he wasn't wearing anything... it's a nudist colony!

[shattered]

I want my mommy. People should be well-protected from such images.. They're mentally traumatizing.

[stephanie]

You mean a banana hammock? :banana:



But of course he wasn't wearing anything... it's a nudist colony!

Never heard that one before...:laugh2:

[Mr. P]

That pain shoot to my stomach! Damn!

[Bulldog]

:::NEWS FLASH:::

The man's wife has been reported as saying, "I never found reason to complain about the size of my husband's freehold, but he keeps moaning about his 2 acres!" :laugh2:

Bulldog.

[Abbey Marie]

So, to lighten the mood, let’s all re-enjoy this old chestNUT of a thread.

:laugh:

[jimnyc]

Sweet, necroposting a 10 year old thread!! :laugh:

I slammed my finger in the door, not once, but twice!! And that was perhaps the most painful things I have ever endured. Both times I ended up going to the hospital to get one drilled, and the other had the pressure released with a small laser that burnt a hole through my fingernail. I just couldn't imagine doing similar with the chestnuts, having them develop "pressure" and having to go to the hospital to have that pressure released! Oh man!!

[Abbey Marie]

Sweet, necroposting a 10 year old thread!! :laugh:

I slammed my finger in the door, not once, but twice!! And that was perhaps the most painful things I have ever endured. Both times I ended up going to the hospital to get one drilled, and the other had the pressure released with a small laser that burnt a hole through my fingernail. I just couldn't imagine doing similar with the chestnuts, having them develop "pressure" and having to go to the hospital to have that pressure released! Oh man!!

Girl’s gotta do whatever it takes!

[Russ]

A 73-year-old nudist guy? He must be tripping over himself every other step he takes!

:banana:(not sure why I added this icon - it just seems strangely appropriate)

[Abbey Marie]

The Perils of the Pendulous Pair

[Russ]

Maybe car safety tests from now on should include a "73-year-old nudist shutting the car door with his butt" safety test. I know if I were a 73-year-old car buyer, I would want to know!

(might be difficult to find 73-year-old nudist testers, though)

[aboutime]

https://www.sbs.com.au/news/sites/sbs.com.au.news/files/pain_web_1280x720.jpg

[Gunny]

A 73-year-old nudist guy? He must be tripping over himself every other step he takes!

:banana:(not sure why I added this icon - it just seems strangely appropriate)73 years old probably DOES explain how he managed to slam a car door on them. I'm having a hard time picturing that as a physical possibility. Seems to me one would have to put some serious effort into getting the nads in position for such a feat.

Just sayin'

[LongTermGuy]

His testies must be 2 feet long....Proof that stuff sags A LOT when you get old.:laugh: