10 Things NOT To Say To Your Child's Teacher

[Kathianne]

Good generalized advice to parents in communicating with teachers:

http://shine.yahoo.com/team-mom/10-things-never-kid-39-teacher-163700676.html


10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kid's Teacher<cite class="byline vcard"></cite>By Woman's Day (http://shine.yahoo.com/blogs/author/woman-s-day-ycn-1138777/)



Posts (http://shine.yahoo.com/blogs/author/woman-s-day-ycn-1138777/)





By Woman's Day (http://shine.yahoo.com/blogs/author/woman-s-day-ycn-1138777/) | Parenting (http://shine.yahoo.com/blogs/parenting/) – <abbr title="2012-08-21T20:54:03Z">3 hours ago

</abbr>As a parent, you know that advocating for your child is in your job description. So when an issue arises with the person who's molding his or her young mind, you're going to speak up. But it's important to choose your words carefully. "As with anyone whose service you depend on, it's in your best interest to avoid coming off as too critical or demanding to your child's teacher," says Suzanne Tingley, a former teacher, principal and superintendent, and author of How to Handle Difficult Parents (http://www.amazon.com/How-Handle-Difficult-Parents-Teachers/dp/1877673722/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325101267&sr=8-1). "Expressing your concerns in a neutral way usually leads to a more constructive conversation and a better outcome for your kid." Read on to learn which statements, however well-meaning, can land you in the "troublemaker" category. Photo by Thinkstock.


"My son says you don't give him enough time to finish his tests. I'd like to hear your side of the story." Laying out the situation and asking for the teacher's "side" may seem like a diplomatic approach, but to the teacher it reads as an attack, followed by a twist of the knife. "The kicker is the second part because it suggests you are mediating between two equals, like siblings who can't get along," says Tingley. A better tactic: "Jake seems to be struggling with his tests. What are you seeing?" When you start from a place of information-gathering, as opposed to putting the teacher on the defensive, you'll likely get a fuller picture of what's going on, says Tingley. (And you'll save yourself the embarrassment if it turns out your son has been doodling during every test.) From there, you and the teacher can decide on the best way to address the problem.<abbr title="2012-08-21T20:54:03Z">

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[gabosaurus]

In 25 years of teaching elementary school, my mom said the most common question she got from parents was "why did you fail my child?"
Rarely was it phrased "why did my child fail?"
Other favorites were "why did you steal my child's phone/ipod/other such device?" and "why are you so mean to my child?"

[Anton Chigurh]

I hated homework too and that never changed. My attitude was "you sumbitches are already taking up too much of my time as it is." I would use study hall and lull times in other classes to do the damn homework while I was still at school that same day.

Later I learned just to screw it, most of these teachers based 80 percent or so of your grade on the tests. I was a homework scofflaw, test acer once I had that figured out.

Hey, I had chores, I had friggin WORK to do after school, we had a ranch to maintain. We grew all our own food be it fowl, beef, dairy or veg. I really didn't have time for your stinking homework and also never found the time even after we weren't on the ranch anymore. Just detested it. Still do. Your time is your time and my goddamned time is MY time.

[cadet]

Nukeman! let's hear some of the crude you said to my little brothers principle!

(This is gonna be good....)

[Shadow]

Prior to my daughter being in a charter school (which she loves)...she refused to attend her spanish class at her old high school...told me she dropped it and proceeded to ditch every day for two weeks straight.

I called the school...was told by the asst princpal that his hands were tied and that he could not send her to detention until her teacher reported 5 unexcused absenses in her class. Pretty sad when you have to freaken bug the teacher to report ditching so you can get your own kid sent to detention BTW. So that was my big question...

"What does it take to get you to report students for ditching class...school policy is 5 days = detention. It's been two weeks"..

Her response was a total whine fest...starting with..."you just don't understand how hard it is keeping track of all these kids" " we are soooo short handed with budget cuts" yadda yadda yadda.

Me..".too bad...that's what you are paid to do".:rolleyes:

[gabosaurus]

Shadow, what kind of high school do your kids go to?
My high school was a closed campus. You could ditch class, but where you could go was a problem. Because faculty and staff roamed the hallways and district police patrolled the outside.
Instructors had to submit attendance reports for every class.
In our district's alternative school, the students wear a specific type of ID badge. If they try to leave campus, an alarm goes off.

[Shadow]

Shadow, what kind of high school do your kids go to?
My high school was a closed campus. You could ditch class, but where you could go was a problem. Because faculty and staff roamed the hallways and district police patrolled the outside.
Instructors had to submit attendance reports for every class.
In our district's alternative school, the students wear a specific type of ID badge. If they try to leave campus, an alarm goes off.

She now attends a charter school which is really strict...but she loves it so far, and seems to like all of her classes,teachers and her advisor. Prior...she was just attending a regular High school that was part of APS. Closed campus...but it was obviously not enforced very well. Mommy had to track her butt down and report her for detention multiple times. It became a second job...I finally gave up because the school would not work with me to get her on an academic plan. She ended up being reclassified as a freshman and later getting accepted at a charter school with an accelerated program...where she can catch up on credits she lost last year.

Probably better for her in the long run anyway. So, it seems to have worked out for the best.

[Kathianne]

Shadow, what kind of high school do your kids go to?
My high school was a closed campus. You could ditch class, but where you could go was a problem. Because faculty and staff roamed the hallways and district police patrolled the outside.
Instructors had to submit attendance reports for every class.
In our district's alternative school, the students wear a specific type of ID badge. If they try to leave campus, an alarm goes off.

Indeed that's the case now in every high school I'm at. Teachers are assigned hall duties, along with pretty extensive security teams. Bathrooms are checked, locker rooms are actually manned or ladied if you like. ;) Door exits are monitored.

In another thread I explained about when I was in high school and there were near 5k kids for 1800 capacity school. They did everything but kick kids out the doors. Homework didn't count, only tests and quizzes. Parents weren't notified regarding attendance for months. It's not like that today.