Have you ever really hated someone?

[Shadow]

I don't really ever remember genuinely feeling hate toward someone before...but today...after being confronted with someone I have not talked to in a very long time. I realized how much I really despise this person. Funny thing was...I didn't realize just how much until that moment. Made me uncomfortable.

Have you ever really hated a person?

[SassyLady]

Yes ... my stepfather. I used to dream of ways to kill him when I was a kid. He was a horrible man and caused a lot of permanent damage to our family.

[tailfins]

I don't really ever remember genuinely feeling hate toward someone before...but today...after being confronted with someone I have not talked to in a very long time. I realized how much I really despise this person. Funny thing was...I didn't realize just how much until that moment. Made me uncomfortable.

Have you ever really hated a person?

This opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. You should focus on indifference. Hate increases your investment in that person.

[darin]

Love and Hate are self-serving...selfish feelings/emotions.

I love/hate that person for how that person makes ME feel.

Have I hated somebody? Yes, in context, I hated how they made me feel - I hated that person for triggering within me massive doses of negativity.

[Shadow]

Yes ... my stepfather. I used to dream of ways to kill him when I was a kid. He was a horrible man and caused a lot of permanent damage to our family.

I have been fortunate not to have experienced the kind of trials that your family has gone through. I can't even imagine how I would cope with something like that either . I admire your strength to have gone through that and to have become the person you are now. Kind,generous, open and successful.

[Shadow]

This opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. You should focus on indifference. Hate increases your investment in that person.

Now that I recognize it...I can work on it hopefully. Funny thing was...I thought I was indifferent. Probably that 'out of sight,out of mind thing'.


Love and Hate are self-serving...selfish feelings/emotions.

I love/hate that person for how that person makes ME feel.

Have I hated somebody? Yes, in context, I hated how they made me feel - I hated that person for triggering within me massive doses of negativity.

That's exactly what it boils down to actually. I think what I am really mad at... is myself for investing in this person. And I REALLY hate it that they made me care about them. Now I just need to figure out how to get rid of this.

[darin]

That's exactly what it boils down to actually. I think what I am really mad at... is myself for investing in this person. And I REALLY hate it that they made me care about them. Now I just need to figure out how to get rid of this.

Call it something and just stop, maybe? Much like a 12-step program can help addicts, folks can become addicted to the pain they hold towards another. Some of the same techniques cross over, Shadow.

[jimnyc]

Yes, it's a major problem of mine, holding hatred towards others. I think its a bad thing and all the stress in life, which this would add to, makes us croak sooner than later!

From Will Smith in "Just the Two of Us" :

Feel the strife, but trust life does go on
But just in case
It's my place
To impart
One day some girl's gonna break your heart
And ooh ain't no pain like from the opposite sex
Gonna hurt bad, but don't take it out on the next, son
Throughout life people will make you mad
Disrespect you and treat you bad
Let God deal with the things they do
Cause hate in your heart will consume you too
Always tell the truth, say your prayers
Hold doors, pull out chairs, easy on the swears
You're living proof that dreams come true
I love you and I'm here for you

[gabosaurus]

I used to. Unless I went to counseling once for depression. Where I learned that hatred was self destructive.
The best way to show dislike toward someone is with indifference. A lot of people don't mind if you hate them. But they don't want to be ignored.

[jimnyc]

I used to. Unless I went to counseling once for depression. Where I learned that hatred was self destructive.
The best way to show dislike toward someone is with indifference. A lot of people don't mind if you hate them. But they don't want to be ignored.

My doctor instructs me about hatred too, but it makes little difference. If someone annoys me on the road, and I then meet up with them at the next red light, I can't help but look at them and feel hatred. Or is it something else? JUst anger? But I don't have road rage anymore, I rarely say anything anymore and never act out anymore.

Oh, and I hate you too, Gabby. But only because you can go see a Dodgers game whenever you want to and I can't.

[Shadow]

I used to. Unless I went to counseling once for depression. Where I learned that hatred was self destructive.
The best way to show dislike toward someone is with indifference. A lot of people don't mind if you hate them. But they don't want to be ignored.

A year or two ago I was taking my daughter to counceling for her bipolar disorder. Her therapist and I discussed the situation a bit once. She told me then that I probably needed to check into my own counceling sessions (she apparently knew it would become a problem down the road). Maybe I will do it now.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

Shit, I once hated enough people to fill a damn boxcar!
You would too if you had been around some of the people that I was when a young man out on the wild side..
I've seen people do shat that they truly needed thier damn head bashed in for. Yet I loving freedom and knowing its bad in a prison cell refrained and merely stomped their damn azzes.:laugh2:
Now Im down to hating only my second ex-wife and one other person I will not name.
haha, who can not guess that name??:laugh:
Went from an overflowing boxcar full to a mere duo, who says an Injun can't forgive?-;)-Tyr

[gabosaurus]

Jim, sounds like you are overdue for a visit to the Cathedral of Baseball -- Dodger Stadium.
When my friend Katie moved out here from Texas, first place I took her was to see a Dodger game.

OK, I have to admit that I occasionally hate the Yankees. Especially during the playoffs.
Katie makes no bones about hating the New England Patriots. Which I am guessing is the duty of every Steelers fan.

[Shadow]

My doctor instructs me about hatred too, but it makes little difference. If someone annoys me on the road, and I then meet up with them at the next red light, I can't help but look at them and feel hatred. Or is it something else? JUst anger? But I don't have road rage anymore, I rarely say anything anymore and never act out anymore.

Oh, and I hate you too, Gabby. But only because you can go see a Dodgers game whenever you want to and I can't.

Road rage is good therapy. I love to yell at the shitty drivers...gets it all outta my system for when I get home from work. :thumb:

[tailfins]

If someone annoys me on the road, and I then meet up with them at the next red light, I can't help but look at them and feel hatred. Or is it something else? JUst anger? But I don't have road rage anymore, I rarely say anything anymore and never act out anymore.

You're just misreading their gestures: They're telling you that you're number one. Lots of people have injured index fingers so they have to use the next one over.

[Abbey Marie]

Yes ... my stepfather. I used to dream of ways to kill him when I was a kid. He was a horrible man and caused a lot of permanent damage to our family.

From what you've shared about him, I hate him too.

[Abbey Marie]

Jim, sounds like you are overdue for a visit to the Cathedral of Baseball -- Dodger Stadium.
When my friend Katie moved out here from Texas, first place I took her was to see a Dodger game.

OK, I have to admit that I occasionally hate the Yankees. Especially during the playoffs.
Katie makes no bones about hating the New England Patriots. Which I am guessing is the duty of every Steelers fan.

It's kind of a civic duty to hate cheaters. :laugh:

[aboutime]

You're just misreading their gestures: They're telling you that you're number one. Lots of people have injured index fingers so they have to use the next one over.


I do believe. Everyone who drives has had a bad experience, at least once. And when someone shoots you the FINGER. There's a natural tendency to repay the sender with a matching single digit.
So. To avoid becoming the target...in other ways with Road Rage. Try to remind yourself, after seeing the MAGIC FINGER being displayed....That is their way of telling you THEIR AGE, or they are showing you how proud they are of their SINGLE DIGIT "IQ".....And MOVE ON.

[Shadow]

Call it something and just stop, maybe? Much like a 12-step program can help addicts, folks can become addicted to the pain they hold towards another. Some of the same techniques cross over, Shadow.

I would say you are probably correct. The councelor I talked to told me it was similiar to the stages of grieving.


Denial/isolation...anger...bargaining...depression...and finally exceptance.


I think I have already experienced some of these....so I may fall towards the down side of exceptance maybe?


At any rate I don't like it. It needs to go now...

[darin]

I would say you are probably correct. The councelor I talked to told me it was similiar to the stages of grieving.


Denial/isolation...anger...bargaining...depression...and finally exceptance.


I think I have already experienced some of these....so I may fall towards the down side of exceptance maybe?


At any rate I don't like it. It needs to go now...

Are you going to make it go away? Taking steps? :)

Give in, give up, get on. You got this, Shadow.

[cadet]

I used to hate this guy, (that mother #@$%in son of a...)
He was kinda an emotional bully. he was in charge of the nerd group i tried to hang out with. (I was dying for friends at the time) and every time i said something "No trigg, your stupid." "No, you don't know what your talking about" "Why would we ever listen to you." So yes, i hated him with every fiber of my being.

One day, i cussed him and every one of the nerd group out and told them the reason noone liked them was cause they were @$$holes, not cause they were "Smart"

I don't care anymore, and i feel sorry for the guy, he's a woman now. :laugh:

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

Road rage is good therapy. I love to yell at the shitty drivers...gets it all outta my system for when I get home from work. :thumb:

haha, I still curse them like the freaking idiots they are.-;)
Often would like to place a boot firmly in thier azz while pointing out their crappy driving.

[cadet]

haha, I still curse them like the freaking idiots they are.-;)
Often would like to place a boot firmly in thier azz while pointing out their crappy driving.

YESTERDAY, I had this guy run through a turn only spot and almost run me off the road. I honked, flipped the bird, and rode them the whole way home. Turns out, they live only a few blocks away from me. (Gonna go TP someone...)

[Shadow]

I used to hate this guy, (that mother #@$%in son of a...)
He was kinda an emotional bully. he was in charge of the nerd group i tried to hang out with. (I was dying for friends at the time) and every time i said something "No trigg, your stupid." "No, you don't know what your talking about" "Why would we ever listen to you." So yes, i hated him with every fiber of my being.

One day, i cussed him and every one of the nerd group out and told them the reason noone liked them was cause they were @$$holes, not cause they were "Smart"

I don't care anymore, and i feel sorry for the guy, he's a woman now. :laugh:

Yeah...I don't deal with people who dish out emotional abuse very well. I'm not as tolerant in that area as I used to be when I was younger. Lived with it for MANY years...both with parents and SO's. Leaves scars that are hard to get rid of when the nasty words come from someone you love. I have come to learn that people who have to tear others down to build themselves up are A) Hiding a lot of self esteem issues and B) Not worth getting to know or investing time into.

Most of these personalities need to be the center of attention at all times anyway (too high maintanence and needy for me to deal with). You probably threatened them with your mere presence. Glad to hear you kicked them to the curb. :)

[Abbey Marie]

Yeah...I don't deal with people who dish out emotional abuse very well. I'm not as tolerant in that area as I used to be when I was younger. Lived with it for MANY years...both with parents and SO's. Leaves scars that are hard to get rid of when the nasty words come from someone you love. I have come to learn that people who have to tear others down to build themselves up are A) Hiding a lot of self esteem issues and B) Not worth getting to know or investing time into.

Most of these personalities need to be the center of attention at all times anyway (too high maintanence and needy for me to deal with). You probably threatened them with your mere presence. Glad to hear you kicked them to the curb. :)

Sooo true, Shadow. The best repair for those particular scars is a new and better love, imo.