Family of Boy, 12, Who Hanged Himself Points to Bullying

[WiccanLiberal]

The article cited here goes on at great length to detail how this boy was bullied and how depressed he was about it, how he had actually shown a willingness to suicide in the past. It details how his parents tried to address it with the bullies and their parents. Finally in the last paragraph, it states the real kicker-the boy's father died jumping off a building.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/01/nyregion/bullying-may-have-affected-boy-12-who-hanged-himself.html

I am bothered on so many levels by this. Certainly bullying is a hot button issue. But it has always existed in schools. While I deplore it, I see no possibility of it disappearing. I see another problem here. Why in the name of little green apples didn't this kids #$@%^& family get him some psychiatric help?? You can't change the bullies. You can change the way you react to them. But in this case the kid seems to have been clinically depressed and with a family history of same. I hate to sound callous but a family who ignored a gesture like a kid trying to stab himself with pencils, bears some responsibility for his eventual suicide. Loads of people get bullied in school. Very few of them opt out of life because of it.

[Nell's Room]

I was bullied at school to the point of suicide. Both my attempts failed, and even that didn't stop the bullies. The school did nothing - their solution was to remove the victim. My bullies got nothing - not even a detention for their behavior. I was kicked, punched, slapped, spat at, called every name under the sun, and most of this went on in class and my teachers would just sit out the front and watch. When I fought back, I was the one to get the detention.

Seeing someone about it can help but you can't have someone follow you around every waking moment. This lad could have been seeing someone but its doubtful it would have made a difference because he was still having to enter a hostile environment every day.

I don't think bullies should be responsible for the suicide of someone they bullied, as its the victims choice to take their own life, whether they are depressed or not. But I think the bullies should be given three chances to change their behavior and then expelled if they don't improve.
For example, physical bully should get a three day suspension for the first incident, a 7 day suspension for the second, and an immediate expulsion the third time. The teachers who knew about the bullying should also be fired from their positions.

[ConHog]

The article cited here goes on at great length to detail how this boy was bullied and how depressed he was about it, how he had actually shown a willingness to suicide in the past. It details how his parents tried to address it with the bullies and their parents. Finally in the last paragraph, it states the real kicker-the boy's father died jumping off a building.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/01/nyregion/bullying-may-have-affected-boy-12-who-hanged-himself.html

I am bothered on so many levels by this. Certainly bullying is a hot button issue. But it has always existed in schools. While I deplore it, I see no possibility of it disappearing. I see another problem here. Why in the name of little green apples didn't this kids #$@%^& family get him some psychiatric help?? You can't change the bullies. You can change the way you react to them. But in this case the kid seems to have been clinically depressed and with a family history of same. I hate to sound callous but a family who ignored a gesture like a kid trying to stab himself with pencils, bears some responsibility for his eventual suicide. Loads of people get bullied in school. Very few of them opt out of life because of it.

No you cant stop bullies, but no one should be bullied in a public school setting. Bullies should be immediately expelled.from school.

No child should feel that suicide is the only way to end being picked on

[Nell's Room]

No you cant stop bullies, but no one should be bullied in a public school setting. Bullies should be immediately expelled.from school.

No child should feel that suicide is the only way to end being picked on

I agree, but you have to define bullying. What sort of bullying would led to an expulsion? If some kid was called a 'Carrot Top' do you expel the child because the red haired kid cried?
Or do you only expel those kids who use physical force to bully? If so, would a simple shove in the hallway led to an expulsion, or would it be a fist fight?

Whatever guidelines you put in place, you can be sure they will be abused.

[darin]

No you cant stop bullies, but no one should be bullied in a public school setting. Bullies should be immediately expelled.from school.

No child should feel that suicide is the only way to end being picked on


As Nell's alluded to, we can't control what people FEEL or decide to feel about their situation. No child SHOULD feel....those words are buzz words without a ton of reality. </SPAN>

No child SHOULD feel pain, yet it's GOOD to give kids a little pain, emotionally and physically. Emotional pain that's GREAT for kids: When mom and dad say "No" to the kids' demands. Physical pain that's GREAT for kids: Sore arms and legs from working in the yard with Mom and Dad. Etc...</SPAN>

Want to fix the bullies? Not just expel them, drive to their homes and rough-up their parents. I can't be sure, but I suspect EVERY bully is built at home. </SPAN>

As an aside...I wonder why schools are less-inclined to act against kids who are brats. Lawsuit-prevention-at-all-cost comes to mind.

WRT the OP: TERRIBLE situation. Holy shit would that kinda thing destroy me, as a parent, if I'm faced with that reality. Bullies didn't kill their child, however. Many factors there.