View Full Version : Line Up, Gentlemen
What are or were your best lines for picking up women? You can also post your wingman/best friend's lines as well.:cool:
ConHog
02-07-2012, 11:38 AM
"Hi, I'm Aaron and I can both lick my own eyebrows AND breathe through my ears"
//thread.
:laugh2:
"Hi, I'm Aaron and I can both lick my own eyebrows AND breathe through my ears"
//thread.
:laugh2:
LOL! That might do it. :laugh:
Only have one line, never failed.
Me: Hi
Lady: Hi
Me: Alright slut-mut the time for bullshit has passed.
Lady: *swoon*
Should i ever meet a lady that line doesn't work on, it probably wasn't going to work out anyways ^,^
logroller
02-07-2012, 11:42 AM
I was at a party and there was a group of us by the pool; I said I wanna go swimming but I didn't bring my suit-- girl says, 'you can wear your birthday suit' To which I said 'I didn't bring that either, can i borrow yours?' Scored a kiss for the effort :laugh:
How about "You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement" ? :eek:
"Your eyes are like limpid pools of primordial ooze, and I am the protozoa that wish to swim in their depths."
"Damn you're ugly! Did you hit every branch on the ugly tree when you fell off and then climb back up for seconds?"
"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"
"My mom won't be home for hours..."
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Worst_100_Pick-Up_Lines_of_All_Time
My all-time favorite: "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" :cheer5:
Only have one line, never failed.
Me: Hi
Lady: Hi
Me: Alright slut-mut the time for bullshit has passed.
Lady: *swoon*
Should i ever meet a lady that line doesn't work on, it probably wasn't going to work out anyways ^,^
Maybe try this one from time to time - you know, switch it up:
"Bet you 100 quid you can't turn me hetero."
Actually, that sounds like one my brother would use.
darin
02-07-2012, 11:48 AM
I don't approach women because I'm scared of them. Big time introvert most of the time.
But - there's ONE thing I've noticed women saying to ME.
"That's HIM, officer!"
:(
I don't approach women because I'm scared of them. Big time introvert most of the time.
But - there's ONE thing I've noticed women saying to ME.
"That's HIM, officer!"
:(
Well, quit using this one:
"I promise I won't videotape you in your sleep and sell the video on the internet more than once.":thumb:
Ugh. Women fall for sappy stuff that strokes our egos just like men do.
"I was blinded by your beauty so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons."
"If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!"
"Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?"
"Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me." :rolleyes:
ConHog
02-07-2012, 11:58 AM
In truth, lines make me laugh when I see guys using them.
All it really takes is
"Hi, I think you're beautiful and would love to see if you're as beautiful on the inside." Either she's interested or she isn't.
In truth, lines make me laugh when I see guys using them.
All it really takes is
"Hi, I think you're beautiful and would love to see if you're as beautiful on the inside." Either she's interested or she isn't.
That's true for many women/girls but a lot of them are just as shallow as some men are and those are the ones that the lines probably work on.
About a year ago I had a guy in the bar I went to with my brother suggest that we "make out to piss your brother off. It will be fun." Yes, seriously.
No, I didn't fall for it. J heard the guy and said he had to give props for the line. :laugh:
ConHog
02-07-2012, 12:05 PM
That's true for many women/girls but a lot of them are just as shallow as some men are and those are the ones that the lines probably work on.
About a year ago I had a guy in the bar I went to with my brother suggest that we "make out to piss your brother off. It will be fun." Yes, seriously.
No, I didn't fall for it. J heard the guy and said he had to give props for the line. :laugh:
WHy would you making out with a guy piss your brother off? That's possibly the lamest line I've ever heard. RIght up there with "Are your pants mirrors, because i can see myself in them."
WHy would you making out with a guy piss your brother off? That's possibly the lamest line I've ever heard. RIght up there with "Are your pants mirrors, because i can see myself in them."
Because my big brother is pretty protective of me. And most of the guys in that bar are male sluts. Oddly enough, most of the time I was just one of the guys, which can be disconcerting as well.
In any case, having a big brother around did keep me on the straight and narrow a few times. :halo9:
logroller
02-07-2012, 12:20 PM
In truth, lines make me laugh when I see guys using them.
All it really takes is
"Hi, I think you're beautiful and would love to see if you're as beautiful on the inside." Either she's interested or she isn't.
In truth, lines make girls laugh too; I think that's the point-- chicks dig guys with confidence and a sense of humor. Seeing as how I'm married, having the lines work isn't my intention, just the laughs.
Two of my favorites are 'How'd a good-looking girl like you like to get my hands down her pants?', & 'I've got new smart watch and it's saying you don't have any panties on...oh, it must be running a little fast.'
In truth, lines make girls laugh too; I think that's the point-- chicks dig guys with confidence and a sense of humor. Seeing as how I'm married, having the lines work isn't my intention, just the laughs.
Two of my favorites are 'How'd a good-looking girl like you like to get my hands down her pants?', & 'I've got new smart watch and it's saying you don't have any panties on...oh, it must be running a little fast.'
Try handing her a drink first, then the lines work better, trust me. Better yet, let her consume several drinks. ;)
SassyLady
02-07-2012, 10:05 PM
Guys are afraid to even use pick up lines on me.... ;(One of my husband's friends told me a really stupid knock knock joke the first time we met that had me pealing with laughter and my hubby doing the huffing and puffing thing.Knock knock.Who's there?Emerson.Emerson who?Emerson nice boobies you got there ma'am!
I don't have any pick up lines. I do, however, leave a couple of $100 bills hanging out of my pockets (only at the right times and places, of course).
I don't have any pick up lines. I do, however, leave a couple of $100 bills hanging out of my pockets (only at the right times and places, of course).
Where exactly could a gal find you again? :batteyes:
Where exactly could a gal find you again? :batteyes:
LOL! I'm the guy who is so old, no woman even notices me. I'm usually hiding in plain sight!
LOL! I'm the guy who is so old, no woman even notices me. I'm usually hiding in plain sight!
Oh, pshaw!
Tell you what, we can hang out over by the wall and make fun of the people who think they're all that, k?
Oh, pshaw!
Tell you what, we can hang out over by the wall and make fun of the people who think they're all that, k?
Heh ... I used to do that in high school. It's not a bad thing, by the way. I get to observe the sights and nobody cares. It's kind of like bird watching ... "Well looky thar! A double breasted matress thrasher!"
Heh ... I used to do that in high school. It's not a bad thing, by the way. I get to observe the sights and nobody cares. It's kind of like bird watching ... "Well looky thar! A double breasted matress thrasher!"
I've been doing that most of my life, CSM. It's not so bad.
Well, not the double-breasted matress thrasher bit. :lol9:
I've been doing that most of my life, CSM. It's not so bad.
Well, not the double-breasted matress thrasher bit. :lol9:
Oh, don't get me wrong, I am quite content.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I am quite content.
Believe it or not, I intensely dislike being the center of attention for the whole room. One or two people in the conversation and I'm cool. More than that and I tend to retreat to an outer wall.
People watching is very interesting.
cadet
02-08-2012, 10:02 AM
"I'm glad i brought my library card, cause i'm checkin you out."
"I'm glad i brought my library card, cause i'm checkin you out."
Does it work for you? :laugh:
cadet
02-08-2012, 11:17 AM
Does it work for you? :laugh:
YOUR DARN RIGHT IT DOES!!!!
especially when I'm working in the library.
MtnBiker
02-08-2012, 12:30 PM
This one takes some props, Hershey kisses.
In one had have one Hershey kiss in the other hand have several Hershey kisses.
Approach a nice lady, extend the and with one Hershey kiss and ask, "do you want a kiss?", wait for the smile, then extend the other hand, and ask "wanna make out" :cool:
Greek males don't need lines, women just come to us, in fact they use lines on us.
We are magnets.
ConHog
02-08-2012, 04:02 PM
Greek males don't need lines, women just come to us, in fact they use lines on us.
We are maggots.
FIFY:laugh2:
FIFY:laugh2:
Guess i'm gonna have to use my considerable sway here and get the changing of quotes rule changed.
Some people are to immature for it.
jimnyc
02-08-2012, 04:42 PM
Guess i'm gonna have to use my considerable sway here and get the changing of quotes rule changed.
Some people are to immature for it.
There is already a rule:
Quoting Posts - Members should not use the "quote" function to alter what another member has actually stated without making it clear to the reader that they have changed the quoted text.
Con - your post happens to be the first post on the 2nd page. So if someone should show up here via a search engine, they may land directly to the 2nd page, and never see OCA's post at all. Your post alone doesn't tell me that the quote you made has been altered. It's best to just not alter quotes like that, unless one is very clear in what they did/change.
ConHog
02-08-2012, 04:55 PM
There is already a rule:
Con - your post happens to be the first post on the 2nd page. So if someone should show up here via a search engine, they may land directly to the 2nd page, and never see OCA's post at all. Your post alone doesn't tell me that the quote you made has been altered. It's best to just not alter quotes like that, unless one is very clear in what they did/change.
No problem Jim, I thought FIFY with the laugh was enough , but I have no problem actually writing on the my post " I altered OCA's post.
OCA stop whining you little bitch. :laugh2:
jimnyc
02-08-2012, 04:57 PM
I can't speak for others, but I have no clue what "FIFY" stands for.
ConHog
02-08-2012, 04:58 PM
I can't speak for others, but I have no clue what "FIFY" stands for.
Fixed It For You
Sorry my bad, if the whole post gets deleted I understand and next time I'll be clearer.
No problem Jim, I thought FIFY with the laugh was enough , but I have no problem actually writing on the my post " I altered OCA's post.
OCA stop whining you little bitch. :laugh2:
Not whining.
I don't do childish things like altering posts, guess i'm more of a man than you, well no guess thats for certain.
DragonStryk72
02-08-2012, 06:07 PM
I could never use lines, I overthink too much, so they would never work on me. Now, my buddy Tisdale back in Navy? Oh dear sweet lord, I wonder to this day how he did not take a host of whuppings.
Let's see, there was his rather odd run at telling a girl he was going into the seminary the next day at Regents University, which worked.
Told a girl he was heading out on cruise on a sub (He left out that his ship was a sub-tender).
Knotted a cherry stem with his tongue in under 15 seconds.
Rode a mechanical bull for the full 8 seconds against a rodeo rider at the controls... and never dropped his beer.
While hanging with me in upstate NY, shamelessly whipped out the "share warmth" line.
And his crowning achievement: I am still not certain to this day what he said, but he managed to walk out of a club with a Marine's girlfriend after whispering something in her ear that turned her crimson, and had her leading him out of the bar. Okay, that time, we did have to bail him out of an ass beating, but still
Tisdale just was never possessed of anything closely resembling shame.
ConHog
02-08-2012, 06:10 PM
I could never use lines, I overthink too much, so they would never work on me. Now, my buddy Tisdale back in Navy? Oh dear sweet lord, I wonder to this day how he did not take a host of whuppings.
Let's see, there was his rather odd run at telling a girl he was going into the seminary the next day at Regents University, which worked.
Told a girl he was heading out on cruise on a sub (He left out that his ship was a sub-tender).
Knotted a cherry stem with his tongue in under 15 seconds.
Rode a mechanical bull for the full 8 seconds against a rodeo rider at the controls... and never dropped his beer.
While hanging with me in upstate NY, shamelessly whipped out the "share warmth" line.
And his crowning achievement: I am still not certain to this day what he said, but he managed to walk out of a club with a Marine's girlfriend after whispering something in her ear that turned her crimson, and had her leading him out of the bar. Okay, that time, we did have to bail him out of an ass beating, but still
Tisdale just was never possessed of anything closely resembling shame.
That's called the " I get slapped a lot , but I also get laid a lot" school of dating. I think we all know one. :laugh2:
SassyLady
02-08-2012, 07:18 PM
Cherry stem tied in knot works for me, even if it took longer than 15 seconds.
Cherry stem tied in knot works for me, even if it took longer than 15 seconds.
It's not that tough. Fellers kinda get goofy when a chick does it, I can tell you that. ;)
PostmodernProphet
02-09-2012, 05:50 PM
look at her and say, half under your breath but loud enough she can hear...."Good job, God"......
pegwinn
02-10-2012, 09:42 PM
I walk up and tell the lady I haven't had sex since 2003. Instantly she leads me off to the sack in a fit of sympathy. After we are done she normally asks why I waited so long. I look at my watch and tell her that since it's only 2200, it wasn't all that long ago...
Or, the ever popular.....
Hi, my name is Phil. Remember it, since you;ll be screaming it later.....
Gunny
02-11-2012, 08:58 AM
What are or were your best lines for picking up women? You can also post your wingman/best friend's lines as well.:cool:
HI, I'm a Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant and an asshole. Leave me alone.
HI, I'm a Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant and an asshole. Leave me alone.
Uh huh. See what happens when you say that? Look at where you are now. :neener:
Gunny
02-11-2012, 09:07 AM
Uh huh. See what happens when you say that? Look at where you are now. :neener:
Worked like a charm, didn't it?
Worked like a charm, didn't it?
Somehow I'm thinking that freezing your butt off in one of the most communist states in these here United States was not part of your plan all along.
But it's still a good plan. :hug99:
Gunny
02-11-2012, 09:14 AM
Somehow I'm thinking that freezing your butt off in one of the most communist states in these here United States was not part of your plan all along.
But it's still a good plan. :hug99:
I'm thinking of running for office. Us normal people need to figure out how to get rid of Chicago.
I'm thinking of running for office. Us normal people need to figure out how to get rid of Chicago.
We're "normal"? :lol9:
Baby, the closest we've ever been to normal is going to Bloomington. :whistling2:
I'm thinking of running for office. Us normal people need to figure out how to get rid of Chicago.
I'll vote for you but I don't wanna have to get all dressed up, k?
Gunny
02-11-2012, 09:37 AM
We're "normal"? :lol9:
Baby, the closest we've ever been to normal is going to Bloomington. :whistling2:
Uh huh. When I get sworn in, you get to wear the blue dress.:whistling2:
Uh huh. When I get sworn in, you get to wear the blue dress.:whistling2:
Uh huh. You wouldn't let me out of the house in that one. :laugh:
Gunny
02-11-2012, 09:53 AM
Uh huh. You wouldn't let me out of the house in that one. :laugh:
I wouldn't know. Never seen it, despite MANY promises .....
I wouldn't know. Never seen it, despite MANY promises .....
Huh. Oddly enough, I believe there was an email sent ...
Or you could go look in the closet. It's hanging in there. :cool:
Gunny
02-11-2012, 10:04 AM
Huh. Oddly enough, I believe there was an email sent ...
Or you could go look in the closet. It's hanging in there. :cool:
Uh huh. I've at least seen a PIC of your sister in a dress (the Heavens must've had to open for THAT).
Uh huh. I've at least seen a PIC of your sister in a dress (the Heavens must've had to open for THAT).
You've seen a pic or two of me in a dress too, Mr. Smarty-pants.
Gunny
02-11-2012, 10:07 AM
You've seen a pic or two of me in a dress too, Mr. Smarty-pants.
You call those things with "Marine's Girl" tattooed on the ass a "dress"?
You call those things with "Marine's Girl" tattooed on the ass a "dress"?
No. I don't.
But I did send you pics of me in the blue dress. Dingbat.
Gunny
02-11-2012, 10:14 AM
No. I don't.
But I did send you pics of me in the blue dress. Dingbat.
Not in front of that windo over there where the sun's shining in.
Not in front of that windo over there where the sun's shining in.
Well, duh!
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