View Full Version : What do people want?
darin
12-23-2011, 07:01 AM
In a word, Validation.
From our earliest years we are hard-wired to seek validation, acceptance - in short, we want to matter to somebody. As infants we cry until our needs are met. We are displaying behaviour directly requiring acknowledgement. As we move into childhood we take on learned behaviors which pay us back in degrees of validation. Some kids seek this through acting-up, others choose academic success. When a child wins in sports, they look to their peers and parents and coaches seeking a look or gesture of validation - recognition. Love is inherently selfish in this way. When we love another person, that feeling of love is driven by how the other person makes us FEEL. I've often said "Unexpressed love is as useless as a football-bat." For me to love my kids, but never or seldom display their importance makes my love for them irrelevant to their well-being. It's as if I had no love for them. In the same way, my kids LOVE me because I validate their existence. I validate their person-hood. I give them feedback for their behavior. It's Pavlovian in nature. When I do something romantic for my wife, I demand or require validation of my efforts as expressed in her words, actions or behaviours.
If you want somebody to love you, validate them. Express to them your approval of their state of being. If you do not do these things, it's no different to them than you NOT having love for them.
thoughts?
I want a great steak, preferably filet mignon cooked medium rare.
In a word, Validation.
From our earliest years we are hard-wired to seek validation, acceptance - in short, we want to matter to somebody. As infants we cry until our needs are met. We are displaying behaviour directly requiring acknowledgement. As we move into childhood we take on learned behaviors which pay us back in degrees of validation. Some kids seek this through acting-up, others choose academic success. When a child wins in sports, they look to their peers and parents and coaches seeking a look or gesture of validation - recognition. Love is inherently selfish in this way. When we love another person, that feeling of love is driven by how the other person makes us FEEL. I've often said "Unexpressed love is as useless as a football-bat." For me to love my kids, but never or seldom display their importance makes my love for them irrelevant to their well-being. It's as if I had no love for them. In the same way, my kids LOVE me because I validate their existence. I validate their person-hood. I give them feedback for their behavior. It's Pavlovian in nature. When I do something romantic for my wife, I demand or require validation of my efforts as expressed in her words, actions or behaviours.
If you want somebody to love you, validate them. Express to them your approval of their state of being. If you do not do these things, it's no different to them than you NOT having love for them.
thoughts?
I think this is what is at the heart of what most people want.
I want a great steak, preferably filet mignon cooked medium rare.
With a baked potato. Nummy!
Shadow
12-23-2011, 09:15 AM
I just want someone I can force to do stuff with me. :thumb:
shattered
12-23-2011, 09:17 AM
I want a great steak, preferably filet mignon cooked medium rare.
With sauteed garlic, mushrooms, and onions, please!
I just want someone I can force to do stuff with me. :thumb:
What kind of "stuff"?
Shadow
12-23-2011, 09:21 AM
What kind of "stuff"?
Movies,camping,road trips,concerts,fair days,fix my AC and my back gate etc...(.just not the mall...I hate the mall).
Movies,camping,road trips,concerts,fair days,fix my AC and my back gate etc...(.just not the mall...I hate the mall).
Hmmm, Movies good, camping good, road trips ok (prefer cruising/boating), fairs ok, repair work ... meh. Shopping is just not going to happen!
Shadow
12-23-2011, 09:28 AM
Hmmm, Movies good, camping good, road trips ok (prefer cruising/boating), fairs ok, repair work ... meh. Shopping is just not going to happen!
Cruising and boating is good...I know a great lake..one with cabins on the shoreline. Do you clean fish?
Cruising and boating is good...I know a great lake..one with cabins on the shoreline. Do you clean fish?
Only if I'm gonna eat em. Or were you thinking of "clean fish" as "just throw them in the dishwasher"?
I keep my boat in Portland, Maine and spend weekends cruising the coast of Maine. Live on the boat for weeks at a time when I can.
Shadow
12-23-2011, 10:09 AM
Only if I'm gonna eat em. Or were you thinking of "clean fish" as "just throw them in the dishwasher"?
I keep my boat in Portland, Maine and spend weekends cruising the coast of Maine. Live on the boat for weeks at a time when I can.
Well,who likes dirty fish...I mean... really. :rolleyes:
How do you cook them BTW?
Well,who likes dirty fish...I mean... really. :rolleyes:
How do you cook them BTW?
Depends what kind of fish we are talking about. Most fresh water frish i like on the grill. Saltwater I like fresh from the ocean and either on the grill or baked. I sometimes like them fried but not deep fried. Throw em in a skillet, some salt and pepper; nothing fancy.
Gunny
12-23-2011, 10:40 AM
With a baked potato. Nummy!
Somebody's been getting spoiled lately I see ....
Gunny
12-23-2011, 10:42 AM
Only if I'm gonna eat em. Or were you thinking of "clean fish" as "just throw them in the dishwasher"?
I keep my boat in Portland, Maine and spend weekends cruising the coast of Maine. Live on the boat for weeks at a time when I can.
Damn. I am SO hanging out with YOU.
Damn. I am SO hanging out with YOU.
Cmon up! I love having guests on the boat. The wife unit loves to cook and I love to cruise around, fish and even just sit at the dock and hang out. I have a 42' which sleeps 6 comfortably (if a bit intimate). When at the dock I have cable TV, internet, shore power and water .... all the amenities. Got a 32" flat screen for those Sunday afternoon football games too.
Thunderknuckles
12-23-2011, 11:12 AM
Dmp wakes up and like, goes all confucius on us today.
With a baked potato. Nummy!
Oh yeah!
Brush the baked potato with copious amounts of olive oil then press large chunks of sea salt into the skin. Wrap in foil and cook on the grill for 90 minutes at 350 for the first hour then 400 for the last 30 minutes. Serve covered in sour cream, tons of green onions, and REAL bacon bits from bacon cooked earlier.
Mmm-mm!
Shadow
12-23-2011, 05:32 PM
Depends what kind of fish we are talking about. Most fresh water frish i like on the grill. Saltwater I like fresh from the ocean and either on the grill or baked. I sometimes like them fried but not deep fried. Throw em in a skillet, some salt and pepper; nothing fancy.
Fancy is over rated anyway...I don't like fancy. Does your wife like to share??;)
Fancy is over rated anyway...I don't like fancy. Does your wife like to share??;)
LOL ... depends on what you want to share!
Shadow
12-27-2011, 10:03 AM
LOL ... depends on what you want to share!
Why...all of it baby...*wink* *wink* :laugh:
Why...all of it baby...*wink* *wink* :laugh:
Ya know, I never have asked. Hmmm ...
ConHog
12-27-2011, 10:34 AM
Oh yeah!
Brush the baked potato with copious amounts of olive oil then press large chunks of sea salt into the skin. Wrap in foil and cook on the grill for 90 minutes at 350 for the first hour then 400 for the last 30 minutes. Serve covered in sour cream, tons of green onions, and REAL bacon bits from bacon cooked earlier.
Mmm-mm!
I do mine similar but I slice them then precook them in the microwave for a few minutes then wrap in foil and grill. Grilled potatoes are DELIC.
ConHog
12-27-2011, 10:36 AM
I want a great steak, preferably filet mignon cooked medium rare.
While the tenderness of a filet is hard, near impossible, to beat. It isn't IMO the best tasting cut of meat. That would be a NY strip, that's why I prefer the T bone, you get a bit of both. Flavor AND tenderness. YUMMY.
I do mine similar but I slice them then precook them in the microwave for a few minutes then wrap in foil and grill. Grilled potatoes are DELIC.
Yep. I love grilled corn on the cob too. One of the reason it's the only vegetable allowed at "Pagan Meat Nite"!
ConHog
12-27-2011, 10:42 AM
Yep. I love grilled corn on the cob too. One of the reason it's the only vegetable allowed at "Pagan Meat Nite"!
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Grilled-Corn-on-the-Cob-with-Chile-and-Lime-239070
you're welcome.
ConHog
12-27-2011, 10:44 AM
Yep. I love grilled corn on the cob too. One of the reason it's the only vegetable allowed at "Pagan Meat Nite"!
To be fair, I love nearly every vegetable, and I love nearly anything grilled, so hard for me to find something I don't like LOL
Grilled pineapple may be as near as perfect a food as a person can have. Combine it with grilled pork and I'm in heaven.
Abbey Marie
12-27-2011, 11:39 AM
Only if I'm gonna eat em. Or were you thinking of "clean fish" as "just throw them in the dishwasher"?
I keep my boat in Portland, Maine and spend weekends cruising the coast of Maine. Live on the boat for weeks at a time when I can.
Wow, I am so jealous! We love Maine, and only get on the water if we rent something, or go on a "tour" boat around Boothbay or Bar harbor. Maybe we have crossed paths without knowing it.
:salute:
Wow, I am so jealous! We love Maine, and only get on the water if we rent something, or go on a "tour" boat around Boothbay or Bar harbor. Maybe we have crossed paths without knowing it.
:salute:
If you are around next spring, just give me a holler. I am on the boat EVERY weekend (barring family emergencies). Even a short day cruise around the harbor is fun.
PostmodernProphet
12-27-2011, 01:21 PM
people want us to care but we don't care what they want......
ConHog
12-27-2011, 03:13 PM
In a word, Validation.
From our earliest years we are hard-wired to seek validation, acceptance - in short, we want to matter to somebody. As infants we cry until our needs are met. We are displaying behaviour directly requiring acknowledgement. As we move into childhood we take on learned behaviors which pay us back in degrees of validation. Some kids seek this through acting-up, others choose academic success. When a child wins in sports, they look to their peers and parents and coaches seeking a look or gesture of validation - recognition. Love is inherently selfish in this way. When we love another person, that feeling of love is driven by how the other person makes us FEEL. I've often said "Unexpressed love is as useless as a football-bat." For me to love my kids, but never or seldom display their importance makes my love for them irrelevant to their well-being. It's as if I had no love for them. In the same way, my kids LOVE me because I validate their existence. I validate their person-hood. I give them feedback for their behavior. It's Pavlovian in nature. When I do something romantic for my wife, I demand or require validation of my efforts as expressed in her words, actions or behaviours.
If you want somebody to love you, validate them. Express to them your approval of their state of being. If you do not do these things, it's no different to them than you NOT having love for them.
thoughts?
Same thing all people want.
A beer
and to see something naked.
Same thing all people want.
A beer
and to see something naked.
There are some thngs I would rather NOT see naked, thank you very much!
PostmodernProphet
12-28-2011, 08:11 AM
I would go so far as to say the list of things I would not want to see naked is far larger than the list of things I would like to see naked........but, you just might be a redneck if.............
gabosaurus
12-28-2011, 12:33 PM
Leisure time spent with my family. Plus someone to cook and clean my house.
A beer
and to see something naked.
If you want, I can write Jim and have him send you a nude pic of him and his brothers. :cool:
ConHog
12-28-2011, 12:36 PM
Leisure time spent with my family. Plus someone to cook and clean my house.
If you want, I can write Jim and have him send you a nude pic of him and his brothers. :cool:
Are you kidding me? The first thing I got when I joined was an emailed pic , lifesize nude of Jim. I thought it was some sort of weird initiation right.:laugh:
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