back to homeschooling......

[Trinity]

I have not been on here for about two weeks due to moving and trying to get everything together......finally I can breath for a minute.

We moved back into the school district my boys had went to about 2 years ago...I had yanked my youngest out of both the elementary and intermediate school previously due to the schools not having a clue on how to deal with my youngest child, so I home schooled him. We moved into a different district about 2 years ago and that school was awesome!!! They had many different ideas and plans that worked with my youngest. We still had some issues but at least the school was cooperative.

We move back to the old district my youngest started 2 weeks ago. I'm thinking ok he's at the middle school now, so hopefully I won't have similar issues. Boy was I wrong. I should have known better.

I get a phone call last Friday from the principal, he proceeds to tell me that he has taken my child's cellphone and MP3 player from him. He then proceeds to tell me that he was walking through the cafeteria and noticed a square shape in his pocket and had him come to the office took them and gave him a verbal warning. I asked him did he have them out? was he playing with them? He said no, but he isn't allowed to have them outside of his locker during school hours. Oh really I said so he has no lock on his locker so if they are stolen the school is replacing them right? I got a no, the school is not responsible for personal property. Ok so I don't have a house phone and that is the only means of communication my child has if he has a problem after school. He didn't care. He then proceeds to tell me that he told my child he should get a haircut...REALLY.....are you F*&^ing kidding me! I told him I will be there in 15 minutes.

Now for those that don't know Jesse is ADHD, ODD, with a possible mood disorder, and socially awkward.

I went to the school had a nice little chat with the principal told him about Jesse's diagnosis and brought him the paper work on it. I then proceeded to tell him Jesse's IQ is probably higher then his, don't ever judge someone based on their appearance because you may make yourself look like an idiot.

"Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many; the intelligence of a few perceives what has been carefully hidden"~ unknownToday I withdrew him....he is now being home schooled again.


My child's hair which is actually about 2 inches shorter now then when this photo was taken.

2599

[Jess]

Good for you, Trinity! You can give your son the attention and time he needs. :)

We're fortunate enough to have an awesome school now but I used to homeschool. There is so much good info, help, programs and curriculums out. There's a really great message board that I used to go on too - it was everything homeschooling. People posted from all over the world, giving suggestions, advice, links to free stuff, ideas that had worked for them and support in general.

[ConHog]

Sorry about your child's problems, but the school didn't act incorrectly except in the area of telling him to get a haircut. You have to realize that schools SHOULD be handling everyone uniformly. Take the cell phone for example. Our school policy is that you can have them as long as they are turned off during class hours and kept inside a purse or backpack. We actually don't recommend kids keep them in their lockers because we absolutely are not responsible for lost or stolen items. Nor should we be.

As for the MP3 player, sorry you shouldn't be letting your child take an MP3 player to school. That's just poor parenting on your part, and getting mad that the school confiscated it is ridiculous. I especially wonder why you are letting a child who has a condition which affects his ability to concentrate under the best of circumstances to take an MP3 to school.

I sometimes think that all parents should have to serve one year on their local school board, some parents would really wake up.

[revelarts]

Trinity, Glad your able to give your son the individual attention he needs, not everyone can be treated uniformly (if anyone should be). Especially sense the school can't handle the negative consequences or take responsibility of the their own rules.

[cadet]

so wait... he's in middle school, and he already has a cell phone??? why in the world would he need one?

[Shadow]

so wait... he's in middle school, and he already has a cell phone??? why in the world would he need one?

Trust me they get them sooner then that now. My kids started begging for one when they were in grade school,because all their friends had them. I refused...later their dad bought them one. I just remember thinking how stupid it was for kids in 5th grade and under to have them (but they all did).

My daughter had hers confiscated once also,because it fell out of her pocket in class (She was in the 8th grade). They made it impossible for you to pick it up too..I went to go get it once I was told and was sent away by the school staff....saying it could only be picked up on mondays after school between 3:00 and 4:00. Which was BS since I had to get off work early both days...the day I went and was sent home AND the following monday (both times they were extremely rude to me too). They totally had no respect for my time or situation as single working parent.

When I finally got it back...me and the office lady about had it out (she was really bitchy). And told me "next time we won't give it back until the end of the school year". Now...I can understand a no cell phone in class policy if they are texting and messing around playing on or with the phone/Ipod/Mp3...but not when faculty abuses their authority just to be assholes when one gets dropped out of their pocket or backpack. So, I totally understand the frustration of having someone take it off your childs person just because they saw an outline in a pocket. That's just crap!

[cadet]

my main problem with all of this, is why in the world would these kids even need a cell phone in a place they can't even use them? wouldn't that just tempt them to use it?
I mean, if they really have an emergency and need to contact mom & dad (and vise versa) the school has a land line they can use.

[ConHog]

Trust me they get them sooner then that now. My kids started begging for one when they were in grade school,because all their friends had them. I refused...later their dad bought them one. I just remember thinking how stupid it was for kids in 5th grade and under to have them (but they all did).

My daughter had hers confiscated once also,because it fell out of her pocket in class (She was in the 8th grade). They made it impossible for you to pick it up too..I went to go get it once I was told and was sent away by the school staff....saying it could only be picked up on mondays after school between 3:00 and 4:00. Which was BS since I had to get off work early both days...the day I went and was sent home AND the following monday (both times they were extremely rude to me too). They totally had no respect for my time or situation as single working parent.

When I finally got it back...me and the office lady about had it out (she was really bitchy). And told me "next time we won't give it back until the end of the school year". Now...I can understand a no cell phone in class policy if they are texting and messing around playing on or with the phone/Ipod/Mp3...but not when faculty abuses their authority just to be assholes when one gets dropped out of their pocket or backpack. So, I totally understand the frustration of having someone take it off your childs person just because they saw an outline in a pocket. That's just crap!



Psst. Schools can threaten whatever they want but the reality is that they have to turn over any confiscated materials as soon as the child it was confiscated from parent or guardian asks for it. Doesn't matter if it's in the middle of the day on a Wednesday afternoon, or after school on a Monday and it doesn't matter why they took it (except of course if it's an illegal item to begin with.) If that happens again, go to the school as soon as you find out it's been confiscated and (be nice about it) ask to have the item returned, if they refuse ask to speak to the Superintendent of the school, if he refuses ask for the phone number of the school board President, if he refuses call the police and file theft charges. It won't get that far. At first the school will point out that you signed a document stating that you read the rule book and agreed that the school could confiscate your child's items until the end of the school year if they wished to and say that makes it okay, but the reality is it does not. It's called an illegal contract and schools know it, that's nothing more than a bluff. They can't keep your items any longer than until you come to retrieve them.

That being said our school policy concerning electronic devices is that you can use them in between classes (in high school of course for lower grades we have a no carry policy) because after all they are teenagers and at some point they have to be given some freedom and learn some responsibility and this is one area the school can help , if you're responsible and use it only when you're allowed to, that's fine. But if you're caught using it in class (and I mean using it not "omg your phone fell out of your purse you're suspended") The first time is usually a warning, unless it's a blatant fuck you to the learning process. And that includes a phone ringing, turn the ringer off in class; the second time is a day of in school suspension. In my time on the school board we've had one student who we had to go further with because she just refused to follow the rules and so her parents were finally notified that she was no longer allowed to even bring her cellphone to school and if it was seen on her person again she would be expelled. Of course the parents cried that we were being unfair even after being shown that she had been given chance after chance to behave the same way as the other kids and she refused. They threatened to sue, what a joke, they were told to go ahead and sue. They never did.

Of course I admit that we have worked with our teachers and administrators on using common sense when it comes to things like this.

[Thunderknuckles]

It's called an illegal contract and schools know it...
Not to derail the thread, but how are schools allowed to do this in the first place?
Any private institution caught illegally taking advantage of someone's ignorance will usually be in a heap of legal trouble.

[ConHog]

Not to derail the thread, but how are schools allowed to do this in the first place?
Any private institution caught illegally taking advantage of someone's ignorance will usually be in a heap of legal trouble.

You can write ANYTHING into a contract. It doesn't mean that contract is enforceable under the law.

For example, if a man were to have a prenup where his wife agreed that he could beat her if he felt like he deserved it, well that prenup itself isn't illegal. But you can bet that if he did beat his wife the old "she deserved it, and I have her okay to do it if she deserves it" routine wouldn't keep him out of jail. The contract wouldn't be valid.

Same principle here. It's just a big bluff and I don't know why schools threaten it. Our school rule book does not in fact say that. It used to , but we changed it several years back. And THAT is part of the reason to. Schools simply recycle their rule books from year to year, never really changing anything unless something happens and they have to.

[DragonStryk72]

Sorry about your child's problems, but the school didn't act incorrectly except in the area of telling him to get a haircut. You have to realize that schools SHOULD be handling everyone uniformly. Take the cell phone for example. Our school policy is that you can have them as long as they are turned off during class hours and kept inside a purse or backpack. We actually don't recommend kids keep them in their lockers because we absolutely are not responsible for lost or stolen items. Nor should we be.

As for the MP3 player, sorry you shouldn't be letting your child take an MP3 player to school. That's just poor parenting on your part, and getting mad that the school confiscated it is ridiculous. I especially wonder why you are letting a child who has a condition which affects his ability to concentrate under the best of circumstances to take an MP3 to school.

I sometimes think that all parents should have to serve one year on their local school board, some parents would really wake up.

Growing up, I took a walkman to school daily. Now, I never took it out during class, but I left it in my backpack, which I lugged with me everywhere, and I never once had an issue. I am ADHD, CH, and the problem is not being able to pay attention. That's the problem that people seem have understanding the issue. Oh I can pay attention, all right, to the one cloud shaped like a dragon lazily moving across the sky, to the kid next to me who keeps drumming his pencil on his desk, to that thought about my terraforming Mars project for Astronomy. I have, however, completely missed what the social studies teacher said about England in the Middle Ages. Oh well, smart enough to ace the test on my own anyway. Two weeks ago, I spent an hour and a half sitting screwing and unscrewing a crescent wrench learning how the mechanism was put together, and how it should slide. Literally, this is all I did, no music, no tv, my brain sort of locked on it, and that was it.

As another point, do you really believe that students ever stopped bringing these things to school? Of course not, they just get better at hiding them CH, so it's pretty much like barring alcohol to legal adults. All it's done is set up an underground of people doing it anyway.

Do you really believe that students don't need to learn how to work around these distractions for when they're out in the real world? I suppose you never have a cell phone or mp3/walkman on you, nor do any of your staff, so actually, the rule is not uniform, it's instead a sort of punishment for the student body against those few that don't know proper time and place. Thanks for not bothering to teach them that, I'm sure it won't bite any of them in the ass in college.

[ConHog]

Growing up, I took a walkman to school daily. Now, I never took it out during class, but I left it in my backpack, which I lugged with me everywhere, and I never once had an issue. I am ADHD, CH, and the problem is not being able to pay attention. That's the problem that people seem have understanding the issue. Oh I can pay attention, all right, to the one cloud shaped like a dragon lazily moving across the sky, to the kid next to me who keeps drumming his pencil on his desk, to that thought about my terraforming Mars project for Astronomy. I have, however, completely missed what the social studies teacher said about England in the Middle Ages. Oh well, smart enough to ace the test on my own anyway. Two weeks ago, I spent an hour and a half sitting screwing and unscrewing a crescent wrench learning how the mechanism was put together, and how it should slide. Literally, this is all I did, no music, no tv, my brain sort of locked on it, and that was it.

As another point, do you really believe that students ever stopped bringing these things to school? Of course not, they just get better at hiding them CH, so it's pretty much like barring alcohol to legal adults. All it's done is set up an underground of people doing it anyway.

Do you really believe that students don't need to learn how to work around these distractions for when they're out in the real world? I suppose you never have a cell phone or mp3/walkman on you, nor do any of your staff, so actually, the rule is not uniform, it's instead a sort of punishment for the student body against those few that don't know proper time and place. Thanks for not bothering to teach them that, I'm sure it won't bite any of them in the ass in college.

It's obvious to me that you didn't even bother to read anything I wrote in this thread because I stated that our school in fact allows high school kids to carry their electronic devices and even gasp use them between classes. Just not during class time. That is a policy that was written with me on the school board. So you shouldn't have any beef with me if you actually read what I wrote.

[DragonStryk72]

It's obvious to me that you didn't even bother to read anything I wrote in this thread because I stated that our school in fact allows high school kids to carry their electronic devices and even gasp use them between classes. Just not during class time. That is a policy that was written with me on the school board. So you shouldn't have any beef with me if you actually read what I wrote.

Excuse me, did I mistake you say it was bad parenting? What part of that did i "get wrong"?


As for the MP3 player, sorry you shouldn't be letting your child take an MP3 player to school. That's just poor parenting on your part, and getting mad that the school confiscated it is ridiculous.

Nope, still seems to read that same way. Make sure you understand what you wrote before you tell someone they didn't read it.

[ConHog]

Excuse me, did I mistake you say it was bad parenting? What part of that did i "get wrong"?



Nope, still seems to read that same way. Make sure you understand what you wrote before you tell someone they didn't read it.

Yes that is bad parenting IMO, no kid needs or should have am MP3 player at school. You're there to learn, not listen to your MP3 player. Cell phones, okay I can them being needed for emergencies.

Don't like my opinion? Too bad.

[Kathianne]

Interestingly enough, mp3 players are an effective means to help ADD kids keep focused. While they need to be off during direct instruction, for keeping focus on work and during self reading periods, it helps block out other stimuli. One of the weird things about ADD is those seriously effected are very good at dealing with multi-tasking; the big problem is completing anything. Thus the auditory stimuli seems to help with knocking out other stimuli that would take the person 'off task.'

Most special ed students are allowed to use with teachers permission at appropriate times via IEP.

[Gaffer]

As an FYI, he had the mp3 player for listening on the bus ride to and from school. That is the only time it was used. No lock on his locker meant he carried it in his pocket during school. The phone was for emergencies and was turned off and also in his pocket. The problem is not in the parenting or the child, it is in the school district.

[Trinity]

so wait... he's in middle school, and he already has a cell phone??? why in the world would he need one?


He has a cell phone because we have no land line and my husband and I both work, he needs a phone to be able to call us. We live way out in the country so neighbors are few and far between.

[Trinity]

Yes that is bad parenting IMO, no kid needs or should have am MP3 player at school. You're there to learn, not listen to your MP3 player. Cell phones, okay I can them being needed for emergencies.

Don't like my opinion? Too bad.

But hold on what about the ADHD kid who has a 45 minute bus ride one way to school, and then 45 minutes back home again. He doesn't listen to it at school.

[ConHog]

Interestingly enough, mp3 players are an effective means to help ADD kids keep focused. While they need to be off during direct instruction, for keeping focus on work and during self reading periods, it helps block out other stimuli. One of the weird things about ADD is those seriously effected are very good at dealing with multi-tasking; the big problem is completing anything. Thus the auditory stimuli seems to help with knocking out other stimuli that would take the person 'off task.'

Most special ed students are allowed to use with teachers permission at appropriate times via IEP.

IF her kid had permission to have an MP3 player at school then the school wouldn't have confiscated it. At least logic would seem to dictate that.

[cadet]

He has a cell phone because we have no land line and my husband and I both work, he needs a phone to be able to call us. We live way out in the country so neighbors are few and far between.

doesn't matter, the school has a land line, and he can call your cellphones on it. he really won't need it until an EMERGENCY. besides, if you NEEDED to get a hold of him, you could call the school. trust me, they're more then willing to call him down to the office so you can talk to him (about an EMERGENCY).

[cadet]

also, if I'm reading your post correctly, your saying that your more worried about what happens when he's home. Nobodies home with him? siblings? you guys? and in that case, i don't see why he'd need to take his cell to school, he could easily leave it at home!

[Shadow]

Psst. Schools can threaten whatever they want but the reality is that they have to turn over any confiscated materials as soon as the child it was confiscated from parent or guardian asks for it. Doesn't matter if it's in the middle of the day on a Wednesday afternoon, or after school on a Monday and it doesn't matter why they took it (except of course if it's an illegal item to begin with.) If that happens again, go to the school as soon as you find out it's been confiscated and (be nice about it) ask to have the item returned, if they refuse ask to speak to the Superintendent of the school, if he refuses ask for the phone number of the school board President, if he refuses call the police and file theft charges. It won't get that far. At first the school will point out that you signed a document stating that you read the rule book and agreed that the school could confiscate your child's items until the end of the school year if they wished to and say that makes it okay, but the reality is it does not. It's called an illegal contract and schools know it, that's nothing more than a bluff. They can't keep your items any longer than until you come to retrieve them.

That being said our school policy concerning electronic devices is that you can use them in between classes (in high school of course for lower grades we have a no carry policy) because after all they are teenagers and at some point they have to be given some freedom and learn some responsibility and this is one area the school can help , if you're responsible and use it only when you're allowed to, that's fine. But if you're caught using it in class (and I mean using it not "omg your phone fell out of your purse you're suspended") The first time is usually a warning, unless it's a blatant fuck you to the learning process. And that includes a phone ringing, turn the ringer off in class; the second time is a day of in school suspension. In my time on the school board we've had one student who we had to go further with because she just refused to follow the rules and so her parents were finally notified that she was no longer allowed to even bring her cellphone to school and if it was seen on her person again she would be expelled. Of course the parents cried that we were being unfair even after being shown that she had been given chance after chance to behave the same way as the other kids and she refused. They threatened to sue, what a joke, they were told to go ahead and sue. They never did.

Of course I admit that we have worked with our teachers and administrators on using common sense when it comes to things like this.


Good to know...because I could write a book a mile long about the school system and the BS hoops they make the parents and students jump through daily just trying to utilize the programs they supposedly offer.... from trying to enroll in summer school...to finding after school tutors...to trying to get them to answer their phone messages etc. And it only gets worse as the kids hit highschool. If I have to listen to one more whine fest from these people about being over worked and under paid blah blah blah (while employing a principle and asst principle per grade) I'm going to puke! Over worked and under paid? really?? Well Join the club!!!

[ConHog]

Good to know...because I could write a book a mile long about the school system and the BS hoops they make the parents and students jump through daily just trying to utilize the programs they supposedly offer.... from trying to enroll in summer school...to finding after school tutors...to trying to get them to answer their phone messages etc. And it only gets worse as the kids hit highschool. If I have to listen to one more whine fest from these people about being over worked and under paid blah blah blah (while employing a principle and asst principle per grade) I'm going to puke! Over worked and under paid? really?? Well Join the club!!!

So run for school board. It's a totally rewarding job. .Your teachers hate you, the administration hates you, and the parents hate you. No one ever shows up to a school board meeting to say good job or anything like that..

[cadet]

If I have to listen to one more whine fest from these people about being over worked and under paid blah blah blah (while employing a principle and asst principle per grade) I'm going to puke! Over worked and under paid? really?? Well Join the club!!!

Overworked???? really?? I hate it when these people complain about it! I got in an argument with my teacher about this, She said she had to survive on her paycheck all summer long! And it wasn't fair that her job would hardly cover it.

I kindly explained to her that she had all the vacation days she could ever want, automatic holidays off, don't forget weekends, and if she wanted paid during the summer, SHE SHOULD WORK THROUGH IT LIKE THE REST OF US!!!!! (I worked 80 hours a week during my vacation)

Needless to say, I won. :laugh2:

[Shadow]

Overworked???? really?? I hate it when these people complain about it! I got in an argument with my teacher about this, She said she had to survive on her paycheck all summer long! And it wasn't fair that her job would hardly cover it.

I kindly explained to her that she had all the vacation days she could ever want, automatic holidays off, don't forget weekends, and if she wanted paid during the summer, SHE SHOULD WORK THROUGH IT LIKE THE REST OF US!!!!! (I worked 80 hours a week during my vacation)

Needless to say, I won. :laugh2:

Yep...I've heard it multiple times from multiple school couselors,principles,teachers etc.

Two most common...

"do you understand how many students we have to deal with every day"? (this is their favorite one) Me..." and?? That IS your job".


Calling after school is out (because that is the only time they EVER answer the phone)


"I am not even supposed to be here right now talking to you...I am working on my own time right now... because we are under funded" (this little speech I think they keep on que cards...it lasts for a good 20 minutes and they ALL drag it out every time you talk to them at least once) Me..."so return my phone calls and I won't have to track you down next time". "and stop wasting MY time with your being under funded stories"

[ConHog]

Yep...I've heard it multiple times from multiple school couselors,principles,teachers etc.

Two most common...

"do you understand how many students we have to deal with every day"? (this is their favorite one) Me..." and?? That IS your job".


Calling after school is out (because that is the only time they EVER answer the phone)


"I am not even supposed to be here right now talking to you...I am working on my own time right now... because we are under funded" (this little speech I think they keep on que cards...it lasts for a good 20 minutes and they ALL drag it out every time you talk to them at least once) Me..."so return my phone calls and I won't have to track you down next time". "and stop wasting MY time with your being under funded stories"

Sounds like you really need to go to a school board meeting and raise your concerns. If you have an appointment to discuss your child with their teachers then that teacher needs to shut up about their bitches and discuss your concerns. And I better not ever hear about one of my teachers whining to a parent about pay and such, or to a student. Unless the discussion is about that subject to begin with.

[KitchenKitten99]

Interestingly enough, mp3 players are an effective means to help ADD kids keep focused. While they need to be off during direct instruction, for keeping focus on work and during self reading periods, it helps block out other stimuli. One of the weird things about ADD is those seriously effected are very good at dealing with multi-tasking; the big problem is completing anything. Thus the auditory stimuli seems to help with knocking out other stimuli that would take the person 'off task.'

Most special ed students are allowed to use with teachers permission at appropriate times via IEP.

Both my husband and myself have ADD. He is more-so than I am, as I can't 'juggle' as many tasks as he can. However it serves us both well in our careers. You just have to know how to use what most people view as a disability, and take that positive spin on it, and learn how to use it, when to use it, and know your limits as to what you can handle. Sometimes it may take breaking a task down into manageable parts.

He is good with numbers and is a Project Management consultant for Fortune 500 companies. He makes ~$70/hour. He is right now on a 1-year contract with a major financial services company. He excels at this particular job because it requires a fine-tuned ability to multi-task.

Same with my career in working in the restaurant/hospitality industry. Dinner rushes on Friday and Saturday nights when orders are pouring in are not for those who cannot multi-task.

In terms of finishing/completing anything, setting reasonable goals and utilizing schedules and task lists are a huge help for both of us.

I don't leave our cigar shop without my calendar and tasks for the next day. I can do them in any order I wish, as long as I get them all done. If I don't do this, I will consistently forget one or two things.