Time for Some Male Bashing

[abso]

Time for some male bashing..... (For a change)...


Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

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Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...

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Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

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Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.....

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Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.

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Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.

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Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business

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Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions .

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Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...

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Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.
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Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!

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Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

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[red states rule]

How to start a fight with the wife (or girlfriend)



My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels..

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust!'

And then the fight started...

================================================== =======

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

[Gunny]

How to start a fight with the wife (or girlfriend)



My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels..

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust!'

And then the fight started...

================================================== =======

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

:laugh:

[cadet]

Time for some male bashing..... (For a change)...


Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

*************

The faster you grow up, the faster you get old. (boring)
Something grandad taught me, he still acts like a twelve year old, BUT HE HAS FUN!!!! :laugh:

[Noir]

How shocking that YOU would start a thread degrading men.


I would NEVER compare a man to a puppy.

You pig.

[red states rule]

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability allowance, too.'

And then the fight started...

[logroller]

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability allowance, too.'

And then the fight started...

:clap::LMAO:

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
And then the fight started…

[red states rule]

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started.




A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.<O:p</O:p

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." <O:p</O:p

And then the fight started.<O:p</O:p