A Lawyer

[abso]

A Lawyer


One afternoon a Lawyer was driving home when he saw a man eating grass by the side of the road

"Why are doing that?" the lawyer asked.

"I don't have any money for food"'the man replied.

"Oh,then you must come with me".

"But,Sir,I have a wife and five children."

"They are all welcome".


So the family got in the lawyer's car and he sped off towards his mansion.

"you're so kind to help so many people"'the wife gushed during the journey.

"It's fine". said the lawyer. "I haven't cut my grass in weeks".

[red states rule]

Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer

He tells you that his last good case was a Budweiser.

When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

He tells you that he has never told a lie.

A big sign in his office says: "Don't ask me."

A prison guard is shaving your head.

[logroller]

I despise lawyers...except for mine.:coffee:

[revelarts]

In Practicing trial law in court before a jury a lawyer has 3 choices in his approach.

If the law is on his side he pounds on the Law.
If the evidence is on his side he pounds on the Evidence
If neither the law or the evidence is on his side he pounds on the table.

[red states rule]

A Christmas card from an attorney




From us ("the wishors") to you ("hereinafter called the wishee"):

Please accept without obligation, explicit or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions.

Please also accept, under aforesaid waiver of obligation on your part, our best wishes for a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of this calendar year of the Common Era, but with due respect for the calendars of all cultures or sects, and for the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you acknowledge that:

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal at the wishor's discretion.
This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.

This greeting implies no warranty on the part of the wishors to fulfill these wishes, nor any ability of the wishors to do so, merely a beneficent hope on the part of the wishors that they in fact occur.

This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishors.

This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.

Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Saviour", or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

Sincerely,
Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe
Attorneys at Law


http://www.dogchurch.org/restroom/lawyerxmas.html

[red states rule]

I despise lawyers...except for mine.:coffee:

Is this your law firm?

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/511Ov2Fi3oL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

[revelarts]

Ambulance Chaser Commercials are outrageous but frankly sometimes funny
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but this guy ,a bad marriage chaser, is a bit pass chessy and low to just kinda wrong.
<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px">


<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/y1Qk6QPzuIc?version=3&feature=player_detailpage" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="360" width="640"></object>

[red states rule]

What attorney ads should be like


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