Beltway Adventure!

[Kathianne]

LOL! Read the whole thing:

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2010/10/beltway-adventure.html


BELTWAY ADVENTURE

WELCOME TO ADVENTURE! WOULD YOU LIKE INSTRUCTIONS?

>YES

YOU ARE SOMEWHERE IN BELTWAY FOREST, WHERE SOME HAVE FOUND TREASURES OF GOLD ALTHOUGH SOME HAVE ENTERED AND NEVER BEEN SEEN AGAIN. MAGIC IS SAID TO WORK IN THE FOREST. I WILL BE YOUR EYES AND HANDS. DIRECT ME WITH SIMPLE COMMANDS.

YOU ARE IN AN OVAL OFFICE. THERE IS SNOW OUTSIDE. YOU ARE BEHIND A DESK. ON DESK THERE IS A BUST OF CHURCHILL.

YOU HAVE A CONGRESS.

YOU HAVE A SENATE.

YOU HAVE A MEDIA.

YOU HAVE A TELEPROMPTER.

YOU HAVE A MILITARY.

YOU HAVE A BIG JET.

YOU HAVE $3 TRILLION OF GOLD.

YOU HAVE 82% APPROVAL HEALTH.

THERE IS 7.2% UNEMPLOYMENT IN THE FOREST.

YOU HAVE A RACE CARD.

YOU HAVE INAUGURAL PARTY LEFTOVERS.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>EAT LEFTOVERS

>RETURN BUST

YOU ARE IN AN OVAL OFFICE. YOU ARE BEHIND A DESK. ON DESK THERE IS NO BUST OF CHURCHILL. THERE ARE NO MORE LEFTOVERS. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>GIVE SPEECH...

[Missileman]

LOL! Read the whole thing:

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2010/10/beltway-adventure.html

:lol:

[Kathianne]

:lol:

It cracked me up, actually I'm laughing all over again?


...YOU ARE ON A GOLF GREEN. YOU ARE STANDING NEXT TO A GOLF CART. ON THE GOLF CART IS A SUITCASE WITH A RED PHONE. THE PHONE RINGS. IT IS CONGRESS. THEY ARE EVEN MORE SCARED OF PEASANTS, WHO ARE EVEN MORE PISSED OFF. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>CALM CONGRESS

HOW?

>TELL TO WORK ON CAP AND TRADE

YOU SEEMS TO BE HAVING PROBLEMS. WOULD YOU LIKE HELP?

>Y

ENTER YOUR HELPERS SEPARATED BY COMMAS.

>MSNBC, NYT, ACORN, SEIU, MOVE ON, NETROOTS, SOROS

ARE YOU SURE?

>Y

SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU SURE?

>Y

I'M NOT TRYING TO TELL YOU HOW TO PLAY THE ADVENTURE, BUT I'M NOT SURE THAT REALLY QUALIFIES AS "HELP." ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE?

>Y

OKAY, YOU'RE THE BOSS. PLEASE ENTER THE NUMBER OF PUFF PIECES YOU WANT.

>180

PLEASE ENTER THE NUMBER OF ATTACK PIECES YOU WANT.

>5276

ATTACK PIECES HAVE BACKFIRED. MEDIA IS AT 0% HEALTH. ACORN IS AT 0% HEALTH. CONGRESS IS AT 7% HEALTH. THERE ARE A LOT MORE PEASANTS OUT THERE THAN YOU THOUGHT. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>BLAME BUSH

THAT DOES NOT WORK ANYMORE.

>BLAME BANKS

THAT DOES NOT WORK ANYMORE.

>BLAME PALIN

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A DISTRACTION?

>Y

I'M SORRY, THE PEASANTS ARE NOT EASILY DISTRACTED. YOU ARE IN AN OVAL OFFICE. YOU ARE BEHIND A DESK. YOU HAVE LOST RAHM. PEASANTS ARE LOSING THEIR HEALTH CARE. PEASANTS ARE MARCHING ON THE BELTWAY. THERE IS 9.6% UNEMPLOYMENT IN THE FOREST. YOUR APPROVAL HEALTH IS 42%. YOUR CONGRESS HAS 1.3% HEALTH. YOUR CONGRESS WILL NOT RETURN YOUR CALLS. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>TURN LEFT

EXCUSE ME?

>TURN LEFT

WHOA. FOR A MINUTE THERE I THOUGHT YOU TYPED 'TURN LEFT'.

>I DID! TURN LEFT

UMM, ANY PARTICULAR REASON?

>ENERGIZE BASE

BY "BASE", DO YOU MEAN THAT REPULSIVE COLLECTION OF SNIDE FUCKWIT URBAN HIPSTER TWATS?

>Y

....

[NightTrain]

>ENERGIZE BASE

BY "BASE", DO YOU MEAN THAT REPULSIVE COLLECTION OF SNIDE FUCKWIT URBAN HIPSTER TWATS?

>Y

:laugh2::laugh2::laugh2:

That's just awesome! I immediately thought of Bully and Gabby when I read that.