Trinity
05-02-2010, 06:48 PM
Thought you all would like an update on my "will be" 14 year old tomorrow..........
He is still currently residing with his father. He tells me he likes living there and that everything is good.
Now comes the issues;
Issue#1 I have not seen him regularly, not a big deal cause I do talk to him on the phone all the time and he would rather hang out with his friends then his mom go figure. And my youngest has not seen his dad in months (not from my lack of trying) but because he hates him and doesn't want to see him ( at least that's what he tells me), he hasn't even talked to him on the phone cause my ex never calls to talk to him.
Issue#2 The agreement was when he got custody of my oldest he would continue giving me the same amount of child support that is also what he stated to the judge. Which was 200.00 through child support and 300.00 he would give me personally each month to take care of my youngest. Funny thing is I found out when they calculated child support I should have been receiving 700.00 a month for both boy's and not the 500.00 that we had agreed on, so I had cut him some slack there.
I even cut him some slack on when he took custody of my oldest he should have still been giving me at that time 400.00 a month in child support but we had agreed that he would continue with the 500.00 a month because he should have been giving me 700.00 a month for the two years prior.
However the following month which was December I get a phone call from him telling me his employer is laying him off one week a month and they have worked out some type of furrow thing with unemployment. So he is no longer going to be able to give me the amount he was giving me previously he was going to have to cut it in half
Then he changed it to only giving me 150.00 a month himself and then 200.00 through child support. I cut him some slack there to because of the laid off one week a month fur-low thing ok fine whatever.
Now we have always met somewhere half way between both houses for him to give me child support. This past weekend I tried to contact him and left him a message to contact me so we could make arrangements to meet up. He never called. I called and spoke with my oldest and after talking to him about school and him going to high school next year I asked to speak with his dad his dad gets on the phone and I asked if he had checked his messages cause I wanted to find out what was a good time to meet up and get the child support? He proceeds to start screaming at me and telling me I know where he lives and if i want it to come and get it. I said I am not driving all the way to your house to get it. He said oh well if you want it you'll come get it. Then he hung up on me.
I didn't bother calling him back. About 15 minutes later he then starts calling my phone I ignored it and let it go to voice mail I'm not arguing with him. He leaves one message that says I apologize for snapping at you I had just woke up call me back.
I called him back 20 minutes later and he proceeds to tell me how he has done so much for these boy's and how my father and my husband need to get better jobs or second jobs because he can't afford to keep giving me money all the time......That's when i said WHOA the child support you pay is for our youngest child he is not my current husbands nor my father's responsibility he is our responsibility.
Then he says well since our oldest has come to live with him he has additional expenses now that he didn't have before. I said welcome to parenting. He then proceeds to tell me the additional expenses he has to pay 22.00 a week for our oldest child's school lunches. I said Are you serious? How much did you make last year? He told me and I said well my husband and I made about half of that funny thing is we had no problem taking care of two boys with half your income whats your excuse?
So I am done being nice and cutting him breaks. I know at this point I am entitled to 521.00 a month in child support from him for our youngest child whether he is on fur-low or not, so since he wants to play games and not give me what we had originally agreed on, and then start giving me crap about the 150.00 he was giving me.
I am done playing I am filing to have child support raised. The only reason it was not all going through the system previously is because child support takes there sweet time adding it to my card, there have been times when I didn't get it until a month later. But he has now proven that he has become untrustworthy so I have no choice.
Issue#3 Two weeks ago when I called my ex about child support he was drunk it was around 8pm. Me being concerned for my son called my son to make sure he was at home and not out somewhere with his dad (yes his father still drinks and drives he admitted it to me last night he goes out two times a week; wed and Friday) When I called the house (because I had spoke to me ex on his cell phone) my ex answered I asked if my oldest was there and he said yeah hold on he hands my oldest the phone and i hear him say she's just calling cause she thinks I'm drunk (I didn't think I knew I had been around the man for 15 years) so I asked my son did your father just say I was calling because I think he's drunk? He said no. ( ok fine I'm not putting my child in this it does not concern him) I Then continued to talk to my oldest and we were discussing his school and friends and what he had been doing and if he was playing sports next year then i hear my ex in the background saying tell your mom I can't give her child support this week cause I have additional expenses now since your living here I have to pay 22.00 a week for your lunches. I asked my oldest again did your dad just say to tell me he had additional expenses so he couldn't pay child support? My son says no ( ok and again I am not putting him in the middle of it so i let it drop) we finished our conversations and got off the phone.
After we got off the phone I called my ex and left him a message on his phone about I did not appreciate him putting our child into the middle of our issues that it is not our child's business and does not concern him and if he has an issue with me he needs to speak with me about it and not involve our child.
Now I am debating on whether or not to file for custody of my oldest as well? I am going to hold off on that decision until after next weekend he is coming to stay for the weekend and I am going to have a serious conversation with him with out his fathers influence on him.
EDIT
Oh forgot to add.......... I asked my son if he had been to the dentist or Dr recently? He told me no. He said why do i need to go to the Dr? I told him because you are growing and you are supposed to be getting a physical once a year and you are due. I also told him he was supposed to go to the dentist back in February to have an X ray done to make sure they removed all of that cyst he had removed. His father has not taken him for that yet either.
He is still currently residing with his father. He tells me he likes living there and that everything is good.
Now comes the issues;
Issue#1 I have not seen him regularly, not a big deal cause I do talk to him on the phone all the time and he would rather hang out with his friends then his mom go figure. And my youngest has not seen his dad in months (not from my lack of trying) but because he hates him and doesn't want to see him ( at least that's what he tells me), he hasn't even talked to him on the phone cause my ex never calls to talk to him.
Issue#2 The agreement was when he got custody of my oldest he would continue giving me the same amount of child support that is also what he stated to the judge. Which was 200.00 through child support and 300.00 he would give me personally each month to take care of my youngest. Funny thing is I found out when they calculated child support I should have been receiving 700.00 a month for both boy's and not the 500.00 that we had agreed on, so I had cut him some slack there.
I even cut him some slack on when he took custody of my oldest he should have still been giving me at that time 400.00 a month in child support but we had agreed that he would continue with the 500.00 a month because he should have been giving me 700.00 a month for the two years prior.
However the following month which was December I get a phone call from him telling me his employer is laying him off one week a month and they have worked out some type of furrow thing with unemployment. So he is no longer going to be able to give me the amount he was giving me previously he was going to have to cut it in half
Then he changed it to only giving me 150.00 a month himself and then 200.00 through child support. I cut him some slack there to because of the laid off one week a month fur-low thing ok fine whatever.
Now we have always met somewhere half way between both houses for him to give me child support. This past weekend I tried to contact him and left him a message to contact me so we could make arrangements to meet up. He never called. I called and spoke with my oldest and after talking to him about school and him going to high school next year I asked to speak with his dad his dad gets on the phone and I asked if he had checked his messages cause I wanted to find out what was a good time to meet up and get the child support? He proceeds to start screaming at me and telling me I know where he lives and if i want it to come and get it. I said I am not driving all the way to your house to get it. He said oh well if you want it you'll come get it. Then he hung up on me.
I didn't bother calling him back. About 15 minutes later he then starts calling my phone I ignored it and let it go to voice mail I'm not arguing with him. He leaves one message that says I apologize for snapping at you I had just woke up call me back.
I called him back 20 minutes later and he proceeds to tell me how he has done so much for these boy's and how my father and my husband need to get better jobs or second jobs because he can't afford to keep giving me money all the time......That's when i said WHOA the child support you pay is for our youngest child he is not my current husbands nor my father's responsibility he is our responsibility.
Then he says well since our oldest has come to live with him he has additional expenses now that he didn't have before. I said welcome to parenting. He then proceeds to tell me the additional expenses he has to pay 22.00 a week for our oldest child's school lunches. I said Are you serious? How much did you make last year? He told me and I said well my husband and I made about half of that funny thing is we had no problem taking care of two boys with half your income whats your excuse?
So I am done being nice and cutting him breaks. I know at this point I am entitled to 521.00 a month in child support from him for our youngest child whether he is on fur-low or not, so since he wants to play games and not give me what we had originally agreed on, and then start giving me crap about the 150.00 he was giving me.
I am done playing I am filing to have child support raised. The only reason it was not all going through the system previously is because child support takes there sweet time adding it to my card, there have been times when I didn't get it until a month later. But he has now proven that he has become untrustworthy so I have no choice.
Issue#3 Two weeks ago when I called my ex about child support he was drunk it was around 8pm. Me being concerned for my son called my son to make sure he was at home and not out somewhere with his dad (yes his father still drinks and drives he admitted it to me last night he goes out two times a week; wed and Friday) When I called the house (because I had spoke to me ex on his cell phone) my ex answered I asked if my oldest was there and he said yeah hold on he hands my oldest the phone and i hear him say she's just calling cause she thinks I'm drunk (I didn't think I knew I had been around the man for 15 years) so I asked my son did your father just say I was calling because I think he's drunk? He said no. ( ok fine I'm not putting my child in this it does not concern him) I Then continued to talk to my oldest and we were discussing his school and friends and what he had been doing and if he was playing sports next year then i hear my ex in the background saying tell your mom I can't give her child support this week cause I have additional expenses now since your living here I have to pay 22.00 a week for your lunches. I asked my oldest again did your dad just say to tell me he had additional expenses so he couldn't pay child support? My son says no ( ok and again I am not putting him in the middle of it so i let it drop) we finished our conversations and got off the phone.
After we got off the phone I called my ex and left him a message on his phone about I did not appreciate him putting our child into the middle of our issues that it is not our child's business and does not concern him and if he has an issue with me he needs to speak with me about it and not involve our child.
Now I am debating on whether or not to file for custody of my oldest as well? I am going to hold off on that decision until after next weekend he is coming to stay for the weekend and I am going to have a serious conversation with him with out his fathers influence on him.
EDIT
Oh forgot to add.......... I asked my son if he had been to the dentist or Dr recently? He told me no. He said why do i need to go to the Dr? I told him because you are growing and you are supposed to be getting a physical once a year and you are due. I also told him he was supposed to go to the dentist back in February to have an X ray done to make sure they removed all of that cyst he had removed. His father has not taken him for that yet either.