Answer to Hog's question re PTSD catalyst

[SassyLady]

I don't mind answering at all Hog.

The catalyst was a step father who molested myself and my younger siblings (brothers also). It started when I was eight and stopped when I was 13 (he went to jail because I turned him in). He would sneak into our room at night and this caused me to developed hypervigilance. In my 40's I had a breakdown after a miscarriage and everything came crashing down....I went into therapy and over the next ten years tried all kinds of antidepressants (all the ones that Jim listed that he's tried also and never worked) and they labeled what I had as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). The stress being the long-term abuse.

I also joined group therapy which was made up of abusers and survivors. And, I sat on panels and talked about the effects of incest with different medical personnel (mostly med students).

None of the drugs helped (had too many side effects) so I quit all of them and one of my doctors suggested Ambien .........I can remember the first night I took one. It was the first time in my life that I was completely unaware of time passing. It was like having surgery ..... closing my eyes and it was 10:00 and opening them and it was now 6:00............and not once did I remember looking at the clock .......... all my life I've dozed for just a couple of minutes at a time.

It's amazing how a good night's sleep on a consistent basis can help my general outlook on life. Has my hypervigilance diminished because of the Ambien - no, it hasn't.......because if I don't take the Ambien I will still not fall asleep. When I drive 1000 miles to Tucson I just don't take my ambien and I can drive all night.

PS - I consider myself lucky - I just developed PTSD.........I have a brother who became a murderer (in prison for killing three women) and I won't bore you with the rest of the shocking stuff the rest of my family has endured because of his abuse. Let's just say his legacy laster much longer than the time he abused us or the time of his punishment.

So - for people who think PTSD is just returning war veterans, think again.

[HogTrash]

You're apparently a strong and remarkable person to survive such a terrifying and horrible experience.

Hopefully someday you will be able to put this behind you but for now you are in my prayers Princess.

[SassyLady]

You're apparently a strong and remarkable person to survive such a terrifying and horrible experience.

Hopefully someday you will be able to put this behind you but for now you are in my prayers Princess.

Thank you Hog....and yes, I am a very strong person.....I restrained myself from killing the man and let go of the hate a long time ago....but my body still retains the survival instincts thus the PTSD. I consider it one of the elements that makes me who I am and continues to help me cope with each day.

And I never turn down prayers.

[Binky]

I don't mind answering at all Hog.

The catalyst was a step father who molested myself and my younger siblings (brothers also). It started when I was eight and stopped when I was 13 (he went to jail because I turned him in). He would sneak into our room at night and this caused me to developed hypervigilance. In my 40's I had a breakdown after a miscarriage and everything came crashing down....I went into therapy and over the next ten years tried all kinds of antidepressants (all the ones that Jim listed that he's tried also and never worked) and they labeled what I had as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). The stress being the long-term abuse.

I also joined group therapy which was made up of abusers and survivors. And, I sat on panels and talked about the effects of incest with different medical personnel (mostly med students).

None of the drugs helped (had too many side effects) so I quit all of them and one of my doctors suggested Ambien .........I can remember the first night I took one. It was the first time in my life that I was completely unaware of time passing. It was like having surgery ..... closing my eyes and it was 10:00 and opening them and it was now 6:00............and not once did I remember looking at the clock .......... all my life I've dozed for just a couple of minutes at a time.

It's amazing how a good night's sleep on a consistent basis can help my general outlook on life. Has my hypervigilance diminished because of the Ambien - no, it hasn't.......because if I don't take the Ambien I will still not fall asleep. When I drive 1000 miles to Tucson I just don't take my ambien and I can drive all night.

PS - I consider myself lucky - I just developed PTSD.........I have a brother who became a murderer (in prison for killing three women) and I won't bore you with the rest of the shocking stuff the rest of my family has endured because of his abuse. Let's just say his legacy laster much longer than the time he abused us or the time of his punishment.

So - for people who think PTSD is just returning war veterans, think again.



It is a heartbreaker to know that there are those in this world that prey on others.... I am saddened that you and your sibs have had to endure what you did and because of it, a brother had acted out of rage and committed the crimes he did....

We all have our crosses to bear, some just aren't as horrendous as others.... None of us escapes this life without negative things landing on us....

God made you a strong person knowing you would need that strength to pull you thru.....I admire you for being able to speak up about it and to move on...... You are in my thoughts and prayers.....

[chloe]

Sorry to hear about your step dad molesting you, I guess he was a classic pedaphile and molested you and your brothers, I thought Incest was when its actually your biological blood related father. At any rate sounds like you healed yourself and went on to live a productive life, had kids a good marriage, grand kids and even donate your time helping others. So My prayers are with you and blessings to you and your family.:salute:

[Abbey Marie]

Didn't I tell you MKP is an amazing woman?


http://www.zulva.com/images/hug/images/hugs-you.gif

[SassyLady]

Sorry to hear about your step dad molesting you, I guess he was a classic pedaphile and molested you and your brothers, I thought Incest was when its actually your biological blood related father. At any rate sounds like you healed yourself and went on to live a productive life, had kids a good marriage, grand kids and even donate your time helping others. So My prayers are with you and blessings to you and your family.:salute:

Wiki:


Incest is any sexual activity between close relatives (often within the immediate family) irrespective of the ages of the participants and irrespective of their consent, that is illegal, socially taboo or contrary to a religious norm. The type of sexual activity and the nature of the relationship between persons that constitutes a breach of law or social taboo vary with culture and jurisdiction. Some societies consider it to include only those who live in the same household, or who belong to the same clan or lineage; other societies consider it to include "blood relatives"; other societies further include those related by adoption or marriage.

According to some studies, the most frequently reported type of incest is father-daughter incest. However, others studies suggest that sibling incest occurs as often, or more often, than other types of incest. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is considered a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma, a trauma that often does serious and long-term psychological damage, especially in the case of parental incest. Prevalence is difficult to generalize, but research has estimated 10-15% of the general population as having at least one incest experience, with less than 2% involving intercourse or attempted intercourse. Among women, research has yielded estimates as high as twenty percent.

In my opinion, the people perpetrating this type of trauma on their children are the worst terrorists in the world.

[chloe]

I consider incest to be between blood/genetically related relatives and anything outside of that is molesation. I guess people can define it anyway they want to.

[Abbey Marie]

When someone is in the role of parent and forcing themselves on their child sexually, does it really matter if they are blood or not? I think it fits the dark ugly spirit of incest either way.

[SassyLady]

I consider incest to be between blood/genetically related relatives and anything outside of that is molesation. I guess people can define it anyway they want to.

that would be like saying an adoptive father, who is not blood related, would be in the category of molestation and not incest. To a child, a parental figure is a parental figure because of how they configure in the family ..... has nothing to do with blood.

Each person/society can decide at what level they consider it to be incest vs. molestation.........


Some societies consider it to include only those who live in the same household, or who belong to the same clan or lineage; other societies consider it to include "blood relatives"; other societies further include those related by adoption or marriage.

To me it was the worst type of betrayal.

[Abbey Marie]

MKP, we just said about the same thing, separately. :beer:

[chloe]

that would be like saying an adoptive father, who is not blood related, would be in the category of molestation and not incest. To a child, a parental figure is a parental figure because of how they configure in the family ..... has nothing to do with blood.

Each person/society can decide at what level they consider it to be incest vs. molestation.........



To me it was the worst type of betrayal.

I'm entitled to my opinion:cool:

[SassyLady]

MKP, we just said about the same thing, separately. :beer:

Guess we feel pretty much the same way on this - it's something that I can get pretty passionate about without too much prodding.

I actually hated my mom more than my stepfather......but that's a whole different story.

[SassyLady]

I'm entitled to my opinion:cool:

of course you are Chloe -

to me it felt like incest because he was the only male role model in the house and he taught me to distrust men, regardless of their relationship with me

[chloe]

of course you are Chloe -

to me it felt like incest because he was the only male role model in the house and he taught me to distrust men, regardless of their relationship with me

I understand but maybe it is because you were molested by an authority figure who played a role in being your father and you should have been allowed to feel safe and instead you were violated. Many adults who were molested feel distrust in initimate relationships. The egyptian culture specifically engaged in inbreeding and genetic molestation. There is a group online that discusses incest and genetic sexual attraction. They claim that the perpetraitor is attracted to the family physical traits shared genetically. So that is why I distinguished the difference.

I try to look at some things through other’s eyes. But there are strong taboos against such ideas as incest or sexual relations with family members. Yet, some cultures supported incest, such as the ancient Egyptians who kept their royal bloodline within the family, brother marrying sister and even the gods practiced incest. But then many gods did, such as the Greek and Roman ones, keeping divine within the group and then spreading it amongst select mortals.
The physiological problems of incest is of course inbreeding. But more, this program talked about a genetic attraction, which was stated as a normal thing. I did not hear all of the program but I question “normal.” What is normal is that most humans have a range of thoughts that can encompass taboo subjects, such as murder, suicide, indulgences, crimes, incest. What is not as normal is that most people do not act upon taboo thoughts.
There is a GSA site, http://www.geneticsexualattraction.com/ (http://www.geneticsexualattraction.com/) which is supposed to be a support group for people in this situation. It stringently says this is for biologically related people who are mutually attracted where there was no “power over” (my quotes, not theirs) the other. Barbara Gonyo, who started the site, states that it is support on a subject that to most is:
1. misunderstood
2. shocking
3. to some unbelievable
4. taboo to society.

http://colleenanderson.wordpress.com/2009/05/07/incest-betrayal-and-genetic-sexual-attraction/

[SassyLady]

I understand but maybe it is because you were molested by an authority figure who played a role in being your father and you should have been allowed to feel safe and instead you were violated. Many adults who were molested feel distrust in initimate relationships. The egyptian culture specifically engaged in inbreeding and genetic molestation. There is a group online that discusses incest and genetic sexual attraction. They claim that the perpetraitor is attracted to the family physical traits shared genetically. So that is why I distinguished the difference.

I try to look at some things through other’s eyes. But there are strong taboos against such ideas as incest or sexual relations with family members. Yet, some cultures supported incest, such as the ancient Egyptians who kept their royal bloodline within the family, brother marrying sister and even the gods practiced incest. But then many gods did, such as the Greek and Roman ones, keeping divine within the group and then spreading it amongst select mortals.
The physiological problems of incest is of course inbreeding. But more, this program talked about a genetic attraction, which was stated as a normal thing. I did not hear all of the program but I question “normal.” What is normal is that most humans have a range of thoughts that can encompass taboo subjects, such as murder, suicide, indulgences, crimes, incest. What is not as normal is that most people do not act upon taboo thoughts.
There is a GSA site, http://www.geneticsexualattraction.com/ (http://www.geneticsexualattraction.com/) which is supposed to be a support group for people in this situation. It stringently says this is for biologically related people who are mutually attracted where there was no “power over” (my quotes, not theirs) the other. Barbara Gonyo, who started the site, states that it is support on a subject that to most is:
1. misunderstood
2. shocking
3. to some unbelievable
4. taboo to society.

http://colleenanderson.wordpress.com/2009/05/07/incest-betrayal-and-genetic-sexual-attraction/


I am speechless

[chloe]

I am speechless

There is alot of sick people in the world that's for sure.

[chloe]

I don't think molesters can be reformed, I think they deserve the death penalty once convicted. The only reason I brought up the difference is because I have noticed that when someone has been molested that they seem to be devastated but able to heal, yet I know someone close to me who experienced being molested by their genetic father and one of the main differences I notice in incestual molestation is the blood relative seems to want to continue the relationship throughout the kids life even when they grow up, whereas other types of molesters have a certain age type or age group preference and don't limit their sexual mental illness to their children only. Genetic Molesters tend to molest only their own family for the most part and so the particular family member continues to be perpetrated all their life unless they are strong enough to get away from that psychotic. I wasn't in anyway explaining it as ok I was just noticing differences in people I know who had different experiences. I wish all molesters would die.

[SassyLady]

I don't think molesters can be reformed, I think they deserve the death penalty once convicted. The only reason I brought up the difference is because I have noticed that when someone has been molested that they seem to be devastated but able to heal, yet I know someone close to me who experienced being molested by their genetic father and one of the main differences I notice in incestual molestation is the blood relative seems to want to continue the relationship throughout the kids life even when they grow up, whereas other types of molesters have a certain age type or age group preference and don't limit their sexual mental illness to their children only. Genetic Molesters tend to molest only their own family for the most part and so the particular family member continues to be perpetrated all their life unless they are strong enough to get away from that psychotic. I wasn't in anyway explaining it as ok I was just noticing differences in people I know who had different experiences. I wish all molesters would die.


In group therapy I would listen to fathers talk about how their little 4-5 year old daughter would get out of the bath tub with their towel wrapped around them and come in the livingroom and do a dance to entice them ..... so, therefore, it wasn't their fault - it was the child's fault for teasing them.

SICK

That litte girl is just happy and dancing and feeling good about life - she's not old enough to "tease for sexual gratification"..............people like this should be executed, not put in group therapy.

[chloe]

In group therapy I would listen to fathers talk about how their little 4-5 year old daughter would get out of the bath tub with their towel wrapped around them and come in the livingroom and do a dance to entice them ..... so, therefore, it wasn't their fault - it was the child's fault for teasing them.

SICK

That litte girl is just happy and dancing and feeling good about life - she's not old enough to "tease for sexual gratification"..............people like this should be executed, not put in group therapy.

You won't get any argument from me on that. Have you that movie hard candy>?

[SassyLady]

You won't get any argument from me on that. Have you that movie hard candy>?

No......never heard of it.

[chloe]

No......never heard of it.

well I posted it in the movie section a while back you can watch it online free. Its about a 14 yr old girl who meets an older man on the net and then he thinks he is going to have sex with her, but it turns very dark quickly. My favorite scene is the castration scene where she asks him if he wants his balls for a souvenir:laugh2:

[SassyLady]

well I posted it in the movie section a while back you can watch it online free. Its about a 14 yr old girl who meets an older man on the net and then he thinks he is going to have sex with her, but it turns very dark quickly. My favorite scene is the castration scene where she asks him if he wants his balls for a souvenir:laugh2:

So, did she set him up because she had a prior experience with an "older man"..........hopefully she went back and exacted revenge on him also.

I spent many years day dreaming about how I would kill my stepfather........but he died before I had a chance.

[chloe]

So, did she set him up because she had a prior experience with an "older man"..........hopefully she went back and exacted revenge on him also.

I spent many years day dreaming about how I would kill my stepfather........but he died before I had a chance.

Oh God she tortured him literally. I LOVED it !!!!!!!!!!:laugh2:

[chloe]

So, did she set him up because she had a prior experience with an "older man"..........hopefully she went back and exacted revenge on him also.

I spent many years day dreaming about how I would kill my stepfather........but he died before I had a chance.

No she went after him because he was a pedaphile that exchanged pictures of naked children online with someone and he teamed up with a guy and they had kidnapped a girl and killed her. She was connected to the girl they had kidnapped.

[chloe]

It is a heartbreaker to know that there are those in this world that prey on others.... I am saddened that you and your sibs have had to endure what you did and because of it, a brother had acted out of rage and committed the crimes he did....

We all have our crosses to bear, some just aren't as horrendous as others.... None of us escapes this life without negative things landing on us....

God made you a strong person knowing you would need that strength to pull you thru.....I admire you for being able to speak up about it and to move on...... You are in my thoughts and prayers.....

Ain't that the truth !

[HogTrash]

In group therapy I would listen to fathers talk about how their little 4-5 year old daughter would get out of the bath tub with their towel wrapped around them and come in the livingroom and do a dance to entice them ..... so, therefore, it wasn't their fault - it was the child's fault for teasing them.

SICK

That litte girl is just happy and dancing and feeling good about life - she's not old enough to "tease for sexual gratification"..............people like this should be executed, not put in group therapy.I am sexually attracted to women...No amount of therapy, drugs or prison time could change that...This is the same for anyone who has a sexual attraction for children.

There is no alternative but to sentance a convicted child molester to death in the best interests of children to ensure that no more will be assaulted by the known offender.

[crin63]

In group therapy I would listen to fathers talk about how their little 4-5 year old daughter would get out of the bath tub with their towel wrapped around them and come in the livingroom and do a dance to entice them ..... so, therefore, it wasn't their fault - it was the child's fault for teasing them.

SICK

That litte girl is just happy and dancing and feeling good about life - she's not old enough to "tease for sexual gratification"..............people like this should be executed, not put in group therapy.

I am very sorry you had to endure what no child should ever have to endure. What a horrific breach in trust. I could not respond to this thread when I 1st read it because I was angry beyond words. I can barely tolerate being in the same room as a deadbeat dad, as I want to reach out crush their face for what they put their children through. I would snap in the presence of a child molester. A quick death is too good for them.

I could not not have listened to a person talk like that in front of me. I would've snapped and started beating the crap out of them.

[SassyLady]

I agree with you HogTrash and Crin - however, it was therapuetic for those of us who had been molested to confront these sick people and let them know exactly how we felt about their perversions. Unfortunately, one of the rules of the group was that no one could get out of their seats for any reason and it was hard to sit there and NOT get up and beat them to death.

[SassyLady]

I actually had a harder time with the significant others of these perverts who came to show support for them..........and we were able to confront them also .... about how they were enabling these perverts to do what they do by justifying their actions.

By the time I was doing these meetings my stepfather was dead, but I did have a chance to confront my mom about her part in all of it. That was the final healing part of the whole process. What she did, and didn't do, created most of the emotional trauma.

[SassyLady]

I want to thank everyone who responded to this thread --- I know that there are people who probably can't talk about this and I totally understand.........I personally found that by talking about it I was able to lance the wound and let the healing begin. I talk about it now as a way to let others know that PTSD is not just a warrior's injury.

[crin63]

I agree with you HogTrash and Crin - however, it was therapuetic for those of us who had been molested to confront these sick people and let them know exactly how we felt about their perversions. Unfortunately, one of the rules of the group was that no one could get out of their seats for any reason and it was hard to sit there and NOT get up and beat them to death.

After my TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) they sent me too group therapy because no one believed I had a TBI until the CT scan showed damaged in 3 places, they just thought I was depressed or lying. I already knew that I didn't have patience for stupid people but that just reaffirmed it. I'm too bold, direct and loud for that kind of setting. I'm glad it helped you out though.

[HogTrash]

After my TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) they sent me too group therapy because no one believed I had a TBI until the CT scan showed damaged in 3 places, they just thought I was depressed or lying. I already knew that I didn't have patience for stupid people but that just reaffirmed it. I'm too bold, direct and loud for that kind of setting. I'm glad it helped you out though.You would probably freak out in a room full of liberals then, huh? :confused:

[SassyLady]

After my TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) they sent me too group therapy because no one believed I had a TBI until the CT scan showed damaged in 3 places, they just thought I was depressed or lying. I already knew that I didn't have patience for stupid people but that just reaffirmed it. I'm too bold, direct and loud for that kind of setting. I'm glad it helped you out though.

I am sorry to hear about your TBI Crin ....... as the wife of a soldier I've attended briefings about TBI and how to recognize the symptoms .... I am so glad you were able to be diagnosed and hopefully treated.

You would have loved the therapy for the Victims of Incest: we could be bold, loud and very direct and there was absolutely no PC involved. The only thing we were not allowed to do was get out of our chairs...............I can remember screaming and cursing at several people during the sessions.......usually there were 30 people - with an average of five molestors in the group...........so they were definitely there to be verbally abused and educated.

Those guys were not there to be rehabilitated ......they were ordered to be there by the courts and only to help us ....... some of our abusers were long dead and these guys were the subsitutes for the confrontations we all needed to do in order to move on.

[crin63]

You would probably freak out in a room full of liberals then, huh? :confused:

Thats why I never put myself in that situation. :salute:

[HogTrash]

Thats why I never put myself in that situation. :salute:It would be worse than being waterboarded. :beer:

[chloe]

After my TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) they sent me too group therapy because no one believed I had a TBI until the CT scan showed damaged in 3 places, they just thought I was depressed or lying. I already knew that I didn't have patience for stupid people but that just reaffirmed it. I'm too bold, direct and loud for that kind of setting. I'm glad it helped you out though.

How did you get a Traumatic Brain Injury>?:eek: