emmett
07-20-2009, 08:42 AM
Recently my family has fallen on hard times and we are basically broke. After operating an honest hardworking family business we have come upon hard times caused by excessive fuel prices, taxes and ridiculous operating expenses. In anticipating your nes Health Care Plan we have decided that we will not be able to stay in business once you require us to provide health care for all of our employees.
I have however came up with a very smart recovery plan for our company so long as you will be able to offer us a fraction of the consideration you gave to way less responsible corporations. Here it is:
We need a bailout. You can help. Here we go. If you just take one penny from each of the 46 million Americans who recieve public assistance of any kind, we can make it. I'll lay out the math for you and certainly you will see that we are worth the investment based on the logic you have used in determining other bailout programs.
1 penny from each freeloader won't hurt them at all. It will however provide my family 4.6 million dollars of bailout funding. Sort of "reverse waelth spreading" if you may. We will immediately pay 56% in tax right off the top and still have around 2 million dollars to work with. No one hurt right????
With this money we will be abloe to continue to employ 20 people and pay them well. They will pay taxes, buy products and thereby "stimulate" the economy. And remember we gave back over half the money before we got started which will mean each of the wealth providers contributed less than a half a penny to the cause. That is nothing right? Incidentally, we will pay back the rest of the money in one year. No harm...no foul. We would have to request however that we be allowed to run the company...not you, such as with GM, so we actually are succesful. I don;t mean to be too supercritical but you screwed that all up. Anyway...I don;t think you will want the government in the repossession business going around picking up Democrats cars after they buy the ones they cannot afford. That would result in all the Lincoln Navigators dosappearing from housing projects all over America and probably contribute to a sharp decrease in your vote support in 2012. I certainly wouldn;t want to do that after you were so kind as to help my family out of this financial crunch we are in.
Please consider this plan for my family's bailout. It is way more lucrative than the shit you have been proposing and would certainly work for us. I await your response with great anticipation. I know you will get back to me quickly because I have witnessed the proficiency by which you managed to get this stupid health care bill before Congress in less than 180 days. My plan, brilliant if I may say so myself, is certainly going to be better for America than Health care so I'm sure you agree you should respond quickly.
Sincerely,
Emmett the Repoman
I have however came up with a very smart recovery plan for our company so long as you will be able to offer us a fraction of the consideration you gave to way less responsible corporations. Here it is:
We need a bailout. You can help. Here we go. If you just take one penny from each of the 46 million Americans who recieve public assistance of any kind, we can make it. I'll lay out the math for you and certainly you will see that we are worth the investment based on the logic you have used in determining other bailout programs.
1 penny from each freeloader won't hurt them at all. It will however provide my family 4.6 million dollars of bailout funding. Sort of "reverse waelth spreading" if you may. We will immediately pay 56% in tax right off the top and still have around 2 million dollars to work with. No one hurt right????
With this money we will be abloe to continue to employ 20 people and pay them well. They will pay taxes, buy products and thereby "stimulate" the economy. And remember we gave back over half the money before we got started which will mean each of the wealth providers contributed less than a half a penny to the cause. That is nothing right? Incidentally, we will pay back the rest of the money in one year. No harm...no foul. We would have to request however that we be allowed to run the company...not you, such as with GM, so we actually are succesful. I don;t mean to be too supercritical but you screwed that all up. Anyway...I don;t think you will want the government in the repossession business going around picking up Democrats cars after they buy the ones they cannot afford. That would result in all the Lincoln Navigators dosappearing from housing projects all over America and probably contribute to a sharp decrease in your vote support in 2012. I certainly wouldn;t want to do that after you were so kind as to help my family out of this financial crunch we are in.
Please consider this plan for my family's bailout. It is way more lucrative than the shit you have been proposing and would certainly work for us. I await your response with great anticipation. I know you will get back to me quickly because I have witnessed the proficiency by which you managed to get this stupid health care bill before Congress in less than 180 days. My plan, brilliant if I may say so myself, is certainly going to be better for America than Health care so I'm sure you agree you should respond quickly.
Sincerely,
Emmett the Repoman