Apparently I work cheap!

[jimnyc]

All of my Muslim buddies work at the local Mobil station, including the owner who has 3 computers in his office at the station. I've worked on all 3 quite a few times and barely received a thank you, let alone a free pack of smokes or a free Dr. Pepper.

The owner has been nagging me to go to his house and help with his own computer. He can't get his HP 6210 AIO printer to work and was infested with spyware, malicious ware, viruses and horrible settings. He finally convinced me to go yesterday, so we went in my vehicle, about 20 miles each way. It took me about 4hrs to completely fix all of his issues on his crappy equipment. Since I consider him a friend, had he offered me money after completion I would have declined it. Nonetheless, the gesture of compensating me for my time always feels good, even if I would turn it down.

He owns 5 gas stations but no free gas for my troubles. No smokes and no Dr. Pepper. He approached me at the completion and handed me a bag of peas in a snack baggie. Yes, you read that correctly, a bag of fucking peas! And no ordinary peas, but dried peas that were slightly salted! Of course I accepted them as I didn't want to insult him. But peas for 4 hours of my work and making his computer run 500% better than prior to my arrival?

I even gave a few to my son last night and he spit them out and said they were horrible. So I actually got shitty tasting peas to boot!

I think I'm going to list them on Ebay and claim they are the forbidden vegetables from Allah.

Fucking peas!!!!!! When I worked at a law firm, I had an attorney kick me in my ass out of frustration while I was bent down under a conference room table. I felt less insulted by his gesture. I may return there and give that son of a bitch the peas.

Praise be to Allah and praise the Peas!!

[PostmodernProphet]

there are always opportunities to meet cheap people....I have a client that comes in from time to time to have me do things, but who makes a point of handling her own evictions (which are my bread and butter workload)....so the other day she asks me if she can bring in something to be notarized (she knows I never charge for that) and it's the pleadings for an eviction she is doing herself....then she asks if she can borrow a stamp and envelope to mail it "because it looks better if it comes from a lawyer".....

[MtnBiker]

whoa, maybe they are magic peas, perhaps you are suppose to plant them and climb up a giant pea stock

[Abbey Marie]

Jim, sounds like two things to me:
1. Wasabi peas (if they are spicy)
2. A very ungrateful friend.

I get my friends gifts, etc, whenever they do me a favor. Next time, tell him you are busy.

[MtnBiker]

Jim, I assume you spend money at his place of business. You do business with him, it is appropriate that he do business with you. If he asks you do work for him again name your price.

[gabosaurus]

MtnBiker's comment reminded me of something my dad once told me: No one can take advantage of you unless you let them.
It's not because he is Muslim. It is because he is cheap and lacks a sense of gratitude. Next time he asks, offer a trade out on gas or product, or name your price.

[chloe]

that's a shame

[Binky]

All of my Muslim buddies work at the local Mobil station, including the owner who has 3 computers in his office at the station. I've worked on all 3 quite a few times and barely received a thank you, let alone a free pack of smokes or a free Dr. Pepper.

The owner has been nagging me to go to his house and help with his own computer. He can't get his HP 6210 AIO printer to work and was infested with spyware, malicious ware, viruses and horrible settings. He finally convinced me to go yesterday, so we went in my vehicle, about 20 miles each way. It took me about 4hrs to completely fix all of his issues on his crappy equipment. Since I consider him a friend, had he offered me money after completion I would have declined it. Nonetheless, the gesture of compensating me for my time always feels good, even if I would turn it down.

He owns 5 gas stations but no free gas for my troubles. No smokes and no Dr. Pepper. He approached me at the completion and handed me a bag of peas in a snack baggie. Yes, you read that correctly, a bag of fucking peas! And no ordinary peas, but dried peas that were slightly salted! Of course I accepted them as I didn't want to insult him. But peas for 4 hours of my work and making his computer run 500% better than prior to my arrival?

I even gave a few to my son last night and he spit them out and said they were horrible. So I actually got shitty tasting peas to boot!

I think I'm going to list them on Ebay and claim they are the forbidden vegetables from Allah.

Fucking peas!!!!!! When I worked at a law firm, I had an attorney kick me in my ass out of frustration while I was bent down under a conference room table. I felt less insulted by his gesture. I may return there and give that son of a bitch the peas.

Praise be to Allah and praise the Peas!!


That's why he owns five gas stations. He reaches for handouts and mooches whenever he can, saving himself money over the long run to buy nice things and invest in businesses.

Maybe you should advertise your services and make a profit from them. Next time he needs your help, tell him you are now charging for your services as he does for his.

[Kathianne]

All of my Muslim buddies work at the local Mobil station, including the owner who has 3 computers in his office at the station. I've worked on all 3 quite a few times and barely received a thank you, let alone a free pack of smokes or a free Dr. Pepper.

The owner has been nagging me to go to his house and help with his own computer. He can't get his HP 6210 AIO printer to work and was infested with spyware, malicious ware, viruses and horrible settings. He finally convinced me to go yesterday, so we went in my vehicle, about 20 miles each way. It took me about 4hrs to completely fix all of his issues on his crappy equipment. Since I consider him a friend, had he offered me money after completion I would have declined it. Nonetheless, the gesture of compensating me for my time always feels good, even if I would turn it down.

He owns 5 gas stations but no free gas for my troubles. No smokes and no Dr. Pepper. He approached me at the completion and handed me a bag of peas in a snack baggie. Yes, you read that correctly, a bag of fucking peas! And no ordinary peas, but dried peas that were slightly salted! Of course I accepted them as I didn't want to insult him. But peas for 4 hours of my work and making his computer run 500% better than prior to my arrival?

I even gave a few to my son last night and he spit them out and said they were horrible. So I actually got shitty tasting peas to boot!

I think I'm going to list them on Ebay and claim they are the forbidden vegetables from Allah.

Fucking peas!!!!!! When I worked at a law firm, I had an attorney kick me in my ass out of frustration while I was bent down under a conference room table. I felt less insulted by his gesture. I may return there and give that son of a bitch the peas.

Praise be to Allah and praise the Peas!!

Damn I wanted to rep this! I was laughing so hard! No go, your fault. ;)

[jimnyc]

I wanted to share a picture of my delightful little morsels with everyone. And let this be a lesson to you kiddies out there - if you go to school, go to college, go to tech school, work your trade for over 15 years - you too can have a set of these one of a kind Peas!

I need to say this one more time - FUCKING PEAS???????????

http://i41.tinypic.com/5vznro.jpg

[Abbey Marie]

Jim,
In Islam, a bag of peas means that recipient is very manly and has a huge...

Feel better? :D

[jimnyc]

Jim,
In Islam, a bag of peas means that recipient is very manly and has a huge...

Feel better? :D

No, because then I'd be left wondering how they knew about my monstrosity! :)

[Abbey Marie]

No, because then I'd be left wondering how they knew about my monstrosity! :)

Obviously, containment is an issue. :beer:

[jimnyc]

Obviously, containment is an issue. :beer:

Yeah, everyone thinks I'm fat because of the size pants I wear, but between you and I, it's because I gotta keep the bastard under a tight lid - it tends to scare the ladies and the kids!

Actually, I am growing into a fat bastard!

[dan]

This is one of the funniest things I've read on here in a while, Jim! :coffee:

[jackass]

Damn Jim!! :laugh2:

At least make him fill up your tank for Petes sake!!! He owns 5 gas stations!!

[Mr. P]

Why would I be SOooooo tempted to see "del C:/ *.*" ?

WARNING DO NOT TYPE THAT ON YER PUTER FOLKS!!!!

[jimnyc]

Damn Jim!! :laugh2:

At least make him fill up your tank for Petes sake!!! He owns 5 gas stations!!

Chucky, you remember that time the prick lawyer demanded a projector setup AFTER the clients already arrived? And then kicked me in my ass because I couldn't set it up within the first 30 seconds of my arrival?

Yes, I'm still bitter, I hate that fucking place, and I hate peas now too.

[Jeff]

This is one of the funniest things I've read on here in a while, Jim! :coffee:

LMAO, I didn't know Jim could lie so good, lol

Jim shoot his camel, lol

[emmett]

Send him a bill! Still funny as shit though.

[jimnyc]

I just woke up about 5 minutes ago after going to bed at about 2am. That's just over 3 hours of sleep. But I had a nightmare and woke up with the sweats. I can never recall what I was dreaming about beyond about 2 seconds after waking.

My computer has very bright blue LED fans that light up the room fairly well. So I crawled out of bed and the first thing I saw was the damn baggie of peas sitting next to my keyboard. My day is ruined before it has even began.

Fucking peas!!

Who the hell has the audacity to hand someone a baggie full of peas for 4 hours worth of work?

I think these things are slowly possessing me and overtaking my mind. I think they might be terrorist peas designed to infiltrate and kill this infidel. I need to offload them on someone, somehow.

I don't even think I could hand them to a homeless person as I would feel too guilty for "underpaying" the hard working bastard.

Maybe I should pull a "Grumpy Old Men" and hide them under some unsuspecting fools car seat. But I doubt they would smell after awhile, and I'm afraid they may blow it up and I'll be charged and placed at Gitmo for the remainder of my days.

My Chihuahua has been eyeballing them. I'm going to hide them in my desk drawer for now.

Pray for me.

Pray for the Chihuahua.

[Kathianne]

I just woke up about 5 minutes ago after going to bed at about 2am. That's just over 3 hours of sleep. But I had a nightmare and woke up with the sweats. I can never recall what I was dreaming about beyond about 2 seconds after waking.

My computer has very bright blue LED fans that light up the room fairly well. So I crawled out of bed and the first thing I saw was the damn baggie of peas sitting next to my keyboard. My day is ruined before it has even began.

Fucking peas!!

Who the hell has the audacity to hand someone a baggie full of peas for 4 hours worth of work?

I think these things are slowly possessing me and overtaking my mind. I think they might be terrorist peas designed to infiltrate and kill this infidel. I need to offload them on someone, somehow.

I don't even think I could hand them to a homeless person as I would feel too guilty for "underpaying" the hard working bastard.

Maybe I should pull a "Grumpy Old Men" and hide them under some unsuspecting fools car seat. But I doubt they would smell after awhile, and I'm afraid they may blow it up and I'll be charged and placed at Gitmo for the remainder of my days.

My Chihuahua has been eyeballing them. I'm going to hide them in my desk drawer for now.

Pray for me.

Pray for the Chihuahua.

Damn Jim, that was funny. If you spent 4 hours on writing, you might get a gig writing comedy! Still can't rep you though!

[Mr. P]

Oooooo..I have a great idea, Jim! Apparently this guy places some value on those peas so go with it. Next time you purchase something from his store whip out yer bag of peas and make payment!!!!! 1 pea = $1.00

:thumb:

[Gaffer]

Funny story. All I can say is he's a muslim. You think of him as a friend, he thinks of you as a useful infidel. And they say Jews and Scots are stingy.

Try planting them in the back yard like Mntbiker said. Or list them on ebay as a bag of magic peas, you gets lots of views and somebody will bid on them.

[jimnyc]

Holy Crap!!

He's called me about 5 times in the past half an hour. Apparently some company reps came to the station and are installing some software to assist the mechanics. They're having some trouble and getting some errors, and he was "wondering if I could come by and take a look and help them". Luckily these are voice mails so I am just ignoring him.

Do I have a big fucking "L" across my forehead? Does fixing someone's computer a few times mean that you are now responsible for the life of the computer?

No, not this time you ungrateful pea giving prick. I'm gonna go to Exxon for my smokes for awhile until he gets the hint, unless of course I hear a message with a lump of money involved.

I feel like driving down there, getting out of my truck and yelling "Allah Akbar" and whip this baggie of peas at his head.

My wife thinks she's a comedian too. I take my son to karate lessons every Thursday evening and therefore we must eat without her as we leave before she returns from work. She asked me to make these nasty eggplant burgers for dinner. I asked her what else I should make with it and she told me "PEAS" and then let out a little giggle. Yeah, real fucking humorous. Now my Chihuahua will be pissing on her pillow today.

[Yurt]

did you mention world peace....maybe he misunderstood you thats all...

[jackass]

Holy Crap!!

He's called me about 5 times in the past half an hour. Apparently some company reps came to the station and are installing some software to assist the mechanics. They're having some trouble and getting some errors, and he was "wondering if I could come by and take a look and help them". Luckily these are voice mails so I am just ignoring him.

Do I have a big fucking "L" across my forehead? Does fixing someone's computer a few times mean that you are now responsible for the life of the computer?

No, not this time you ungrateful pea giving prick. I'm gonna go to Exxon for my smokes for awhile until he gets the hint, unless of course I hear a message with a lump of money involved.

I feel like driving down there, getting out of my truck and yelling "Allah Akbar" and whip this baggie of peas at his head.

My wife thinks she's a comedian too. I take my son to karate lessons every Thursday evening and therefore we must eat without her as we leave before she returns from work. She asked me to make these nasty eggplant burgers for dinner. I asked her what else I should make with it and she told me "PEAS" and then let out a little giggle. Yeah, real fucking humorous. Now my Chihuahua will be pissing on her pillow today.

Holy shit! I didnt think it could get any funnier!!

P.S.
For those who dont know Jimmy, these are the things that drive him looney!! Instead of just forgetting about these peas, they will haunt him for years to come. Some time 6 months from now after he forgets about the peas, he will find them again and be just as furious as he is now about them. :laugh2:

[crin63]

Maybe they have ties to the Obama administration and this part of the reining in private sector pay.

Will work for peas!!!

[Mr. P]

Holy shit! I didnt think it could get any funnier!!

P.S.
For those who dont know Jimmy, these are the things that drive him looney!! Instead of just forgetting about these peas, they will haunt him for years to come. Some time 6 months from now after he forgets about the peas, he will find them again and be just as furious as he is now about them. :laugh2:

Kinda like that $100 T-shirt from Myrtle Beach? :laugh2:

[jimnyc]

Can someone please kill me? Why do I have so much trouble saying no?

So God forbid I drive the extra 5 minutes to Exxon. I went to get my Dr. Pepper at Mobil and the bastard was still there. Supposedly he got the other issue fixed this morning but just wanted to ask a few questions. He sponsors a Muslim school a few towns over and they have a computer there running very slowly and he wanted to know what programs he should install.

I quickly rattle off the 4 programs he should use and try to light a smoke and leave. That didn't work. He wants me to go in the office and give him links to the downloads. The links turn into "I don't think I have those on this computer, can you install them here?" After all 4 are downloaded, in .rar format, I notice he doesn't have Winrar. I have to download a 5th program just to extract the 4 utilities.

I get ready to leave. "Can you install them for me?"

I install Winrar and reboot. I install all 4 programs and have the machine reboot again. Ok, Seeya! Nope...

"Can you install them and quickly show me how to use them?"

"You did that too quickly, can you type out quick instructions for me to print out so I don't have to call you when I go to the school?"

After finally finishing everything, his phone rings. "Ok Jimmy, I have to take that call" - and basically has me leave the office and proceeds to lock the door behind me. No thank you and no damn peas either!

I hate myself!

[chesswarsnow]

Sorry bout that,

1. This is funny.
2. But at the same time, Jimmy should of said up front what his fee would be...
3. If he is a close friend, ok, but just some gas station owner, and an arab, charge the crap out of him!
4. Send him a pea cut in half in the mail.
5. With a note, "If you want to see any of these peas alive, send me the ransom money at once!":laugh2:


Regards,
SirJamesofTexas

[jimnyc]

Had to cut my last post short as my Dad called and rudely interrupted me.

Anyway...

Fucking peas!!!!!??????

Seriously folks, what's the worst payment you've ever received? I generally feel a bit insulted if I go on a job interview and they offer minimum wage, but at least the bastards are offering CASH and not vegetables!

I'm thinking next time he asks me I might place a little "friend" on his computer that will give a little "shock and awe" to all his files. It's really not hard, and it's timed! I can have it do it's dirty work the day after I leave or a week later. Of course he'll then call me to fix it, and I can use tech jargon about how the "flux capacitor" is ruined and tell him he needs a new computer. I'll tell him I can get him a great deal on a MUCH better computer than his crap for about $900. Of course it'll cost me about $300 and I'll build it myself, and voila, I have my fee in cash instead of little green terrorists. It's either that or I put on my gorilla mask from Halloween a few years back and do a heist.

*sigh* I couldn't do any of the above though as when push comes to shove, I love computers and would feel bad for hurting my little technical friends. And I like my freedom too so I think the heist part might also be a hasty thing to do.



5. With a note, "If you want to see any of these peas alive, send me the ransom money at once!":laugh2:


Regards,
SirJamesofTexas

That's a damn good idea! Either that, or I might sneak by their every day and just leave one pea at a time inside his car to fuck with him. Draw a little turban on the pea and also a miniature bomb around it.

[Kathianne]

Through my laughs, this song popped into my head:


Sitting by the roadside on a summer's day
Chatting with my mess-mates passing time away
Lying in the shadows underneath the trees
Goodness how delicious eating goober peas.

Chorus:
Peas, peas, peas, peas
Eating goober peas
Goodness how delicious
Eating goober peas.

When a horse-man passes, the soldiers have a rule
To cry out their loudest, 'Mister, where's your mule?'
But another custom, enchanting-er than these
Is wearing out your grinders, eating goober peas.

Chorus

Just before the battle, the General hears a row
He says 'The Yanks are coming, I hear their rifles now.'
He looks down the roadway and what d'you think he sees?
The Georgia Militia cracking goober peas.

Chorus

I think my song has lasted just about enough.
The subject's interesting but the rhymes are mighty rough.
I wish the war was over so free from rags and fleas
We'd kiss our wives and sweethearts, say good-bye to goober peas.

Chorus Old Civil War song, my repertoire is limited.

[Gaffer]

Through my laughs, this song popped into my head:

Old Civil War song, my repertoire is limited.

Great minds think alike. I thought of that song too.

[Abbey Marie]

One idea:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3007/2515007540_c7201ec9cb.jpg?v=0

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3114/2514182427_e808395073.jpg?v=0

[jimnyc]

No comedy today, I'm too pissed off.

He called me like 10 times throughout the morning today and I ignored all of his calls, and he left no messages. I went to the station about 20 minutes ago because he wasn't there, just to get smokes and my Dr. Pepper. My buddy Karim tells me that he left the "school computer" hooked up in his office and wants me to install and run all the software I downloaded for him yesterday! Never actually asked me, just brought it there and hooked it up with expectations.

I boot it up and it asks for a password, which he never left, so I am back home until 2pm. I'm writing him a short note that this is the last time and I expect reasonable compensation in the future. In other words, he'll never ask again as I know he's too cheap to even part with half of what the market price is asking for tech calls.

Don't even ask me why I just didn't say no and leave.

[Mr. P]

No comedy today, I'm too pissed off.

He called me like 10 times throughout the morning today and I ignored all of his calls, and he left no messages. I went to the station about 20 minutes ago because he wasn't there, just to get smokes and my Dr. Pepper. My buddy Karim tells me that he left the "school computer" hooked up in his office and wants me to install and run all the software I downloaded for him yesterday! Never actually asked me, just brought it there and hooked it up with expectations.

I boot it up and it asks for a password, which he never left, so I am back home until 2pm. I'm writing him a short note that this is the last time and I expect reasonable compensation in the future. In other words, he'll never ask again as I know he's too cheap to even part with half of what the market price is asking for tech calls.

Don't even ask me why I just didn't say no and leave.

It puzzles me why you just don't say I charge $xx per hr or job. Heck I'm no pro and I charge $50 to fix a puter.

Edit: plus parts.

[Gaffer]

Well Jim this sounds like a friend you can afford to lose. Tell him you need a BIG contribution to this board if you are going to continue helping him.

[Mr. P]

Well Jim this sounds like a friend you can afford to lose. Tell him you need a BIG contribution to this board if you are going to continue helping him.

:thumb:

[jackass]

I think its time to tell him unless he contributes to the board, the trojan horse that you accidently left on there will wipe all of his computers! :dance:

[Abbey Marie]

No comedy today, I'm too pissed off.
...



Darn. That was some of my best stuff. :laugh2:

[jimnyc]

So I take a peek at this hunk of shit and find it's a 1ghz CPU with 512MB of memory, so not much wonder why the thing is so damn slow. Secondly, it was so riddled with spyware and viruses that I could barely do a damn thing. No internet, no safe mode, no add/remove programs, no command prompt, no control panel access...

Luckily, since it's an HP machine, it had the option at bootup to hit F10 and do a system recovery - which leaves the data but completely restores all the system files. Almost everything was fixed but still no internet. I tried everything and no luck. Then it hit me - I look at another computer and he now needs static IP's and DNS entries since switching from Verizon to Optimun Online Premium. Would have been nice to be notified of this in the beginning!

So I call him to tell him that all is done and it's much, much smoother now. He then informs me that this IS NOT the computer from the school but rather his sister in laws computer - and that he still needs to bring the school computer in another time.

I'm changing my number tomorrow and burning the peas.

[Mr. P]

So I take a peek at this hunk of shit and find it's a 1ghz CPU with 512MB of memory, so not much wonder why the thing is so damn slow. Secondly, it was so riddled with spyware and viruses that I could barely do a damn thing. No internet, no safe mode, no add/remove programs, no command prompt, no control panel access...

Luckily, since it's an HP machine, it had the option at bootup to hit F10 and do a system recovery - which leaves the data but completely restores all the system files. Almost everything was fixed but still no internet. I tried everything and no luck. Then it hit me - I look at another computer and he now needs static IP's and DNS entries since switching from Verizon to Optimun Online Premium. Would have been nice to be notified of this in the beginning!

So I call him to tell him that all is done and it's much, much smoother now. He then informs me that this IS NOT the computer from the school but rather his sister in laws computer - and that he still needs to bring the school computer in another time.

I'm changing my number tomorrow and burning the peas.

:laugh2: If you ever speak to him bout a puter or buy from his store YER AN IDIOT!

[KitchenKitten99]

Jim I am laughing so hard, i have tears in my eyes and the kids are looking at me like i have lost my mind and asking what is so funny...

[jackass]

Jim, seriously...just drop off an invoice for you time. You can charge as little as you want but make sure you get something out of it!

[stephanie]

Oh man Jim, I'm sorry but this running story has made me chuckle..

maybe you can piss him off to get rid of him, and tell him his peas tasted like shit...

I do like the donation to your board though...

let us know the end to this story..:thumb:

[crin63]

Jim, seriously...just drop off an invoice for you time. You can charge as little as you want but make sure you get something out of it!

Actually that it what an attorney friend of mine does. People are always asking for his counsel for free so he sends them an invoice and they quit asking for counsel.

[PostmodernProphet]

I used to get a lot of calls for advice on matters that weren't worth the hassle of billing, so I created an "association" and charged people $25 a year to be members....being a member entitled them to free legal advice on landlord tenant matters.....now people call, I ask them for their membership number......they don't have one I can say, "Oh, I'm sorry".....and it generates an extra $5k a year......

[Mr. P]

I used to get a lot of calls for advice on matters that weren't worth the hassle of billing, so I created an "association" and charged people $25 a year to be members....being a member entitled them to free legal advice on landlord tenant matters.....now people call, I ask them for their membership number......they don't have one I can say, "Oh, I'm sorry".....and it generates an extra $5k a year......

Do you answer yer own phone? No one get's to the attorney in this office cept through me unless they make an appointment.
Even with an appointment I screen em so well 98% are full fee payers.

[PostmodernProphet]

Do you answer yer own phone? No one get's to the attorney in this office cept through me unless they make an appointment.
Even with an appointment I screen em so well 98% are full fee payers.

yes, I do....I'm a one man office.....no three piece suits, no wingtip shoes.....if I had a secretary I would need to generate an extra $45k a year in billings....I can generate a 35 page living trust using mail merge in less than ten minutes and the filings for 20 evictions in less than an hour......

[chesswarsnow]

Sorry bout that,

1. I got an idea.
2. Next time you need gas,smokes and a DP, just bring a cheap hamburger and drop in on the counter as payment.:laugh2:

Regard,
SirJamesofTexas

[gabosaurus]

Jim, there is a very simple solution to this problem:
Go over to the guy's place and inform him that Allah (Blessed be his name) has decreed that his computer is a piece of crap.
Next, inform him that the local Iman has issued a fatwa against his computer. Forcing you to take out a hammer and screwdriver and demolish it.
After you have destroyed the computer, borrow the guy's prayer rug and bless the rubbish. End your prayer by spreading peas around the room.

[Abbey Marie]

Jim, there is a very simple solution to this problem:
Go over to the guy's place and inform him that Allah (Blessed be his name) has decreed that his computer is a piece of crap.
Next, inform him that the local Iman has issued a fatwa against his computer. Forcing you to take out a hammer and screwdriver and demolish it.
After you have destroyed the computer, borrow the guy's prayer rug and bless the rubbish. End your prayer by spreading peas around the room.

:laugh2: Very creative, Gabby!