You might be a redneck if..........

[Little-Acorn]

OK, time for the obligatory redneck joke thread. Those of you holding a contrary opinion, feel free to start a damyankee thread any time.

You might be a redneck if........

* You go to family reunions to pick up a date.

* Your home is mobile and your six cars aren't.

* Your definition of "virgin" is "Someone who can outrun her father".

* You had reached voting age before you found out that "Damn Yankee" was two words.

........anyone else?

[Jeff]

:laugh2: cute:laugh2:

[Abbey Marie]

You might be a redneck if...


You mow your lawn and find a car.

[Little-Acorn]

You might be a redneck if....

You go to your grandpa's funeral, and your grandma and your ma get in a fight over who gets to be the widow.

[manu1959]

you might be a red neck if........ You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.....

[Jeff]

you might be a red neck if........ You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.....

:laugh2: LOL thats a good one manu , I told the wife , she didn't find it as funny. lol

[Mr. P]

You might be a red neck if........

Yer front porch collapses and kills four of yer dogs!

You might be a red neck if........

Yer freg is on the front porch!

You might be a red neck if........

Someone offers you a Goober pea and ya know what it is.

[Little-Acorn]

You might be a redneck if......

* your wife has ever said, "Honey, move that transmission so I can take a bath."

[Yurt]

your government might be a redneck if....

the government pickup truck looks like this

http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/File-IKEA-Washington2C-DC/photo//090122/photos_ts_afp/a172e73f067820ad4b5d87160afe7374/;_ylt=Atl5V8ITTnHAn18piKsh3GYDW7oF

[red states rule]

You might be a redneck if

You take a fishing pole into Sea World

You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding

You've ever made change in the offering plate

[Trigg]

Something a redneck would never say:



"You can't fix that with duck tape."



I can't make anymore redneck jokes, Nukeman's family resembles them.......

[red states rule]

You might be a redneck if you think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi


You might be a redneck if your huntin' dog had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.

[Immanuel]

Something a redneck would never say:



"You can't fix that with duct tape."



I can't make anymore redneck jokes, Nukeman's family resembles them.......

Edited: At least I know it is duct tape not duck tape but there is a brand of duct tape that is Duck Tape. Guess I'm not a redneck after all since I knew that. :D

Immie

[Trigg]

Edited: At least I know it is duct tape not duck tape but there is a brand of duct tape that is Duck Tape. Guess I'm not a redneck after all since I knew that. :D

Immie

smart ass :slap:


j/k

[red states rule]

You might be a redneck if Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People"

[Mr. P]

Edited: At least I know it is duct tape not duck tape but there is a brand of duct tape that is Duck Tape. Guess I'm not a redneck after all since I knew that. :D

Immie

O BS! If yer that well versed in duct tape you are a redneck! Just fess-up, Bubba! :laugh2:

[Immanuel]

O BS! If yer that well versed in duct tape you are a redneck! Just fess-up, Bubba! :laugh2:

LOL... but to be honest, I had to check the net to be sure I was right before I made my post. That was how I found out that there really was a brand of duct tape called Duck Tape.

Immie

[Mr. P]

LOL... but to be honest, I had to check the net to be sure I was right before I made my post. That was how I found out that there really was a brand of duct tape called Duck Tape.

Immie

LOL..here's another for ya..Dry wall is Dry wall..."Sheetrock" is a brand.

[Immanuel]

LOL..here's another for ya..Dry wall is Dry wall..."Sheetrock" is a brand.

Didn't know that. You must be a redneck. :D

Immie

[Mr. P]

Didn't know that. You must be a redneck. :D

Immie

Another...

Facial tissue is...yes, facial tissue..."KLEENEX" is a brand.

[Immanuel]

Another...

Facial tissue is...yes, facial tissue..."KLEENEX" is a brand.

Yes, that one I knew, but in regards to that, I suppose one measure of the success of an advertising campaign is to have your brand name become the household name for the product. In that case, Kleenex has clearly succeeded.

Immie

[Trigg]

Did you know that duct tape (thank you immie) can cure a wart???????



Save your money, just put duct tape on the wart wait a few minutes and then rip it off. Do this a couple of times a day for a few days and the body will realize the wart isn't supposed to be there and the body will reabsorb it.

Our Dr. told me about it when I took one of my boys in and it works!!!!!!!!

[Immanuel]

Did you know that duct tape (thank you immie) can cure a wart???????



Save your money, just put duct tape on the wart wait a few minutes and then rip it off. Do this a couple of times a day for a few days and the body will realize the wart isn't supposed to be there and the body will reabsorb it.

Our Dr. told me about it when I took one of my boys in and it works!!!!!!!!

I would suggest that for the guys at least, they shave the area first. :laugh2:

And no, I did not know that duct tape would cure warts!

Immie

[Trigg]

I would suggest that for the guys at least, they shave the area first. :laugh2:

And no, I did not know that duct tape would cure warts!

Immie

Ya, learn something new everyday.

Now onto the uses of chicken wire.


sometimes it's good to be a redneck :coffee: