Am I A Bad Man? I Made My Daughter Cry Last Night.

[crin63]

Here's the situation:

It was late she was already supposed to be in bed but she is sitting talking on the phone. I go into my bedroom and ponder how I should address the situation. When I come out she's in another room in the house still not in bed where she is supposed to be. So I decide to go sit in her room and wait for her with a very impatient posture, obviously she is in trouble. We talk for a minute and she starts to tear up a bit.

I guess I should have just left the ribbons I have been saving for her wedding day since she was 3 years old in my bedroom because they made her tear up and hug me. She thought it was just so sweet and cute that I (this big ole manly dude) have been saving them for her. She's only 13 but I figured I would show them to her anyway since I just found them again. I got them from her on a gift for valentines day when she was 3 and thought hey these would be cool to keep for her wedding day. That whole something old thing.

Okay, so I'm a romantic and sap when it comes to my wife and daughter.

[Yurt]

http://metzler.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/knut-the-polar-bear-berlin-zoo-4-07.jpg

[retiredman]

you sound like a great dad.

[Mr. P]

Hey, I used to just disconnect the phone line...

The ribbon thing is great!

[Trigg]

Wow, she teared up??

My daugher is almost 13 and is doing that head spinning and moods up and down thing.



Now she's looking over my shoulder rolling her eyes. I just LOVE this age

[Kathianne]

Wow, she teared up??

My daugher is almost 13 and is doing that head spinning and moods up and down thing.



Now she's looking over my shoulder rolling her eyes. I just LOVE this age

Trigg, moms and dads and daughters, a whole different thing. On the other hand, when things would get too 'explosive' around these parts, I'd write her a letter and tell her all the things that were good about her; that I admired and loved about her. Oh yeah, I managed to squeeze in a reminder to see things from my point of view and to remember that someday she might have a daughter too. ;) She has them all, there have been times we've read and cried together over them, doesn't seem to prevent the next blow up though.

My daughter and I are polar opposites, she is all emotion and arts; I'm all logic and analysis. I'm sure that above statement isn't the whole truth, but it certainly seems like it at times. :laugh2: Somehow dads are able to jump and the daughters melt. It's a hormone thing or something.

[krisy]

I hope your daughter realizes how fortunate she is to have a dad like you,crin. My parents divorced when in my early teens and altho my dad comes to the birthday parties and I see him on Christmas,those are about the only times I hear from him.

I think it is wonderful that you did such a thoughful thing for her with the ribbons. 13 is a hard age,I know,I have a 13 year old boy. Having a good dad is just as important as having a good mom. Because you are so good to her,she will pick a man to spend her life with that is good to her.

[Kathianne]

I hope your daughter realizes how fortunate she is to have a dad like you,crin. My parents divorced when in my early teens and altho my dad comes to the birthday parties and I see him on Christmas,those are about the only times I hear from him.

I think it is wonderful that you did such a thoughful thing for her with the ribbons. 13 is a hard age,I know,I have a 13 year old boy. Having a good dad is just as important as having a good mom. Because you are so good to her,she will pick a man to spend her life with that is good to her.

I agree. The better the daughter can get along with her father or a significant male, the better able she will be to pick a good husband.

[crin63]

I truly appreciate all the praise. Me and my daughter have a tremendous relationship. We wrestle, we watch movies/TV together, we talk all the time, I tickle the hiccups right out of her, I take her places with me even if its just Home Depot and we just generally have a good time together. I still demand her respect and that she honor me but that's not really ever an issue. All I have to do is point out that shes crossed the line and she's crushed.

My sons are from my 1st marriage and although I got custody of them and raised them I made allot more mistakes with them. I had allot of maturing to do and learning how to be a parent. I did the best that I knew how in every circumstance with them.

[5stringJeff]

I truly appreciate all the praise. Me and my daughter have a tremendous relationship. We wrestle, we watch movies/TV together, we talk all the time, I tickle the hiccups right out of her, I take her places with me even if its just Home Depot and we just generally have a good time together. I still demand her respect and that she honor me but that's not really ever an issue. All I have to do is point out that shes crossed the line and she's crushed.

My sons are from my 1st marriage and although I got custody of them and raised them I made allot more mistakes with them. I had allot of maturing to do and learning how to be a parent. I did the best that I knew how in every circumstance with them.

Crin, your relationship with your daughter sounds like my relationship with my (step)daughter. She's 14 and wears my patience thin at times, but I still do all I can to show her that I love her.

[crin63]

Crin, your relationship with your daughter sounds like my relationship with my (step)daughter. She's 14 and wears my patience thin at times, but I still do all I can to show her that I love her.

Being a step-parent or child isn't easy so it's doubly impressive in my books for you to have that kind of relationship. :salute:

Well done Jeff!

[Trigg]

Trigg, moms and dads and daughters, a whole different thing. On the other hand, when things would get too 'explosive' around these parts, I'd write her a letter and tell her all the things that were good about her; that I admired and loved about her. Oh yeah, I managed to squeeze in a reminder to see things from my point of view and to remember that someday she might have a daughter too. ;) She has them all, there have been times we've read and cried together over them, doesn't seem to prevent the next blow up though.

My daughter and I are polar opposites, she is all emotion and arts; I'm all logic and analysis. I'm sure that above statement isn't the whole truth, but it certainly seems like it at times. :laugh2: Somehow dads are able to jump and the daughters melt. It's a hormone thing or something.

My daughter and my husband have practically the same personnality, they both try to get the last word in. That makes it hard for them, especially now with her hormones all over the place.

I have 3 sisters so I called my mom looking for advise. It wasn't encouraging, my mom told me she'd go back to normal in a few years. Ah well. :laugh2:

[CatalystOfChaos]

I'm sure she loved the ribbons.

Did you ever get her hope chest like you wanted to get set up?

[crin63]

Trigg, moms and dads and daughters, a whole different thing. On the other hand, when things would get too 'explosive' around these parts, I'd write her a letter and tell her all the things that were good about her; that I admired and loved about her. Oh yeah, I managed to squeeze in a reminder to see things from my point of view and to remember that someday she might have a daughter too. ;) She has them all, there have been times we've read and cried together over them, doesn't seem to prevent the next blow up though.

My daughter and I are polar opposites, she is all emotion and arts; I'm all logic and analysis. I'm sure that above statement isn't the whole truth, but it certainly seems like it at times. :laugh2: Somehow dads are able to jump and the daughters melt. It's a hormone thing or something.


My daughter and my husband have practically the same personnality, they both try to get the last word in. That makes it hard for them, especially now with her hormones all over the place.

I have 3 sisters so I called my mom looking for advise. It wasn't encouraging, my mom told me she'd go back to normal in a few years. Ah well. :laugh2:

Hormones are never a problem with my daughter. When she gets a little (very little) snippy or weepy she either realizes what it is and laughs or I just ask her why she's crying or irritated and she pauses for a second, thinks about it and starts laughing because she realizes what's going. In my wife's wisdom hormones are never an excuse for any woman to have an attitude.

I always have the last word if I choose to. Sometimes I let them have the last word though, lol. I never allow my children to be disrespectful or snippy with my wife without my addressing it.

[CatalystOfChaos]

Sometimes I let them have the last word though, lol.

Only when you think what the last word will be is something you can poke fun at lol

You let Nick let the last word all the time... only because it makes him look like a doofus and negates whatever he was trying to say lol

[Abbey Marie]

Hormones are never a problem with my daughter. When she gets a little (very little) snippy or weepy she either realizes what it is and laughs or I just ask her why she's crying or irritated and she pauses for a second, thinks about it and starts laughing because she realizes what's going. In my wife's wisdom hormones are never an excuse for any woman to have an attitude.

I always have the last word if I choose to. Sometimes I let them have the last word though, lol. I never allow my children to be disrespectful or snippy with my wife without my addressing it.

In our home, the behavior tended to get worse later, whether it was hormonal or not, I don't know for sure. Our daughter was very sweet at 13. At 16, 17, not so much. She's not terrible; just pushing it at times. Kathianne and I have talked about this several times. She promised me it will get better next year. (and God bless her for that light at the end if the tunnel!)

I agree with you 100% about nipping the attitude in the bud. It's the only way, as even the nicest child will test you regularly to see how far their mouthiness can go. I make sure especially to defend my husband against it. A united front is key, imo.

[crin63]

I'm sure she loved the ribbons.

Did you ever get her hope chest like you wanted to get set up?

I have a hope chest that needs to be refinished but theres no where for her to put it so I'm waiting until I buy a house.

[crin63]

In our home, the behavior tended to get worse later, whether it was hormonal or not, I don't know for sure. Our daughter was very sweet at 13. At 16, 17, not so much. She's not terrible; just pushing it at times. Kathianne and I have talked about this several times. She promised me it will get better next year. (and God bless her for that light at the end if the tunnel!)

I agree with you 100% about nipping the attitude in the bud. It's the only way, as even the nicest child will test you regularly to see how far their mouthiness can go. I make sure especially to defend my husband against it. A united front is key, imo.

I let my younger son get a little louder with me than I liked for a time because he needed to man up a bit. He has achieved that goal and he got passed it on his own. My daughter has never raised her voice to me that I can recall. She has tried it with my wife a couple times but I quickly squashed that.

I really cannot imagine my daughter getting out of control but you just never know what kind of surprise your children will come up with.

[CatalystOfChaos]

My girlfriend has two daughters, a 12 year old and a 3, almost 4 year old.

Every time the 4 year old goes to visit her father and her father's family, she comes back with the absolute worst attitude. They bow to her every whim, including taking her on car rides at 1-2am because she wants to "go somewhere."

She comes back with all the hatred and ignorance her father teaches her, and it takes 2 or 3 days to get it out of her. Then she goes and visits him again. She comes back mouthing off, not wanting to listen to anything, demanding all kinds of rights, if she's told she's going to get in trouble, she tells us to stop threatening her or her daddy will get us.

It can be rather frustrating.

The 12 year old is almost an angel. She has very limited autism/asperger's, so she has a few issues, but they aren't really behavioral. She gets home from school, sits down and immediately does her homework without being asked, until its done. She then gets up and does the couple of chores she was asked to do for the day. She cooks when she can, helps her sister, does her own laundry... She's very rarely in trouble.

Because she has Asperger's, she has spatial awareness issues and doesn't always know where she's at in relation to objects around her, so sometimes she can be a little clumsy. She also has issues comprehending subtleties in language, such as sarcasm. Every once in a while very simple things frustrate her. She does a fantastic job in math and science, and then struggles in english/writing from time to time.

We play video games together all the time, and since i liked Pokemon when I was 12-14 (8-10 years ago for me) and she LOVES pokemon and pokemon cards now, I bought some cards to play with her as well.

The 3 year old can drive me crazy from time to time though lol

Add to that two new dogs (one is 7 months, one is a year and a half) who are finally almost done house training completely, friends over, neighbors, my girlfriend's brother... and we've got a jam packed crazy apartment lol

[CatalystOfChaos]

I let my younger son get a little louder with me than I liked for a time because he needed to man up a bit. He has achieved that goal and he got passed it on his own. My daughter has never raised her voice to me that I can recall. She has tried it with my wife a couple times but I quickly squashed that.

I really cannot imagine my daughter getting out of control but you just never know what kind of surprise your children will come up with.

Nick has definitely manned up... when I was still living with you, he was always scared of everyone and basically did whatever he was told by anyone who told him to, which kept getting him in trouble.

The last few times I've hung out with him, he's much more independent and seems to make decisions better for himself.