NightTrain
09-02-2008, 11:26 PM
I've been working at Red Dog mine for a while now, it's a very remote site north of the Arctic Circle. Most of the personnel work in 4 weeks on / 2 weeks off shifts, and so naturally practical jokes run rampant.
I've changed names to protect the names of the guilty, this one was told to me over dinner up there a couple weeks ago by the two conspiritors.
A while back, Bob was on his 2 weeks off. As usual, his buddy from the mine called him at his house in Seattle.
"Hey, dickhead, you've only got a week left!"
"Yeah, I know."
"When you fly back, bring an inflatable sex doll. A male one."
"What do you need that for?"
"I'll fill you in when you get here. Don't forget it!" and hung up.
The possibilities were endless with the jokes the two could cook up armed with such a device.
So, Bob got his wife in the car and made her go into the store to buy it - he was too embarassed to go buy it himself. She returned with one folded neatly in a flat package with a large 14" dong.
A week later, he almost forgot the doll but remembered it at the last second and stuffed it in his briefcase since his suitcase was already packed and loaded in the car.
Standing in line at the Sea-Tac TSA security area, the agent waved to him and said,
"I have to open your briefcase."
"No, you don't." Bob said, suddenly in a cold sweat.
"Yes, I do. Open it."
"It's not for me," Bob said lamely, popping open the briefcase.
"Hey, I don't care, sir", said the agent, holding up his hands and shaking his head.
Bob shut his briefcase again, beet red, and hurried up the terminal to his gate, cursing his buddy under his breath. Now he had to get it through Anchorage TSA when he switched planes, and he had a bad feeling about the Anchorage screeners.
Bob called his buddy up at Red Dog from his cell once he landed in Anchorage.
"You asshole, the screeners opened my briefcase and think that fucking doll is mine!"
"Why the hell did you put it in there instead of your suitcase? Hahaha! Holy shit, that's great! What did you say when they saw it?"
"Yeah, it's a real gutbuster, you prick. You owe me." and hung up.
He approached the TSA line, trying to not look nervous.
Sure enough, "Sir, I need to look in your briefcase."
"It's not for me..." as the briefcase came open to the gasps of people standing in line.
"Wow, have a nice day, sir!" and Bob was on the last leg to Red Dog.
The doll was a gag gift for a woman who was leaving for good up there who was also a big jokester. They filled the doll up with helium and when the Alaska Airlines 737 Charter landed a week later had the Stewardesses take it on board.
When everyone was on board, a stewardess asked for her to push her Call Button, which was quickly done. Out came the flying doll, dong sticking out proudly and the stewardess brought it back to her, congratulating her.
The woman thanked her and strapped in the doll beside her, pleased with it - she was far to professional of a jokester to show any embarassment. When they got off the plane in Anchorage, she was spotted walking proudly down the terminal with the doll in tow on a leash, floating behind her like a prized balloon, smiling at the stares from everyone in that crowded airport.
She achieved legendary status that day.
I've changed names to protect the names of the guilty, this one was told to me over dinner up there a couple weeks ago by the two conspiritors.
A while back, Bob was on his 2 weeks off. As usual, his buddy from the mine called him at his house in Seattle.
"Hey, dickhead, you've only got a week left!"
"Yeah, I know."
"When you fly back, bring an inflatable sex doll. A male one."
"What do you need that for?"
"I'll fill you in when you get here. Don't forget it!" and hung up.
The possibilities were endless with the jokes the two could cook up armed with such a device.
So, Bob got his wife in the car and made her go into the store to buy it - he was too embarassed to go buy it himself. She returned with one folded neatly in a flat package with a large 14" dong.
A week later, he almost forgot the doll but remembered it at the last second and stuffed it in his briefcase since his suitcase was already packed and loaded in the car.
Standing in line at the Sea-Tac TSA security area, the agent waved to him and said,
"I have to open your briefcase."
"No, you don't." Bob said, suddenly in a cold sweat.
"Yes, I do. Open it."
"It's not for me," Bob said lamely, popping open the briefcase.
"Hey, I don't care, sir", said the agent, holding up his hands and shaking his head.
Bob shut his briefcase again, beet red, and hurried up the terminal to his gate, cursing his buddy under his breath. Now he had to get it through Anchorage TSA when he switched planes, and he had a bad feeling about the Anchorage screeners.
Bob called his buddy up at Red Dog from his cell once he landed in Anchorage.
"You asshole, the screeners opened my briefcase and think that fucking doll is mine!"
"Why the hell did you put it in there instead of your suitcase? Hahaha! Holy shit, that's great! What did you say when they saw it?"
"Yeah, it's a real gutbuster, you prick. You owe me." and hung up.
He approached the TSA line, trying to not look nervous.
Sure enough, "Sir, I need to look in your briefcase."
"It's not for me..." as the briefcase came open to the gasps of people standing in line.
"Wow, have a nice day, sir!" and Bob was on the last leg to Red Dog.
The doll was a gag gift for a woman who was leaving for good up there who was also a big jokester. They filled the doll up with helium and when the Alaska Airlines 737 Charter landed a week later had the Stewardesses take it on board.
When everyone was on board, a stewardess asked for her to push her Call Button, which was quickly done. Out came the flying doll, dong sticking out proudly and the stewardess brought it back to her, congratulating her.
The woman thanked her and strapped in the doll beside her, pleased with it - she was far to professional of a jokester to show any embarassment. When they got off the plane in Anchorage, she was spotted walking proudly down the terminal with the doll in tow on a leash, floating behind her like a prized balloon, smiling at the stares from everyone in that crowded airport.
She achieved legendary status that day.